Premier League – Page 6 – Middle Age Fanclub

NUFC – We can’t do right for doing wrong?

Newcastle United fans, eh? What are we like? With our bloody flags, our songs and our attempts to support our team and help them to win football matches. But that’s not all. What about the club and the team? Buying success, celebrating goals and wins and inventing ‘shithousery’ being the tip of the iceberg. Who do we think we are, eh?

Having supported Newcastle United for over 40 years, I can’t say that we’ve always been popular. The Keegan years aside when we were everyone’s second team, apparently, someone’s always had a problem with Newcastle United. Oddly enough, that problem has grown exponentially over the last two years…I can’t think why.

Do I care what fans of other clubs think? No, of course not. I’m very much with Eddie Howe on this one; we’re not here to be popular, we’re here to compete.

That said, I do find the amount of complaints about us and the amount of moaning from other fans, really, really funny. So, I thought I’d go through a few things that spring to mind, especially as the attention on us seems to have ramped up significantly this season.

Eddie Howe is the master protagonist in all of this. As soon as he joined the club in November 2021, he set about winding up fans of other clubs. And how did he do it? The Lap of Appreciation. Win, lose or draw, our team and staff would stay on the pitch and walk round clapping. Clapping! I mean, straight away you can see how that would irk fans of other clubs. Who does he think he is getting 30 odd men and women to amble round a load of grass clapping at folk? God forbid, if I supported anyone else I’d be understandably livid at all that clapping!

The main problem here, according to fans of other clubs is that we haven’t won a trophy. So, of course we’re not allowed to celebrate anything, ever. In fact it’s possible that within a few months the Premier League will ask clubs to vote on whether clubs in black and white stripes can celebrate goals. Maybe, we can even expect a subsection about getting excited or something like that. That’s before we even get onto the crowd roaring at a tackle being made or a player enjoying the same, which has a seismic influence on the mood of other fans. More evidence of what a small club we are, apparently…

The point in all of this – and I truly hope we all got the sarcasm – is that it’s absolutely ridiculous and more than just a little bit pathetic. Two years of whingeing, moaning, bleating on and the crying of gallons of salty tears and all because what was once dubbed ‘a wee club in the north’ are challenging the status quo again. But the ridiculousness doesn’t stop there.

Probably most famously, Eddie then brought in the celebration photo. That’s right, a photo of people celebrating! So, when we win a match the whole squad, staff and even injured players have a photo in the dressing room. Personally, I love it. It’s a brilliant illustration of the spirit and the togetherness in the squad and coming after watching teams with fractured dressing rooms and very little spirit for years and years, it’s a welcome addition to the way we do things.

Other fans loathe that photo, which is hilarious! When we’ve won, social media is just a wonderful illustration of how much we’ve upset what some fans see as being the natural order of things. And of course, it was even funnier when Jason Tindall organised the squad and staff into formation in front of the away fans at the end of our derby win at the Stadium of Shite recently. The irony of being told that we showed a lack of respect is amazing, given the neanderthal taunts of the opposition over the years!

The re-birth of Wor Flags was something else that got on the nerves of non Mags. While it only requires possession of a pair of functioning eyes to admire the sheer brilliance of some of the displays, apparently if you don’t support Newcastle, they’re anything from ‘pathetic’ to ’embarrassing’. Not as embarrassing as the 17 grand Tunnocks appreciation display that we were subjected to at the weekend, mind. But again, we’re in the wrong for supporting our team, especially if you believe the old opposition fan favourite that it’s all funded by the Saudis anyway, which is obviously bollocks. But why let the truth get in the way of your salty tears and another ridiculous conspiracy theory?

As well as that we’ve also invented something called ‘shithousery’. Previously known as ‘game management’ when certain other clubs did it, it’s been rebranded seemingly because we did it better. Fans of Premier League clubs have been up in arms in stadiums, online and on radio talk ins about how we’re ruining the game with our two balls on the pitch shenanigans and conveniently faked injuries. And the mention of Jason Tindall is like a red rag to a bull!

It’s been amusing to watch the sheer amount of people tearing their hair out over the last couple of years and it’s particularly hilarious to watch the complaints from the so called ‘Big 6’. They really don’t like any attempt to level the playing field, do they?

One of the funniest things I’ve read from opposition fans though, is the one about 5.30 kick offs on a Saturday night. If you haven’t heard it, you’ll love it. The conspiracy theory goes that we get given this kick off time ‘every week’ meaning that we’re on TV. And of course, the reason for that is because it’s prime time in Saudi Arabia, meaning that our legions of fans out there and more appropriately, our ownership can watch the games. This is of course because our owners are bribing Sky…

The mind boggles! No thought to the fact that it actually puts our travelling support out, just a blind belief that kicking off at 5.30 on a Saturday somehow gives us an ill gotten advantage. Once again, it’s good to see we’re at the forefront of so many people’s minds, even if literally none of it makes any sense whatsoever. God forbid that our fans sing and cheers the lads on at those games. And Heaven help anyone who brings a bloody flag!

And then we had the sheer temerity to qualify for a place in the Champions League. Again, there was outrage. The Champions League, it seems was a closed shop where only the clubs who wanted to leave it and the Premier League to form their own EuroMegaSuperDoopa league were allowed to play and make money from. A strange logic, but one that we should have accepted, apparently. Thus, the fume was very much real when poor old Liverpool could only finish in 5th and super club Spurs only just made the top 10.

And so, when the Champions League draw was made and we ended up in our ‘Group of Death’ it must’ve felt like Christmas morning in certain parts of the country! The come down after we hammered PSG on the second matchday would have really, really hurt though! Apparently, us being in the competition was futile and our place would have been much better filled by a ‘big club’. Well, it’s hard to see how any of those ‘big clubs’ other than Man City would have coped a great deal better in the group we’ve got. And the fact that we were still in with a chance of qualifying for the next stage of the competition until the last seconds of the group stage is huge and it’s the kind of thing that would have been eating away at fans of certain clubs. It’s been borne out by the reaction to us going out of the competition. It’s funny how we matter so much!

The last moan, and one of the funniest, is the one that seems to suggest that we’ve found a way to influence the PGMOL and VAR officials. It’s an idea that’s been floated more or less every time we’ve got a decision, but the home game against Arsenal caused a little bit of a stir to say the least. I won’t go too far into it, but our winning goal was checked, checked and checked again and still ruled legitimate. They even reviewed the whole thing independently a couple of days later and it was still a goal.

None of this stopped the crying though, with yet more allegations about our owners having some mysterious influence over officials. Mikel Arteta also went into meltdown not once but twice which was pretty hysterical. I must admit, this didn’t really bother me. I could kind of see the point. If that goal had been given against us, I’d have questioned it as well. I wouldn’t have blamed Arsenal’s ownership or fans though. Sadly, they’re probably still banging on about it even as I type.

So what happened next – 4 weeks on from that game and goal – was pretty funny, really. And predictable, I suppose. When we were on the the wrong end of a VAR shocker with the PSG penalty there was more vitriol, desperation and petty jealousy. The word that seemed to be most prevalent on social media was karma. Now karma is a concept I have a bit of belief in, as it goes. But the next morning, when the assistant VAR who recommended that the ref go to the screen was stood down from his next game and then UEFA clarified and updated the handball rule, it was just obvious that it had been a shocking decision against us. Less karma, more drama it seemed.

It’s been a funny old couple of years as a Toon fan. No one likes us, but as the song goes, we don’t care. This was always going to be the way. Having been bought by an organisation worth hundreds of billions, the green eyed monster was bound to surface at some point. It was probably just a bit quicker than any of us might have expected and definitely from lots of unexpected fanbases. I mean, Crystal Palace? Who knew they were such human rights activists? And let’s not get started on our friends down the road and their sudden penchant for shouting about blood on people’s hands.

For such a ‘small club’, we’ve come a long way in a very short space of time, eh?

Gallowgate Cult Heroes; Number 4 Micky Quinn

If you’re a Newcastle United fan, it’s almost certain that you’ll love a number 9. We’ve been brought up on them. For the older generation, we would have been told stories of Jackie Milburn, Hughie Gallagher and Len White. Some of us might even have been lucky enough to watch the great Supermac in the 70s. The younger generation could point to the brilliance of the likes of Cole, Ferdinand, Shearer and even Callum Wilson.

No one can argue that we’ve had a glut of quality strikers to have idolised over the years. Even when you move away from the obvious, you’ll still find some excellent strikers who’ve left their mark on Tyneside. Micky Quinn is definitely one of those names and to this day holds cult status in Newcastle.

Quinn was signed from Portsmouth at a turbulent time for the club. Arriving in July 1989 for £680,000, he was joining a fractured club. Many supporters were boycotting the club and protesting against the board of the time which was led by one of the most unpopular chairmen of my lifetime in Gordon McKeag. So while Quinn jumped at the chance to join the Toon, he certainly wasn’t popular from the off. Quinn himself famously tells a story of seeing the protests as he walked through the city and bearing witness to a banner that asked ‘Who the f**k is Mick Quinn?’

I was well aware of who he was as the kind of geeky kid who always kept track of the top scorers in every division, so Quinny’s signing excited me and was a rare piece of good news at a time when I could feel myself drifting away from the club and its under-ambitious ownership. As well as being a Bob Carolgees lookalike, Quinny was known for being a little on the larger side and in truth wasn’t the perfect physical specimen, but as he’d say later on in his career, he was the fastest you’d find over the first yard!

My cousin was part of the supporter boycott and I was torn between getting a ticket for the first game of the season or standing outside St. James’ Park like he did and trying to persuade people to stay away and put pressure on the board. Thankfully, I went in that day.

Quinny’s debut is the stuff of modern NUFC folklore. In front of just over 24,000 fans, he scored four goals in a 5-2 win against promotion favourites Leeds United. By the end of the game, no one was asking who he was anymore and Quinny quickly became a crowd favourite. Having stood watching the likes of Frank Pingel, Mirandinha and Rob Macdonald struggle to score goals in the previous season, I was thrilled that we had such a number 9 as Micky Quinn and for many others he would become a hero just based on that game alone.

Quinny scored 34 goals in that first season, cementing his place in the history of the club and also in the hearts of many a supporter of a certain age. After 4 on debut he then went on to score in each of the next 4 games and he simply kept on scoring all season. His record for that season – 34 in 53 games has him in 5th place for the most goals scored in a season at NUFC. I was 18 at the time and the partnership between Quinny and Mark McGhee that season remains one of my favourites of all time.

In his second season Quinny scored 20 goals, but the team finished 11th in the old 2nd division and the writing was on the wall for manager Ossie Ardiles. The season that followed was the now infamous and almost disastrous one that ended with Kevin Keegan coming in as manager and somehow managing to save us from the drop. Quinn scored 10 that year but was eclipsed by midfielder Gavin Peacock who got 21 and it would become obvious that the manager didn’t really fancy our cult hero.

During that amazing first season in ’89-’90 I was lucky enough to meet Micky. He was part of a group of Newcastle players who were taking part in a charity cricket match at a local cricket club in Swalwell. Me and a couple of mates went along and skulked around on the boundary, waiting to try and grab a word with our heroes. I was 17 and still very much in awe of these people who I watched week in week out.

Having managed to get an autograph from Kevin Brock, we waited and waited for Quinny and when he was fielding right by the rope we grabbed our opportunity. He signed my old green and yellow striped away top and was just a genuinely nice bloke. He’d taken a flying catch moments before and was full of himself, as you would be!

Another, rather different memory of Quinny would be from a couple of seasons later and the 91-92 season. It was away at Sunderland and the infamous Liam O’Brien over the wall game. Quinny was actually injured and on crutches at the time but I have a vivid memory of him approaching the way fans in the Roker End at the end of the game, wildly waving his crutches around and celebrating. We’d had a few crucial injuries going into the game and so the draw was actually a great result and Micky, like the whole away end, was ecstatic. He knew just what the club meant to the fans!

To those of us who followed Newcastle United around the country in the late 80s and early 90s, Mick Quinn was a legend. When he wasn’t banging in the goals he could invariably be found ‘de-stressing’ in the local nightclubs and was a big fan of the Tuxedo Princess! A lot of that side of things is detailed in his excellent autobiography ‘Who At All The Pies’, which is a must read if Quinny is a new name to you.

In all, Quinny scored 63 goals in 126 appearances for the club and always gave everything. He embraced the weight of that number 9 shirt and did it proud, starting with that incredible debut. He was eventually sold to Coventry City where he would go on to gain cult hero status with their fans too. Newcastle United moved on in style when he was sold, with Kevin Keegan bringing in Andy Cole as we gained promotion. A lot of us fans will never forget Micky Quinn though!

Gallowgate Cult Heroes; Number 2 Brian Kilcline

Signing a player who’s better known as ‘Killer’ sounds like the kind of thing you’d only experience via the pages of a 1970s comic. And in many ways, Brian ‘Killer’ Kilcline’s story would go on to feel like pure fiction.

Brian Kilcline was Kevin Keegan’s first signing in his first spell as Newcastle manager. A typical Keegan singing? No, but in many ways Killer was one of the most important signings the club ever made. He gave a team, that had previously cowered at the first scent of a problem, a spine and was one of the major reasons that the club avoided relegation in the season that he joined. Make no doubt about it, Newcastle United were in deep trouble and in grave danger of tumbling into Division 3 (League One now). Brian Kilcline was Keegan’s first port of call in order to make sure that didn’t happen.

Signed from Oldham in 1992, Kilcline was immediately made club captain. Having previously captained Coventry to an FA Cup win in 1987, he had valuable experience to add to a dressing room that was a mixture of underachieving journeymen and raw kids. Killer was 29 when he signed and was charged with the business of giving the squad a sense of belief as well as a metaphorical kick up the backside. At the time our squad included such luminaries as Ray Ranson, Mark Stimson, Peter Garland and Archie Gourlay, but previous manager, Ossie Ardiles, had put all his faith in youth and players such as Lee Clark, Steve Watson, Lee Makel and Robbie Elliot. While we were playing some pretty football, we just weren’t winning games and were sinking fast. I remember week in, week out having that sinking feeling that we couldn’t possibly survive. Then, along came Keegan and Killer!

Brian made his Newcastle debut in a 1-1 home draw against Barnsley, replacing Darren Bradshaw in the starting line up after the team were beaten 3-1 away at Blackburn. Newcastle were stuck in 22nd place in the division at this point. Seven days later, with Killer again in the side, we recorded a 0-1 away victory at Port Vale and moved up to 19th.

From there we’d go on picking up points so that by the time we’d beaten Sunderland 1-0 at home at the end of March we were sitting in 17th place and looking far more comfortable with Killer marshalling the defence.

However, 5 successive defeats followed, with Kilcline sidelined through injury for three of them and Newcastle plunged back into trouble.

Ultimately, the side did enough to stay up with successive victories against Portsmouth and Leicester and Kilcline’s place in history was already assured. Those two games will go down in club history and while the home game v Pompey will always be associated with David Kelly’s late winner, it was Killer’s defence that kept a rare clean sheet that day. Similarly, the game away at Leicester will be remembered mainly for the performances of players like Kelly, again, and Gavin Peacock, as well as a pitch invasion by home fans, but Killer’s influence that day cannot be underestimated as Newcastle held their nerve enough to get over the line in one of the most dramatic games I’ve even witnessed as a Newcastle fan. Forget winning games in the Champions League, this was like the Alamo (it was a battle, look it up, kids).

While Killer will be remembered as the man who Keegan trusted to guide the club to safety during one of the darkest periods in its history, it shouldn’t be forgotten that the very next season he captained the team to promotion. Keegan famously referred to him as “the most important signing I ever made for the club” and instantly secured Killer’s status as a true legend for Newcastle United. However, he was to start only one game for us in the Premier League and moved on to Swindon soon after. There, Killer made 10 appearances in the Premier League, but left for Mansfield Town in 1995 amid suggestions of a falling out with the Swindon manager Steve McMahon.

Later in his career Killer began to explore his more imaginative side, living for a while on a narrow boat, before spending his time travelling the world with wife Lynn once he’d retired. Nowadays, Brian lives in rural Holmfirth in Yorkshire where he spends time managing rental properties and renovating houses. In the recent past he has still turned out for Newcastle legends teams too.

Although he only spent a short amount of time on Tyneside, Killer was undoubtedly a hero for Newcastle. Not only did he help to save the club from a disastrous relegation to League 1, but he led the side to the promised land of the Premier League a year later too. In doing so he had a huge influence, not just on the future of the club itself, but also on a group of young players such as Lee Clark, Steve Watson, Robbie Elliot and Allan Nielson, players who would go on to have a bright future with the club.

Brian Kilcline; looked like a Viking, played with grit, passion and determination, led like a legend.

NUFC: Dan Ashworth and the changing face of the academy.

Some months ago, I wrote an article about the state of the Newcastle United academy. It was largely a tale of failure over the years and of neglect, particularly during Mike Ashley’s tenure, with gambling on talent released by other clubs or kids being brought in from non league to compliment the local talent. In short, the academy hadn’t been working, with only a handful of first team players of any quality emerging over the course of far too many years.

However, like Gary Barlow and his band of oiled up and oddly dressed mates once sung, ‘everything changes’ and in the case of our academy there’s now more than a hint of hope again.

So how have things changed then? Well, it would appear to be down to the masterplan of one man; Dan Ashworth, who seems driven to rebuilding our club from the bottom up. And thus, the whole approach to investment in our younger years has begun to take on a bit of a transformation.

As a fan, it’s nice to feel like there’s a plan. As someone who’s followed the club since the late 70s, ever since I was able to understand the concept of youth teams, our system has never felt like it’s the work of a professional football club and we’ve lagged behind names as wide and varied as Manchester United, Liverpool, Crewe Alexandra and even Sunderland. While others have appeared to have had some kind of conveyor belt producing first team ready players, we’ve been metaphorically hunting down the back of the sofa for small change. For every Gazza type of success, there have been dozens of young players released from the club. If anything, it’s felt like a fluke when a young player has actually come through to the first team.

Our new plan appears to be effective in its simplicity. We’re scouting the best young players in all age groups from various countries and attempting to bring them to the club. We’re investing money. I mean, you’d have imagined someone might have thought of it before now, really. Of course, it’s a wider net than just that, but it’s still simple all the same.

It’s the picture closer to home that really interests me though as it seems like we’re delving down the age groups and attempting to cherry pick the best talent from the home nations too. However, where before we seemed to be happy just to take a chance on kids who’d been released from other Premier League clubs – Charlie Wiggett, Rosaire Longelo and Remi Savage spring to mind – now we’re upping our game somewhat.

In the recent past, under Ashley, we did take the odd chance on youth. But it was never an expensive or risky gamble. The signing of Regan Thomson is a case in point as we paid £60k to Queens Park to bring the highly rated 16-year-old to St. James’ in 2020, beating Celtic and Rangers to his signature and then failed to develop his talents. Thomson was released in summer 2022 and as of June this year has been without a club having left East Kilbride back in Scotland. I must confess, I’d forgotten all about him. Similarly, Jake Turner was taken from Bolton after they’d gone into administration but didn’t make the grade here, although he is playing league football with Gillingham now.

Under Dan Ashworth’s guidance lots changed in the youth ranks. While we still have a fair number of local lads battling to follow in the footsteps of Sean Longstaff and Paul Dummett, the focus feels like it’s shifted somewhat and moved up a gear, if you like. The shift began with the signing of Garang Kuol last year, but the pace has stepped up even more since then.

This summer saw Newcastle bring in several highly rated youngsters from various domestic clubs. And we’ve started young too! Firstly, there was a compensation fee paid to Port Vale for 14-year-old midfielder Michael Mills. Then, we shelled out a reported 5 figure fee for 16-year-old striker Kacey Wooster from Southend’s academy.

After that we’ve also signed up a number of highly rated young players for the Academy and Under 21 sides, both of which have underperformed for years. England Under 17 internationals Leo Shahar from Wolves and Travon Sanusi from Birmingham have come in and seem to have made an immediate impact. On top of that we’ve also signed 17-year-old midfielder Travis Hernes from Shrewsbury, a kid who’d already made first team appearances for the League One Shrews.

But the investment in youth didn’t stop on these shores. Of course, we signed Yankuba Minteh (19) from Odense, a player who already look first team ready with his loan exploits at Feyenoord. Add to that the signing of Cathal Heffernan from AC Milan and it’s clear that we’re intent on making our youth set up far more competitive than ever.

Obviously, when investing in youth there’s never a guarantee of success. Year in, year out for instance, there seems to be a ‘highly rated’ striker in the academy set up and yet a breakthrough to the first team is rare. Even Andy Carroll had been played at left back for much of his youth career with the club. In recent years Elias Sorensen, Tom Allan and Tom Heardman were all touted for success after Carroll, but none was able to make the step up.

I’ll confess to knowing little of our new arrivals. Obviously though, Minteh looks to be a real find. I actually watched Hernes play for Shrewsbury against Leeds, but couldn’t say I noticed anything special that night. After that, I’m guessing. Experience tells me that someone with Heffernan’s background might well be a good bet for the first team in the future. And Travon Sanusi comes with a glowing reputation. As for the rest, who knows? Luckily though, the scouting network has been vastly improved in the two years since the takeover and in Dan Ashworth we have someone with a track record that we can trust.

You can be sure that the additions at youth level will continue through the season and year after year from then too. At the time we signed Heffernan there was also a lot of talk about signing his international team mate Kevin Zefi from Inter too. It didn’t come to fruition, but I’d be surprised if moves aren’t still being made. And with scouts working hard across the world, there will be other targets being constantly monitored too.

The professional approach to youth team football is a refreshing change of direction for the club. Newcastle United are now establishing themselves as an attractive proposition and you can be sure that will catch the eye of many talented youngsters who end up with their choice of clubs. With Ashworth at the helm it feels like we can rest assured that we’re now a totally viable option and that hopefully we’ll be regularly producing first team regulars from within our own ranks.

These are much needed exciting times for our academy set up. The future’s bright. The future’s black and white and it appears to be in very good hands!

Gallowgate Cult Heroes – Number 1; John Burridge.

There’s an old saying that always gets trotted out when talking about what we’ll politely call ‘journeymen’ footballers. You know the one, ‘more clubs than Jack Nicklaus’. Funny eh? See what they did there? Anyway, the first player I’m going to look at kind of sums up exactly why that old saying exists as he had more clubs than the pro shop at St. Andrews, let alone Jack Nicklaus! My first Gallowgate Cult Hero is goalkeeper John Burridge.

Universally known as ‘Budgie’, John Burridge signed for Newcastle from Southampton in July 1989, leaving almost 2 years later. To this day, he remains the only player I’ve ever turned up specifically early to watch warm up! But more of that later.

Burridge started his league career with Workington Town in 1969, when they were still a league club, before moving on to Blackpool a couple of years later. He then moved around a lot of clubs including, Aston Villa, Crystal Palace, QPR, Wolves and Sheffield United. By the time he’d signed for us he was 38 years old and had been playing for 20 years and had 10 clubs. Newcastle were in the old 2nd division or the Championship, as it’s now known and Burridge had come in alongside other new signings like Micky Quinn and Mark McGhee. Hopes were high for a possible promotion campaign.

Hopes, however, were ultimately dashed and having failed to gain automatic promotion Newcastle famously crashed out in the semi finals of the play offs to the old enemy, Sunderland. In the first leg of the semi, we played away at the old Roker Park and Burridge had his finest cult hero moments in black and white, diving down to his right to save a late Paul Hardyman penalty. But the drama didn’t end there as Hardyman then ran to where Budgie was lying, clutching the ball, and kicked him square in the head! He was immediately sent off, but Budgie was rightly raging!

Despite skiving school and standing in a very early morning queue, I remember that I couldn’t get tickets for that away leg – you see, ticketing isn’t just a modern day problem! However, we managed to get tickets for a beam back of the game at Whitley Bay Ice Rink of all places. In the hysteria following Budgie’s save, I missed the kick in the head entirely and remember just being delighted at the sending off, but completely in the dark as to why Budgie looked like he wanted to kill someone!

Burridge was a maker of spectacular saves, starting with one in the first minute of his debut against Reading when flew across the goal to tip an early header over the bar. So, a good shot stopper in today’s language. He possessed a confidence like no Newcastle goalkeeper I’d seen before too. But with that confidence came many rushes of blood to the head and while Burridge was a keeper who liked to command his area, there were a few terrible errors in there too.

As I said earlier, I quite liked getting to home games early in Burridge’s time, just to watch his warm ups. I was 17 at the time and had never witnessed anything like it! Burridge, who described himself as “a clean living lad” was a big advocate of being in the best condition, fitness wise. If I remember rightly he practised yoga, which was something I hadn’t even heard of in those days! But his warm ups were something else. While others would just be pinging footballs around the place, Budgie would be like a contortionist, stretching himself into ever more painful looking positions, before walking on his hands, one armed push ups or doing something that just looked like he was dancing really, rather than warming up. Follow the link below and you’ll see what I mean. It’s from his Palace days, but he was still warming up in a similar fashion when he played for us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRulE9858eE

Speaking about his fitness and what was needed to play in goal, he once told a reporter, “You’re not a football player, you’re a handball gymnast”. He was a specialist goalkeeping coach at the time and was still making occasional appearances on the bench, despite being 43 by this time.

Another Budgie tale that sticks out for me was when the Toon visited Elland Road to play Leeds in that heartbreaking ’89-’90 season. Leeds would eventually go on to take the title, but we’d beaten them 5-2 on the opening game of the season, so the home team were determined to flex their muscles that day. To that end, as the Toon players walked into Elland Road legend has it that they were greeted by the sight and sound of Vinnie Jones screaming and bench pressing in a weird attempt to intimidate our boys. Budgie’s response was to add 10 kilos to each side of the weights and quickly do ten reps, before telling Jones, “That’s how you do it

By the time Kevin Keegan arrived as manager in 1992 Burridge had departed, heading to Scotland to play for Hibs. He briefly rejoined the club in 1994 as a back up keeper and goalkeeping coach, but despite declaring his loyalty to Keegan in typical Budgie fashion – “I would give the guy my eyes!” – he was soon on the move again.

In all, Burridge had 29 clubs, 19 of which were in the football league. He continued to be a colourful character wherever he went and still holds the record for being the oldest Premier League player of all time. He was 43 years and 162 days old when he played for Manchester City against QPR in May 1995. If my memory serves me rightly, he even played against us in that same season and had an absolute blinder, keeping a clean sheet. Later, whilst player manager of Blyth Spartans Budgie was convicted and fined for selling fake leisure wear and just last year, aged 70, he played in a friendly for Hibs. He even claimed not to be retired in a recent interview.

Perhaps the best Burridge story that I could find though, was the one where Budgie played a whole game for Wolves in a Superman outfit against us in the ’82-’83 season, after making a £100 bet with Kevin Keegan that he’d do it.

Clearly, Budgie was a one off and the type of character that has drifted out of the game in recent years, but it was always a pleasure to watch him play for Newcastle United!

Isaac Hayden; where did it all go wrong?

So Isaac Hayden has left the club for Standard Liege of all places. And while it might only be on loan for the season, it’s clear that his future lies elsewhere and that you possibly wouldn’t expect to see him in the black and white stripes again, even though his contract runs all the way through until June 2026.

Hayden joined Newcastle from Arsenal in July 2016 having spent the previous season on loan at Hull City in the Championship. His experience in the division would prove key to a newly relegated Newcastle team, who at the time were losing quite a few stars who weren’t so keen to drop down a division after we were relegated. He signed a five year contract and quickly became a favourite of both the fans and Rafa himself, who Hayden told one interviewer would wait for him in the car park in order to impart more advice on his game!

Isaac established himself as a defensive midfielder who wasn’t shy in the tackle, was physical, athletic, hard working but also had an eye for a pass. At a time when we were losing considerable talent in the midfield department with players such as Moussa Sisoko and Andros Townsend departing, Hayden felt like a bit of a godsend. As an established England Under 21 player and at a bargain £1.5m, it looked like Rafa had unearthed a gem!

Benitez flagged up Hayden as a player with real potential when he signed for the club and in that Championship winning season, he was a key performer. Making 38 appearances and scoring 2 goals, including a beauty away at Cardiff, Hayden had a strong first season, showing himself to be a leader in the team. In fact, he would make himself at home at the club over the next few years, despite some problems settling at first. It was to his credit though, he knuckled down and stayed and it was this type of determination that made him a bit of a fan favourite.

When Rafa left in 2019 and we ended up with Steve Bruce, even that wasn’t enough to force Hayden to leave! In fact, as he’d played under Bruce at Hull, Hayden continued to improve. In 2020 there would be another Toon highlight for Isaac when he scored a late winner with a header against Chelsea at the Gallowgate end; cue crazy scenes of unbridled joy around the ground!

By 2021 though, Isaac had picked up a serious injury and his Newcastle career wouldn’t ever be the same. When he wasn’t named in the Premier League squad for the second half of the 21/22 season, things looked pretty bleak. Consequently, in June 2022 Isaac joined Norwich on a season long loan, but injuries continued to dog his progress and he only managed 12 appearances.

For me, Hayden represents a bit of a puzzle. I rate him as a player and always enjoyed watching him play in black and white. I genuinely thought he had enough class to continue in the Premier League, but he never quite made his mark.

However, given his athleticism, intelligence and strength I’ve wondered if, given a break, he could have been a classic case of a player that was ripe for what we might refer to as a proper ‘Howeing’. If you look at what Eddie has done with players like Joelinton and Sean Longstaff, you could be forgiven for thinking that Hayden could have been another who would have benefitted from Howe’s coaching. Then again, perhaps Big Joe and Longstaff’s gains have just come at the expense of players like Isaac Hayden. And of course, there’s also the matter of fitness, which Hayden has struggled with for the past couple of seasons.

Furthermore, when you look at the standard of our midfield these days, it’s just very clear that we’ve moved on. So while Hayden was a player that many liked, I suppose we have to ask whether he’d get into our team, having been Howed or not. The short answer is probably no and exactly why he’s on the move. As good as Hayden was on his day, was he a Bruno, Longstaff, Tonali, Joelinton? Again, no and with younger players such as Anderson and Miley coming through, I guess it’s clear to see that Isaac Hayden just couldn’t stay.

Whatever has happened at Newcastle for Isaac Hayden, I think it’s a bit of a shame. However, as we all know only too well, this is a very different Newcastle United to the one that he joined back in 2016 and so there were always going to be casualties of such immense change.

Now 28, Hayden moves to Liege no longer a young player with potential. With almost 200 career appearances, the Belgians are getting an experienced player who could make a real difference to their season if he can stay fit. Let’s hope it works out for him.

Good luck for the rest of the season, Isaac.

‘We Are Newcastle United’; Episode 4 Where Our Lads Belong.

So, after a month worth of episodes, we get to the finale of ‘We Are Newcastle United’. And while we kind of know what happens – it was just last season and the Adidas deal got ‘leaked’ just the other week – it turns out that it’s still well worth a watch.

This one begins with archive footage of that Barcelona game from the Champions League and Tino’s hat-trick, which is timely given the recent Champions League draw. It’s obviously fantastic to watch back, but what occurred to me while I sat watching was what we beat Barca with. So, sure there was Tino, but alongside were the likes of John Dahl Tommason, Temuri Ketsbaia and a 44-year-old John Barnes. OK, that bit’s an exaggeration, but we also had Kenny Dalglish as manager, the bloke responsible for some of the most mind-numbing football I’ve ever watched. Given those facts, maybe our group this year isn’t that ‘deathly’ after all.

As preparations are made for another game, we find ourselves in the posh seats watching the build up to dinner time. As NUFC scran’s version of Eddie Howe reads out the menu, a waitress confesses that she doesn’t know what gazpacho is. Expecting the announcement of a new signing and possible even another twist in the Santiago Munez/Goal saga I shuffled to the edge of my seat only to be deflated almost instantly by the revelation that it is in fact just “cold soup”. Talk about an anti-climax.

Watching the Southampton game again was a strange experience and I sat there feeling just as sick as I did at the time, even though I knew the ending! Amanda Staveley features here too and reveals herself again to be very much a fan, whatever you might think about the PR side of this series. She’s up and down in her seat like a jack-in-the-box and as we watch her at half time it seems she’s just like loads of us are while watching football. But she genuinely doesn’t know whether to watch the second half, feeling that she’ll jinx it, which is certainly akin to my own myriad of superstitions like half time toilet visits, lucky pants, lucky stones (don’t ask) and making sure that I follow the same routine in the build up to any game. Unlike me though, the minute she returns to the inside of the stadium, we score.

Later, we’re treated to another Zoom meeting of the club’s power brokers and not for the first time, it strikes me that the way they all speak feels like the exact antithesis of how it probably used to be. Their knowledge and passion seems clear, whereas a documentary a few seasons ago would have surely just shown Lee Charnley talking through a list of under 23 cast offs we’d taken on trial from other clubs while Mike Ashley sits swigging another can of Carling and picking Doritos crumbs off the front of his latest already grubby George at Asda white shirt. So, if nothing else, the documentary has served as an insight into just how professional the club is these days.

Tonight’s episode is particularly heartwarming with scenes of both Amanda Staveley and Eddie Howe with their kids and Dan Burn paying a visit to his home town and local football club for a Q&A with the youngsters there. All are shown as intense, driven, honest, but also good humoured and fun loving and come across really well. Kieran Trippier also features and when he talks you listen. Again, he’s intense, but what struck me about all four here was how calmly yet passionately they spoke about the club.

And then we’re taken on the journey that we’d all been waiting for. Staveley, Ghoudoussi, Eales et al are off on a seemingly top secret mission and if the broadcaster hadn’t have messed this up a few weeks ago, you can only imagine the excitement at the big reveal. As it is, I’ve decided I’d quite like to work at Adidas HQ, despite the disappointment that their ‘World of Sport’ showed absolutely no sign of Dickie Davies or Big Daddy. But did you see the place? Incredible!

Mind you, despite sealing the biggest deal in the club’s history, I thought the board missed a trick. Now I’m no graduate of Harvard Business School, but I reckon if they’d all turned up clad head to toe in all manner of Adidas clobber and looking like Run DMC, they could well have squeezed a bit more money out of the deal. With that in mind, if anyone at Adidas – purveyors of the coolest trainers on the planet – or NUFC reads this, I’m available for hire. Or a free pair of trainers.

The series closes as we knew it would; with a happy ending. In the midst of it all there’s a shock as Amanda Staveley swears…then cries. Eddie Howe is as humble as ever. And fans and players enjoy one of the greatest nights in the club’s recent history. The message from all is clear: We are Newcastle United…and we might just have a few more happy endings planned too!

In almost closing myself , I do have a few daft observations about tonight’s episode and the series in general.

Tonight, the voiceover has one fan telling us, “We will name our kids after these people”. Now, given my age that won’t be very likely. However, I’m hoping that my future grandchildren Joelinton, Wor Yasir, The Stave, Tripps and Big Dan Burn will take to their names like the champions I expect them to be and won’t get bullied at school.
It was great to see Joe Willock lose himself in the euphoria of the Leicester City game and sing ‘Tell me ma, me ma’ like a fan, but I think he failed his X Factor audition.
Could someone get Dan Ashworth a bigger chair, please?

4. As good as this series was, it would have been even better with 100% more Jacob Murphy.

I’ve enjoyed ‘We Are Newcastle United’ immensely. PR exercise or not, I’ve loved watching it and was glad that we never looked stupid or small time. It’s been reassuring to see how well the club seems to be run and that everyone involved cares. And it’s all been captured very well. At the end we were told that “Something exciting is going to happen”. I hope so, I really hope so!

‘We Are Newcastle United’; Episode 3 Changing The Toon

I must admit to a tiny bit of a crisis of confidence before writing this latest article. I mean, who wants to read my ramblings about a programme they’ve inevitably already watched? But then I remembered that there are shed loads of grown adults out there who video themselves watching live football, swearing their heads off and acting like babies for all the world to see. So with so little to lose, I wrote the article!

If ever there was a collection of images that sums up the change in Newcastle United since October 2021 it’s there for all to see in episode 3. Granted, one side of the images isn’t here, but is undoubtedly etched in the mind of all of us. I talk of course of the players taking ice baths in wheelie bins and paddling pools during Mike Ashley’s reign. In this episode though we see the enormous changes in recovery technology brought to Newcastle by the new regime with a glimpse of the new hydro therapy pool. The difference is massive and the progress is there for all to see. Professional athletes being treated like professional athletes; who knew that this might help?

Later in the episode, while visiting Atlanta ahead of the Premier League Summer Series, Darren Eales refers to Newcastle as ‘a 130 year old start up’ creating a stark image of what the new owners must have found when they first arrived. Graeme Robson of Wor Flags later talks candidly about the fact that the new money can’t be ignored, but really all we wanted was for the club to be run properly. Not very convenient for the narrative touted by a lot of the media, but the truth all the same and a truth that ‘We Are Newcastle United’ needed to convey.

In this episode the players and the fans move more into focus. We start with Alexander Isak’s brace against Forest away and are reminded of the karate kick finish for the first. A hell of a goal and a hell of a start to what I must say has been my favourite episode so far.

As we move on to the build up to the home game against Manchester United it’s hugely positive. For me, the insight into the small touches by Eddie Howe are really interesting. Just things like greeting every player as they arrive at the training ground – ‘How’s that knee, Joe?’ – and then the enthusiasm on the training pitch and the encouragement – ‘Yes Cal…love that Callum’ are just lovely. I’m not naïve enough to think it’s anything special either, but you get the feeling that this is relentless from Howe and his staff. I, for one, would thrive hearing that type of thing every day.

Later in the show, when asked about the Carabao Cup Final defeat, Eddie tells the interviewer that ‘Any defeat you have is always in there, somewhere.’ Again, it’s the attention to detail and the steely determination that we all love, especially when defeats under the last regime were greeted with unwanted days off for the players and impromptu holidays for the manager. Not every time – no one can afford that many holidays – but enough so that every time that Eddie speaks you admire him just a little bit more. Although after a while, I’d have to tell him that my name’s not actually Callum…

Next there’s a focus on the lads and lasses at Wor Flags with an insight into their work and the preparation that went into the huge surfer flag that covered the bottom tier of the Leazes. Firstly, this serves to show the dedication of the fans – from those that donate money to make it all possible to the volunteers who put everything in place and organise the whole thing. Secondly though, it confirms that I’d be absolutely no use to them. While they’re unfolding, hauling and precisely positioning flags that cover almost an entire stand and weigh half a tonne, I still have to have my wife guide me through the folding up of a picnic blanket. I guess there are levels to this kind of thing, but it serves to illustrate the passion and dedication that is felt around Newcastle United.

As episode 3 rolls on to the Manchester United match, it’s hard to imagine the stadium looking any better and while some of the camera work is very much reminiscent of shows like The Apprentice, it’s very much appreciated. St. James’ Park is always an impressive sight and a thing of beauty but the documentary really celebrates the place here. The surfer flag looks incredible, but Wor Flags member Graeme’s excitement and pride is arguably even better.

This was by far the most emotional episode so far for me personally. I know lots of people said that the cup final footage brought them to tears, but not me. However, seeing the scenes in the dressing room both before the Manchester United game and at half time almost makes me crack.

Callum Wilson’s story later on, adds to the raw emotion and gives us an intriguing insight into not just the player, but the man and what makes him tick. The smile is infectious and instant, almost making it hard to imagine what he has gone through to get to this stage. But then key words like ‘turmoil’ and ‘adversity’ dominate during the visit to his old school and for me it serves to show that Callum Wilson found not just a football club, but a home when he joined Newcastle United. Wilson has played a massive part in its upturn, yet even in these more positive times he’s quick to flag up the importance of hunger and anger in achieving his goals. And I think it’s quite a neat parallel to the anger and determination of the fans in almost forcing change a couple of years ago.

And then, alongside some beautiful sweeping shots of the stadium and the odd bridge, we hear from some of the fans about the importance of Newcastle United. Again, there’s a big contrast here. Firstly, a Hindu fan speaks beautifully about the club being ‘the great equaliser in the city’ and how, when the time comes, he wants to be reincarnated as a Newcastle fan. Then we hear from 4 primary age kids, perched on a wall and one of them reflects about his sadness at the season ending soon, but that ‘summer’ll be good…wi’ hot tubs and that’. I’d like to think that they both speak for us all in their own way!

Speaking of speaking for us all, I’m sure I’ll be doing just that when I say that Anthony Gordon’s enquiries about pillows had us all on the edge of our seats. After already packing in quite a bit of drama, Gordon’s sleepy time enquiries promise to ramp it up another notch. Pillowgate turns out to be a bit of a let down though, with no one bar Anthony himself giving a shit. Even Nick Pope’s revelation that he sleeps with a pillow between his legs falls strangely flat. Still, if anyone was ever curious about how many pillows the likes of Gordon and Tripps sleep with, they got their answer.

At the end of the episode we get to re-live the remarkable events of the Spurs game. An extraordinary performance that will live long in the memory of every fan. As the goals flow and a rival is thoroughly humiliated the voiceover states, ‘What a time to be a Newcastle United fan’. I’ll drink to that and look forward to episode 4, but before I do, I have a question.

Has anybody else noticed the woman in the opening credits – and she’s there at the Spurs game too – arms aloft in celebration just shouting ‘No…no’? See, some of us are so wrapped up in the joy of this club that we forget how to celebrate. Newcastle United, that.

‘We Are Newcastle United’; Episode 2 Tell me ma, me ma.

I know that lots will view this programme as mere PR – and they’d have a case too -but I for one, am thoroughly enjoying it. Thus, from the moment the ever engaging Amanda Staveley states that “the city is just alive” I’m invested in episode 2. Call me simple, but I just love watching things I love on the telly!

Episode 2 covers the awkward subject of the Carabao Cup final; its build up and the actual game itself. And while I understand that the focus of the show is on the boardroom – or Alnwick Castle as it’s known in these circles – I think the episode suffered a little bit by not covering slightly more in terms of the fans here. Surely there were more stories to be told given the length of time between out last and latest appearances at Wembley? But perhaps I’m being hyper critical because actually, I think the story that was told, was told very well.

From the moment a Toon fan expertly catapults the wire attached to the giant Newcastle top over the shoulder of the Angel of The North, we’re getting a flavour of what this all means. No other fans mess about with Antony Gormley’s statues in the way that we do! In between various Geordies telling us of their excitement there are sections of board meetings and it displays just how tirelessly Staveley and the gang are working to take the club forward. It made me laugh when Peter Silverstone said that they’ve contacted 1193 companies in their pursuit of a shirt sponsor as I’m guessing that Lee Charnley was working at slightly different levels when he got Fun88 to part with a few million.

As a seasoned telly watcher, I also think that I may have uncovered how the series ends. The key is in Amanda Staveley referring to literally everyone as ‘my angel’. With this in mind, I’m now wondering if the last one will end a la Spartacus, with first Callum Wilson, then Eddie Howe, Miggy, Bruno, the tea lady, several of the ball boys and girls and all of Wor Flags claiming “No, I’m Amanda’s angel” before finally everyone agrees that in actual fact it’s Bruno’s dad that’s Amanda’s angel…and everybody else’s by the looks of things in this episode. Sorry, if that becomes a spoiler, by the way.

Suddenly though, it’s cup final day and we hear what it means to the local lads in the squad. Dan Burn tells us about going to games and worshipping Shearer – I’m Alan’s angel, by the way Dan – before making an impassioned dressing room speech, but it’s not that that impressed me. No, I was more impressed by the slow-mo shot of Big Dan rising to make a defensive header in training, which only needed a bit of David Attenborough over the top of it in order to be awarded a Bafta, in my opinion. I’m not ashamed to say it, but I think it made me fall a little bit in love with Blyth’s finest.

Other highlights included the old lad in the pub who told his mate, “Peter, if it’s 1-0…I wouldn’t be able to to do anything. I’d be pissed out me brains!” I think it summed it up for a lot of us who simply can’t put into words how much some success would mean. Get that lad a statue, I say!

Episode 2 also gave mackems the first chance to play their inevitable game of ‘FTM Bingo’ with one Newcastle fan referring to the Geordie Nation and then some Sam Fender played underneath a section of the show at one point. Still not enough for them to get a line, let alone a full house though, so no doubt they’ll be sat there with their dobbers in hand, salivating again next week…some might say as usual!

Watching the footage of the Carabao Cup final didn’t feel emotional for me and I know that from social media some people have said that they shed a few tears. Sure, it was a tough watch to see various faces going through the emotions and people like Dan Burn just gazing forlornly into the crowd at the end. For me though I thought that the show covered it well and in fact, it just made me think that those lads will remember that feeling, as we all will and we’ll be better next time. And there will be a next time.

After that we were back with the big guns on the board, with Peter Silverstone taking us into the commercial department, which was illuminating about the state the club had been left in. The revelation that we only have about 40 staff charged with bringing in commercial income whereby a club like Arsenal have around 150 is the kind of detail that us ordinary fans probably never think about, but it illustrates perfectly the amount of catching up the club have got to do.

And then we were privvy to a Zoom call where catching up was the whole agenda with the announcement of the Sela deal and the fact that we were finally earning more than just enough to cover Mike Ashley’s crisp budget from our front of shirt sponsor.

The episode ended on a happy note with the victory over Wolves and the season getting back on track. I have a feeling that Miggy was Amanda Staveley’s special angel that day.

So, now we’re set up for episode 3 and an incredible upturn in results and performances, as well as the emergence of Eddie Howe channeling Rab C Nesbitt and swearing like a trooper. It’s safe to say I’m really enjoying the show and actually, even though fans or players aren’t really the stars here, it’s an interesting take on the club. There’s still not enough Jacob Murphy, mind you…

NUFC: ‘We Are Newcastle United’ Episode 1 Howay The Revolution.

From the moment of hearing the first whispers of an Amazon documentary about Newcastle United, I was worried. As a hugely superstitious football fan I couldn’t see anything but trouble. I had no wish for the drama that has always had a habit of following Newcastle United around to be broadcast to millions. However, with our neighbours down the road seemingly cornering the market in cringeworthy football telly, perhaps there was some hope after all. And of course, this is a very different Newcastle United nowadays.

So it was that I sat down in front of ‘We Are Newcastle United’ feeling pretty optimistic, really. I mean, it helps when you know the ending, I suppose, but I was genuinely looking forward to it. So much so, that I thought I’d do a little bit of a review.

Obviously as a Toon fan, I was always going to feel positive about this. The takeover, multiple excellent signings, Wor Flags, Eddie Howe and Jason Tindall and a modicum of success…this was set to be a good watch. And so it proved, with footage of the takeover, signings, Wor Flags, you see where this is going… Wonderful stuff.

The focus of the episode (and it seems the series) was very much the board, while the team, the club, the fans and the community around it would all have a starring role somewhat organically. Hearing Amanda Staveley’s views within the first few minutes made for a heartwarming start. Her talk of falling in love with the club and that spine tingling feeling of being around St. James’ Park very much echoes how we feel as fans and while I understand that this could easily be viewed as simple soundbites aimed at currying favour with the fans, it just didn’t come across that way.

Amanda Staveley comes across as warm, passionate and genuine. The kind of person you’d want looking after something you’ve cherished for years, really. In fact, it felt that way with everyone involved, from Staveley, Yassir Al Rumayyan, through Mehrdad Ghodoussi, Jamie Rueben and even people like Darren Eales. This seems to be an ownership where everyone buys in, everyone supports.

For the rest of the 55 minutes of the episode, Staveley came across as a natural for the job and one of the stars of the show. Knowledgeable, smart, eloquent and sharp as a tack, I for one was left in no doubt about her authenticity and she was a pleasure to watch. And while it would be easy to get carried away by lingering shots of the stadium, the bridges and the flags, that wasn’t the case for me. The passion and authenticity of the owners was there for all to see, with the footage of the fab four – Mehrdad, Amanda, Yassir and Jamie – at the Liverpool game, particularly intriguing. Fans, that’s what I saw. No one mugging for the camera, just supporters bitterly disappointed at the result.

So what else caught my eye and made episode 1 worth a watch? Well, firstly there was Eddie Howe; always focused, always understated and telling the camera that “We’ve achieved nothing, yet” which is both factually correct, if you’re looking for trophies and the like, as well as being the kind of pragmatic, determined approach we’ve come to expect. Certainly, when compared to his predecessor’s ‘ticking over’ approach, Eddie makes for cracking viewing. And of course, we’ve yet to see his sweary Mary side!

The there was the trip to Riyadh and the chairman inviting 100 people over to his house! We’d have had to do that in stages and probably over two or three nights! I might have had to rescue the gazebo from the shed and wrestle that back up as well! It seems that the club have come a long way since the days of Money Mike taking advantage of 2 for 1 pizza offers in local restaurants. His Excellency must have one hell of a semi-detached, mind!

I enjoyed the mini focus on Sean Longstaff as well and of course it was spine tingling to replay the night of the Carabao Cup semi final second leg again. But I think Longstaff came across really well and it was obviously a smart move for the programme to have a ‘local lad made good’ angle. But given what the lad has been through over the last few years, when it looked to be only a matter of time before he left and faded away as another tale of what might have been, this was a heartwarming aspect of the first episode. He paints a mean birdhouse as well and we’d have never known about that without Amazon!

It was great to relive Anthony Gordon’s signing too. A player that I personally have a shedload of belief in. But of course, footage of his signing also brought his one man polo neck tribute to Kraftwerk back into the light too and I for one could never get enough of that.

The episode ended with the sheer raw emotion of the cup semi final win; lots of elated fans, emotional players and Jamie Reuben proving that an expensive private education doesn’t always make you the most eloquent bloke in the taxi. How did he feel on the way to the match? “Nervous, nervous, nervous…nervous” apparently. I shouldn’t laugh because God knows what I’d be like in front of a camera!

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode of ‘We Are Newcastle United’. Of course I did. But bias aside, I thought it was a great watch that portrayed the club and the city really favourably. Yes, it was a little bit slick and stylised at times and maybe not the usual gritty football documentary, but no one’s gone all Charlie Methven or Alan Partridge on us…yet. I’m very much looking forward to the next one.

What do I hope to see in the coming episodes? More Jacob Murphy, naturally, maybe Matt Ritchie making a bug hotel out of broken corner flags with some local young offenders and if possible Adam P calling Chris Wood a ‘big divvy’ when he doesn’t sign his programme.

Star Rating? 5 stars, obviously! A must for all Newcastle fans but a decent watch for football fans everywhere, in my opinion.