Gallowgate Cult Heroes number 25: Robert Lee

Were it not for Kevin Keegan’s powers of persuasion and this players lack of geographical knowledge, we may have lost out on our latest Gallowgate Cult Hero to Middlesborough. Thankfully, Newcastle Airport somehow made us closer to London than Teeside was and Robert Lee signed on the dotted line.

Lee was signed from Charlton Athletic for £700,000 in September 1992. An athletic and powerful right sided midfielder he would go on to become a Toon legend and develop into an excellent central midfielder. At the time that he signed Keegan told him that he’d make him an England international. And while this came true, it was as much down to Lee’s ability and the sheer amount of graft that he’d get through as anything Keegan did. Keegan – as he did with almost every player around that time – inspired belief, but the ability was all Lee.

Rob would stay at Newcastle for 10 years, thriving under Keegan and Dalglish, becoming one of Bobby Robson’s trusted ‘blue chip boys’ and surviving the politics and petty point scoring of the Gullit era.

There are enough Rob Lee ‘moments’ to fill a book, but I thought I’d pick out a few favourites, which I’m sure lots of us all share.

The first would be his disallowed goal against Brentford in the ’92/’93 season. But this wasn’t any old disallowed goal; this was one from about 60 yards out. Lee chested the ball down and lobbed the Brentford keeper at the Leazes end from well inside his own half. Cue, pandemonium in the stands. But wait. As Lee had struck the ball the ref was busy awarding Newcastle a free kick for a Brentford offside. I mean, he couldn’t possibly have just played the advantage with the home team attacking, could he? The ‘goal’ will go down as one of the strangest decisions any of us will ever see and Rob was fuming. Asked about it some years later he said, “It was the worst decision I’ve ever seen.” Me too Rob, me too.

The next moment would be one of his finest in black and white and probably one of the fondest memories any of us older supporters have. That header in the 2000 semi final against Chelsea. Not only was it a cracking goal, it also broke a bit of a hoodoo. Newcastle hadn’t scored at Wembley in the cup finals of ’98 and ’99. It felt like we never would as well, given the passive nature of both performances. At the time, I’d just moved to Leeds. I couldn’t get a ticket for the game and we didn’t have Sky, leaving me going to a Leeds pub to watch the game until a kindly new neighbour invited me across to watch it on his telly. At 1-0 I was despondent, resigned to our fate once more. Then on 66 minutes, when Shearer got the ball on the right side of their box I was up on my feet shouting for him to cross it. As he beat the fullback I was screaming at the telly and when Rob Lee met it with a peach of a header I was mid air, arms aloft in my new neighbour’s front room, swearing like a trooper and losing my mind. My neighbour had known me for a matter of hours but thankfully he didn’t ask me to leave and we became firm friends. Bobby Lee’s header still gives me goosebumps all these years later!

Sticking with the heading theme, Rob Lee also probably provided many of us with one of our favourite European memories too. In 1994 Newcastle had qualified for the UEFA Cup and had a first round away leg against Royal Antwerp. I was fresh out of university and frankly, penniless. There would be no going away for me. It wasn’t on the telly either so I found myself sat in my mate’s bedroom listening to the game on a crackly FM radio. We were both nervous. European football was something we had very little experience of so we certainly didn’t expect to roll into Antwerp and hammer them. But hammer them we did and Rob Lee came up with a hat trick of headers and another fine performance. As goal after goal went in in that first leg I remember feeling completely delirious, like this couldn’t possible be real. It’s fair to say that the LCL Pils tasted like nectar that night! While watching the video of the game writing this I was struck by the quality in that side. Lee himself, Beardsley, Ruel Fox, Scott Sellars, Andy Cole and even a young Steve Watson dancing through in the latter stages to score a brilliant fifth.

In reality Robert Lee was so much more than a Cult Hero. A club legend, an adopted Geordie and a player inducted into the Newcastle United Hall of Fame as well. Lee was someone who was central to some of my most enjoyable times watching Newcastle United and I’m sure this applies to many more of us too. Rob Lee was a genuine pleasure to watch.

Teaching: Here comes The Fear…

It’s started. After almost 6 weeks of a summer holiday, this English teacher is already getting ‘The Fear’. Even though September sees me begin my 27th year of teaching, going back never gets any easier. ‘The Fear’ is always there, whether it’s simple Sunday afternoon fear or the end of a break fear.

I’m not back until Tuesday – hallelujah for the Bank Holiday – and yet I woke up on Saturday right out of a ‘going back nightmare’. I’d love to say that I sat bolt upright in bed and let out a scream, like I was in some wacky Hollywood comedy, but I didn’t. Instead, I opened my eyes to the usual middle aged joint pain followed by a terrible realisation about the nightmare I’d been having. As with any morning I also let out a few whispered expletives, all of them featuring the ‘f’ word.

Teaching nightmares are par for the course when you’re about to head back to it. Last night’s was really quite bizarre and not the usual ‘they’re not listening’ type of thing. Instead, I’d been assigned to a desert school on some sort of compound. There were kids everywhere and also scorpions and snakes; lots of snakes. I’m not even that sure you get too many snakes in the desert. But this was never going to be true to life, brought on as it was by the anxiety of going back to work.

The snakes weren’t the worst of it though. King Charles and our previous queen, Elizabeth II, were my teaching assistants and boy did old Liz have a sailor’s mouth on her! Furthermore, when I went to the toilet – outside, of course, – every time I went to wee it set off a nearby sprinkler which gave me wet shoes and trousers. Not a look to take back to your classroom!

All this because it’s time to go back to work. But, of course, fellow teachers and those who work in education will know all about ‘The Fear’.

‘The Fear’ will no doubt continue even when I go back because on Tuesday we have the dreaded inset day where everyone and their mum’s that’s associated with any trust schools turn up to share a day of learning. It’s easily my worst day of the year, every year. I remember times when we just went back and more or less got the day to ourselves to get prepared. Common sense, right? One year, I sat working and completely forgot that I should have been in the hall listening to results feedback. When I realised I set off to the hall but swiftly turned around when I thought about how stupid I’d look and how dull it would be. No one said a thing.

At a previous school the CEO of the whole trust used to give a speech at the start of each day. These were inevitably, and for all the wrong reasons, the funniest thing I’d hear all year too. In my first year there he told us about the trust’s ‘no dickheads’ policy. I cannot, dear reader, underestimate the irony in said policy not least because they employed me, but mainly because of this particular CEO. Then, the next year he tried to convince us all that he’d been a ‘bad boy’ at school and that as a result he was indeed a local success story. Suffice to say that I’m still awaiting the medal I deserved for keeping a straight face that day.

Nowadays schools do stuff like get you to attend little seminars in the morning before you then spend the afternoon all together listening to far too many people attempt to bore you to sleep. Or something like that. So it might be anything from classroom management tips or a foot fungus clinic right through to some bright young thing trying to bring back class pets or just Abba pilates – and that’s just me throwing two words together to make a thing, but someone somewhere is thinking about which member of Abba they’d be. Honestly, it’s a nightmare. And then after the inevitably disappointing lunch suddenly someone’s bounding on stage to inspire you for the last few hours of the day. I don’t want to sound ungrateful – although I clearly am – but you know what would inspire me? An early finish or a day in my classroom.

Ah yes, my classroom. More fear. Our school has been renovating our corridor over summer. And I’ve been here before. In education it feels like nothing ever gets finished on time, so I’m preparing myself to not be too perturbed when I walk in and my classroom has no floor or something. All of my stuff is either in other classrooms or in long term storage and I am genuinely envisaging walking into my room to find absolutely nothing there! I’ve spent years coveting bloody glue sticks as well, so if they’re lost then I fear I’ll turn into Michael Douglas in Falling Down!

So, as well as worrying about whether I can still actually teach, I’m also worried about whether my classroom has all its walls, if I have a desk or even if it’s just a case of all my stuff has been brought back and dumped. I mean half a day to get everything put back in the right place is going to be quite the challenge.

As we all know though, within a couple of weeks these pre-term worries will be old news as learners have a funny little way of disrupting everything you’ve put in place with just a few words or actions. So what will be the new ‘6 7’? I mean it’ll have to go some to beat that particular work of genius. And will every student in every class still have their minds blown because I’ve had either a shave or a haircut? I wouldn’t care but it’s the same haircut every time and still it’s “Fresh trim, sir?” or even more strangely, “Who’s your barber, sir?” like they might just know him. And now, because of course young people invented hair cuts, I even get some asking if they could cut my hair! Who knew that barbering could become such an aspiration as well as yet another way to disrupt a lesson?

Whatever your role, wherever your school and whatever your cohort looks like’The Fear’ takes many forms and if you’re in education you’ll no doubt have lots of your own. One thing’s for sure though; however many nightmares you have and however cringeworthy your inset day might get, the first day of another new academic year is right around the corner. Cheer up though, it’ll soon be Christmas…

Always look on the bright side; 5 things that made me smile in July.

It’s that time again. The bit of my blog where I attempt to cheer people up, make them smile a bit, brighten their day or whatever else this series might be capable of. Usually, I reckon it’s only around a dozen people, but this monthly piece still does the same thing for me – makes me smile and reminds of just how much good is going on around me, in amongst all of the absolute rubbish in the world. So what was doing the trick in the last month?

Reaching the end of summer term. I love my job for any number of reasons. From working with vulnerable kids to standing at the front of my classroom and frankly, showing off. One day I might help someone crack a problem they’ve been having with reading or writing and on another I might just be glad to see them leave my room! The best thing about my job though, if I’m being brutally honest, has to be the summers. Every year, without fail, we get to just beyond the halfway point of July and I get to take the next 6 weeks off. I cannot stress enough how absolutely sensational it is to wake up every morning during that time knowing that I don’t need to go to work. So, no matter how hard a year I’ve had – and I’ve always worked in somewhat challenging schools – I know that there will come a time when, whatever is on my mind, work is not even in the picture!

Detectorists overwhelmed. This was the story of the metal detectorist Peter Hughes who spent the last 21 years gradually discovering more and more ‘treasure’ from a shipwreck on Margam beach in Wales. The coins date back to 1583 and the wreck of a ship returning from Spain with payment for grain that had gone the other way. Peter had visited the beach over 1000 times over the last two decades, regularly finding nothing at all. However, in that time he’s also unearthed well over 800 gold and silver coins from the wreck, as well as several other ship related items. The treasure haul has now gone on display at the National Waterfront Museum in Swansea. As good as it is, the story also made me think of the BBC show, The Detectorists, with Mackenzie Crook and Toby Jones, about a pair of long suffering metal detectorists who always seem to just miss out on the kind of big find described above. It’s a brilliant, heart-warming and understated show that we’ve only recently discovered and it never fails to make me laugh.

Retirement plans. The end of another academic year puts me another year closer to a relatively early retirement. I’m slowly realising that I’ve not got many more years in me as far as work is concerned, so we’re making tentative plans. At most, I’ve got three more years in me, but I might just do two, depending on how my pension’s looking. Either way, thinking about it always makes me smile!

Mod escort to Prom! If you don’t know, Mod is a British subculture born in the 1960s – and still alive and well today – focusing on particular styles of music and fashion from that era. They’re also into scooters, particularly Lambretta and Vespa. Last month I read a story of a Mod obsessed schoolboy from York who was given a scooter escort to his prom. Having attended a fair few proms in my teaching career I’ve seen students arrive in everything from limos to horse drawn carriages and military vehicles to helicopters. I’ve never seen a scooter escort though and so, coupled with my own interest in Mod culture, this one really made me smile. 15-year-old Travis from York, who is autistic, had been obsessed by Mod culture all his life learning lots of stuff from his grandparents. And although he wasn’t keen to go to Prom at first, his love of a sharp suit and his mum organising a scooter escort for him, persuaded him to go. The fact that the escort consisted of more than 100 scooters was just a fantastic turn out. Just a brilliant story!

The sun! Summer will generally bring out the sun at times, but in England you’re still more likely to get more than your fair share of rain. But, July brought with it another heatwave, meaning that our school sports day had to be done over two consecutive mornings – more time idling in the sun for me! Furthermore, for the bit of July that was spent at home I was able to fill loads of my time in the garden, just relaxing. More than enough reason to smile!

And with that, I’ll bid you adieu! But I’ll be back next month with hopefully a load more instances of turning that frown upside down!

Amar Dedic, the signing we never knew we needed.

It used to be that we didn’t get too excited about signing a full back. But modern football has changed all that. Yet still, our latest full back signing, Amar Dedic, didn’t exactly set many hearts fluttering.

I can’t lie, I hadn’t heard of him at first and then when my memory was jogged by the fact that Anthony Gordon had ran him ragged in last year’s Champions League game against Benfica, I was a bit unnerved. Clearly, I needn’t have been because Amar Dedic has quickly turned my frown upside down!

I’ll caveat this with the fact that it’s only been two games, but Dedic has made a flying start to his Newcastle career. He’s taken to English football like a duck to water and it’s fair to say that the lad looks like a seasoned Premier League veteran already. It might seem a convenient comparison, but he already reminds me of Kieran Trippier. His presence gives us a nice balance at the back and he looks pretty solid defensively.

Going forward Dedic is dynamic and quick, making brave runs on either side of the winger, and always giving opposition defenders just a little bit more to think about. Against Liverpool he never looked overawed, despite the extremely high emotion of the occasion, the opposition and the fact that he was making his debut just days after arriving at the club. The Bosnian showed a calm head which is going to serve him well for the remainder of the season.

Against West Brom, Dedic was superb again. While Harvey Barnes won the Man of The Match award for his two goals, Dedic wasn’t far behind with what some in the media would hilariously label a swashbuckling performance. Pirate-like or not, wor Amar had another fantastic game, bombing up and down the right hand side all night in an incredible display of stamina that left this fan tired just watching! More to the point, he grabbed a brace of assists; another happy knack that might just prove more than its weight in gold this year as well as leaving a certain Tino Livramento wondering if he’ll be able to get the shirt back once he’s fit again.

Clearly, our Geordie Bosnian has settled well and from celebrations on the pitch it seems like he’s quickly gained the trust and respect of his new team mates too. Defensively aware, likes a tackle, works hard, loves getting forward and provides the goods when he gets there – in a world where flair and skill are often king, Amar Dedic might just become the poster boy for sheer graft!

Newcastle United: A New Hope?

If we’re honest, it’s been another stressful summer. Put it this way, I’m a teacher and on the back of this one and the ‘Isak summer’ I think I might just get some temporary work for the six weeks between the middle of July and the start of September next year. Players leaving, transfer snubs, barely even a friendly won, SCR woes and then the manager of the last five years leaving. Not a great deal to get excited about. And of course this summer we lost possibly the most important person in the club’s history; Kevin Keegan.

So, I decided to go looking for positives. It’s the eve of a new season and of course we’re probably all feeling nervous to say the least. But going into this with a sense of doom, won’t help anyone.

If you believe certain sections of the media you’d think it’s been a nightmare transfer window for Newcastle. But while it hasn’t been great in terms of outgoings, when you look more closely, it’s not quite the disaster that it’s been painted as. In Tonali and Gordon we lost two players that wanted out and hardly set the world alight for us last season, so getting good money for both was actually smart business. For me, Trippier was a bigger loss, given the youthful look of our new signings. And the less said about Bruno, the better. He’s gone and we have to move on. Let’s stick to the positives!

With that in mind, here’s a big old positive statement; I genuinely believe that a couple of our signings could go on to be just about anything they want at St. James’ Park. Even though it’s early days, for me Sean Steur and Bazoumana Toure look more than a little bit special.

Steur in particular has been a fantastic surprise, bought seemingly when none of us were looking. But what a spot! The lad is 18 and plays like a seasoned veteran. It’s like he was born with a ball at his feet. I can’t remember seeing such composure at such a young age for a long time. In terms of his confidence with the ball there’s a hint of Gazza there for me. I watched him come into the team many years ago and just change games, demanding the ball. Steur feels similar. And while I don’t think he possesses the ‘God given’ talent that Gazza had, he’s certainly very, very special. Composed, intelligent, strong and always looking to play forward. He’s very quickly made himself look like a starter and him and Lewis Miley may be our central midfielders for a few years to come.

Toure is a very different player, obviously. However, he looks like one who could grab games by the scruff of the neck and change everything with his pace and flair. I’d become tired of watching wingers cut inside, slowing the game down, so it’s been good to see Toure so willing to go down the outside. I really hope he makes a positive start and manages to stay injury free as much as possible this year.

On top of those two, others have come into the squad and it’s to be hoped that once they settle they can live up to their billing. Furthermore, the likes of Leo Shahar and Mason Miley have impressed in pre season too, so you never know, the next future superstar might have already made their debut!

Further down the pecking order things are progressing well within the development teams with some notable additions being made and teams like our under 15s winning tournament after tournament. So who knows, with a little more patience we may see some of the likes of Park, Fitzgerald, Salia, Pivas, Neave, Ca, Ferreira and Wooster pushing to get into the team. And down the age groups the likes of Charlie Robinson, Sam Alabi, Michael Mills and Lucas Flack all seem to be making excellent progress.

Meanwhile, the manager who could well be giving those lads a chance in a few years time is young, highly rated, well motivated and tactically innovative. Matthias Jaissle was a name that I didn’t recognise when it was reported that he was coming in and the jury is still well and truly out on whether he’s up to the job, but I must admit I like what I’ve seen and heard so far. Hopefully, once the players are up to speed with his system things will begin to look even more positive.

The announcement about the new training facilities has also been a very timely positive. Some were beginning to doubt the ownership, so it’s nice to know that they’re still there! But these state of the art facilities are sure to benefit the club for many years to come and the part they’ll play in future recruitment can’t be underestimated. It’s certainly a long way from wheelie bin ice baths and paddling pool recoveries!

Furthermore, with more sponsorship just announced for the training kit and potentially the Stack and even St. James’, suddenly things are looking a lot healthier commercially too. So while plenty of others were revelling in the idea that our owners had ‘lost interest’ it actually looks far from it. And that could begin affect things in an immensely positive way for the club.

After the stale feel of last season something had to change and it had to be a big change. Players and a manager that we had loved have gone, but the club is still there and the team now has a chance to shake off that stale feeling and go again.

My one caveat would be that patience is going to be needed. There are a lot of moving parts to the changes at Newcastle United at the moment and whatever is being implemented by the new management team will take a bit of time. The importance of staying positive cannot be underestimated.

Film Review : ‘The Great Escaper’.

Some films are guaranteed to take us on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. They can sometimes be a tough watch, but still we put ourselves through it. While I wouldn’t describe ‘The Great Escaper’ quite this kind of film, I would say that it will make you smile, laugh and cry…possibly all at the same time!

Michael Caine and Glenda Jackson star as Bernie and Rene, war time sweethearts who made it through Bernie’s service during World War II before getting married and living their happily ever after. But the ravages of time catch up with all of us and now Rene is in a nursing home with Bernie still living with her after refusing to leave her side.

Based on a true story, the film is a love story with a twist. So yes, you’ll be heartened by Bernie and Rene’s devotion to each, before ‘The Great Escaper’ lives up to its name as ex-Royal Navy man Bernie sets off on one last mission to bury the ghosts of the past.

Bernie is determined to attend the celebrations for the 70th anniversary of D Day. So, when he can’t get a ticket for an organised tour, he sets off to France alone, with only Rene aware of his whereabouts. On his way there he’s befriended by Arthur, another veteran. Both have unfinished business in France and both are still haunted by their military past.

Touching on issues such as ageing and mental health, ‘The Great Escaper’ is a fantastically refreshing watch. Caine and Jackson are superb as Bernie and Rene and the film reveals a lot about the trauma, despair and heartache that veterans go through as well as the harsh realities of ageing. But there’s a light hearted side to the film too, as we will Bernie to make it out to France and then sit back, smile and enjoy his new found celebrity status upon his return.

If you enjoy a heart warming love story with a bit of a difference, then you’ll enjoy ‘The Great Escaper’ and if you have an interest in anything to do with World War II then it will also appeal. Overall, it’s a fascinating tale with a hearty serving of laughs thrown in too.

I give ‘The Great Escaper’

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Gallowgate Cult Heroes number 24 – Scott Sellars.

In a time when we seem to value pace and athleticism ahead of ability at times, it’s nice to think back to footballers who didn’t rely on speed, strength or the odd trick here and there. It’s nice to remember a player who had a bit of craft on the ball and could always be relied on to find a team mate, however difficult the pass might look. Scott Sellars was one such player.

Sellars was well established as a player when he signed for Newcastle. He’d made close to 300 appearances for Leeds and Blackburn when he joined us for £600,000 in 1993, making him available for the final 13 games of the season as we pushed for promotion to the Premiership.

In a way Sellars, a left sided midfielder, was a typical Kevin Keegan signing. KK could see that this was a player who could undoubtedly land the ball on a sixpence, but also that he was perhaps a little under appreciated too. Those famous man management skills might just work wonders. With a wand of a left foot, Sellars struck a sweet dead ball, something we would find out in the most glorious of circumstances not long after he signed.

Sellars only scored 8 goals for Newcastle in 75 appearances across just over 2 seasons. However, one of them would go down in the folklore of the club. Not only did this goal pretty much tie up promotion, but it was the winner in the derby of 1993.

The conditions made the goal all the more beautiful. It was ‘hoying it doon’ that day and conditions made it difficult to keep your feet on a heavily waterlogged pitch. Newcastle had won a free kick just to the left of centre outside the D of the box. Sellars, Rob Lee, Paul Bracewell and Barry Venison were in discussion about what would happen before Venners moved away. Rob Lee made the dummy run over the ball and Bracewell – who’d been shielding the ball – moved before Sellars strode forward and curled a beauty over the right hand side of the wall and in at the far post, completely wrong-footing the mackem keeper, Tony Norman. I was there that day, soaked to the skin like everybody else, but the joy was unfounded on the terraces. What a goal!

Sellars would go on to help settle Keegan’s young side as they went into the Premier League. His experience was a help, but his quality was invaluable as we not only settled in, but climbed the table and challenged the best that the league had to offer. Newly promoted Newcastle would finish 3rd that season with Scott making 35 appearances in all, scoring 4 goals and contributing a fantastic 11 assists for the likes of Andy Cole and Peter Beardsley.

Injury would hamper Scott’s progress in the following season and he only made 19 appearances, scoring just the one goal. And it was a terrible cartilage injury that would help signal the end for him, coupled with the signing of David Ginola in July 1995. By December of that year Sellars was on his way to Bolton Wanderers for a fee of £750,000.

Scott established himself as one of Bolton’s stars, making 106 appearances over 4 seasons and contributing 15 goals and numerous assists. After Bolton he joined Huddersfield for a couple of years before winding down his playing career at Danish club AGF Aarhus and then Mansfield Town.

After retiring from playing, Scott carved out a successful career in coaching with the likes of Chesterfield and Manchester City before moving on to become the Head of Academy coaching and then Technical Director at Wolves. Nowadays he can be found as the Sporting Director at Al-Jazira in the UAE.

Middle Age Gigging – Flaming Lips at The Piece Hall, Halifax.

A gorgeous summer night in Calderdale sees the realisation of a bit of a musical dream of mine. I’ve wanted to see The Flaming Lips for ages, but circumstances have always gotten in the way until now. Suffice to say, as we park up and wander to the venue I’m more than a little bit excited for what’s about to happen.

The whole thing is almost a non starter though as we go through security. Regular readers will know that I’m fitted with a pacemaker, which also means no scanning at security. It’s usually no issue; just a word with the person in charge followed by a pat down. Tonight though, despite giving the usual pacemaker spiel and despite the security guys nods of understanding, when I put my arms up for a pat down, he starts to scan me instead! It briefly loiters over my pacemaker before I have to shout to make myself clear and am patted down! No damage done, but a definite numbness down my left arm and hand through the support act though! The perils of middle age gigging, eh?

I’m not too familiar with tonight’s support, The Beta Band and only have a vague awareness of their sound. However, their set tonight is a wonderful surprise. A multi instrumental, infectious pyschedelic groove for the whole time and a performance that will stay with me as well as giving me a kick up the arse into exploring that back catalogue. Stuart Murdoch is a brilliant frontman and the band are obviously enjoying themselves tonight. But to the casual observer like me, it’s the music that does the job with ‘Dry The Rain’ and ‘She’s The One’ really standing out. All in all, if I wasn’t sure at the start, I’m a total convert by the end of the set.

While the stage is being prepped for The Flaming Lips, there’s plenty of intrigue. I know that this will be a visual feast of a show, so spotting the giant balloons being stored behind the screen makes me smile. But then, there are a number of items being dragged onstage that pique my interest, several appearing to be huge pink tarpaulins which will delight everyone watching a short while later. There’s even a glimpse of singer Wayne Coyne waving from the side of the stage at one point, which helps to whet the appetite just a little bit more.

And then, there they are; no great fuss, but a visual treat alongside some truly excellent tunes – finally, The Flaming Lips!

Opener ‘The Stars Are So Big…I Am So Small…Do I Stand a Chance?’ eases us into tonight’s feast for the senses before fan favourite ‘Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt1 and Pt2’ hits and it feels like the whole place has been lifted off its feet by this bunch of blokes from Oklahoma. Before we know it there are four enormous inflatable pink robots dwarfing everything in sight while a giant singalong party ensues. If anyone needed a pick me up, the Lips seem intent on delivering.

In the trio of songs that follow, ‘The Spark That Bled’ stands out while the visuals continue at pace, making this already a memorable evening. Coyne is in good form, thankful for the sunshine, the venue and the crowd who he encourages to keep screaming their support throughout.

‘The Golden Path’ recorded in 2003 with the Chemical Brothers really picks up the pace before something quite remarkable happens. Introducing new song ‘Every Teardrop Cried’ Coyne breaks down in tears revealing that his older brother died a week ago and that he hasn’t been able to get home. What follows is a beautiful tearjerker of a song and I swear every member of the audience is just willing Coyne to get through it.

Then, shaking off the grief, the band rip through crowd favourite ‘She Don’t Use Jelly’ and the whole place is just a riot of colour, dancing and at the risk of sounding like a raging hippy…love. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so relaxed at a gig.

A brilliant ‘Five Stop Mother Superior Rain’ is up next followed by a brilliantly timed ‘It’s Summertime’, the line ‘look outside, I know that you’ll recognise it’s summertime‘ really resonating just as the blue of the Halifax sky darkens and the lights and lasers shift up a gear. Wonderful stuff.

Coyne gives us the chance at some audience participation with a brilliant version of ‘The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song’ complete with giant balloons being flung into the crowd to add to the euphoria, before it’s left to the stunning ‘Do You Realise??’ to close the show. As the remaining balloons continue to be pinged left, right and centre we also have an inflatable rainbow onstage because, as you’d expect, the band always bring their own rainbow.

After a brief interlude the band come back onstage to a fabulous reception and fly through a brilliant version of Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’ before closing the night with a truly rapturous ‘Race For The Prize’.

Tonight, with my son at my side for his first ever gig, I’ve fulfilled that musical dream sure enough, but The Flaming Lips have given us much, much more. Some superb music and an evening’s entertainment that will live long in the memory. I mean who else plays such euphoric tunes under their own rainbow? Who else could prompt a riotously friendly game of musical volleyball among a few thousand people in a Grade 1 listed Georgian Cloth Hall? And who else lends you a treasure like Wayne Coyne for an hour and a half, just so you can have a bit of a dance with a load of strangers and people on stage dressed as the sun?

At a time when almost everything seems to cause anger and disappointment, the world doesn’t know just how much it needs The Flaming Lips.

Always look on the bright side – 5 things that made me smile in June.

First thing’s first; that ‘5 things’ bit is a lie this month. It’s been a bumper month for reasons to smile, so with plenty to pack in, let’s get to it.

Year 11 left school. Christmas in school is great, as are the last days leading up to summer and Easter, but without doubt my favourite time of the year is when Year 11 leave! From a teaching standpoint my hard work is at its peak and I’ve done everything I can to get them ready for their exams, including before and after school sessions and two hour long pre exam classes, everything that happens in regular lessons and literally throwing more and more revision resources their way. So while they’re asking ‘Will you miss us, sir?’, I’m very vocal in telling them that I’ll be too busy enjoying some extra free time to get things done to actually give them any thought! Believe me, having no Year 11 form for half an hour each morning is bliss. And that’s before we get to lesson time! So, although there’s lots of assessment marking to fill my time, I’m still getting what would have been Year 11 lesson time to do it in.

The Leeds 10k. I’ve already written a piece on this (link below), but the fact that training went really well, I felt so relaxed running it and ran one of my fastest times of the year so far – slightly over 55 minutes – made me smile quite a bit!

The Leeds 10k 2026

Scotland fans fly 22 hours to get to the World Cup. This was a story from the BBC website about two Scotland fans who flew to Boston in their small propeller plane to get to see their nation play in the World Cup. It took them 22 hours, stopping in Iceland, Greenland and Canada along the way, to get there. They said, “It was the trip of a lifetime” and “It probably doesn’t get any better than that.” And then about a week later Scotland got knocked out. The dedication of football fans, eh? 😂

Mr. Swallow. Nick Mohammed’s character Mr. Swallow is probably one of my favourite fictional ‘people’. He’s hard to describe, but the words manic, chaotic and hilarious spring immediately to mind. Anyway, we went to see him on his ‘Show Pony’ tour in Leeds at the start of the month and it was easily one of the funniest things I’ve ever watched. And there’s nothing quite like laughter to make you feel positive. The link for my review is below, if you fancy it.

Comedy Review: Mr Swallow: ‘Show Pony’.

World Cup! The World Cup started and while I struggled to get into it too much due to the overnight kick off times in many matches, it didn’t take me too long to find myself sat in front of the telly avidly watching football as much as I could. As a lifelong football fan – and veteran of 11 World Cups now – I just love it. The stress and tension of a season watching my club side is vastly reduced and for the majority of the time I can just sit back and enjoy the games. Bliss!

Ducks! This was the story of two ducks and their ducklings that apparently have a favourite pub. The story goes that the two ducks – Donald and Daisy – had been heading to the pub to get fed, even resorting to pecking on the windows when nobody came out – for a couple of months. Now this is more than enough to make anyone smile. However, recently Daisy brought along her six newly born ducklings too! The pub is is South Shields, a coastal town in the North East and landlady Sinia Jawzi says that the ducks are “a huge part of the pub now”. I mean, if ducks going to the pub doesn’t make you smile I’m afraid we cannot possibly be friends!

Embrace…twice! This year marks 30 years of the band Embrace, a favourite of myself and my wife. And in May we were able to go and see them play twice in 5 days. The first gig was at a small venue in Barnsley as an album launch show for their new album Avalanche and it was superb. Afterwards the band manned the merch stall and we were lucky enough to get a few photos with them, as well as some signed merch. Then, on the Saturday, they headlined a huge show at the Piece Hall in Halifax. Once again, it was a truly memorable gig. Both gigs certainly gave me lots to smile about.

Sidecar riding dog. The final smile comes courtesy of a sidecar riding St. Bernard dog. Now you might be thinking, ‘that must be one helluva sidecar’ and you’d be right. The dog’s owner, Alan Valkeith, adapted the sidecar for his Honda Goldwing so that his St. Bernard, Louis, could ride around town with him. Apparently this extraordinary sight has been making people smile wherever they go. And you can see why when you look at the picture!

Now by my reckoning that’s a ‘five reasons’ episode with 8 reasons for a bit of a smile. Bargain! I really hope you enjoyed reading all about the things that made me smile in June!

Auf Wiedersehen, Kev.

I was already in love with Newcastle United when Kevin Keegan shocked the world and signed for us. And still as a 12-year-old I couldn’t comprehend why he was coming to St. James’ Park. I’d loved watching the likes of Micky Burns and Alan Shoulder play and now the England captain and former two time European Footballer of the Year had decided that he too was going to pull on the black and white striped shirt. My world – and that of an entire city – turned upside down.

It’s difficult to find the words to do Kevin justice. Difficult to focus through the tears and the memories too. But here goes.

I learned of the signing from the back page of someone else’s newspaper on a beach in Spain. I scrambled my way back up the beach to tell my dad who went across and asked to borrow said newspaper. It was like reading some kind of otherworldly fairytale. Things like this didn’t happen to my club. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to get home.

Kevin Keegan changed Newcastle United in ways that none of us could ever have dreamed of. In fact, he revolutionised it. And in doing so he dragged the whole city with him. He was a force of nature and would continue to be so for the rest of his life as far as our football club and city was concerned. Countless people have said that Keegan just ‘got’ us, so it’s not original but, boy is it true. Kevin loved us and we loved him right back. He forged a lifelong connection that was felt by each and every one of us.

As a player he carried the club on his shoulders, dragging us back into the top division at a time when we’d been in what felt like a permanent state of flatlining. When he scored that goal on his debut and ended up practically throwing himself into the Gallowgate, even the most hard hearted couldn’t help but fall in love, even the most cynical began to believe again. Only when he returned as manager would we truly feel like that again.

Improbably, his first stint as manager was even better than his two years as a player. He saved the club from a fate that might have killed us off and then set about on a mission to make us the talking point of English football for the first time in a long, long time. While we won nothing, everyone of us will cherish the memories of that period for a lifetime. Once again Kevin gave us hope and pride and allowed us just to believe that our club and our city really mattered.

Even the second time around in the hotseat was exciting. Yes, he was hamstrung by those not fit to breath the same air, but it was simply incredible to have him back, if only for a brief period of time.

Kevin spent a long time defending us and giving the underdog a voice. From the early 80s all the way through to the modern day, he’s had our back. It’s a debt that could never be paid back, but one that he wouldn’t have expected even an ounce of thanks for.

The news of his passing will have shook every last one of us. It’s just incredibly sad. As others have said, Keegan was the best of us. So if you can, through the tears and the sadness, try and find just a little bit of time to celebrate that once upon a time he chose our club. He chose us. And how lucky were we?

Rest in Peace, KK, but most of all, thank you.