Never did I imagine that I’d laugh quite so much at someone doing an impression of their English teacher repeatedly shouting the name “Carly” and yet it’s at that moment of Show Pony that I realise I’ve lost control somewhat. Every time he says it I laugh louder and harder and the longer it goes on the more my face contorts and the more the tears flow. Welcome to the quite wonderful world of Mr. Swallow.
For the uninitiated, Mr. Swallow is the creation of Nick Mohammed, he of Intelligence, Ted Lasso and The Traitors fame. More importantly though, tonight he’s like nothing you’ll have ever witnessed before, making the night an absolute treat!
While there are belly laughs from minute one, tonight’s show starts in a very different fashion as Mr. Swallow takes to the stage wearing rather subdued knitwear and introducing a section on Lego and the sets he’s discovered that have an 18 age rating. Every day’s a school day, eh? Well here’s another lesson; don’t dare attempt to buy a Lego Coliseum if you’re 17 or under!
What follows is a kind of potted history of his career so far from his drama training in Leeds…at Asda, right through to his short lived take on ‘A Christmas Carol’ in the West End, along with the reference to his media awarded and totally false South East Asian status, all of which draws much laughter from the Leeds crowd. And then, unexpectedly it’s time for the support act, followed by an interval. But you know what, if Mr. Swallow wants to go on before and after his support, who are we to argue?
Support tonight is provided by French-Algerian stand up Celya AB who while undoubtedly funny, is a real change of pace and a contrast to Mr. Swallow. Still, there are notable moments here; some observations about Australia that are really clever and some interaction with the audience which seems to spark an ‘I’m Spartacus’ style outbreak of blokes purporting to be called Tim in the audience, which turns out to be very funny. In all, a solid half hour of something very different, which on reflection might just be the perfect way to split up two helpings of what we’re all here to see.
After a short interval Mr. Swallow returns, resplendent in a gold sparkly blazer and an added soupcon of style provided by, as he points out, “shoes with tassles on”. And now the stage is set out kind of like a classroom and we’re regaled with the tale of the character’s origins; his old English teacher who it seems can reduce hundreds in the audience to mush just by repeatedly shouting “Carly”!
What follows is part magic show, part cabaret and some brilliantly observed stories from how not to start a GCSE English exam to a particularly painful casting meeting that definitely wasn’t with the BBC! It’s all gloriously deranged and chaotic.
One of those stylish tassly slip ons is dispatched twice as Swallow shows us his perfectly white feet and then, later on, tells us how his English teacher would hog the limelight and bag herself all the parts while the class read Romeo and Juliet (or Romeo and Janine as it’s dubbed tonight).
There’s also some audience participation, firstly with a subtly brilliant Rubik’s Cube trick, then a similarly excellent card trick and finally a little bit of lie detectoring, which I’m sure isn’t the correct technical term for what happens, but involves five eager members of tonight’s audience trying to fool our host.
There’s also a little bit of subtle social commentary thanks to a broadcaster – that again, is definitely not the BBC – and its diversity policy. And although it’s very funny, there are times when it almost feels like it might not quite be ok to laugh…but they turn out to be absolutely hilarious anyway! If only Mr. Swallow was in possession of two vastly different coloured feet things could be oh so different and he might well be working on a sitcom. As it is, it turns out he’s not quite diverse enough!
The final section of the show is dedicated to Mr. Swallow’s part in the 2024 BAFTAs. The whole thing didn’t quite work on the night and yet it’s turned into just another brilliantly funny section tonight complete with stills from the broadcast on the big screen. It makes for a superb climax to the show and as it’s finished with there’s only one thing for it; Mr. Swallow dismisses us in typical quirky English teacher fashion.
He leaves the stage to a thoroughly well deserved standing ovation. Clearly, it’s Mr. Swallow’s world and we’re all just privileged to have a a bloody good view!
I give Mr. Swallow an almost too predictable…
And if you’re interested, tonight’s show was being filmed, so you’ll all get the chance to see exactly what I mean when I say that it was easily the funniest thing I’ve seen in years and understand why I left the theatre with a face that ached from laughing.
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