Auf Wiedersehen, Kev.

I was already in love with Newcastle United when Kevin Keegan shocked the world and signed for us. And still as a 12-year-old I couldn’t comprehend why he was coming to St. James’ Park. I’d loved watching the likes of Micky Burns and Alan Shoulder play and now the England captain and former two time European Footballer of the Year had decided that he too was going to pull on the black and white striped shirt. My world – and that of an entire city – turned upside down.

It’s difficult to find the words to do Kevin justice. Difficult to focus through the tears and the memories too. But here goes.

I learned of the signing from the back page of someone else’s newspaper on a beach in Spain. I scrambled my way back up the beach to tell my dad who went across and asked to borrow said newspaper. It was like reading some kind of otherworldly fairytale. Things like this didn’t happen to my club. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to get home.

Kevin Keegan changed Newcastle United in ways that none of us could ever have dreamed of. In fact, he revolutionised it. And in doing so he dragged the whole city with him. He was a force of nature and would continue to be so for the rest of his life as far as our football club and city was concerned. Countless people have said that Keegan just ‘got’ us, so it’s not original but, boy is it true. Kevin loved us and we loved him right back. He forged a lifelong connection that was felt by each and every one of us.

As a player he carried the club on his shoulders, dragging us back into the top division at a time when we’d been in what felt like a permanent state of flatlining. When he scored that goal on his debut and ended up practically throwing himself into the Gallowgate, even the most hard hearted couldn’t help but fall in love, even the most cynical began to believe again. Only when he returned as manager would we truly feel like that again.

Improbably, his first stint as manager was even better than his two years as a player. He saved the club from a fate that might have killed us off and then set about on a mission to make us the talking point of English football for the first time in a long, long time. While we won nothing, everyone of us will cherish the memories of that period for a lifetime. Once again Kevin gave us hope and pride and allowed us just to believe that our club and our city really mattered.

Even the second time around in the hotseat was exciting. Yes, he was hamstrung by those not fit to breath the same air, but it was simply incredible to have him back, if only for a brief period of time.

Kevin spent a long time defending us and giving the underdog a voice. From the early 80s all the way through to the modern day, he’s had our back. It’s a debt that could never be paid back, but one that he wouldn’t have expected even an ounce of thanks for.

The news of his passing will have shook every last one of us. It’s just incredibly sad. As others have said, Keegan was the best of us. So if you can, through the tears and the sadness, try and find just a little bit of time to celebrate that once upon a time he chose our club. He chose us. And how lucky were we?

Rest in Peace, KK, but most of all, thank you.

Middle Aged adventures in new music

Some of the fondest memories of my teenage years would have been spent hunting out music. A large proportion of that time would have been spent in record shops – shout out to Music Box in Blaydon who took much of my pocket money and wages in those formative years- and also perusing the music section of our local library, a source of many a gem that could be borrowed for a small sum.

Nowadays things are different for teenagers. A lot of the time there’s no need to set foot outside of the house to find music; music comes to them. Whether it’s via a video on social media or an algorithm on a streaming service that whispers in their ear, ‘I’ve heard what you like, have you heard this though?‘ it feels like things are a bit easier these days.

That’s not to say that I resent today’s youth. As I said, rifling through the shelves in record shops was something I found immensely enjoyable in my teenage years. There was something about the whole immersive experience that just dragged me back for more week in, week out. I’m sure lots of us would say the same.

While record shops and the local library were where I discovered the majority of the music that shaped me, my parents and older sister were another valuable source. My parent’s love of the likes of Elvis, The Beatles, Chuck Berry and Dionne Warwick is still with me to this day and it was my sister who awakened me to people like Luther Vandross and Alexander O’Neill. I learnt that it was ok to like things that my friends might not have deemed ‘cool’.

These days, as a father, the pattern is beginning to repeat itself as my son gets more and more into music. He’s been immersed in a lot of what we like and so has a healthy attachment to bands like Oasis, Embrace, Take That (we can blame Mrs C for that one) and The Bluetones as well as loads of what we now might refer to as old classics.

Recently though, he’s been telling me more about the music that he’s discovering. It’s great that he’s finding himself on the same kind of journey into music as I did at his age. At first, much to my delight, he’d mention bands like The Smiths and artists like Jeff Buckley, favourites of mine but not stuff that he’d been exposed to that much by me. But now, he’s begun to tell me more about new music, bands and artists that I’ve literally never heard of and I must admit that it’s made me curious. It’s great to see that he’s discovering new stuff and finding his own way. His headphones seem to have been surgically attached without my knowledge after all, so they may as well help him discover new music.

One night recently, after another music discussion, I got him to write a few recommendations down so that I could give them a go. And then I thought I’d tell you, dear reader, about what I found. I mean, any excuse for content, right?

He was very keen for me to listen to someone called Alex G. The name alone being a reminder of Kenny G, I wasn’t quite as enthusiastic. However, I clicked away until I found myself listening to the aforementioned Mr G. What I heard instantly reminded me of Elliot Smith, so a very high bar was set. Sadly though, young Alex failed to live up to Elliot’s standard. My notes included ‘sounds like he’s singing through a sock’ and ‘could he not work out how to end this?’ and after a few songs I just gave up. Not the start I’d wanted and not the result that my son wanted. He was genuinely disappointed to hear that I hadn’t enjoyed it.

I moved on to Dead Butterflies and their track ‘Embers’ which had been recommended as a starting point. I found it a bit dull, so moved on to a live version to try and find a spark of some kind. Here are my notes. ‘What’s the girl doing? Why is he crouching on the floor? They’re standing up again. She’s playing a trombone?! Ooh, he’s screaming. Really screaming. Has he fallen over? What’s with the weird handsy thing?’

I was beginning to think that my enlightenment may turn into more of just a plain mistake but I didn’t want to just sit there mocking people’s music. So I tried ‘Embers’ again and then another few tracks. There’s more screaming in ‘Ramona, the hurt’ and in the end it felt like while they might be trying too hard, they were a band to come back to. There was something in the obvious devotion of their fanbase on live tracks that suggested there’d be more than meets the eye – or ear – here.

The next suggestion was King Krule and as I typed that into the YouTube search bar I had no idea if the king was a band or an individual. What I did know is that someone involved can’t spell, which upset me a little as an English teacher. But I was here to focus on the music and the track I’d been told to listen to was ‘Baby Blue’. My instant response to what followed was simply, Babyshambles. The singer – who may or may not be King Krule – reminded me a lot of Pete Doherty. I could hear the influence of Jamie T in there too. The song seemed quite disparate; my notes mentioned timing and rhythm as well as the words ‘jazz interpretation’, but I felt that I wasn’t getting the best of his highness so I moved on. Thankfully, it got better. I discovered King Krule at Glastonbury and on Letterman and while I kept getting Pavement vibes, the song Easy Easy reminded me a little bit of The Jam, which could only ever be a good thing.

Next up was MF Angel and I must admit, I expected much more. In the end my notes just read, ‘quite melodic, but could you speak up a bit?’ Safe to say I’m not going to be a devotee.

My new music quest was coming to an end. I’d been asked to have a listen to Modern Baseball and already there was a positive with the name. They’re what I’d call a traditional American indie band and there were definitely hints of The Pixies and Pavement to be heard. Ben Kweller sprung to mind too. I listened to ‘Re-do’, ‘Tears Over Beers’ and then ‘The Weekend’ and I have to admit that I liked what I heard. It all seemed tuneful and there was an enthusiasm that was quite engaging too. A lyric from ‘The Weekend’ stuck in my head and there hadn’t been many of those in the experiment.

“You got a smile that could light this town and we might need it, cause it gets dark around here, real dark around here”.

Proof that while I might not enjoy so much of the modern music I get to hear, the art of song writing definitely didn’t die out just yet.

So what conclusions can I form about new music? Well, essentially not many, really. I mean I was fishing in a small pool, after all. But there have been glimmers of hope in what I’d listened to, most notably with Modern Baseball. And there were others I’d revisit. And I think that was the point here. Things need a chance. It took me ages to get the point of bands like The White Stripes and there are many bands and artists that I rejected in my teens and early twenties that I’d happily listen to now. Furthermore, is it just that I’m the problem here? Is being a middle aged man an actual impediment when it comes to listening to music that is being aimed at people 30 something years younger.

I’ll head back to artists like Modern Baseball and King Krule. Others have made me curious too. There’s a band called Mom Jeans and I just love the name so will definitely have to give them a try. And so, armed with more suggestions from my new music guru – my son – I’ll be heading back into the unknown sometime soon. And I’ll be sure to update you on episode 2.

Bruno: Say it ain’t so!

After a certain Swedish drama queen left you feared it wouldn’t end there. And it didn’t. After a particularly poor season ended without European qualification, the fear deepened. Sure enough, Anthony Gordon took a seat on our bench and some weeks later reappeared as a Barcelona player. Next came Sandro Tonali, who fell for the bright lights of London that came with a frankly ludicrous salary from a club who seem to have doubled down on 17th place finishes. But when rumours about Bruno Guimaraes began to bubble up you just felt they couldn’t be true. Those others, of course. But not Bruno. Never Bruno.

I write this in search of balance, for myself as much as the rest of us. Of course everyone will have an opinion and you can’t deny them that. Some will feel betrayed and wish terrible fortune on Bruno. Others will understand and thank him for what he achieved here. All will feel at least a little bit hurt.

For what it’s worth, I desperately don’t want Bruno to leave. Not only is he our captain and most important player, he’s the talisman for the whole club. However, I think I at least understand his reasoning for feeling like he needs the move. The chance to move on and play at the very top level must be tempting and if you’ve any kind of ambition in life, it’s what you want. If you fancy yourself as a top player then I imagine you want to win more than a Carabao Cup. At the moment, and for the foreseeable future, we’re not dining at the top table with even European qualification evading us.

On the other hand, Bruno was well and truly a part of last season’s 12th place finish. He was the captain of the team that failed to gain even a Europa Conference League spot. And while it would be churlish to deny that he was easily our best player last season, he was still a major influence over the team and their underwhelming performance. They failed together; no one really came out with a great deal of credit. So, to now suddenly be pining for Arsenal feels wrong.

So would we be more comfortable if Bruno was to join another club that have been credited with an interest, like Real Madrid? Me personally, yes. I wouldn’t like it any more, but I’d understand. Certain Premier League clubs cherry picking the best talent at other Premier League clubs doesn’t sit well with me and if ambition is behind Bruno wanting to move then there’s not much more ambition than heading to a club like Madrid. To come out and say that he wants to move to Arsenal – if he’s said that – feels like nothing short of a betrayal.

These days loyalty seems to come in bite sized chunks. One club men are hard to find. Bruno has apparently said that he doesn’t want to tarnish his legacy at the club. Well, that’s easily done. Stay. Be loyal. Stay and build on that legacy. With the team in transition and seemingly bedding in new young, hungry talent, stay and guide them through. Furthermore, stay because the fans, the city and the region have put you – and your family – on a pedestal for the last 4 years. Acknowledging that and staying; that’s the stuff of legacy and legend at a club like ours.

It’s clear that the club need to react to this news. If we’re serious about not selling Bruno and we really want him to stay, then a new contract will be offered and offered quickly. Surely that’s what a proper football club does? Surely that’s what a football club who see themselves as “being in the debate about being the top club in the world” by 2030 does? Over to you David Hopkinson.

Personally, I’d be devastated if Bruno Guimaraes leaves. Like many other Newcastle fans, he’s a player that I love watching in the black and white stripes. I’m certainly not the first to say that he’s one of those rarities who just ‘gets it’. And that’s what makes this news all the more devastating. It’s felt like Bruno has embraced us as much as we’ve embraced him. His words after the Carabao Cup win embodied that. “The fans deserve everything…people have died, people have grown up and they’ve not seen Newcastle as champions.” Maybe we deserve for him to stay, whoever that’s down to.

As a fan I’ve watched any number of heroes leave. Waddle, then Beardsley, then Gascoigne hurt. Keegan leaving hurt. Andy Cole, Les Ferdinand and plenty of others too. But we survived. If ever there was a ‘trust the process moment’, it’s now. But does the process battle to keep hold of its captain, leader and legend or does the process bow to the inevitable, hold out for the best price possible and attempt to replace one of modern day Newcastle United’s most influential and popular players? I know which I’d choose.

Big Dan Burn – from Asda to the Azteca!

I’d had an afternoon nap and tried to squeeze some sleep in beforehand, but despite my efforts, I still must have dropped off very briefly while watching the England game earlier this morning. And I missed a real moment as a result.

Newcastle United’s Dan Burn was subbed on in the 75th minute with England leading 2-3, down to 10 men and firmly under the cosh. Imagine my surprise to only learn of this in about the 78th minute when my eyes snapped back open and I heard his name. Blinking my way into some sort of consciousness I stared at the screen and there he was making a clearance. Dan Burn had finally and firmly arrived at the World Cup.

My immediate thoughts were just the hopes that he didn’t do anything silly and be responsible for conceding an equaliser. But, despite a slight early error when he kind of hung a heel at a cross and missed, he grew into the game. In fact, he adapted really quickly given the conditions and the situation he’d found himself thrown into.

Mexico threw everything they had at England in the last 15 minutes of the 90 and then threw a fair bit more in the 11 added on. At times it felt like every cross was met by Big Dan and every shot blocked by him too. The boy from Blyth was an absolute colossus. In fact, in only 26 minutes on the pitch he made 6 clearances; the joint most on the field. This was also the most clearances made by a player subbed on as late as he was in any World Cup since 1966. Given the fact that these were his first minutes of the whole World Cup, his contributions were absolutely crucial.

There was a header followed by an outstanding block on the left side of our box very late on when I thought we were about to concede an equaliser, but Big Dan was there, throwing his body on the line. Many have mocked his inclusion in the squad, but I bet they were glad of him in those last 26 minutes.

For the lad who once collected trollies in Asda and played for Darlington, Yeovil and Wigan earlier on in his career this was another incredible high in an incredible journey. Next up, it’s Haaland and Norway in Miami on Saturday. Might we see more of Big Dan? I hope so.

As England leave Mexico City, the locals have learnt a crucial lesson. ‘Es de Blyth. Nunca, jamás, superarás a Dan Burn.’

Always look on the bright side: Five things that made me smile in May.

Another month and another attempt at finding the odd little things that bring an unexpected sliver of happiness into my life. And of course happiness is always a good thing to keep topped up! So here’s what I found last month. I hope it makes you smile too!

Welsh nans befriend wrestler. No, you read that right. This is the story of a group of Welsh grandmas who ended up becoming friends with a wrestler after sharing a flight with him. The group were heading to Las Vegas to scatter the ashes of one of their husbands and were initially fuming with the wrestler who was sat in what they believed to be one of their seats on the plane. But after discovering that this was their mistake one of the nans struck up a conversation with the wrestler, DeReiss Gordon. This in turn led to an invite to his bout at Wrestlemania in Vegas and a continuation of the friendship once they returned to Wales as DeReiss has now invited the group to a show in London. In a month where I was approaching the end of another gruelling half term, the unlikely nature of this friendship just really stood out for me!

Mani’s Mural. For anyone who doesn’t know, Mani – Gary Mountfield – was the bass player in The Stone Roses, a band who changed my life. Mani died last November and it was a real shock. Another one of my musical heroes gone, but this one being someone who it felt like I grew up with. However, when news of the completion of a mural for him broke last month, it just really made me smile. I’m a big fan of this kind of thing anyway, but seeing Mani’s beaming smile on the side of one of his favourite Manchester pubs just felt really fitting and a really happy thing to happen.

Year 7 and Year 10 speeches. I’ve always felt lucky to be a teacher. And not just for the holidays. I work with a lot of vulnerable children and sometimes just to help them through a tough day is enough to raise a smile eventually. However, in May two of my groups had to do speeches in class, which I think is a tough gig for anyone, really. My Year 10 group are the nurture group so the name might give a hint about their vulnerability. And my Year 7 group has some really quiet kids in there too. So, I was concerned for them having to perform speeches. Year 7 were defending Shakespearean villains, while Year 10 had to speak about something issue based, like whether AI is a good thing for instance. Across both groups some shook, some stuttered, some giggled, some were barely audible, some looked on the verge of tears, while others appeared full of confidence and performed really well. Two particularly shy boys in my Year 7s made me smile; one got up and spoke eloquently for over 3 minutes about Richard III, belying his fear, while the other struggled to read his own writing and needed me to stand up at the front with him just to get through. But their pride and relief was palpable and a joy to see. Meanwhile in Year 10, where their efforts were filmed for the exam board, it was a similar story, but at the same time an absolute triumph. Some of them only managed 30 odd seconds, but others gave it a real go and having taught them for two years now, I was just really, really proud of them.

Unofficial Landmarks. This was the story about stuff in certain cities that had become almost unofficial landmarks because the residents had just fallen in love with them over the years. So there were purple wheelie bins in Liverpool, a cone on the head of the Duke of Wellington’s statue in Glasgow, the Headington Shark in Oxford, a vampire rabbit gargoyle in my home city of Newcastle, a Big Fish in Belfast and the Big Apple (kiosk) near Mumbles Pier in Swansea. I loved them. You can judge for yourself below.

The sun! In one of the most unpredictable turn of events ever, the sun came out just as we were breaking up for half term! This meant that we had 7 days of lovely warm weather. A veritable heat wave and in a half term where all I really wanted to do was rest and relax, that’s what we did. Sometimes, you simply can’t beat lazing about in the garden, reading in the heat!

So, another month with another few reasons to crack a smile. Those little moments of joy are always there; you just have to look!

The Leeds 10k 2026

I’m experiencing a rare feeling of quiet optimism as I get to the start line of this year’s Leeds 10k. For once, training has gone surprisingly well and I’ve not been plagued with colds or illness of any kind. No aches or pains of any consequence and no injuries. I am however still fully aware of my age, my heart and my body, so while I’m relaxed as we wait to get going, I’m not kidding myself about my capabilities!

Once we get going, having practically crawled our way through the start, it doesn’t take me long to realise that I feel really relaxed. I’m keeping an eye on my pace and fully aware that I’m probably caught up in the atmosphere and running a little bit too quick, but it doesn’t feel bad at all. Sure enough, my first mile is done in a decent time. I’m not quite in James Brown form at this stage, but I feel good!

Our next stage is a little more uphill and I know I’ve slowed down, but it’s not significantly so. I still feel relaxed and continue to do so for the next couple of miles too.

Up to this point there has been plenty of support out on the course, which is always the case. Leeds is a big, friendly run and people make an effort to come out and offer lots of encouragement. So while for miles 2-3 there’s someone running with a speaker playing Maroon 5 amongst other abominations, there are plenty of spectators out calling out names, offering us high fives and just generally being lovely.

There’s also a bloke running near me at this point who seems to think it’s his job to motivate us – shouting stuff like ‘Get your breathing back, NOW!’ and warning us when there’s a photographer near for some reason. I stay relaxed but can genuinely say that I find this kind of thing really off-putting. Mate, my breathing’s ok, cheers and I genuinely don’t care if someone takes my photo and I look like I’m putting a bit of effort into running. Stop shouting!

Before you turn for ‘home’, so to speak, there’s a big hill to run up. Living where I live, I’m used to hills but usually still find them hard in a race. Today feels different though and while I don’t charge up it, it’s only in the last 20 yards or so where I’m really slowing down. And the bonus is, we get to run back down it on the other side of the road.

At this point I notice that the 55 minute pacers are climbing the hill while I’m descending, but for the first time in the run I’m aware of them and know that I have to keep going to stay ahead of them.

The last three miles or so are spent mainly on Meanwood Road, which is largely just a straight run. It’s pretty much a steady downhill as well; something I didn’t really realise until afterwards when I saw the elevation of the route on a map! I’m content just to keep going at the same pace while keeping an eye on my watch knowing that I there are two hills to come on the way into Leeds and that these would definitely slow me down. I still feel fairly relaxed and strong though.

It’s the final hill that gets me though! It comes more or less straight after the first one on the approach to Leeds and by that point my legs are struggling. Having got to the top I then get a little confused as to exactly what’s left, thinking that the finish is round one corner when in fact it’s the next one. At this point someone shouts out, ‘Don’t let those pacers catch you’ and I know that those 55 minute pacers can’t be far behind. It’s definitely time to kick on!

My kids are waiting just above the finish and it’s fantastic to see them, but by this point I’m fighting, knowing that the seconds are ticking down and that it would be touch and go to get in under 55 minutes. And in the end, despite as much of a sprint finish as I could muster, I missed out by 15 seconds, finishing in 55 minutes and 14 seconds. Damn those last couple of hills!

As will happen at the end of a race, I cramp up quite quickly in my calves and hamstrings so it’s just a case of finding some space for a bit of a stretch before keeping moving in order to collect a well earned goody bag, medal and t-shirt. Whatever age I get to and however many runs I manage to complete, I’ll never tire of a medal and a t-shirt!

After that it’s just a case of heading up to Millennium Square to meet my kids where, despite now being 19, my daughter charges across the square screaming and gives me a huge hug, followed by more muted congratulations from my son. Both knock the medal and t-shirt down into 2nd and 3rd place respectively in my list of rewards.

A few days later and I still can’t get those rogue 15 seconds out of my head. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased with my time. But the competitive side of me still wants to be running faster! Luckily, there’s always a next time. So for now it’s a case of keeping on training until my next race in October.

NUFC: That was the week that was.

Sometimes it feels like only the likes of Shakespeare and Scorsese do drama like Newcastle United. And the last seven days or so has encapsulated that perfectly…or imperfectly if you’re a Newcastle fan.

When news broke of the Munoz deal being hijacked on Wednesday night it wasn’t even that much of a shock, really. We’d already lost out on Zadok Zohana little over a week ago. He of course chose Brighton instead of Newcastle United. You can add that to almost the entirety of last pre-season when it felt like anyone we approached went elsewhere and the only quick deal was signing Nick Woltemade, done in the latter stages of the window.

Now, I don’t know much about Munoz apart from YouTube clips, so I’m not overly bothered that he’ll be in red, not black and white next season. But it’s not really the point. Once again we seem to have dithered and somewhat inevitably, lost out. Reports said that the player was keen to come, the price agreed etc. It was also said that he was the top target. And yet still we couldn’t get the deal done!

Earlier in the week we were greeted with the news that Head of Recruitment, Steve Nickson was off to West Ham. I won’t pretend to know exactly which players he signed, targeted or recommended, but whichever way you look at it losing such an important figure within the club doesn’t look good and just adds to the disruption. And it also means that when we should be actively recruiting players were also trying to recruit yet another replacement for someone who should be doing the recruiting. In theatre terms more a farce than anything Shakespearean.

There was also the news that Tino Livramento had picked up another injury and was out of the World Cup. While I feel for the lad, it just made me wonder if he’s ever going to be consistently available for Newcastle.

In the past week or so we’ve also had news about Sandro Tonali, Marco Pallestra and James Trafford. The Tonali to Spurs news just feels bizarre and yet so, so suited to us. Without going into any real detail though, why on Earth would he want to join Spurs? Seemingly, he does though. And the sight of their fans on social media explaining what it will take to get the deal done is galling to say the least. Then there’s Pallestra who our old friend Fabrizio Romano seems determined to tell us is DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO NEWCASTLE! Alright pal, calm down.

The Trafford news just left me cold. Two days of people pointing out that we’re interested once again. No concrete news about any actual transfer, but he’s our top goalkeeping target again. Forgive me if I feel like I know how this one ends already.

For me it’s crucial that we start hearing positive news. I appreciate that the window has only been open a matter of days, but other clubs aren’t waiting around. Brighton and Spurs have both made notable signings. I mean even previously skint Barcelona have made a major signing…

It’s important that we get things right. For weeks now we’ve heard rumours about the list of possible Gordon replacements and now we’ve lost out on the first one we’ve gone for. Already there are worrying echoes of last pre-season and much more of this could prove catastrophic for the upcoming season and the so called ‘project’. Again.

On the flip side, there are positives from the last week. New boy Ewen Jaouen looks to be a player with real potential and with any luck we’ve found our eventual number 1 for years to come. We have several players at the World Cup (ok, it’s not all incredibly positive, but there’s a barrel to be scraped here) and Yoane Wissa has actually scored.

It feels like the next couple of weeks have to be positive though. Players need to be coming in and coming in early. As I write the fixtures are out tomorrow and if you’re anything like me you’ll start looking at runs of games where we might start losing points! Forgive me for preaching positivity and then being so negative, but I’ve supported the club through thin and thinner and this is how I approach every season!

Clearly, we could all just do with some good news!

Middle Age Gigging: Embrace at The Piece Hall, June 2026.

My memory is a little hazy these days, in keeping with my 50 something status. Some things just stick though, however long ago they happened.

Around 28 years ago I was living in a flat above a cobblers in Pudsey, West Yorkshire. I was unemployed and missing Newcastle. Late one night though, not long after we’d moved there, my heart was lifted as out on the street underneath our window a young lad sang loudly on his way home from the pub next door. The song? ‘All You Good Good People’. I was fully on board with Embrace at this point, having written about them for a work magazine some months previously. Needless to say, I joined in with his singing.

Embrace have been a constant for almost all of my adult years; from my early twenties all the way through. That’ll be the same for a lot of people. So today’s Piece Hall gig feels like a big deal, celebrating what feels a little bit like 30 years together.

First up are local band The Hazy Janes, a bluesy rock trio who seem to be having a whale of a time. Their energy gets the crowd going and more to the point helps to warm us all up as it’s bloody freezing! They’re certainly not overawed by the setting and serve up a cracking set. Singer Ellis is an excellent front man and it’s a bit of a treat to have them opening up.

We’re running late though and so after a shorter than expected break it’s time for Idlewild. They’re a band that, I must admit, I wasn’t particularly into in their pomp but tonight I definitely warm to them.

Opener ‘You Held the World in your Arms’ gets us off to a great start and songs like ‘Little Discourage’ and ‘American English’ help to raise the bar. Idlewild are quite the spectacle with both guitarists rocking out and singer Roddy proving quite an addictive watch for me. There’s an awkwardness that I can’t take my eyes off, but his voice is superb throughout and all in all they deliver a quite brilliant set.

In truth though, today is about one band and one band only; the legendary Embrace and before too long the stage is set and we’re treated to a little backstage video that allows us to watch their approach. And then, they’re there and it’s time to celebrate a quite magnificent 30 years.

Opener ‘All You Good Good People’ is just wonderful – as ever – and it’s clear from the off that the band are thoroughly enjoying themselves. It sounds like everyone is belting out the lyrics at the top of their voices and it might be a good time to apologise to anyone near me for possibly drowning out Danny and also singing the wrong words with a well chosen selection of the right ones for the whole night. Soz, I’m just terrible at remembering lyrics even if I’ve been singing them everywhere for 30 years!

New song ‘Road to Nowhere’ comes next and keeps up the pace before there’s an absolutely paint stripping version of ‘One Big Family’, a song which I’ll never, ever tire of.

A quick mention for bassist Steve at this point, who I don’t think I’ve ever seen so animated. There was a smile and acknowledgement of the crowd at the start that just said, ‘I’ve got the best job in the world’ and it was an absolute joy to behold from where I was, right in front of him.

‘Someday’ and ‘Looking As You Are’ come next with the latter featuring the background wall of old photos of the band as well as ones sent in by the fans, which means that I find myself singing along and simultaneously kicking myself after we forgot to send ours in. It doesn’t matter; it sounds and looks great.

‘We Are It’ follows and again, it’s a great version which helps to ramp up the atmosphere a tiny bit more, but I have to say I’m running out of patience with Danny for not including me in his pointing bit in the chorus. I’m right here! I can be ‘it’ too!

Thankfully, all is forgiven with the reappearance of old live favourite ‘Save Me’ as the next song in the set. I’m getting far too old to be jumping up and down to the chorus, particularly for a bloke with a pacemaker (rock and indeed roll, huh kids?) but tonight it can’t be avoided. Danny certainly seems to be enjoying the spectacle of a few thousand oldies pogoing! It’s such a treat to hear this being played live again though! Mind you, if they’d followed it with ‘New Adam, New Eve’ I think I’d have had to have called for breathing apparatus, so I’m thankful that new song ‘Pure O’ allows me a breather simply because…you guessed it, I don’t know the words properly!

Next comes new one ‘Stop’ which I think might prove to be a bit of a classic and it certainly sounds good tonight. ‘A Glorious Day’ then brings the memories of Millennium Square all those years ago in Leeds flooding back. Two similar evenings to tonight as I recall and it really brings it home to me that some of us are lucky enough to have had nights like that and are then still enjoying the band all these years later.

‘Coming Home’ brings the first quiet tears of the night. It’s a superb song and an absolutely brilliant version on the night, but Richard’s line ‘I’d have picked you all up and never put you down’ gets me every time. Another one that’s going to be a classic, I reckon.

‘Refugees’ is then another incredible performance from Richard and it seems this is a song that simply never fails live. It doesn’t matter about the venue, I feel like I’m always witnessing something spectacular when we ‘lift off this metropolis’.

It’s getting late and we’re well aware that at least the first part of tonight’s gig is closing. First there’s a heart felt rendition of ‘Get Out of My Own Way’ which is followed by another new one in ‘Up In Your Feelings’. Then it’s time for another little tear with a stunning ‘Gravity’ – first dance at our wedding, yet I still don’t quite know whether gravity’s turning or pulling – followed by the perfect end to this part of the set, in ‘Ashes’. More jumping, more screaming of lyrics and more keeping an eye on my heartbeat. It doesn’t matter. It’s all well worth it.

I’ve all but given up hope of hearing ‘Wonder’ or ‘Dry Kids’ or ‘Hooligan’ but when Embrace return to the stage it’s great to hear ‘Exploding Machines’ as the encore opener. Then it’s ‘Emily’, ‘The Love it Takes’ and ‘Come Back To What You Know’, before it’s just a massive joyous singalong of ‘The Good Will Out’. And that’s been the thing with Embrace for however long they’ve been in your life…it’s always just been a massive joyous singalong. Everyone smiling, everyone singing, everyone dancing to a band and their songs that simply mean the world; one big family. Danny, Richard, Mike, Mickey, Steve – here’s to the next 30 years!

Middle Age Gigging: Embrace at Birdwell.

Like many others I’m sure, for a long time now the gospel sound of ‘Down in the River to Pray’ followed by Louis Armstrong’s ‘What a Wonderful World’ has sent a shiver down my spine, being as it is the first sign that Embrace are imminent. Tonight, at a new venue for me, things are no different.

So when the lads take to the Birdwell stage, it’s as much a thrill as ever to see them. And with much of new album Avalanche about to be played for us this feels just a little bit special.

Of course, this being the age of social media – and even oldies like me can just about navigate our way round it – the majority of the crowd will have a fair idea about a lot of the songs already. So as the band launch into ‘Stop’, it feels like this is almost as much of a singalong as usual. And this carries on through the first few tracks with ‘Road to Nowhere’ and ‘Up in Your Feelings’. The new songs seem to be hitting just the right note with both ‘Stop’ and ‘Road to Nowhere’ following in what you might call the great Embrace anthemic tradition, while ‘Up in Your Feelings’ has a little bit of an infectious groove. All in all, three songs in and the atmosphere is fantastic.

Danny seems to be on great form and he’s clearly very proud of the new stuff and keen for us to hear the songs. It’s an optimism and confidence that gets more and more borne out as the gig progresses and we hear more of Avalanche.

‘Get Out of My Own Way’, a song about Danny’s wife – or as the man himself puts it, ‘Well it’s about me…I mean, I’m a singer!’ – is soulful and brooding while ‘Emily’ is a quite beautiful and slower number full of heartfelt emotion about a loved one.

The new songs are then wrapped up with the Richard penned ‘Coming Home’ which he tells us is about losing your purpose when your kids leave home. I nod along earnestly at this sentiment, while secretly willing my two out the door, yet knowing that I’ll probably have at least a few minutes where I think I know how he feels! Whether I agree or not, I love the song and am pretty sure that after a few more listens it’s going to one that stays with me for a long time.

The last of the new songs is definitely the one that has intrigued me the most – and I’ve only heard a short clip of it. ‘Pure O’ is what the kids would almost certainly refer to as a banger with Mike and Steve’s drums and bass driving the track on. For me, there’s very much a feel of Ace of Spades to it and so it rounds off this part of the set absolutely perfectly!

The set closes with four more known tracks in ‘Refugees’, ‘Gravity’, ‘Ashes’ and ‘All You Good Good People’ and as you’d expect, it’s truly exhilarating. Richard’s voice on ‘Refugees’ is superb and ‘Gravity’ (being the first dance at our wedding) is always welcome (no tears tonight though!). ‘Ashes’ provides its usual supersonic highway amid a genuine test to my left knee and a second jump cramp for the wife’s calf, before Good Good People closes the night as amazingly as ever.

It’s been a great night, but it’s not over yet, as we all get to pop over to the merch stand to meet the lads and buy stuff that our kids won’t understand, like a lanyard and a Rubik’s cube! Richard even helps us get a photo, hugging us both in close while I struggle with my angles and getting us all in shot! Surprisingly strong that lad! Cheers Rick!

On the drive home we decide that Birdwell might just be the perfect middle age gig. Firstly we get to see Embrace in a small venue. It’s only about a half an hour from our house, there’s free on site parking, we met the band, only had to test the knees and back for Ashes and were home for just after 10pm. I’m in my fifties, you know; life doesn’t get any better than Embrace at the Birdwell on a Tuesday night! What a wonderful world, indeed!

Comedy Review: Mr Swallow: ‘Show Pony’.

Never did I imagine that I’d laugh quite so much at someone doing an impression of their English teacher repeatedly shouting the name “Carly” and yet it’s at that moment of Show Pony that I realise I’ve lost control somewhat. Every time he says it I laugh louder and harder and the longer it goes on the more my face contorts and the more the tears flow. Welcome to the quite wonderful world of Mr. Swallow.

For the uninitiated, Mr. Swallow is the creation of Nick Mohammed, he of Intelligence, Ted Lasso and The Traitors fame. More importantly though, tonight he’s like nothing you’ll have ever witnessed before, making the night an absolute treat!

While there are belly laughs from minute one, tonight’s show starts in a very different fashion as Mr. Swallow takes to the stage wearing rather subdued knitwear and introducing a section on Lego and the sets he’s discovered that have an 18 age rating. Every day’s a school day, eh? Well here’s another lesson; don’t dare attempt to buy a Lego Coliseum if you’re 17 or under!

What follows is a kind of potted history of his career so far from his drama training in Leeds…at Asda, right through to his short lived take on ‘A Christmas Carol’ in the West End, along with the reference to his media awarded and totally false South East Asian status, all of which draws much laughter from the Leeds crowd. And then, unexpectedly it’s time for the support act, followed by an interval. But you know what, if Mr. Swallow wants to go on before and after his support, who are we to argue?

Support tonight is provided by French-Algerian stand up Celya AB who while undoubtedly funny, is a real change of pace and a contrast to Mr. Swallow. Still, there are notable moments here; some observations about Australia that are really clever and some interaction with the audience which seems to spark an ‘I’m Spartacus’ style outbreak of blokes purporting to be called Tim in the audience, which turns out to be very funny. In all, a solid half hour of something very different, which on reflection might just be the perfect way to split up two helpings of what we’re all here to see.

After a short interval Mr. Swallow returns, resplendent in a gold sparkly blazer and an added soupcon of style provided by, as he points out, “shoes with tassles on”. And now the stage is set out kind of like a classroom and we’re regaled with the tale of the character’s origins; his old English teacher who it seems can reduce hundreds in the audience to mush just by repeatedly shouting “Carly”!

What follows is part magic show, part cabaret and some brilliantly observed stories from how not to start a GCSE English exam to a particularly painful casting meeting that definitely wasn’t with the BBC! It’s all gloriously deranged and chaotic.

One of those stylish tassly slip ons is dispatched twice as Swallow shows us his perfectly white feet and then, later on, tells us how his English teacher would hog the limelight and bag herself all the parts while the class read Romeo and Juliet (or Romeo and Janine as it’s dubbed tonight).

There’s also some audience participation, firstly with a subtly brilliant Rubik’s Cube trick, then a similarly excellent card trick and finally a little bit of lie detectoring, which I’m sure isn’t the correct technical term for what happens, but involves five eager members of tonight’s audience trying to fool our host.

There’s also a little bit of subtle social commentary thanks to a broadcaster – that again, is definitely not the BBC – and its diversity policy. And although it’s very funny, there are times when it almost feels like it might not quite be ok to laugh…but they turn out to be absolutely hilarious anyway! If only Mr. Swallow was in possession of two vastly different coloured feet things could be oh so different and he might well be working on a sitcom. As it is, it turns out he’s not quite diverse enough!

The final section of the show is dedicated to Mr. Swallow’s part in the 2024 BAFTAs. The whole thing didn’t quite work on the night and yet it’s turned into just another brilliantly funny section tonight complete with stills from the broadcast on the big screen. It makes for a superb climax to the show and as it’s finished with there’s only one thing for it; Mr. Swallow dismisses us in typical quirky English teacher fashion.

He leaves the stage to a thoroughly well deserved standing ovation. Clearly, it’s Mr. Swallow’s world and we’re all just privileged to have a a bloody good view!

I give Mr. Swallow an almost too predictable…

Rating: 5 out of 5.

And if you’re interested, tonight’s show was being filmed, so you’ll all get the chance to see exactly what I mean when I say that it was easily the funniest thing I’ve seen in years and understand why I left the theatre with a face that ached from laughing.