Newcastle – Middle Age Fanclub

Magpie Moments Episode 5

Welcome along to another episode of Magpie Moments where we look at some of the more interesting things that have happened at our beloved club over the years.

Beardsley goes in goal! Yes, you read that right. There was once a game where club legend Peter Beardsley ended up in goal. And that was only a small part of the story. In April, 1986 Newcastle played away at West Ham Utd. We would end up getting beaten 8-1 with the Hammers scoring four in each half. Our cause wasn’t helped when goalkeeper Martin Thomas went off injured and we were forced to put defender Chris Hedworth in nets. These were of course the days of only having one sub and who was wasting that one spot on a keeper? Things would continue to slide downhill though with Hedworth then also getting injured! Up stepped Beardsley to have a go as we battled on with only nine men. It’s safe to say that things didn’t improve! The game was not only memorable for the scoreline and the amount of goalkeepers, but also for the fact that our ‘legendary’ hard man centre forward Billy Whitehurst scored; one of only seven goals he’d manage in black and white. Oh and as if there wasn’t enough going on, Hammers’ centre half Alvin Martin grabbed a hat-trick!

Shearer’s record breaker. If you were there that day I’m sure, like me, you’ll never forget the noise. A guttural roar that started in the toes of every person present and roared out through the throats in celebration of a legendary achievement. A significant piece of black and white history being made right in front of our very eyes. The goal itself was a fairly scrappy affair. A long kick out from Shay Given was met with a flick on by Shearer. The ball arrived at the feet of Shola Ameobi, who just when it looked like he’d lost it, managed to back heel it into the path of the onrushing Shearer, who held off the challenge of Pompey’s Andy O’Brien and toe poked past the keeper. The celebration was true Shearer; arms aloft, fists pumping, screaming at the crowd. Seconds later, the chant of ‘Shearer, Shearer, Shearer’ rang out and felt like it might never stop, until it did. And when it did, and the game kicked off again spontaneous applause broke out. A moment that I’ll take to the grave.

Keegan on the steps of the Milburn reception. Andy Cole remains to this day one of the greatest strikers to ever wear the black and white shirt. There are still many who rank him as their favourite ever player. So when he was sold, seemingly out of the blue, to bitter rivals Man Utd it’s safe to say that it was a bit of a shock. Such was the shock that some fans descended on St. James’ Park where manager Keegan would come out onto the steps to talk to them and try to allay any fears about their team, ambition etc. In a way it was typical Kevin Keegan; wearing his heart on his sleeve and deciding to confront the situation head on. Those supporters had worshipped him as a player and still did as the saviour of the club and the man now in charge of the team. Keegan explained that the playing style had become predictable and stale and so had sold Cole to prompt a change of direction. Evolution rather than revolution. Of course, there had been a falling out between player and manager, but we weren’t to know that at the time. Instead, Keegan spoke with passion and smoothed things over with the fans, gaining a standing ovation for his troubles at the end of it all. Only at Newcastle United!

Keegan on the steps of the Milburn stand

NUFC: Sandro’s back, olé, olé, olé!

There are loads of things that shouldn’t really be exciting, but just are. The two pence machines at the arcade. Jumping waves with the kids. Getting something that scans at the wrong (reduced) price at the self checkout. Christ, for some of us getting a text or a WhatsApp message still causes a flutter. Truth be told though, none of these can hold a candle in the adrenaline stakes to things like white water rafting, bungee jumping or skydiving and yet there’s still at least a tiny bit of excitement to be had from them.

In a weird way, it’s a similar story with the return of Sandro Tonali for Newcastle United. We’re excited to see him back because he’s one of ours, but truth be told we’ve barely seen the lad play. We’ve certainly not seen anything like the best of him, I’d expect. Still though, there’s a skip in the step kind of feeling to the fact that he’s about to be available for selection once again.

In truth, Sandro owes us, really. We’ve stuck by him, just as the club has. His name has been sung lustily by thousands both home and away, but he hasn’t played in front of us for 10 months. But then, it’s not in the nature of Newcastle fans to hold back when it comes to support. Whether we’ve been telling the world that he “drinks Moretti” and “eats spaghetti” or just giving it the old “Sandro, olé, olé, olé”, we’ve been right behind a player that hasn’t kicked a ball for us in a a long, long time. Yes, there’s always a scapegoat or two, particularly if you enter the cesspit of the NUFC hashtag on social media, but in the main our team can be sure of receiving our backing. It’s just what supporting Newcastle is about. If they’re in the shirt, they’ll be backed by the majority at least. I mean, none of us are in it for the trophies…

Tonali’s ban ends this week and it’s already been revealed that he’ll be in the squad for Wednesday night’s game away at Forest in the Carabao cup. I for one, cannot wait. I honestly don’t know what to expect as well. He was someone who I’ll happily admit to knowing nothing about before he signed – I’d never seen him play. And I don’t play FIFA. So, after only 13 appearances and 1 goal last year, there’s still a lot to learn. To haul out the old cliché, it really is just like a new signing. Which given the window we’ve had as I write, can’t be sniffed at!

Since being banned for breaching betting rules by the Italian Football Federation, we’re told that Sandro has been working hard. “Incredibly hard” in fact according to Eddie Howe. And rightly so, to be fair. He’s trained as normal while also finding time to learn English, which will benefit him enormously. He’s also made numerous visits to Italy to undergo counselling for his addiction.

It’s to be hoped that being able to train regularly with is team mates will have helped help Sandro immensely, acting almost like an extended pre-season. Howe says that Sandro is popular within the group and so it’s to be hoped that he can slot straight into the action quite smoothly. I guess all that’s likely to be missing is match sharpness, but hopefully his reading of the game, natural athleticism and footballing intelligence can compensate in those first half dozen appearances. After that, it’s to be hoped that he’s flying for the rest of the season.

It could be argued that the highlight for Tonali in a black and white shirt was his debut. The link up play with Bruno and Joelinton promised much, the range of passing and the drive to get on the end of the cross and volley in the opening goal, well you couldn’t have written that. Now, after ten months of frustration for all, he’s back and vowing to repay everyone at the club. This far into his career at Newcastle, it shouldn’t be exciting. But it is!

Welcome back, Sandro!

Ben Brereton Diaz v Fabian Schar – what really happened?

So, even though we got three points and recorded a clean sheet in our first game of the new season at the weekend, there was really only the one talking point. What on God’s green earth was Ben Brereton Diaz’s reaction to Fabian Schar’s so called headbutt all about? I mean, I could end this one early and just confirm that he’s a massive cheat, but I’ve been having a think and wrote a few alternative ideas down, just for a bit of fun. Here’s what might have actually happened.

The famous sniper in the stands returns. The same person who got Steven Taylor all those years ago against Villa, the same one who regularly targets Mo Salah and sometimes hangs around SJP to get a pot shot at Miggy.

Or could it be the same one who ‘shot’ at Donald Trump a little while back? And if it made a superhero like Donny fall, then why not a bang average Premier League footballer? Will Diaz appear for his next game with an elastoplast on his forehead like Trump’s famous ear bandage, just to be even more convincing? Maybe, like Trump’s supporters, Southampton fans will follow suit. Who knows? Whatever happens, Diaz will forever look like a tw*t.

Thinking about the future. We all know that footballers have a short career. And gone are the days when they could just go and run a pub when they hit thirty something. So maybe Diaz is thinking of becoming an actor and just getting his audition in early. If they ever remake Platoon, he’s got to be up for a role along with the aforementioned Taylor.

Garlic Surprise? Even the most biased Newcastle fan can’t think that Fabian Schar was entirely blameless. You stick your head in, you’re asking for trouble. That said though…it was all Diaz’s fault, the cheat. But what if Fabian had eaten one of his famous garlic surprise (with extra garlic) sandwiches before the match? Or had a cheeky lamb bhuna for his pre-match meal. I mean, they’re famous for their love of curries in Switzerland, apparently. Death breath plus a very sensitive nose? Could be…

Karaoke? It’s a little known fact that Ben Brereton Diaz is a big, big fan of karaoke. Apparently, he’s got his very own machine. A top of the range one from Tandy with disco lights and everything. Could it be then, that in an effort to diffuse the situation, he was simply bursting into song. I mean, by the look on his face he’s got to be doing Total Eclipse of The Heart by Bonnie Tyler, right? Either that or he’s just a dick.

Hair problems. Fabian Schar leans in towards Diaz’s head and in an effort to pull away and, in the spirit of fair play, not get Wor Fabby sent off he lashes himself back just too quick and gets a stray lock of hair from that frankly magnificent mane in his eye. Listen, back in the day, I too had magnificent long, flowing locks. Or was it a shit mullet? I’m too old to remember. What I do remember though, is picking up a similar injury at a Europe concert at Newcastle City Hall in the late eighties. I think it was during The Final Countdown and believe me, it stung.

Or maybe all of this is just b*ll*cks and the truth is that VAR failed us and Ben Brereton Diaz is a cheat? In the end though, three points is all that matters. Ain’t karma a bitch, Benny boy?

NUFC: The Magnificent 7s

For the whole of the time that I’ve supported Newcastle United I’ve had a bit of a fascination with wingers. From great to good to downright appalling, I’ve always been on their side, always willing them to do well whatever their ability or success rate. Even Wayne Fereday…

Part of this stems from the position I first took up when I started going to games. This was the late 70s and when I was around 6 0r 7 I was lucky enough to get a season ticket. I say lucky enough because of the story surrounding it, rather than being lucky to see a great side. The Newcastle United of this period in time was decidedly average; and that’s me being complimentary.

To cut a long story short, me and my dad got complimentary season tickets because I’d been very poorly and so it was that we took our seats high in the East Stand, where of course wingers came into sharp focus. And so I was sold on them from the start.

I also liked wingers because, like me, they were often slight in their build. Slim, skinny, whatever you want to refer to it as, that was the typical winger’s build. So, because I was built like a lot of them and also played as a winger, they became my favourites.

We’ve had some great wingers in our time. However, despite the likes of Ginola, Robert and Gordon, it’s the right sided players I’ve decided to write about on this occasion. The number 7s. That said, of the ten that I’ve picked out, not all were strictly wingers. They all wore the number 7 shirt with pride though.

I’ve picked out ten number 7s, but will write about five at a time. These are just my choices and I make no claim that they are the best number 7s ever to wear the shirt. However, all of them had something special. Some of them didn’t always play as wingers and also some of them didn’t always wear the number 7. But they were all a Magnificent 7 at some point. Here’s my first five.

Micky Burns. Micky Burns was my first ever favourite player. Yet, it was so long ago that I don’t remember a great deal about him. I can picture him though and what I do remember is that he was small and quick; a busy player who never seemed to stop working for the team. Burns played for us between 1975 and 1978 and scored 39 goals in 145 games. He was actually more of a forward than a winger, but was played – as much as I can remember – on the right hand side, scurrying up and down the flank, pressuring defenders and putting in crosses. A kind of Nobby Solano or Jacob Murphy type figure from the 70s, but without the flair or shithousery. Despite my sketchy memories of Burns, he remains one of my favourites to this day.

Paul Ferris. Paul Ferris was one of those players that should have been the next big thing. And for a moment, he was. But then injury struck and his career was over before it had even properly started. Ferris left Lisburn in Northern Ireland to sign for Newcastle when he was just 16 and became our youngest ever debutant in 1982. Being Irish, the inevitable comparisons to George Best weren’t far away and Ferris was indeed quick, tricky and skillful. His fleeting performances promised much before injury robbed him of a top class career. Ferris only made 14 appearances for us, scoring just the one goal, but for Mags of a certain vintage he’ll always be one who promised so, so much. Paul actually went on to have a successful career as a barrister, as well as working as a physio in our medical department during Kevin Keegan’s tenure and as part of Alan Shearer’s backroom staff. In amongst all of that he’s written books too, including his brilliant biography The Boy on The Shed which I reviewed on the link below.

https://middleagefanclub.wordpress.com/2020/10/19/book-review-the-boy-on-the-shed-by-paul-ferris/

Kevin Keegan. No look at our number 7s would be complete without at least a mention of Kevin Keegan. The then England captain and twice European Footballer of the Year signed for us seemingly out of nowhere in August 1982. I remember it vividly. I was on a beach in Spain on a family holiday and found out the news – in those pre internet days – via the back page of another nearby sun worshipper’s tabloid! It’s safe to say that Wor Kev would go on to transform the club. Keegan was relentless as a player and although he wasn’t a winger, he was a number 7. Despite his advancing years he still had a bit of pace and skill and his know-how would be invaluable in getting us out of Division 2 in 1984. Superstar or not, his work rate was always high and he never shirked a challenge and while Keegan wasn’t a scorer of great goals he was a clinical finisher who made excellent runs and had a happy knack of being in the right place at the right time. King Kev made just 85 appearances in black and white, scoring 49 goals in that time, but his time as a player was transformative. Not only did he give supporters hope, he showed people just what the club could become as well as being a huge influence on future superstars like Chris Waddle and Peter Beardsley. From my own point of view, I don’t think I’ll ever forget Keegan as both a player and a manager. Surely a statue is long overdue?

Kieron Dyer. Dyer was another player who promised much but sadly, delivered on a scattergun basis. Signed from Ipswich by Ruud Gullit in 1999, Kieron was an exciting addition. When he was on form he could be unplayable, but injury and controversy off the field often dogged his career on Tyneside. Personally, I loved watching him play. Dyer had a fantastic turn of pace which was a joy to witness in the same side as the even quicker Craig Bellamy. He was a clever player with an eye for a pass as well as a gift for making runs to get on to through balls. One of my favourite Dyer goals was the one he scored to clinch the win at Everton away in 2000. Alive to a flick on just in his own half he clipped the ball past a defender then surged through towards goal, dinked it over another defender making a last gasp challenge and then just as the keeper came out, Dyer placed a side-footed lob straight over him and into the net. The goal had everything; power, pace, guile, precision and he raced over half the length of the pitch in what felt like about 3 seconds! Being in the away end at Leeds in 2003 as he slammed a close range half volley into the net at the Kop end was a treat too. The lob sums Dyer up, for me though. He just had that cuteness, that eye for something different. His game wasn’t about power; just pace and skill. And then there was the bravery. Dyer was never afraid of getting clattered and while he didn’t necessarily fly into tackles, he never shirked a challenge if it meant moving the ball on for a team mate and then taking a late hit. I think my everlasting memories of Dyer will be firstly his two assists in the Champions League game away at Feyenoord, but probably more famously getting sent off for having a fight with team mate Lee Bowyer on the pitch in the home game v Villa in 2005. I missed the entire incident as my eyes just followed the ball, but it was strange to see the two of them sent off. We’ve all seen the footage since and of course that of Steven Taylor getting sent off in the same game…as a sniper took him out, apparently. If you know, you know.

Len White. Make no mistake about it, Len White is one of the greatest players to ever wear the black and white stripes. A Yorkshireman who was with United from 1953 to 1962, playing 269 times and scoring an amazing 153 goals. He is our third top scorer of all time and yet rarely receives the acclaim that it would seem he deserves. It seems we can list lots of our great goal scorers and not give Len a mention. There’s no statue, little reference around the ground and no spot in the Hall of Fame either, as yet. I never saw White play and have had to rely on my father’s sketchy testimony and a bit of research in order to form an opinion, but by all accounts…what a player. White started as a winger, but would move inside on occasion and notably once Jackie Milburn had retired, to become our striker. I’m told – by my dad – that despite his small frame, White was as brave as a lion as well as being quick, skillful and an expert dribbler. And it doesn’t take a genius to work out that he was a cracking finisher too! With a record of more than a goal every other game, the evidence speaks for itself! White can also lay claim to being one of the last winners of a domestic trophy for Newcastle, winning the FA Cup in 1955 and having a goal disallowed in the final.

So there we have it. My first instalment of our Magnificent 7s with another to come soon. Remember though, these are only my picks and are based around my own opinions and in some cases, some second hand information. That said, who would you add to our Magnificent 7s?

Gallowgate Cult Heroes – Number 1; John Burridge.

There’s an old saying that always gets trotted out when talking about what we’ll politely call ‘journeymen’ footballers. You know the one, ‘more clubs than Jack Nicklaus’. Funny eh? See what they did there? Anyway, the first player I’m going to look at kind of sums up exactly why that old saying exists as he had more clubs than the pro shop at St. Andrews, let alone Jack Nicklaus! My first Gallowgate Cult Hero is goalkeeper John Burridge.

Universally known as ‘Budgie’, John Burridge signed for Newcastle from Southampton in July 1989, leaving almost 2 years later. To this day, he remains the only player I’ve ever turned up specifically early to watch warm up! But more of that later.

Burridge started his league career with Workington Town in 1969, when they were still a league club, before moving on to Blackpool a couple of years later. He then moved around a lot of clubs including, Aston Villa, Crystal Palace, QPR, Wolves and Sheffield United. By the time he’d signed for us he was 38 years old and had been playing for 20 years and had 10 clubs. Newcastle were in the old 2nd division or the Championship, as it’s now known and Burridge had come in alongside other new signings like Micky Quinn and Mark McGhee. Hopes were high for a possible promotion campaign.

Hopes, however, were ultimately dashed and having failed to gain automatic promotion Newcastle famously crashed out in the semi finals of the play offs to the old enemy, Sunderland. In the first leg of the semi, we played away at the old Roker Park and Burridge had his finest cult hero moments in black and white, diving down to his right to save a late Paul Hardyman penalty. But the drama didn’t end there as Hardyman then ran to where Budgie was lying, clutching the ball, and kicked him square in the head! He was immediately sent off, but Budgie was rightly raging!

Despite skiving school and standing in a very early morning queue, I remember that I couldn’t get tickets for that away leg – you see, ticketing isn’t just a modern day problem! However, we managed to get tickets for a beam back of the game at Whitley Bay Ice Rink of all places. In the hysteria following Budgie’s save, I missed the kick in the head entirely and remember just being delighted at the sending off, but completely in the dark as to why Budgie looked like he wanted to kill someone!

Burridge was a maker of spectacular saves, starting with one in the first minute of his debut against Reading when flew across the goal to tip an early header over the bar. So, a good shot stopper in today’s language. He possessed a confidence like no Newcastle goalkeeper I’d seen before too. But with that confidence came many rushes of blood to the head and while Burridge was a keeper who liked to command his area, there were a few terrible errors in there too.

As I said earlier, I quite liked getting to home games early in Burridge’s time, just to watch his warm ups. I was 17 at the time and had never witnessed anything like it! Burridge, who described himself as “a clean living lad” was a big advocate of being in the best condition, fitness wise. If I remember rightly he practised yoga, which was something I hadn’t even heard of in those days! But his warm ups were something else. While others would just be pinging footballs around the place, Budgie would be like a contortionist, stretching himself into ever more painful looking positions, before walking on his hands, one armed push ups or doing something that just looked like he was dancing really, rather than warming up. Follow the link below and you’ll see what I mean. It’s from his Palace days, but he was still warming up in a similar fashion when he played for us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRulE9858eE

Speaking about his fitness and what was needed to play in goal, he once told a reporter, “You’re not a football player, you’re a handball gymnast”. He was a specialist goalkeeping coach at the time and was still making occasional appearances on the bench, despite being 43 by this time.

Another Budgie tale that sticks out for me was when the Toon visited Elland Road to play Leeds in that heartbreaking ’89-’90 season. Leeds would eventually go on to take the title, but we’d beaten them 5-2 on the opening game of the season, so the home team were determined to flex their muscles that day. To that end, as the Toon players walked into Elland Road legend has it that they were greeted by the sight and sound of Vinnie Jones screaming and bench pressing in a weird attempt to intimidate our boys. Budgie’s response was to add 10 kilos to each side of the weights and quickly do ten reps, before telling Jones, “That’s how you do it

By the time Kevin Keegan arrived as manager in 1992 Burridge had departed, heading to Scotland to play for Hibs. He briefly rejoined the club in 1994 as a back up keeper and goalkeeping coach, but despite declaring his loyalty to Keegan in typical Budgie fashion – “I would give the guy my eyes!” – he was soon on the move again.

In all, Burridge had 29 clubs, 19 of which were in the football league. He continued to be a colourful character wherever he went and still holds the record for being the oldest Premier League player of all time. He was 43 years and 162 days old when he played for Manchester City against QPR in May 1995. If my memory serves me rightly, he even played against us in that same season and had an absolute blinder, keeping a clean sheet. Later, whilst player manager of Blyth Spartans Budgie was convicted and fined for selling fake leisure wear and just last year, aged 70, he played in a friendly for Hibs. He even claimed not to be retired in a recent interview.

Perhaps the best Burridge story that I could find though, was the one where Budgie played a whole game for Wolves in a Superman outfit against us in the ’82-’83 season, after making a £100 bet with Kevin Keegan that he’d do it.

Clearly, Budgie was a one off and the type of character that has drifted out of the game in recent years, but it was always a pleasure to watch him play for Newcastle United!

NUFC: ‘We Are Newcastle United’ Episode 1 Howay The Revolution.

From the moment of hearing the first whispers of an Amazon documentary about Newcastle United, I was worried. As a hugely superstitious football fan I couldn’t see anything but trouble. I had no wish for the drama that has always had a habit of following Newcastle United around to be broadcast to millions. However, with our neighbours down the road seemingly cornering the market in cringeworthy football telly, perhaps there was some hope after all. And of course, this is a very different Newcastle United nowadays.

So it was that I sat down in front of ‘We Are Newcastle United’ feeling pretty optimistic, really. I mean, it helps when you know the ending, I suppose, but I was genuinely looking forward to it. So much so, that I thought I’d do a little bit of a review.

Obviously as a Toon fan, I was always going to feel positive about this. The takeover, multiple excellent signings, Wor Flags, Eddie Howe and Jason Tindall and a modicum of success…this was set to be a good watch. And so it proved, with footage of the takeover, signings, Wor Flags, you see where this is going… Wonderful stuff.

The focus of the episode (and it seems the series) was very much the board, while the team, the club, the fans and the community around it would all have a starring role somewhat organically. Hearing Amanda Staveley’s views within the first few minutes made for a heartwarming start. Her talk of falling in love with the club and that spine tingling feeling of being around St. James’ Park very much echoes how we feel as fans and while I understand that this could easily be viewed as simple soundbites aimed at currying favour with the fans, it just didn’t come across that way.

Amanda Staveley comes across as warm, passionate and genuine. The kind of person you’d want looking after something you’ve cherished for years, really. In fact, it felt that way with everyone involved, from Staveley, Yassir Al Rumayyan, through Mehrdad Ghodoussi, Jamie Rueben and even people like Darren Eales. This seems to be an ownership where everyone buys in, everyone supports.

For the rest of the 55 minutes of the episode, Staveley came across as a natural for the job and one of the stars of the show. Knowledgeable, smart, eloquent and sharp as a tack, I for one was left in no doubt about her authenticity and she was a pleasure to watch. And while it would be easy to get carried away by lingering shots of the stadium, the bridges and the flags, that wasn’t the case for me. The passion and authenticity of the owners was there for all to see, with the footage of the fab four – Mehrdad, Amanda, Yassir and Jamie – at the Liverpool game, particularly intriguing. Fans, that’s what I saw. No one mugging for the camera, just supporters bitterly disappointed at the result.

So what else caught my eye and made episode 1 worth a watch? Well, firstly there was Eddie Howe; always focused, always understated and telling the camera that “We’ve achieved nothing, yet” which is both factually correct, if you’re looking for trophies and the like, as well as being the kind of pragmatic, determined approach we’ve come to expect. Certainly, when compared to his predecessor’s ‘ticking over’ approach, Eddie makes for cracking viewing. And of course, we’ve yet to see his sweary Mary side!

The there was the trip to Riyadh and the chairman inviting 100 people over to his house! We’d have had to do that in stages and probably over two or three nights! I might have had to rescue the gazebo from the shed and wrestle that back up as well! It seems that the club have come a long way since the days of Money Mike taking advantage of 2 for 1 pizza offers in local restaurants. His Excellency must have one hell of a semi-detached, mind!

I enjoyed the mini focus on Sean Longstaff as well and of course it was spine tingling to replay the night of the Carabao Cup semi final second leg again. But I think Longstaff came across really well and it was obviously a smart move for the programme to have a ‘local lad made good’ angle. But given what the lad has been through over the last few years, when it looked to be only a matter of time before he left and faded away as another tale of what might have been, this was a heartwarming aspect of the first episode. He paints a mean birdhouse as well and we’d have never known about that without Amazon!

It was great to relive Anthony Gordon’s signing too. A player that I personally have a shedload of belief in. But of course, footage of his signing also brought his one man polo neck tribute to Kraftwerk back into the light too and I for one could never get enough of that.

The episode ended with the sheer raw emotion of the cup semi final win; lots of elated fans, emotional players and Jamie Reuben proving that an expensive private education doesn’t always make you the most eloquent bloke in the taxi. How did he feel on the way to the match? “Nervous, nervous, nervous…nervous” apparently. I shouldn’t laugh because God knows what I’d be like in front of a camera!

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode of ‘We Are Newcastle United’. Of course I did. But bias aside, I thought it was a great watch that portrayed the club and the city really favourably. Yes, it was a little bit slick and stylised at times and maybe not the usual gritty football documentary, but no one’s gone all Charlie Methven or Alan Partridge on us…yet. I’m very much looking forward to the next one.

What do I hope to see in the coming episodes? More Jacob Murphy, naturally, maybe Matt Ritchie making a bug hotel out of broken corner flags with some local young offenders and if possible Adam P calling Chris Wood a ‘big divvy’ when he doesn’t sign his programme.

Star Rating? 5 stars, obviously! A must for all Newcastle fans but a decent watch for football fans everywhere, in my opinion.

NUFC: James Maddison – fatal error or near miss?

So, depending on what version of the news you pay attention to, we’ve either lost out on signing James Maddison or never actually made a bid this summer. Reading tweets from some Spurs fans, it’s no wonder we’ve missed out on Maddison, given that last season was a flash in the pan and that Newcastle is evidently a terrible place to live. Apparently the player himself ‘begged’ Spurs to sign him, after all.

But is there anything for us to feel too concerned about?

In one sense, yes there is. Maddison is undoubtedly a very talented footballer, an experienced Premier League and an England international and he would have almost certainly improved our team. He’s also quite a versatile player, having operated right across the midfield for Leicester last season. With 10 goals and 9 assists in a team that were relegated, his talent is there for all to see and anyone who has watched him with any regularity will have been able to spot just how good a player he is.

However, for me he wasn’t ever quite the right fit for us. Don’t get me wrong, when I heard about the links and realised that we were serious I was quite excited. But, I’d like to think that missing out on him won’t actually prove too costly.

Firstly, I’d argue that he doesn’t quite fit the profile of player we look for. We’re an energetic, fairly physical side who play a high pressing game and while I don’t profess to be any kind of tactical expert, I don’t think that style suits Maddison. I certainly don’t picture him making any lung-busting runs back the way to track back and make defensive tackles a la Joelinton or Sean Longstaff. So, while Maddison would undoubtedly improve our attacking game and be sure to create the chances that could convert draws into wins, I think we’d be in danger of suffering defensively with him in the side. And we’re not short on players who can create chances either.

One area that really concerned me about the prospect of singing Maddison was the all round cost. The fee – if reports of to be believed – of £40m is a good deal, if a little hard to believe given that he was in the final year of his contract at Leicester. However, reports of wages of £170k per week didn’t sit well with me. I understand that this is the reality of modern day football, but it still doesn’t feel right. I understand that we already have high earners in the squad too. I also understand that if we continue with our upward trajectory – and you’d expect we would – it may well become the norm. But not yet, please. Not for me.

We are a club situated in a traditionally working class area and probably one of the most deprived cities in Britain. There’s a highly publicised stall raising funds for a food bank outside the ground for home games, highlighting the deprivation as well as the caring side of the community. So, while I expect that these type of wages may well become the norm, I don’t feel like we should be taking that particular plunge just yet.

My final query about Maddison would be around his injury record. He seems to have suffered with knee problems throughout his career and given the cost, I’m again not sure he’s worth the risk. Our midfield is strong and we’ve already added Sandro Tonali to the quality of players like Bruno, Willock, Longstaff and Joelinton, so unless we’re bringing in a more defensive midfielder, I don’t think there’s a priority there, especially if it’s a player that we may well end up being without for a chunk of games. Next season will be incredibly demanding on our squad, so we can’t take risks on highly played luxury players that may not be able to play a full part.

Just to be clear, there are no sour grapes here. If Tottenham fans want to believe that Maddison has signed because they’re a bigger club or a better bet for success or even because of the London factor, then so be it. I don’t see the rivalry that seems to be being set up and I don’t begrudge them the player. For the record, I believe they’ve got a very, very good player in James Maddison and one that I’m sure I would have enjoyed watching. It’s simply that the fact that he hasn’t signed for us doesn’t worry me that much because I’m happy to simply trust Eddie, the owners and the process.

NUFC: We only went and did it!

The morning after the night before was never going to be the time to write this blog. No doubt we were all fizzing with much the same excitement and glow of happiness as we head towards the end of one of the most successful seasons in the clubs recent history. I sat down to write, but what came out was nonsense, so I left it and tried to sleep instead. I couldn’t do that either!

After years and years of heartache and underachievement, we can finally lay claim to some whiff of tangible success. Still no silverware, but a lot of other things to grab on to. Where before hope was confined to being all about survival, now it’s taken a very different direction. And while I think it’s in the DNA of any Newcastle fan, any football fan in actual fact to allow themselves to dream, now we can begin to dream a lot bigger than before.

It’s fair to say that the ‘evolution not revolution’ plan for NUFC is ahead of schedule. If you’d asked at the start of the season about what we – fans, players, management and owners – wanted out of the season, I think the consensus of opinion would have just been somewhere in the top 10. Top 4 felt like a leap too far, given some of the other clubs that we’d have expected to challenge for those spots.

Monday night changed all that though. An unusually nerve-wracking 100 minutes or so of football saw us grab the point we needed to qualify for the Champions League next year and prompted huge celebrations for Mags everywhere.

I think the highlight for me was seeing Jacob Murphy’s interview. His reaction was part fan, part player and part child who’s wanted a puppy for years and has finally had one revealed to them in the living room when they’ve got back from school. And that’s not me being cruel. I thought it was lovely to see the sense of wonder written all over his face. The lad was just blown away by what we’ve achieved and I guess by the possibilities that it brings.

As fans, we share that sense of wonder. There’s something brilliantly special about European football and those nights under the lights, especially at St. James’ Park. I still remember the Champions League campaign of 02/03. The Juventus game sticks out in my mind, even though I was at all of our home games. The atmosphere was electric as we’d lost our first 3 group games and needed to win this one to stay alive in the competition. We won and I believe I’m right in saying, would go on to be the first side to qualify from the group stage having lost their first three games.

I was in my seat in the Leazes, but alongside total strangers. It turned out there were three Italians sat next to me and I wondered if they were Juve fans. When Andy Griffin scored our winner it became very clear that they weren’t!

It’s been amusing to see the reactions of fans of other clubs. Many seem to be questioning our value to the competition, but rather than doing that, perhaps they should just be questioning why their own illustrious clubs didn’t make it.

I think we’ll hold our own. We’ll undoubtedly add to the squad before then, but we’ll still have the coaching and tactical brilliance of Eddie Howe and his staff on our side too. During the Ashley years, playing in the Champions’ League again was nothing more than a pipedream. Well, now we’ve got it, there’s no point in half measures. I want to see us tested against the best that our continent has to offer. Not only that though, I have faith in our management and players.

Of course there are questions marks over various aspects of the squad and even the management. Let’s not forget that many of our squad and staff will be entering unknown territory at this level of European football. But, let’s see this as a challenge, an adventure, rather than something to fear.

I couldn’t think about the Champions’ League without thinking of the music. Zadok the Priest they call it and it’s one of those pieces of music that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. King Charles even chose it for his coronation and I’d like to think he’d have it as his walk on music if he ever turned those massive fingers to darts.*

Now we all know the tune, but how many of us know the lyrics? Not many I’m guessing. So, I looked them up as part of writing this and it turns out that they’re much more relevant than you’d have first imagined. To cut a long story short, it’s all about being joyful and happy. One line in particular stands out – “and all the people rejoiced, rejoiced, rejoiced”. It’s not exactly the genius of Lennon and McCartney or Morrisey and Marr, but it made me thnik again about those scenes at full time on Monday night. But, perhaps we ought to think about that line in terms of next season too. We’ve dreamed of having hope for such a long time. Now, we have it. Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice.

Enjoy the Champions’ League, Toon fans!

Just so we’re clear, I do know the relevance of Zadok the Priest to a king and I also don’t expect King Charles to be having a go at darts any time soon. It was just a daft joke.

NUFC: Come on, let’s stick together.

I had no intention of writing about Newcastle United at this moment in time. Too many other things taking up my time. But then, as far as Newcastle United is concerned stuff just seems to happen, doesn’t it? And sometimes, when it does, we feel forced to speak up.

I wanted to remind anyone who reads this of the fantastic season we’ve had as supporters of Newcastle United. Because at the moment, from an ever increasing number of sources, you’d think we were fighting relegation again. We seem to have got to a point in time where despite the obvious facts of the matter – we’re an incredible football team and a massive club again – Newcastle United might still be a bit too divided at times.

Following the defeat against Arsenal, some fans couldn’t help but react. The finger of blame was pointed – via social media of course – at some of our players, when in reality it was a combination of factors that led to the loss. Essentially we weren’t as good as we have been, we got a bit unlucky, didn’t quite take our chances and Arsenal did. A lenient ref and a questionable VAR call didn’t help either.

Yet, it felt like quite a few people decided it was the fault of players like Bruno or Joelinton. And while I’m not averse to giving a bit of constructive criticism, I don’t think anyone was to blame for that defeat. Certain players could have done better, of course, but no one handed Arsenal the points. On another day, Botman blocks the first as he’s done all season and we defend the second better.

I think, given what he’s done at the club in little over a year, Bruno Guimaraes should just be praised to the rafters. The lad’s a star and he clearly loves our club. I didn’t think he had a great game against Arsenal, but he certainly wasn’t at fault either. He was clearly targeted from the word go and so it was always going to be a tough game. He’ll be back to his best in no time at all. No need for the keyboard critics to have their often overly emotive say.

The same can be said for Joelinton too. He’s a player transformed and we are without doubt a better side for him being there. As the song says, “we think he’s f***ing brilliant”.

We’re at a stage in the season where the abuse is coming at us from all sides. To be fair, we’ve had it all season, but it seems to be intensifying at the moment. Success breeds contempt, I suppose. It also makes fans of other clubs jealous. So, right now we’ve got the regular baiting coming from Everton and Villa fans in the ‘my dad’s bigger than your dad’ debate. We’re being labelled cheats where others are praised for their game management. Stories of our star players heading to other ‘bigger’ clubs have even started up. Football fans across the country have suddenly grown a social conscience in order to have a go at us for selling our souls too. And there’s even a Twitter account dedicated to criticising our assistant manager. I mean, you know you’ve gotten under someone’s skin when that type of thing happens! For the record though football fans, wind your necks in where Mad Dog’s concerned!

This negativity comes from jealousy. It’s as simple as that. So, we’re subjected to negative judgements of our support, our ownership and our players from certain corners of the media and all corners of social media. It’s the kind of stuff we need to be laughing off. You might say that this is the future for Newcastle United, because in our country, we don’t like success. Build them up to knock them down, that’s what they say in Britain, isn’t it? Team photos after a win? If it was other clubs doing it, their fans would love it too. Drink it in, I say! They also never tire of telling us how much money has been spent, usually inaccurately. And yet, fans of most other clubs would love to have a Miggy, a Sean Longstaff, a Fabian Schar or a Joelinton, all of whom were here before the takeover. But that’s a fact they conveniently ignore.

Rather than criticising our own or squabbling with fans of other clubs desperate to see us fail, why don’t we just focus ourselves? Whatever happens now, there’s European football at the end of it. I get superstitious about predictions, so I won’t make one, but even I can’t ignore the fact that we’re in 3rd place in the league. So instead of negativity and worry, try to remember your season highlights. The 6-1 v Spurs, the grit showed in the 3-3 v Man City at home, Isak’s run against Everton or Maxi’s volley against Wolves. Face it, there are too many to ignore. So take a moment, relax and have a think about the sheer number of amazing moments, results and performances we’ve had this season. I’m sure you’ll have more than the one!

There are four games left now and as a fanbase we have a job to do. We focus on Newcastle United. We support in whatever way we can. Sing your hearts out, wave your flags, wear your lucky pants or say a silent prayer to the footballing gods, but help get this team ‘over the line’ as they say. And if that line leads to the Champions’ League, then that’s amazing. We’ll have deserved it. And we’re perfectly capable of getting the points that we need.

Trust in Eddie and Mad Dog, trust in these players, trust in the process. Whatever these next four games bring though, remember: we’ve come a hell of a long way in the last 18 months. Enjoy it!

Eddie Howe and his staff are always positive. So much so that they’ve transformed some of our players. I wrote in my last article about Jacob Murphy getting ‘Eddied’. Well my friends, let’s stay positive; let’s get ‘Eddied’ ourselves.

Newcastle United: we’ll never be defeated!

NUFC: Just Trust the Process.

There’s a lot said about opinions. These days, everybody seems ready to offer you theirs, on any subject regardless of their ignorance.

John F Kennedy once said that “we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought”, while my dad often used to quote the old saying that “opinions are like arseholes; everybody’s got one”. While both are – as far as I know – true, I think I prefer JFK’s.

I got to thinking about this when the story about Newcastle wanting to sign Scott McTominay surfaced. As an avid user of social media I was immediately made aware of the fact that this was a player that we shouldn’t sign. The only grounds for this opinion seemed to be either that fans like Keith from Gateshead didn’t like him or that, under the new ownership, we could afford to go out and buy ‘better’. The internet seems to mean that every other football fans thinks they’re ‘in the know’. I’m not sure they are though.

Misguided opinions have been around in football for a long, long time. In my own experience one of the first that springs to mind is when we signed Mick Quinn in 1989. Not good enough, came the cry from many, while a banner at a fan protest about sacking the board read ‘Who the f*** is Micky Quinn?’ Many were unhappy that, in their opinion, our new number 9 just wasn’t good enough.

Those of us old enough to remember know that Quinny scored four on his debut in a 5-2 home win against Leeds. He’d certainly answered the question from the banner pretty quickly and he went on to score 57 goals in 110 appearances. It’s safe to say that anyone who had a problem with his signing was guilty of what JFK was talking about – quick to shout up, but with no thought whatsoever.

In more recent times we’ve probably all been guilty of questioning some of our signings. Possibly none more so than the signing of Joelinton. Whatever way you look at it, we were wrong. Yes, there were times when it looked like we had a real point as he became guilty of miss after miss or tripped over his own feet once again. But what did we really know? I for one, hadn’t even heard of him before he signed and I knew very little even about the club we signed him from, Hoffenheim. Put simply, I hadn’t seen him play. Not even on every amateur scout’s favourite place, YouTube.

I think I’d be fairly accurate in saying that Big Joe wasn’t Steve Bruce’s signing. But Bruce was happy to work with him. And work with him he did, sadly almost ruining him in the process. Face it, Bruce would have made Messi look like a carthorse, so Joelinton didn’t exactly have the easiest of starts. But still we were happy to put forward nothing but negative opinions. While I was desperate for him to be a success, I just couldn’t see a player there.

When Eddie Howe came in as manager he was quick to stress the importance of Joelinton to his team. He was very vocal about the fact that they’d identified him as a major player from very early on in their time at the club. And while it took a sending off and a hasty re-arranging of the formation to put Big Joe back in midfield, it worked. Again, what did us fans really know?

“He’s Brazilian…” – The Remarkable Rise of Joelinton.

Being a club with rich owners means that we’ll be linked with a whole host of players, many of whom you or I won’t have heard of. Yet still people offer negative opinions. Not good enough, doesn’t score enough goals, lazy etc. If nothing else it proves that the internet, especially Twitter, is the maddest place on the planet. I simply don’t believe that 99% of the people who offer their expert opinion on the players that we get linked to know the first thing about them. I mean, how can you know? I have a family and a full time job; I just don’t have time for that many scouting trips. None, in fact. I’m sure most of you are the same.

Which brings me on to McTominay. I quite like him. He’s strong, physical, quite quick and has a good deal of Premier and Champions League experience. I’m not sure whether he’d be a signing that would excite me that much or where he’d fit in, but I quite like him. I’m of the opinion, like lots of others, that we’re in need of a defensive midfielder and he’s not it. I’m sure there are much sexier names out there too. But what do I really know?

Football has become a squad game, so McTominay fits in, whether we like it or not. The point is though, I don’t have the luxury of regular chats with Eddie Howe, Jason Tindall, Steve Nickson or Dan Ashworth, so I haven’t the first clue what the plan is. What I do know is that in the last week, McTominay has scored four international goals for Scotland, so he might just be proving himself to someone.

I trust the process and I don’t think I should be part of it. I don’t think you should either, with the greatest of respect. Eddie and his team are doing an incredible job. Personally, I’m just basking in the glow of not having to think about relegation for once and I’ve got Eddie and the team to thank for that.

So, while we’re all on social media offering scattergun negative opinions on 90% of the players we’re linked to, maybe we should all just sit back and allow ourselves ‘the discomfort of thought’. I wouldn’t want Eddie Howe or Dan Ashworth coming in to my classroom and telling me how to teach Macbeth to a room full of disinterested Year 11s. They’re happy to leave the Shakespeare to me. So, maybe I’ll leave the transfers to them.