We Are Newcastle United – Middle Age Fanclub

NUFC: Reasons to be cheerful…

Let’s be honest, even for the most positive and patient of Newcastle fans it’s been a bit of a frustrating pre-season. It seems like a lot of our fans had expected a bit of a spend up after the last second PSR related drama that led to the sales of Yankuba Minteh and Elliot Anderson. Now was the time, in their informed opinion, for us to spend big. In fact, some of them seemed to think that they had a genuine insight into how the PIF work and that now they’d just be throwing money at big name signings.

And yet, here we are. Hardly in crisis, but with some of our fans seemingly apoplectic with rage for a range of reasons such as a £65m transfer taking too long or, at the time of writing maybe not actually happening, a club in a town you’ve never heard of in America being unable to afford Miggy Almiron and well, John Ruddy. Aye, John Ruddy seems to be a very unpopular 4th or 5th choice keeper with some people!

Anyway, in the interest of balance and hopefully common sense, I thought I’d offer some reasons to be cheerful. So, in no particular order, here they are.

The transfer window doesn’t close until August 30th! Now, I’m no mathematician, but that still leaves a decent amount of time for us to make more signings. So that right winger that most crave could well arrive yet! We all know that the last few days of the window are always when it all starts to heat up and so I fully expect us to get some quality in even if it takes until those last few days. And for the real naysayers, that’s also plenty of time for us to get rid of a few too!

Lloyd Kelly and Will Osula. For me, both are very good signings. Hear me out. Lloyd Kelly looks both solid and agile. He’s no slouch either. Fitting in with the Eddie Howe criteria, he appears to be a very good character too and so you’d imagine he’ll fit in well. In my opinion, he improves us even just as a back up, but I suspect we’ll see quite a lot of him this season, should he steer clear of injury. Will Osula is another good signing. OK, it’s all potential and statistically there’s not a lot to back things up, but I’m hopeful that he’ll make the step up and maybe just be inspired by the support that he’ll get. I remember people questioned the signing of Andy Cole at the time and look how that turned out. The lad is young, so let’s give him time. Osula is quick, skillful and athletic which are all good qualities for a modern day striker. And if Eddie can work his magic, then we might just have got a steal at £10m.

Football’s back! I take a different view to most during pre-season in that I actually quietly enjoy the lack of games to worry about. Maybe it’s down to my formative years watching teams managed by Bill McGarry, Jack Charlton and Jim Smith or maybe just a direct result of Mike Ashley’s tenure, but while I miss watching football, I don’t miss the stress of it all and the idiot that it turns me into! Like I say though, I’m definitely in the minority here. So, crack a smile and enjoying getting back to the match, man! And regardless of whoever might be playing right wing, just support the team as you always do!

Sandro olé, olé, olé! By the time you read this it’ll be under a fortnight until Sandro Tonali is able to make his return in black and white. There was a lot of excitement when he signed last year. Here was a Serie A superstar and mainstay of AC Milan’s midfield signing for the Toon! I mean, what a signing! And then he made a great start with a goal and Man of The Match performance against Villa, as well as an unexpected appearance at ‘Spoons too! After that, there were more tidy performances, although he looked like he was still finding his feet a bit. And then, the betting allegations surfaced and all of a sudden he was banned. But Sandro was not forgotten, hence the chant. Sandro Tonali’s return is within touching distance and adding him into a midfield with Bruno and Joelinton is very much a reason to be cheerful.

Joe Willock. Injury restricted Joe Willock to just 9 starts and 5 sub appearances last season and there were times when we missed his guile and hard running. Since signing on loan under Steve Bruce in 2021 he’s played 95 times and scored 15 goals, creating some amazing memories in that time and in the last year or so he’s struck up an excellent relationship on the pitch with Alexander Isak. I, for one, can’t wait to see the lad back.

The future’s bright! In terms of youth, last season was all about Lewis Miley. He was superb and it was a joy to see another local lad break through into the first team. As we gear up for a new season, Trevan Sanusi seems to have had a breakthrough in pre-season and been the standout performer in terms of our young players coming through. And I’ve no doubt that he’s got a real future at the club and will make his first team debut in this coming season. However, he’s not the only prospect that could make strides in ’24/’25. Add in the likes of Alfie Harrison, Cathal Heffernan, Leo Shahar, Alex Murphy, Travis Hernes and even younger players like Anthony Munda and Sean Neave and there’s a lot coming through the ranks that can offer some hope. And don’t forget, another Miley – Jamie – has been performing pretty well in pre-season too!

So, while we might not have got your preferred option in at centre back, right wing or even up front – yet – I’d hope you’d agree that there are still plenty of reasons to be cheerful as a Toon fan! Here’s to a successful ’24/’25 season!

NUFC: The Magnificent 7s

For the whole of the time that I’ve supported Newcastle United I’ve had a bit of a fascination with wingers. From great to good to downright appalling, I’ve always been on their side, always willing them to do well whatever their ability or success rate. Even Wayne Fereday…

Part of this stems from the position I first took up when I started going to games. This was the late 70s and when I was around 6 0r 7 I was lucky enough to get a season ticket. I say lucky enough because of the story surrounding it, rather than being lucky to see a great side. The Newcastle United of this period in time was decidedly average; and that’s me being complimentary.

To cut a long story short, me and my dad got complimentary season tickets because I’d been very poorly and so it was that we took our seats high in the East Stand, where of course wingers came into sharp focus. And so I was sold on them from the start.

I also liked wingers because, like me, they were often slight in their build. Slim, skinny, whatever you want to refer to it as, that was the typical winger’s build. So, because I was built like a lot of them and also played as a winger, they became my favourites.

We’ve had some great wingers in our time. However, despite the likes of Ginola, Robert and Gordon, it’s the right sided players I’ve decided to write about on this occasion. The number 7s. That said, of the ten that I’ve picked out, not all were strictly wingers. They all wore the number 7 shirt with pride though.

I’ve picked out ten number 7s, but will write about five at a time. These are just my choices and I make no claim that they are the best number 7s ever to wear the shirt. However, all of them had something special. Some of them didn’t always play as wingers and also some of them didn’t always wear the number 7. But they were all a Magnificent 7 at some point. Here’s my first five.

Micky Burns. Micky Burns was my first ever favourite player. Yet, it was so long ago that I don’t remember a great deal about him. I can picture him though and what I do remember is that he was small and quick; a busy player who never seemed to stop working for the team. Burns played for us between 1975 and 1978 and scored 39 goals in 145 games. He was actually more of a forward than a winger, but was played – as much as I can remember – on the right hand side, scurrying up and down the flank, pressuring defenders and putting in crosses. A kind of Nobby Solano or Jacob Murphy type figure from the 70s, but without the flair or shithousery. Despite my sketchy memories of Burns, he remains one of my favourites to this day.

Paul Ferris. Paul Ferris was one of those players that should have been the next big thing. And for a moment, he was. But then injury struck and his career was over before it had even properly started. Ferris left Lisburn in Northern Ireland to sign for Newcastle when he was just 16 and became our youngest ever debutant in 1982. Being Irish, the inevitable comparisons to George Best weren’t far away and Ferris was indeed quick, tricky and skillful. His fleeting performances promised much before injury robbed him of a top class career. Ferris only made 14 appearances for us, scoring just the one goal, but for Mags of a certain vintage he’ll always be one who promised so, so much. Paul actually went on to have a successful career as a barrister, as well as working as a physio in our medical department during Kevin Keegan’s tenure and as part of Alan Shearer’s backroom staff. In amongst all of that he’s written books too, including his brilliant biography The Boy on The Shed which I reviewed on the link below.

https://middleagefanclub.wordpress.com/2020/10/19/book-review-the-boy-on-the-shed-by-paul-ferris/

Kevin Keegan. No look at our number 7s would be complete without at least a mention of Kevin Keegan. The then England captain and twice European Footballer of the Year signed for us seemingly out of nowhere in August 1982. I remember it vividly. I was on a beach in Spain on a family holiday and found out the news – in those pre internet days – via the back page of another nearby sun worshipper’s tabloid! It’s safe to say that Wor Kev would go on to transform the club. Keegan was relentless as a player and although he wasn’t a winger, he was a number 7. Despite his advancing years he still had a bit of pace and skill and his know-how would be invaluable in getting us out of Division 2 in 1984. Superstar or not, his work rate was always high and he never shirked a challenge and while Keegan wasn’t a scorer of great goals he was a clinical finisher who made excellent runs and had a happy knack of being in the right place at the right time. King Kev made just 85 appearances in black and white, scoring 49 goals in that time, but his time as a player was transformative. Not only did he give supporters hope, he showed people just what the club could become as well as being a huge influence on future superstars like Chris Waddle and Peter Beardsley. From my own point of view, I don’t think I’ll ever forget Keegan as both a player and a manager. Surely a statue is long overdue?

Kieron Dyer. Dyer was another player who promised much but sadly, delivered on a scattergun basis. Signed from Ipswich by Ruud Gullit in 1999, Kieron was an exciting addition. When he was on form he could be unplayable, but injury and controversy off the field often dogged his career on Tyneside. Personally, I loved watching him play. Dyer had a fantastic turn of pace which was a joy to witness in the same side as the even quicker Craig Bellamy. He was a clever player with an eye for a pass as well as a gift for making runs to get on to through balls. One of my favourite Dyer goals was the one he scored to clinch the win at Everton away in 2000. Alive to a flick on just in his own half he clipped the ball past a defender then surged through towards goal, dinked it over another defender making a last gasp challenge and then just as the keeper came out, Dyer placed a side-footed lob straight over him and into the net. The goal had everything; power, pace, guile, precision and he raced over half the length of the pitch in what felt like about 3 seconds! Being in the away end at Leeds in 2003 as he slammed a close range half volley into the net at the Kop end was a treat too. The lob sums Dyer up, for me though. He just had that cuteness, that eye for something different. His game wasn’t about power; just pace and skill. And then there was the bravery. Dyer was never afraid of getting clattered and while he didn’t necessarily fly into tackles, he never shirked a challenge if it meant moving the ball on for a team mate and then taking a late hit. I think my everlasting memories of Dyer will be firstly his two assists in the Champions League game away at Feyenoord, but probably more famously getting sent off for having a fight with team mate Lee Bowyer on the pitch in the home game v Villa in 2005. I missed the entire incident as my eyes just followed the ball, but it was strange to see the two of them sent off. We’ve all seen the footage since and of course that of Steven Taylor getting sent off in the same game…as a sniper took him out, apparently. If you know, you know.

Len White. Make no mistake about it, Len White is one of the greatest players to ever wear the black and white stripes. A Yorkshireman who was with United from 1953 to 1962, playing 269 times and scoring an amazing 153 goals. He is our third top scorer of all time and yet rarely receives the acclaim that it would seem he deserves. It seems we can list lots of our great goal scorers and not give Len a mention. There’s no statue, little reference around the ground and no spot in the Hall of Fame either, as yet. I never saw White play and have had to rely on my father’s sketchy testimony and a bit of research in order to form an opinion, but by all accounts…what a player. White started as a winger, but would move inside on occasion and notably once Jackie Milburn had retired, to become our striker. I’m told – by my dad – that despite his small frame, White was as brave as a lion as well as being quick, skillful and an expert dribbler. And it doesn’t take a genius to work out that he was a cracking finisher too! With a record of more than a goal every other game, the evidence speaks for itself! White can also lay claim to being one of the last winners of a domestic trophy for Newcastle, winning the FA Cup in 1955 and having a goal disallowed in the final.

So there we have it. My first instalment of our Magnificent 7s with another to come soon. Remember though, these are only my picks and are based around my own opinions and in some cases, some second hand information. That said, who would you add to our Magnificent 7s?

NUFC: Don’t leave me this way!

Whichever way you turn so far this summer, it seems you’ll be hearing or reading about one of our stars leaving. Mostly you’ll hear that FFP, or whatever other set of initials it’s been given, dictate that we have to sell. But then if you choose to delve into the cesspit of social media you might well hear it’s because the player is unhappy or he’s made it known that he wants to join another club. They mostly all want to join Arsenal, for some reason. I can’t begin to think why the likes of Bruno or Isak would be getting in touch with random Arsenal ITKs in order to let them know their plans, but some tool somewhere wants to believe that it’s true.

But should we be living in fear of star players being sold? The answer is that I’m not entirely sure, but what I can categorically say is that there’s possibly never been a better time for the likes of Bruno, Isak and Gordon to put down roots. And that’s sadly not really been the case for a very long time.

As an older Toon fan I’ve watched on helplessly as most of my heroes were sold. In fact, I also had to listen to my dad’s anger when the club sold Supermac. I was four at the time, but let’s just say that he was still ranting about it some years later! Almost 50 years have passed since that moment, so it shows that this certainly isn’t a new problem for fans to deal with.

As I got older and started attending games it just kept happening though. Kevin Keegan deciding to retire was a blow, but that at least couldn’t be helped. But then we started to sell our biggest and best players. The first notable exit was of Chris Waddle who had shone in the promotion side of ’84 and was tipped for great things by Keegan himself. And he’d go on to achieve them…just with other clubs when he was sold in 1985! Another integral part of that promotion side was Peter Beardsley, but he too was sold, this time in 1987 to Liverpool for a record £1.9m fee. The most heartbreaking exit for me though was that of Paul Gascoigne, a player labelled ‘the best in the world’ by none other than Jackie Milburn. Gazza brought in another record fee of £2.2m when he was sold to Spurs, but the money didn’t offer even a crumb of comfort.

In a world without the internet I would be scanning the pages of the Chronicle or whatever tabloid my dad had brought home from work, for confirmation that the club wasn’t going to sell any of these players. I remember vividly convincing myself that as each rumour hit, that the player wouldn’t leave. Naïve me told myself that there couldn’t possibly be a reason for them to leave. To teenage Graham, Newcastle United was the pinnacle of all achievement, football or otherwise.

However, to Waddle, Beardsley and Gazza the club lacked ambition and the rewards they could gain elsewhere made Newcastle’s offerings small fry. While Waddle and Gazza left for the bright lights of London and later Europe, Beardsley went on to win league titles and an FA Cup with Liverpool. Newcastle United under the chairman Stan Seymour and managers like Jack Charlton and Willie Macfaul just couldn’t compete. Worse still, they didn’t really want to compete either. Think Mike Ashley, but 30 years before.

Later on in life, I’d understand as I realised that there were other clubs that were actually much bigger than us and that all those trophies counted for something. I even discovered that I’d have to leave the North East myself in order to find work. But as a youngster looking at the world through black and white eyes, I was angry, frustrated and heartbroken at the fact that over the course of 3 years we’d dismantled a potentially fantastic side and sold 3 local lads on into the bargain.

Fast forward to now and Newcastle United under the present ownership is a vastly different animal. In fact, if they show even a little bit of patience those players will find there’s no need to leave at all.

Most importantly of all, the players are all clearly very happy playing for Newcastle United. And we know that for a number of reasons. Just look at what they’ve said about the place recently.

Anthony Gordon – “I’ve never come to a stadium where I get the feeling of just pure joy…I absolutely love this place.”

Bruno Guimaraes – “I have never felt so loved at a club before. It is lovely how much the fans love me, I love them as well.” He also recently added that he’s “at my best moment in my personal life, in my professional life”.

Alexander Isak – “I am really, really happy at Newcastle. I love everything about the club, the fans, the city. I don’t really have any thoughts of moving or anything like that. I’m having a great time and I’m very happy with my life.”

They don’t sound like players that are looking to move, do they? And I know that they’re only words and that the badge kissing ultimately doesn’t have to mean anything either, but put it all together and it represents a pretty good measure of their happiness on Tyneside.

Aside from something as direct as saying how much they love the place, there are other reasons why these players certainly should stay at Newcastle.

At the moment, these players are part of a very good team. Without doubt – and with a little bit of luck on the injury front – they could be part of a great team though; a Newcastle United side that goes down in history. Despite what some of the more negative side of our fanbase would have you believe, there’s plenty of room for optimism. A Champions League campaign and a Cup Final appearance within the last two years suggests that we’re very much heading in the right direction, especially when you compare that to the previous 15 years or so.

The team that these players are such a crucial part of also have much responsibility, carrying as they do the hopes of so many supporters. These players could be the first to win a trophy in my lifetime, the first to bring silverware back to Tyneside since that Fairs Cup triumph in 1969. Surely, that’s enough ambition right there? By staying and fulfilling their potential these players could go down in history; so why leave and shirk the challenge?

Unlike with regimes of the past, our owner’s ambitions match that of the players. The idea is to win trophies and the owners are spending money and securing financial backing left, right and centre in order to make that happen. The stadium is fairly certain to be developed and a new training ground is being planned. Our facilities will soon be a match those of any club in the world.

There’s no doubt that new players will be added to the squad where possible in every window, especially if the FFP rules somehow manage to get amended. Players like Bruno, Botman, Joelinton, Isak and Gordon are an integral part of what’s being built and to my mind, there’s very little reason for them to leave unless it’s what they desperately want and is too good and opportunity to miss. For instance, I think we’d all understand if Real Madrid came in for any of our top players…unless you’re like teenage me of course!

Clearly, the future’s bright at Newcastle United and players such as Bruno Guimaraes, Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon should want to play a big part in that. There are more reasons to stay than there are to leave, even when we’re looking at the situation through black and white tinted spectacles. Let’s just hope the players see it that way!

‘We Are Newcastle United’; Episode 4 Where Our Lads Belong.

So, after a month worth of episodes, we get to the finale of ‘We Are Newcastle United’. And while we kind of know what happens – it was just last season and the Adidas deal got ‘leaked’ just the other week – it turns out that it’s still well worth a watch.

This one begins with archive footage of that Barcelona game from the Champions League and Tino’s hat-trick, which is timely given the recent Champions League draw. It’s obviously fantastic to watch back, but what occurred to me while I sat watching was what we beat Barca with. So, sure there was Tino, but alongside were the likes of John Dahl Tommason, Temuri Ketsbaia and a 44-year-old John Barnes. OK, that bit’s an exaggeration, but we also had Kenny Dalglish as manager, the bloke responsible for some of the most mind-numbing football I’ve ever watched. Given those facts, maybe our group this year isn’t that ‘deathly’ after all.

As preparations are made for another game, we find ourselves in the posh seats watching the build up to dinner time. As NUFC scran’s version of Eddie Howe reads out the menu, a waitress confesses that she doesn’t know what gazpacho is. Expecting the announcement of a new signing and possible even another twist in the Santiago Munez/Goal saga I shuffled to the edge of my seat only to be deflated almost instantly by the revelation that it is in fact just “cold soup”. Talk about an anti-climax.

Watching the Southampton game again was a strange experience and I sat there feeling just as sick as I did at the time, even though I knew the ending! Amanda Staveley features here too and reveals herself again to be very much a fan, whatever you might think about the PR side of this series. She’s up and down in her seat like a jack-in-the-box and as we watch her at half time it seems she’s just like loads of us are while watching football. But she genuinely doesn’t know whether to watch the second half, feeling that she’ll jinx it, which is certainly akin to my own myriad of superstitions like half time toilet visits, lucky pants, lucky stones (don’t ask) and making sure that I follow the same routine in the build up to any game. Unlike me though, the minute she returns to the inside of the stadium, we score.

Later, we’re treated to another Zoom meeting of the club’s power brokers and not for the first time, it strikes me that the way they all speak feels like the exact antithesis of how it probably used to be. Their knowledge and passion seems clear, whereas a documentary a few seasons ago would have surely just shown Lee Charnley talking through a list of under 23 cast offs we’d taken on trial from other clubs while Mike Ashley sits swigging another can of Carling and picking Doritos crumbs off the front of his latest already grubby George at Asda white shirt. So, if nothing else, the documentary has served as an insight into just how professional the club is these days.

Tonight’s episode is particularly heartwarming with scenes of both Amanda Staveley and Eddie Howe with their kids and Dan Burn paying a visit to his home town and local football club for a Q&A with the youngsters there. All are shown as intense, driven, honest, but also good humoured and fun loving and come across really well. Kieran Trippier also features and when he talks you listen. Again, he’s intense, but what struck me about all four here was how calmly yet passionately they spoke about the club.

And then we’re taken on the journey that we’d all been waiting for. Staveley, Ghoudoussi, Eales et al are off on a seemingly top secret mission and if the broadcaster hadn’t have messed this up a few weeks ago, you can only imagine the excitement at the big reveal. As it is, I’ve decided I’d quite like to work at Adidas HQ, despite the disappointment that their ‘World of Sport’ showed absolutely no sign of Dickie Davies or Big Daddy. But did you see the place? Incredible!

Mind you, despite sealing the biggest deal in the club’s history, I thought the board missed a trick. Now I’m no graduate of Harvard Business School, but I reckon if they’d all turned up clad head to toe in all manner of Adidas clobber and looking like Run DMC, they could well have squeezed a bit more money out of the deal. With that in mind, if anyone at Adidas – purveyors of the coolest trainers on the planet – or NUFC reads this, I’m available for hire. Or a free pair of trainers.

The series closes as we knew it would; with a happy ending. In the midst of it all there’s a shock as Amanda Staveley swears…then cries. Eddie Howe is as humble as ever. And fans and players enjoy one of the greatest nights in the club’s recent history. The message from all is clear: We are Newcastle United…and we might just have a few more happy endings planned too!

In almost closing myself , I do have a few daft observations about tonight’s episode and the series in general.

Tonight, the voiceover has one fan telling us, “We will name our kids after these people”. Now, given my age that won’t be very likely. However, I’m hoping that my future grandchildren Joelinton, Wor Yasir, The Stave, Tripps and Big Dan Burn will take to their names like the champions I expect them to be and won’t get bullied at school.
It was great to see Joe Willock lose himself in the euphoria of the Leicester City game and sing ‘Tell me ma, me ma’ like a fan, but I think he failed his X Factor audition.
Could someone get Dan Ashworth a bigger chair, please?

4. As good as this series was, it would have been even better with 100% more Jacob Murphy.

I’ve enjoyed ‘We Are Newcastle United’ immensely. PR exercise or not, I’ve loved watching it and was glad that we never looked stupid or small time. It’s been reassuring to see how well the club seems to be run and that everyone involved cares. And it’s all been captured very well. At the end we were told that “Something exciting is going to happen”. I hope so, I really hope so!

‘We Are Newcastle United’; Episode 3 Changing The Toon

I must admit to a tiny bit of a crisis of confidence before writing this latest article. I mean, who wants to read my ramblings about a programme they’ve inevitably already watched? But then I remembered that there are shed loads of grown adults out there who video themselves watching live football, swearing their heads off and acting like babies for all the world to see. So with so little to lose, I wrote the article!

If ever there was a collection of images that sums up the change in Newcastle United since October 2021 it’s there for all to see in episode 3. Granted, one side of the images isn’t here, but is undoubtedly etched in the mind of all of us. I talk of course of the players taking ice baths in wheelie bins and paddling pools during Mike Ashley’s reign. In this episode though we see the enormous changes in recovery technology brought to Newcastle by the new regime with a glimpse of the new hydro therapy pool. The difference is massive and the progress is there for all to see. Professional athletes being treated like professional athletes; who knew that this might help?

Later in the episode, while visiting Atlanta ahead of the Premier League Summer Series, Darren Eales refers to Newcastle as ‘a 130 year old start up’ creating a stark image of what the new owners must have found when they first arrived. Graeme Robson of Wor Flags later talks candidly about the fact that the new money can’t be ignored, but really all we wanted was for the club to be run properly. Not very convenient for the narrative touted by a lot of the media, but the truth all the same and a truth that ‘We Are Newcastle United’ needed to convey.

In this episode the players and the fans move more into focus. We start with Alexander Isak’s brace against Forest away and are reminded of the karate kick finish for the first. A hell of a goal and a hell of a start to what I must say has been my favourite episode so far.

As we move on to the build up to the home game against Manchester United it’s hugely positive. For me, the insight into the small touches by Eddie Howe are really interesting. Just things like greeting every player as they arrive at the training ground – ‘How’s that knee, Joe?’ – and then the enthusiasm on the training pitch and the encouragement – ‘Yes Cal…love that Callum’ are just lovely. I’m not naïve enough to think it’s anything special either, but you get the feeling that this is relentless from Howe and his staff. I, for one, would thrive hearing that type of thing every day.

Later in the show, when asked about the Carabao Cup Final defeat, Eddie tells the interviewer that ‘Any defeat you have is always in there, somewhere.’ Again, it’s the attention to detail and the steely determination that we all love, especially when defeats under the last regime were greeted with unwanted days off for the players and impromptu holidays for the manager. Not every time – no one can afford that many holidays – but enough so that every time that Eddie speaks you admire him just a little bit more. Although after a while, I’d have to tell him that my name’s not actually Callum…

Next there’s a focus on the lads and lasses at Wor Flags with an insight into their work and the preparation that went into the huge surfer flag that covered the bottom tier of the Leazes. Firstly, this serves to show the dedication of the fans – from those that donate money to make it all possible to the volunteers who put everything in place and organise the whole thing. Secondly though, it confirms that I’d be absolutely no use to them. While they’re unfolding, hauling and precisely positioning flags that cover almost an entire stand and weigh half a tonne, I still have to have my wife guide me through the folding up of a picnic blanket. I guess there are levels to this kind of thing, but it serves to illustrate the passion and dedication that is felt around Newcastle United.

As episode 3 rolls on to the Manchester United match, it’s hard to imagine the stadium looking any better and while some of the camera work is very much reminiscent of shows like The Apprentice, it’s very much appreciated. St. James’ Park is always an impressive sight and a thing of beauty but the documentary really celebrates the place here. The surfer flag looks incredible, but Wor Flags member Graeme’s excitement and pride is arguably even better.

This was by far the most emotional episode so far for me personally. I know lots of people said that the cup final footage brought them to tears, but not me. However, seeing the scenes in the dressing room both before the Manchester United game and at half time almost makes me crack.

Callum Wilson’s story later on, adds to the raw emotion and gives us an intriguing insight into not just the player, but the man and what makes him tick. The smile is infectious and instant, almost making it hard to imagine what he has gone through to get to this stage. But then key words like ‘turmoil’ and ‘adversity’ dominate during the visit to his old school and for me it serves to show that Callum Wilson found not just a football club, but a home when he joined Newcastle United. Wilson has played a massive part in its upturn, yet even in these more positive times he’s quick to flag up the importance of hunger and anger in achieving his goals. And I think it’s quite a neat parallel to the anger and determination of the fans in almost forcing change a couple of years ago.

And then, alongside some beautiful sweeping shots of the stadium and the odd bridge, we hear from some of the fans about the importance of Newcastle United. Again, there’s a big contrast here. Firstly, a Hindu fan speaks beautifully about the club being ‘the great equaliser in the city’ and how, when the time comes, he wants to be reincarnated as a Newcastle fan. Then we hear from 4 primary age kids, perched on a wall and one of them reflects about his sadness at the season ending soon, but that ‘summer’ll be good…wi’ hot tubs and that’. I’d like to think that they both speak for us all in their own way!

Speaking of speaking for us all, I’m sure I’ll be doing just that when I say that Anthony Gordon’s enquiries about pillows had us all on the edge of our seats. After already packing in quite a bit of drama, Gordon’s sleepy time enquiries promise to ramp it up another notch. Pillowgate turns out to be a bit of a let down though, with no one bar Anthony himself giving a shit. Even Nick Pope’s revelation that he sleeps with a pillow between his legs falls strangely flat. Still, if anyone was ever curious about how many pillows the likes of Gordon and Tripps sleep with, they got their answer.

At the end of the episode we get to re-live the remarkable events of the Spurs game. An extraordinary performance that will live long in the memory of every fan. As the goals flow and a rival is thoroughly humiliated the voiceover states, ‘What a time to be a Newcastle United fan’. I’ll drink to that and look forward to episode 4, but before I do, I have a question.

Has anybody else noticed the woman in the opening credits – and she’s there at the Spurs game too – arms aloft in celebration just shouting ‘No…no’? See, some of us are so wrapped up in the joy of this club that we forget how to celebrate. Newcastle United, that.

‘We Are Newcastle United’; Episode 2 Tell me ma, me ma.

I know that lots will view this programme as mere PR – and they’d have a case too -but I for one, am thoroughly enjoying it. Thus, from the moment the ever engaging Amanda Staveley states that “the city is just alive” I’m invested in episode 2. Call me simple, but I just love watching things I love on the telly!

Episode 2 covers the awkward subject of the Carabao Cup final; its build up and the actual game itself. And while I understand that the focus of the show is on the boardroom – or Alnwick Castle as it’s known in these circles – I think the episode suffered a little bit by not covering slightly more in terms of the fans here. Surely there were more stories to be told given the length of time between out last and latest appearances at Wembley? But perhaps I’m being hyper critical because actually, I think the story that was told, was told very well.

From the moment a Toon fan expertly catapults the wire attached to the giant Newcastle top over the shoulder of the Angel of The North, we’re getting a flavour of what this all means. No other fans mess about with Antony Gormley’s statues in the way that we do! In between various Geordies telling us of their excitement there are sections of board meetings and it displays just how tirelessly Staveley and the gang are working to take the club forward. It made me laugh when Peter Silverstone said that they’ve contacted 1193 companies in their pursuit of a shirt sponsor as I’m guessing that Lee Charnley was working at slightly different levels when he got Fun88 to part with a few million.

As a seasoned telly watcher, I also think that I may have uncovered how the series ends. The key is in Amanda Staveley referring to literally everyone as ‘my angel’. With this in mind, I’m now wondering if the last one will end a la Spartacus, with first Callum Wilson, then Eddie Howe, Miggy, Bruno, the tea lady, several of the ball boys and girls and all of Wor Flags claiming “No, I’m Amanda’s angel” before finally everyone agrees that in actual fact it’s Bruno’s dad that’s Amanda’s angel…and everybody else’s by the looks of things in this episode. Sorry, if that becomes a spoiler, by the way.

Suddenly though, it’s cup final day and we hear what it means to the local lads in the squad. Dan Burn tells us about going to games and worshipping Shearer – I’m Alan’s angel, by the way Dan – before making an impassioned dressing room speech, but it’s not that that impressed me. No, I was more impressed by the slow-mo shot of Big Dan rising to make a defensive header in training, which only needed a bit of David Attenborough over the top of it in order to be awarded a Bafta, in my opinion. I’m not ashamed to say it, but I think it made me fall a little bit in love with Blyth’s finest.

Other highlights included the old lad in the pub who told his mate, “Peter, if it’s 1-0…I wouldn’t be able to to do anything. I’d be pissed out me brains!” I think it summed it up for a lot of us who simply can’t put into words how much some success would mean. Get that lad a statue, I say!

Episode 2 also gave mackems the first chance to play their inevitable game of ‘FTM Bingo’ with one Newcastle fan referring to the Geordie Nation and then some Sam Fender played underneath a section of the show at one point. Still not enough for them to get a line, let alone a full house though, so no doubt they’ll be sat there with their dobbers in hand, salivating again next week…some might say as usual!

Watching the footage of the Carabao Cup final didn’t feel emotional for me and I know that from social media some people have said that they shed a few tears. Sure, it was a tough watch to see various faces going through the emotions and people like Dan Burn just gazing forlornly into the crowd at the end. For me though I thought that the show covered it well and in fact, it just made me think that those lads will remember that feeling, as we all will and we’ll be better next time. And there will be a next time.

After that we were back with the big guns on the board, with Peter Silverstone taking us into the commercial department, which was illuminating about the state the club had been left in. The revelation that we only have about 40 staff charged with bringing in commercial income whereby a club like Arsenal have around 150 is the kind of detail that us ordinary fans probably never think about, but it illustrates perfectly the amount of catching up the club have got to do.

And then we were privvy to a Zoom call where catching up was the whole agenda with the announcement of the Sela deal and the fact that we were finally earning more than just enough to cover Mike Ashley’s crisp budget from our front of shirt sponsor.

The episode ended on a happy note with the victory over Wolves and the season getting back on track. I have a feeling that Miggy was Amanda Staveley’s special angel that day.

So, now we’re set up for episode 3 and an incredible upturn in results and performances, as well as the emergence of Eddie Howe channeling Rab C Nesbitt and swearing like a trooper. It’s safe to say I’m really enjoying the show and actually, even though fans or players aren’t really the stars here, it’s an interesting take on the club. There’s still not enough Jacob Murphy, mind you…

NUFC: ‘We Are Newcastle United’ Episode 1 Howay The Revolution.

From the moment of hearing the first whispers of an Amazon documentary about Newcastle United, I was worried. As a hugely superstitious football fan I couldn’t see anything but trouble. I had no wish for the drama that has always had a habit of following Newcastle United around to be broadcast to millions. However, with our neighbours down the road seemingly cornering the market in cringeworthy football telly, perhaps there was some hope after all. And of course, this is a very different Newcastle United nowadays.

So it was that I sat down in front of ‘We Are Newcastle United’ feeling pretty optimistic, really. I mean, it helps when you know the ending, I suppose, but I was genuinely looking forward to it. So much so, that I thought I’d do a little bit of a review.

Obviously as a Toon fan, I was always going to feel positive about this. The takeover, multiple excellent signings, Wor Flags, Eddie Howe and Jason Tindall and a modicum of success…this was set to be a good watch. And so it proved, with footage of the takeover, signings, Wor Flags, you see where this is going… Wonderful stuff.

The focus of the episode (and it seems the series) was very much the board, while the team, the club, the fans and the community around it would all have a starring role somewhat organically. Hearing Amanda Staveley’s views within the first few minutes made for a heartwarming start. Her talk of falling in love with the club and that spine tingling feeling of being around St. James’ Park very much echoes how we feel as fans and while I understand that this could easily be viewed as simple soundbites aimed at currying favour with the fans, it just didn’t come across that way.

Amanda Staveley comes across as warm, passionate and genuine. The kind of person you’d want looking after something you’ve cherished for years, really. In fact, it felt that way with everyone involved, from Staveley, Yassir Al Rumayyan, through Mehrdad Ghodoussi, Jamie Rueben and even people like Darren Eales. This seems to be an ownership where everyone buys in, everyone supports.

For the rest of the 55 minutes of the episode, Staveley came across as a natural for the job and one of the stars of the show. Knowledgeable, smart, eloquent and sharp as a tack, I for one was left in no doubt about her authenticity and she was a pleasure to watch. And while it would be easy to get carried away by lingering shots of the stadium, the bridges and the flags, that wasn’t the case for me. The passion and authenticity of the owners was there for all to see, with the footage of the fab four – Mehrdad, Amanda, Yassir and Jamie – at the Liverpool game, particularly intriguing. Fans, that’s what I saw. No one mugging for the camera, just supporters bitterly disappointed at the result.

So what else caught my eye and made episode 1 worth a watch? Well, firstly there was Eddie Howe; always focused, always understated and telling the camera that “We’ve achieved nothing, yet” which is both factually correct, if you’re looking for trophies and the like, as well as being the kind of pragmatic, determined approach we’ve come to expect. Certainly, when compared to his predecessor’s ‘ticking over’ approach, Eddie makes for cracking viewing. And of course, we’ve yet to see his sweary Mary side!

The there was the trip to Riyadh and the chairman inviting 100 people over to his house! We’d have had to do that in stages and probably over two or three nights! I might have had to rescue the gazebo from the shed and wrestle that back up as well! It seems that the club have come a long way since the days of Money Mike taking advantage of 2 for 1 pizza offers in local restaurants. His Excellency must have one hell of a semi-detached, mind!

I enjoyed the mini focus on Sean Longstaff as well and of course it was spine tingling to replay the night of the Carabao Cup semi final second leg again. But I think Longstaff came across really well and it was obviously a smart move for the programme to have a ‘local lad made good’ angle. But given what the lad has been through over the last few years, when it looked to be only a matter of time before he left and faded away as another tale of what might have been, this was a heartwarming aspect of the first episode. He paints a mean birdhouse as well and we’d have never known about that without Amazon!

It was great to relive Anthony Gordon’s signing too. A player that I personally have a shedload of belief in. But of course, footage of his signing also brought his one man polo neck tribute to Kraftwerk back into the light too and I for one could never get enough of that.

The episode ended with the sheer raw emotion of the cup semi final win; lots of elated fans, emotional players and Jamie Reuben proving that an expensive private education doesn’t always make you the most eloquent bloke in the taxi. How did he feel on the way to the match? “Nervous, nervous, nervous…nervous” apparently. I shouldn’t laugh because God knows what I’d be like in front of a camera!

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode of ‘We Are Newcastle United’. Of course I did. But bias aside, I thought it was a great watch that portrayed the club and the city really favourably. Yes, it was a little bit slick and stylised at times and maybe not the usual gritty football documentary, but no one’s gone all Charlie Methven or Alan Partridge on us…yet. I’m very much looking forward to the next one.

What do I hope to see in the coming episodes? More Jacob Murphy, naturally, maybe Matt Ritchie making a bug hotel out of broken corner flags with some local young offenders and if possible Adam P calling Chris Wood a ‘big divvy’ when he doesn’t sign his programme.

Star Rating? 5 stars, obviously! A must for all Newcastle fans but a decent watch for football fans everywhere, in my opinion.