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Gallowgate Cult Heroes: Number 5 Barry Venison

It’s still quite rare for a player to cross the divide between black and white and red and white. In my lifetime there haven’t been that many and even if we go right back in time, a player who played for both is usually rare enough to grab a bit of attention. However, it’s even more rare for one of these moves to be deemed a success. Just ask Lee Clark or Michael Chopra!

Arguably one of the biggest successes in playing for both Newcastle and Sunderland would be Barry Venison who was adored during his time at both clubs.

Venison arrived at Newcastle from Liverpool in a £295,000 deal. We were in the second tier of English football, having just escaped relegation to Division 3 at the end of the previous season under Kevin Keegan. King Kev was now assembling a squad for a promotion challenge, with the Premiership (now the Premier League) only a year old. Venners would become a key component in that Championship winning season.

Barry had, of course, started his career at Sunderland in 1981. He would become their captain at just age 20, eventually playing a total of 205 times and becoming the youngest player to captain a side at Wembley when our lovely neighbours lost the 1985 Milk Cup. He would leave for the all conquering Liverpool side of the 80s in 1986 in a £200,000 deal and stay there for 6 years before he joined us.

Venison brought much needed big game experience and guile to a squad that, while it was being overhauled, still contained many of the squad from the previous almost disastrous campaign. The likes of Lee Clark, Robbie Elliot and Steve Howey would learn a lot from Venners and his influence would be felt by incoming future superstars like Rob Lee and Andy Cole too. So while Brian Kilcline would start the season as captain, Venison was very much the power behind the throne and would eventually take the captaincy when Killer was out of the side. A latter day Kieran Trippier, if you will. Just with bigger hair.

Undoubtedly, part of Venison’s appeal was his sense of ‘style’. He was no ordinary everyday footballer with his long, flowing blonde locks and unique fashion sense. He was the closest thing we’d get to Miami Vice on Tyneside and some of his choices were legendary. He embraced bleached bootcut jeans and at times even paired them with cowboy boots, while on his wedding day he wore a pink suit, looking every inch the Don Johnson lookalike and outshining his bride at the same time!

A tough tackling, hard running overlapping right back he quickly became a firm favourite with our fans. And although he would only ever score one goal for the club, he was always at the front of the queue when celebrating other people’s goals. Barry simply loved the celebrations and could regularly be found piling in on top of those shaking their fists at the crowd!

After winning the Division One championship, Venners continued as a regular at right back in the team that brought European football back to St. James’ Park for the ’94/95 season. However, that would be the season where his partying pushed one too many of Keegan’s buttons and he was stripped of the captaincy. He would also lose his spot in the team at right back after Marc Hottiger was brought in.

However, Venison was then reborn, converted to a holding midfielder by Keegan. He took to the position like a duck to water as well and was called up by England in the same season.

Barry Venison was what we might call a character. Someone who threw himself into life as a footballer and who – in terms of the modern day footballer – it could be argued, very much made the most of his slightly limited ability. He would move on to Galatasaray at the end of the ’94/’95 season but would live long in the memory of many a Mag. A cross between some kind of catalogue model and a slightly effeminate Viking, Barry more than successfully crossed the divide and his red and white background was never held against him.

The Apprentice 2024 – a few observations on episode 1…

I’ll confess that I’d forgotten about The Apprentice this year. And if I’d have remembered, I probably would have been reasonably adamant that I wasn’t going to watch it. Same old fame hungry, obnoxious parade of fools, same old Lord Sugar wisecracks and same old tasks. Somehow though, when we realised that our series link on Sky was taping it, we found ourselves drawn to the familiarity of the whole thing. So, what did I find in episode 1?

In short, it was the same old fame hungry, obnoxious parade of fools, the same old Lord Sugar wisecracks and the same old tasks…and yet, I was gripped throughout!

I missed the first few minutes – busy with hunting down less than healthy snacks, I’m afraid – so if there were the usual claims of invincibility, possession of the world’s greatest personality or superhuman sales powers, then I wasn’t there for that.

I joined the candidates – not literally – in the boardroom where Lord Sugar introduced us to this year’s two tables full of business jesters and it felt like his pre-written ‘off the cuff’ jokes about the candidates were more obvious than ever. Mind you, he had everyone chuckling loudly along; but then what else are you going to do when your fate lies in his hands? I mean, imagine the year when someone pipes up with an unexpected comeback…

One candidate had listed himself as a combination of brains and beauty on his CV, to which Sugs added “and bollocks”. And it’s wit like that, as well as a wonderful gift for alliteration that keeps us all glued to the screen, isn’t it? That said, this bloke was hardly George Clooney, so maybe our resident Lord was just being accurate, rather than funny.

This year, there’s a twist; the first task is the corporate away day task, rather than the finding items one and while I’d been my usual cynical self to this point, now even I’m taking a sharp intake of breath. I mean, this can only go wrong, surely. Thankfully – spoiler alert – wrong is very much the word here.

The teams are split into girls and boys and if they’re given a witty business name, then I don’t catch it. Tonight, they’re off to the highlands of Scotland and so when Virdi volunteers to be project manager and then says he’ll treat the clients to some bhangra dancing, it’s a bit of a surprise. I’d innocently expected something a bit more traditional, but maybe that’s why I’m still an English teacher rather than a business titan.

As both teams plan their ‘experience’ it’s hard not to use your foresight and spot where it might all unravel. Especially tonight, when every plan sounds fraught with danger and the chance of throwing money away. On the boys team someone promises to ‘bring the pardy’ – yep, not ‘party’ – and I’m immediately wondering if perhaps his last pardy was for his own 5th birthday. Meanwhile, the girls decide that the world class highland games athlete isn’t needed for their own mini highland games, so they’ll just do it themselves. I mean, it’s only throwing tree trunks and boulders about, so what could possibly go wrong when you don’t really know what you’re doing?

Over on the boy’s team they’d decided that offering a welcome drink of a glass of water to their corporate clients was a good idea and – hands up if you can see something going wrong here – the team running the activity had told the team doing the food to have it ready for 2.15, on the dot. Don’t anyone worry though; these are young titans of business, so someone’s absolutely sure to be keeping an eye on the time.

Speaking of food teams, there’s something not quite right about the fishcakes that the girls are making for their client’s dinner. And at the same time, the mix for the rhubarb crumble has gone missing. I mean, they couldn’t have, could they? Turns out they could.

The editing on The Apprentice is always brilliantly done and cut together to make sure that the narrative fits together in a way that means you’re never quite sure who will win and where the next point of tension will come from. In the opening episode we get just enough of a tease about the crumble fishcakes, followed by no further reference to them until right before they’re being served up. As a result, the tension was palpable as they were served up, with no one sure of what was about to happen. I have to say that the slow reveal of the client’s facial reaction as the sweet fishcakes hit their tastebuds was a thing of beauty! But the unwitting candidates reacted well, with Sam pacifying them the promise of a dessert that would be to die for, which it turns out, had the eaten it, they almost certainly would have.

As we wondered what the client was going to eat, we left the girls camp to head back to the boys, where ‘surprise, surprise’ the activity had run over. Cut to the kitchen and the food is out, but 2.15 has very quickly become almost 3pm! The result? In a staggering display of not actually grasping the gravity of the situation, Asif and Tre pretty much blamed the kitchen staff!

And when we then saw the clients tapping the sausages off the plate and heard the accompanying ‘clang’ it was hard to argue about where the blame should lie…unless you knew about the 2.15 deadline, that is! Again though, the story here – and the comedy – is in the faces of everyone involved. The poor hungry clients who’ve paid hundreds of pounds for a bit of a walk, some bhangra dancing, a toe curling episode where Virdi does some horrendous MCing and genuinely asks the client to ‘make some noise’ not once, but twice, followed by some toad in the hole, are horrified!

Amazingly for the entertainment offered up by the boy’s team, the best is yet to come and in fact, will be offered up in instalments in what remains of the episode. And the first instalment, there’s not long to wait as despite the enormous levels of sheer disaster about the whole day, Jack still has the sheer brass neck to ask if anyone would like to give a tip!

In the boardroom, I’m fully expecting a history making multiple sacking, with Lord Sugar’s pointy finger working overtime. Both teams have to give refunds, but despite the girl’s making a measly £122 profit, it’s the boys who lose after a 52% refund turns their profit into a staggering loss! The comedy reaches its peak when one of them initially claps and whoops a bit, explaining that he thought they’d made £300 profit and won. The silence is deafening. This guy is not being given a quarter of a million pounds of Lord Sugar’s money!

In then end, despite organising surely one of the worst corporate days out in history, project manager Virdi is saved for ‘having the balls to step up’ according to Lord Sugar. Or was it just because here is a man who has only given the tiniest glimpse of his capacity for entertaining the nation? We’ll find out in the coming weeks.

For now though, it’s Oliver who’s fired, seemingly because he just looked a lot more gormless than the rest of the lads, which is an achievement in itself.

I can’t promise a review every week, but I can promise that The Apprentice is sure to serve up some classic comedy in the coming months. If only that was the remit…

Always Look on The Bright Side: 5 Things that Made Me Smile in January.

I’ve not written one of these types of blogs for a little while. It’s not been a case of everything being terrible during that time; more just being incredibly busy. And anyway, who really needs a blogger telling them that Christmas makes them happy?

I went into January purposely telling myself to be positive. It’s not a month that I’m a great fan of and I decided that if I just forced myself to be relentlessly positive, it might make it easier to get through. And while I wouldn’t say that it’s been a resounding success, it’s definitely been helpful. This attitude did mean that I actively sought out reasons to be cheerful.

So, what’s made me smile this month?

The tidy Welsh mouse. I loved this and I couldn’t stop watching the accompanying video. It’s a BBC report about a retired postman in Wales who was baffled by the fact that bits and pieces kept getting tidied away in his shed at night. Seeking an answer to this mystery, he set up a night vision camera on his workbench. When he watched footage back he was greeted by the fantastic sight of a mouse tidying stuff like nuts, bolts and pegs away into whatever container had been left out.

And it got better – Rodney (our retired postman) then started experimenting by leaving different types of objects out, but whatever he left got tidied away! The only disappointment was the name that he gave the mouse; Welsh Tidy Mouse. I mean anything would have been better than that! Anyway, you can watch the little fella on the link below. The mouse that is, not Rodney.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-67902966

Newcastle United winning the derby. If you’re not a football fan or just have no knowledge of Newcastle United and our derby match, allow me to fill you in. Our closest geographical rivals are called Sunderland. However, we haven’t played them in a long time due to being in different divisions. Well, this all changed when we were drawn to play against each other in the FA Cup in early January.

The lead up to the game was tense, to say the least and there was the usual back and forth about who would win between the two sets of fans. It’s an intense rivalry, to say the least.

It’s a game I really don’t enjoy and the nerves are horrendous. Suffice to say, come the day of the game I was unusually quiet and felt very sick indeed. I needn’t have worried though, as we wound up winning the game fairly easily (3-0) and it was an absolute joy to behold. Football eh? It’s only a game and yet somehow, it’s really much, much more than that!

Making plans for a bit of a meet up. I live a long way from both of my childhood best friends. One of them, I see a few times a year as he lives in the town where I grew up, so a visit to see family will always take in a meet up with him and his family.

However, the other spends a lot of his year living abroad as part of his job. We haven’t seen each other in a good few years, so when we were exchanging messages a few months back we came up with the idea of a meet up. It’s something we’ve often floated in the past but it just never seems to happen.

This time though, things are looking good and the provisional idea is that we’re going to meet somewhere that is reasonably equidistant to our houses and go for a hike. It might be in the Peak District, which also happens to be one of my favourite regions of England. We’ve not quite got anything concrete planned as yet, but I’m right in the middle of planning and for once, it looks like we will actually see this one through. Definitely a reason to smile.

Some good news on the running front. Regular readers of my blog will be familiar with my love of running. People who are new to the blog, forgive me; it’s something that I never tire of banging on about and I’m probably very much a running bore!

Anyway, so far this January I’ve managed to get myself entered for two 10k races – one in March and one in May – and my training is going fairly well. I’ve not pushed myself too hard, but have still been regularly going out and running between 5 and 6 miles a week. And as of yesterday, I learnt that the 10k I’m taking part in this March will also feature several mates from work, which is always good fun. It’s always lovely to see people at these things, not least because they’re all incredibly encouraging.

I still get incredibly nervous at these things and nowadays am always worried that something will go wrong and that I’ll have another episode with my heart, however unlikely that might be. So, when I’m getting ready to run, I know that I’ll probably bump into someone that will ask about my health, my pacemaker and just really help to calm me down. And that, dear reader, will at least make me smile a tiny bit.

Yoga. Several years ago and with more than a hint of cynicism, I was persuaded to give yoga a try. I was sure it wouldn’t be for me and sure, given the fitness I thought I already had that it’d be a breeze. I quickly learnt that it was very tough going indeed.

However, I loved doing yoga from that very first session and although it confirmed my lack of flexibility, I was keen at least! Sadly, with the pressures of work and having a young family we ended up giving it up after about 6 months. We always thought we’d start again fairly soon. That didn’t transpire though.

This January my wife suggested we try again and given that I seem to be constantly training for something or other, I was quickly in agreement. We started about three weeks ago and have been doing a couple of sessions per week. We’re not attending classes, just using the YouTube app on the television to follow the regime of one of many yoga instructors out there, but it’s working.

I have to say, I’m loving it once again. Yoga is generally tough, especially when you’re as inflexible as me, but it helps me to relax and I know that in another few weeks I’ll start to reap the benefits. So, when I’m stuck in some ridiculous position, every sinew straining, my body probably wobbling a bit with the pressure of that particular pose, you can be sure that a smile won’t be far away.

If you’ve never tried yoga I can definitely recommend it!

Poetry Blog – ‘The old tyrant’

This is a relatively new poem, written about one of my grandfathers. I barely knew him, but a while ago I got one of those DNA kits as a Christmas present and as a result started to research my family tree. At the end of it all, not only was I disappointed to have no sign of any Viking ancestry, but I felt I knew my grandfather even less.

It’s always been something that held an interest to me. Both my mam and dad come from big families and so, growing up, we were surrounded by aunties, uncles and cousins whenever there was some kind of ‘family’ occasion. However, for any number of reasons I never felt that I really knew them that well. Being quite a shy kid probably didn’t help.

We lived in a different part of Newcastle to the rest of the family and so didn’t see them on a day to day basis and then as I got older I was busy with friends and different interests. Going away to university didn’t help my cause either; if anything, it made me stick out like a sore thumb! When I finally moved away from the North East entirely, I pretty much drifted away from all but immediate family.

The relationship with my grandparents on both sides was difficult, to say the least. With this grandad, he died when I was very young and there always seemed to be a reluctance on my parents part for them to take us to see our grandparents. If I’m honest, it doesn’t look like they were at all interested in us and I literally can’t remember ever meeting my grandma. However, I do have one extremely vague recollection of my grandad which is where the poem comes from.

'The old tyrant'

If I close my eyes, I still see him
from exactly the same vantage point, every time.
A dot of a man, his appearance betraying every terrifying snippet 
I'd ever heard.
Brown shoes, dark trousers, midnight blue raincoat
and a black trilby hat, shadowing his features,
making those eyes even darker, so that it felt like he looked straight through me
as he crept closer, a shining silver coin grasped in bony fingers.
The childcatcher had come, bearing gifts.
Then, with a pat on the head, he was gone.

Everything else is mystery, legend,
even your name uncertain.
"The old tyrant", my mam would say with just a hint of a smile,
"a villain", but maybe an entertainer, singing and dancing
on the West End stage, if that was to be believed,
the cold, hard presence passing your distance
through the generations,
many leads to your life, but never a final destination,
many strings to your bow,
but barely a finger print of recognition left behind,
the untraceable ghost, continuing to haunt
despite the fact that none ever really knew you at all.

When I was very young my parents ran a business. As part of the business we had a shop and a market stall, I think. My dad would be away buying crockery – plates, cups, bowls etc – in Stoke-on-Trent for the business (that’s what we sold…everyone needs stuff to eat off, right?) and my mam would be running the shops. As I was a poorly child (yes, heart nonsense even at that age!) I’d often find myself in the shop.

One day, when both parents were there, my grandad paid us a visit. I was perched on a stool in a corner of the shop, like some gaunt, pale kind of mascot and he came in, spoke to my parents a little bit as far as I can remember, and then made his way across to me.

As the poem says, he just came over, pressed a coin into my little hand and then left. That was the only interaction that I recall. No talking, no affection. He might have smiled, but I can’t remember.

Growing up, I picked up nothing but negativity around him, which comes out in the poem. Apparently, he wasn’t the greatest dad – although times were very different back then – and was very tough on his children, one of them my dad. When it came to seeing his grandchildren, he just didn’t seem to be interested. Well, not in this one anyway! So, I’d hear the types of descriptions that come up in the poem, labelled at him time and again.

When I came to research my family tree, he was just as big a mystery as ever. I’d been told that he was ‘a dancer and singer’ on stage in London by my dad when I was a kid, but there wasn’t much evidence of that. In fact, what he actually did remained a mystery and I uncovered bits of evidence that he had possibly led a bit of a double life a times. I won’t go into it because it’s obviously quite personal, but also because it left me no closer to knowing a great deal about the man!

So there we go; my grandad, man of mystery and little affection or it might seem, any kind of feeling whatsoever!

I hope you enjoyed the poem.

NUFC – We can’t do right for doing wrong?

Newcastle United fans, eh? What are we like? With our bloody flags, our songs and our attempts to support our team and help them to win football matches. But that’s not all. What about the club and the team? Buying success, celebrating goals and wins and inventing ‘shithousery’ being the tip of the iceberg. Who do we think we are, eh?

Having supported Newcastle United for over 40 years, I can’t say that we’ve always been popular. The Keegan years aside when we were everyone’s second team, apparently, someone’s always had a problem with Newcastle United. Oddly enough, that problem has grown exponentially over the last two years…I can’t think why.

Do I care what fans of other clubs think? No, of course not. I’m very much with Eddie Howe on this one; we’re not here to be popular, we’re here to compete.

That said, I do find the amount of complaints about us and the amount of moaning from other fans, really, really funny. So, I thought I’d go through a few things that spring to mind, especially as the attention on us seems to have ramped up significantly this season.

Eddie Howe is the master protagonist in all of this. As soon as he joined the club in November 2021, he set about winding up fans of other clubs. And how did he do it? The Lap of Appreciation. Win, lose or draw, our team and staff would stay on the pitch and walk round clapping. Clapping! I mean, straight away you can see how that would irk fans of other clubs. Who does he think he is getting 30 odd men and women to amble round a load of grass clapping at folk? God forbid, if I supported anyone else I’d be understandably livid at all that clapping!

The main problem here, according to fans of other clubs is that we haven’t won a trophy. So, of course we’re not allowed to celebrate anything, ever. In fact it’s possible that within a few months the Premier League will ask clubs to vote on whether clubs in black and white stripes can celebrate goals. Maybe, we can even expect a subsection about getting excited or something like that. That’s before we even get onto the crowd roaring at a tackle being made or a player enjoying the same, which has a seismic influence on the mood of other fans. More evidence of what a small club we are, apparently…

The point in all of this – and I truly hope we all got the sarcasm – is that it’s absolutely ridiculous and more than just a little bit pathetic. Two years of whingeing, moaning, bleating on and the crying of gallons of salty tears and all because what was once dubbed ‘a wee club in the north’ are challenging the status quo again. But the ridiculousness doesn’t stop there.

Probably most famously, Eddie then brought in the celebration photo. That’s right, a photo of people celebrating! So, when we win a match the whole squad, staff and even injured players have a photo in the dressing room. Personally, I love it. It’s a brilliant illustration of the spirit and the togetherness in the squad and coming after watching teams with fractured dressing rooms and very little spirit for years and years, it’s a welcome addition to the way we do things.

Other fans loathe that photo, which is hilarious! When we’ve won, social media is just a wonderful illustration of how much we’ve upset what some fans see as being the natural order of things. And of course, it was even funnier when Jason Tindall organised the squad and staff into formation in front of the away fans at the end of our derby win at the Stadium of Shite recently. The irony of being told that we showed a lack of respect is amazing, given the neanderthal taunts of the opposition over the years!

The re-birth of Wor Flags was something else that got on the nerves of non Mags. While it only requires possession of a pair of functioning eyes to admire the sheer brilliance of some of the displays, apparently if you don’t support Newcastle, they’re anything from ‘pathetic’ to ’embarrassing’. Not as embarrassing as the 17 grand Tunnocks appreciation display that we were subjected to at the weekend, mind. But again, we’re in the wrong for supporting our team, especially if you believe the old opposition fan favourite that it’s all funded by the Saudis anyway, which is obviously bollocks. But why let the truth get in the way of your salty tears and another ridiculous conspiracy theory?

As well as that we’ve also invented something called ‘shithousery’. Previously known as ‘game management’ when certain other clubs did it, it’s been rebranded seemingly because we did it better. Fans of Premier League clubs have been up in arms in stadiums, online and on radio talk ins about how we’re ruining the game with our two balls on the pitch shenanigans and conveniently faked injuries. And the mention of Jason Tindall is like a red rag to a bull!

It’s been amusing to watch the sheer amount of people tearing their hair out over the last couple of years and it’s particularly hilarious to watch the complaints from the so called ‘Big 6’. They really don’t like any attempt to level the playing field, do they?

One of the funniest things I’ve read from opposition fans though, is the one about 5.30 kick offs on a Saturday night. If you haven’t heard it, you’ll love it. The conspiracy theory goes that we get given this kick off time ‘every week’ meaning that we’re on TV. And of course, the reason for that is because it’s prime time in Saudi Arabia, meaning that our legions of fans out there and more appropriately, our ownership can watch the games. This is of course because our owners are bribing Sky…

The mind boggles! No thought to the fact that it actually puts our travelling support out, just a blind belief that kicking off at 5.30 on a Saturday somehow gives us an ill gotten advantage. Once again, it’s good to see we’re at the forefront of so many people’s minds, even if literally none of it makes any sense whatsoever. God forbid that our fans sing and cheers the lads on at those games. And Heaven help anyone who brings a bloody flag!

And then we had the sheer temerity to qualify for a place in the Champions League. Again, there was outrage. The Champions League, it seems was a closed shop where only the clubs who wanted to leave it and the Premier League to form their own EuroMegaSuperDoopa league were allowed to play and make money from. A strange logic, but one that we should have accepted, apparently. Thus, the fume was very much real when poor old Liverpool could only finish in 5th and super club Spurs only just made the top 10.

And so, when the Champions League draw was made and we ended up in our ‘Group of Death’ it must’ve felt like Christmas morning in certain parts of the country! The come down after we hammered PSG on the second matchday would have really, really hurt though! Apparently, us being in the competition was futile and our place would have been much better filled by a ‘big club’. Well, it’s hard to see how any of those ‘big clubs’ other than Man City would have coped a great deal better in the group we’ve got. And the fact that we were still in with a chance of qualifying for the next stage of the competition until the last seconds of the group stage is huge and it’s the kind of thing that would have been eating away at fans of certain clubs. It’s been borne out by the reaction to us going out of the competition. It’s funny how we matter so much!

The last moan, and one of the funniest, is the one that seems to suggest that we’ve found a way to influence the PGMOL and VAR officials. It’s an idea that’s been floated more or less every time we’ve got a decision, but the home game against Arsenal caused a little bit of a stir to say the least. I won’t go too far into it, but our winning goal was checked, checked and checked again and still ruled legitimate. They even reviewed the whole thing independently a couple of days later and it was still a goal.

None of this stopped the crying though, with yet more allegations about our owners having some mysterious influence over officials. Mikel Arteta also went into meltdown not once but twice which was pretty hysterical. I must admit, this didn’t really bother me. I could kind of see the point. If that goal had been given against us, I’d have questioned it as well. I wouldn’t have blamed Arsenal’s ownership or fans though. Sadly, they’re probably still banging on about it even as I type.

So what happened next – 4 weeks on from that game and goal – was pretty funny, really. And predictable, I suppose. When we were on the the wrong end of a VAR shocker with the PSG penalty there was more vitriol, desperation and petty jealousy. The word that seemed to be most prevalent on social media was karma. Now karma is a concept I have a bit of belief in, as it goes. But the next morning, when the assistant VAR who recommended that the ref go to the screen was stood down from his next game and then UEFA clarified and updated the handball rule, it was just obvious that it had been a shocking decision against us. Less karma, more drama it seemed.

It’s been a funny old couple of years as a Toon fan. No one likes us, but as the song goes, we don’t care. This was always going to be the way. Having been bought by an organisation worth hundreds of billions, the green eyed monster was bound to surface at some point. It was probably just a bit quicker than any of us might have expected and definitely from lots of unexpected fanbases. I mean, Crystal Palace? Who knew they were such human rights activists? And let’s not get started on our friends down the road and their sudden penchant for shouting about blood on people’s hands.

For such a ‘small club’, we’ve come a long way in a very short space of time, eh?

Running: How a change of scenery can make all the difference.

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time you’ll already be aware that I love running. It’s something I’ve done for most of my life and the older I get, the more kind of evangelical I can feel about it. Running clears my mind while also testing me to my limits. There’s a lot to love about that, as far as I’m concerned.

I’ve written quite a bit about running; from tips, to accounts of races and even reviews of books on the subject. Recently though, I got to thinking about motivation; what gets me out, what I enjoy the most, what keeps me going when I’m exhausted or even just not feeling quite right.

I didn’t come up with a whole host of factors, to be honest. In the main it’s sheer bloody-mindedness that keeps me going. I set a goal and refuse to give up. However, one thing I have realised is what a difference a change of scenery can make.

Essentially, I’m a creature of habit. I’m usually happy just running around various routes where I live. However, I’ve come to realise that the odd change of scenery can be quite inspiring too and nowadays it’s the kind of thing that gets me genuinely excited about going for a run.

I’m lucky with where I live. There are plenty of places where you can go for a reasonably quiet run and not have too many obstacles – gangs of teenagers, yappy dogs – to avoid. And if you like hills, then you’ll find plenty where I am! I can’t say I’ve always been a fan, but the more I put myself through it with those hills, the more I enjoy the challenge. But sometimes, the same few routes can get a bit monotonous.

A few years ago I started to do Parkruns and I enjoyed the change of scenery, even if the trails weren’t the most fun for me. It was at a local country park called Oakwell Hall, which I knew well anyway. But even though there are a few Parkruns local to me, I’ve still only ever done the one. I think it’s just the thought of getting up early on a Saturday and the drive to get there that keeps me away.

What really inspired me to seek out different places to run was taking my running gear on holiday when we went to Majorca about 6 years ago. Again, I knew the place fairly well. It was Puerta Pollensa and we’d been there a few times before. Having watched loads of cyclists setting off from our hotel every morning, I got to wondering what it would be like to get out and explore a bit, rather than just sitting around the pool. And so, one year I took my gear and went out midway through our week there.

It was an absolute game changer! I remember that it unusually hot and that the sky was incredibly blue with not a cloud to spoil it. It was April, but felt more like a hot summer’s day. I only ran for about 4 miles – in the end the heat got to me – but it felt wonderful. I could gaze up at the mountains as I went and take in the early Spring flowers that were out in force. For the first few miles I didn’t give a single thought to pace or how my body felt. And so I decided that I’d make this a regular holiday thing and subsequently managed a couple of more runs in Puerta Pollensa.

Since then, I’ve tried to add some occasional variety to my routes both at home and on holiday and it always inspires me. I’ve been to a few different places locally, exploring bits of other towns and villages and I always find that the change of scene concentrates my mind a little more. I often take photos on the way though, so it also slows me down a bit.

Further holidays have meant different runs too, some more challenging than others!

We usually head down to North Wales early in the summer holidays and running there is always a test as it’s just incredibly hilly. The scenery is amazing and there’s the added bonus of ending up on a beautiful beach, but when I’m dragging myself up those hills it’s hard to reconcile the sense of challenge against the feeling of liquid legs and a pounding heart. Heading off the roads and on to the beach; hearing the noise of the waves, passing the sand dunes and feeling the slight give of the sand under your feet is pretty special though.

I usually run 6 mile loop when I’m down there. It takes in 6 big steep hills (I so want to call them mountains!) as well as the downside to a few of them too, which is always a blessed relief. On the route there are views of some mountains, a golf course, some beautiful houses and even a llama farm! Believe me, there’s nothing quite like the sight of grazing llamas on a remote Welsh hillside to wake you up on a morning!

We took an Autumn break in October 2022 and I was really looking forward to going for a run. We were heading to Alcudia in Majorca and not only did it look beautiful, but it looked flat too. I couldn’t wait to get out there and follow any runs up with a long dip in the hotel pool! And then I collapsed in the airport which eventually led to me having heart surgery less than a month later! So, running in Alcudia remains on the ‘change of scenery’ list!

In the latter part of last year I managed two more runs in very different places. Firstly, on a trip home to Newcastle to see family and friends I got up especially early, having plotted out a route along the edges of a local industrial estate and ran a 10k. Not the greatest scenery ever, although there was a brief view of the Angel of The North, but it was the flattest run I’d done in ages meaning I could really have a go at a good time. It was also reasonably quiet, presumably because most of the factories and businesses had started work, so that was also quite nice – none of the usual fighting for pavement space or avoiding rogue dogs!

My last ‘away’ runs of the year came once again in Majorca. Following last year’s troubled break we went away again in early November determined to make the most of the break and knowing that I’d be able to take part much more than last time!

I managed to find a street map via Google and so planned out a route that I could take, looking it over several times in order to try and commit it to memory. It took in some of the quieter parts of town and some of the outskirts and more rural areas as well as a good portion of the sea front, so I was sure to have plenty of sights to take my mind off those aching legs!

As you’d expect, running in Majorca was hot, even in November, and so it made it fairly difficult, but the change of scenery worked its magic. In fact, it worked so well on my first run that I actually managed to get lost, running down what I thought was the right road before discovering it was a dead end after about half a mile and styling it out by turning round and running up the other side of the road as if that was what I’d intended all along!

The mistake meant that I was determined to get back out later in the week, just so that I could check out the bits of the route that I’d missed. And so, a couple of days later I set out again and managed a slightly quicker 5k while keeping the pace low enough to be able to take in every last one of the sights. So, not a serious bit of training, but a lot more interesting than my usual routes!

This year I plan to add more changes of scene to my running routine and have already signed up to a new race, with more to come. We’ll definitely be off on holiday too, so I’ll be making sure to take my gear with me. Aside from that I’d like to explore a few more places and have vague plans for some very early starts that will enable me to drive out to a few places and go running there. I haven’t settled on anywhere specific yet, but I won’t leave it long.

So, if you feel like you’re stuck in a rut with your running or just a little bit bored, try a change of scenery. It really can make all the difference!

Gallowgate Cult Heroes; Number 4 Micky Quinn

If you’re a Newcastle United fan, it’s almost certain that you’ll love a number 9. We’ve been brought up on them. For the older generation, we would have been told stories of Jackie Milburn, Hughie Gallagher and Len White. Some of us might even have been lucky enough to watch the great Supermac in the 70s. The younger generation could point to the brilliance of the likes of Cole, Ferdinand, Shearer and even Callum Wilson.

No one can argue that we’ve had a glut of quality strikers to have idolised over the years. Even when you move away from the obvious, you’ll still find some excellent strikers who’ve left their mark on Tyneside. Micky Quinn is definitely one of those names and to this day holds cult status in Newcastle.

Quinn was signed from Portsmouth at a turbulent time for the club. Arriving in July 1989 for £680,000, he was joining a fractured club. Many supporters were boycotting the club and protesting against the board of the time which was led by one of the most unpopular chairmen of my lifetime in Gordon McKeag. So while Quinn jumped at the chance to join the Toon, he certainly wasn’t popular from the off. Quinn himself famously tells a story of seeing the protests as he walked through the city and bearing witness to a banner that asked ‘Who the f**k is Mick Quinn?’

I was well aware of who he was as the kind of geeky kid who always kept track of the top scorers in every division, so Quinny’s signing excited me and was a rare piece of good news at a time when I could feel myself drifting away from the club and its under-ambitious ownership. As well as being a Bob Carolgees lookalike, Quinny was known for being a little on the larger side and in truth wasn’t the perfect physical specimen, but as he’d say later on in his career, he was the fastest you’d find over the first yard!

My cousin was part of the supporter boycott and I was torn between getting a ticket for the first game of the season or standing outside St. James’ Park like he did and trying to persuade people to stay away and put pressure on the board. Thankfully, I went in that day.

Quinny’s debut is the stuff of modern NUFC folklore. In front of just over 24,000 fans, he scored four goals in a 5-2 win against promotion favourites Leeds United. By the end of the game, no one was asking who he was anymore and Quinny quickly became a crowd favourite. Having stood watching the likes of Frank Pingel, Mirandinha and Rob Macdonald struggle to score goals in the previous season, I was thrilled that we had such a number 9 as Micky Quinn and for many others he would become a hero just based on that game alone.

Quinny scored 34 goals in that first season, cementing his place in the history of the club and also in the hearts of many a supporter of a certain age. After 4 on debut he then went on to score in each of the next 4 games and he simply kept on scoring all season. His record for that season – 34 in 53 games has him in 5th place for the most goals scored in a season at NUFC. I was 18 at the time and the partnership between Quinny and Mark McGhee that season remains one of my favourites of all time.

In his second season Quinny scored 20 goals, but the team finished 11th in the old 2nd division and the writing was on the wall for manager Ossie Ardiles. The season that followed was the now infamous and almost disastrous one that ended with Kevin Keegan coming in as manager and somehow managing to save us from the drop. Quinn scored 10 that year but was eclipsed by midfielder Gavin Peacock who got 21 and it would become obvious that the manager didn’t really fancy our cult hero.

During that amazing first season in ’89-’90 I was lucky enough to meet Micky. He was part of a group of Newcastle players who were taking part in a charity cricket match at a local cricket club in Swalwell. Me and a couple of mates went along and skulked around on the boundary, waiting to try and grab a word with our heroes. I was 17 and still very much in awe of these people who I watched week in week out.

Having managed to get an autograph from Kevin Brock, we waited and waited for Quinny and when he was fielding right by the rope we grabbed our opportunity. He signed my old green and yellow striped away top and was just a genuinely nice bloke. He’d taken a flying catch moments before and was full of himself, as you would be!

Another, rather different memory of Quinny would be from a couple of seasons later and the 91-92 season. It was away at Sunderland and the infamous Liam O’Brien over the wall game. Quinny was actually injured and on crutches at the time but I have a vivid memory of him approaching the way fans in the Roker End at the end of the game, wildly waving his crutches around and celebrating. We’d had a few crucial injuries going into the game and so the draw was actually a great result and Micky, like the whole away end, was ecstatic. He knew just what the club meant to the fans!

To those of us who followed Newcastle United around the country in the late 80s and early 90s, Mick Quinn was a legend. When he wasn’t banging in the goals he could invariably be found ‘de-stressing’ in the local nightclubs and was a big fan of the Tuxedo Princess! A lot of that side of things is detailed in his excellent autobiography ‘Who At All The Pies’, which is a must read if Quinny is a new name to you.

In all, Quinny scored 63 goals in 126 appearances for the club and always gave everything. He embraced the weight of that number 9 shirt and did it proud, starting with that incredible debut. He was eventually sold to Coventry City where he would go on to gain cult hero status with their fans too. Newcastle United moved on in style when he was sold, with Kevin Keegan bringing in Andy Cole as we gained promotion. A lot of us fans will never forget Micky Quinn though!

The Joys of Volunteering

For the last few months I’ve been trying something a little bit different. It started with just giving my son a lift to where he was going and then curiosity and trying to be a good dad somehow got the better of me. Now, I seem to be a fully fledged volunteer!

In actual fact, the whole thing really started around a year ago. My son had decided to do his Bronze for the Duke of Edinburgh Award and as part of his challenge he had to do 6 months worth of volunteering and so, following in his sister’s footsteps, he started helping out at a local Parkrun. For the majority of the time there were four of them, all friends, doing this. But then occasionally it’d just be him and so I got involved and stood marshalling with him on various parts of the course. Often cold, but always bearable!

When he decided to then do his Silver D of E award we thought he’d change his volunteering to something else. But he didn’t and so here we are again!

For the first few weeks I would just drop him off and then go for a long walk around the country park that the run takes place in. After all, it wasn’t me who was taking part in the Duke of Edinburgh award and besides, I saw my Saturday morning hike as good recovery time, as my heart operation was a few months previous. The exercise combined with that early morning solitude was blissful!

Then, one week my son asked if I fancied joining in and doing some marshalling with him. Having done a few weeks scanning the barcodes of the finishers he fancied a change and so of course, in my quest to be dad of the year, I said yes.

There are loads of different roles that you can volunteer for at a Parkrun. I had a look at our latest roster and that told me that there were 15 different jobs to choose from. You can fulfil various roles at the finish, as well as tail walking with the last participant, be it a runner or walker. And in marshalling alone, we have 11 different checkpoints to fill. So, there’s a lot of variation in what you can choose to be doing in supporting the runners.

As a marshall, all we really do is watch the runners come past our checkpoint, keep an eye out for any problems, answer any questions and make sure no one walks across the course as the runners approach. Oh, and clapping. We do a lot of clapping and encouraging.

Of course, it’s been winter and so the conditions have been cold, to say the least. The standing around doesn’t help either and in fact it can leave me in a bit of pain as my back and my feet don’t seem keen on just standing. A couple of weeks ago we were soaked to the skin, despite wearing heavy coats, as the rain was just torrential. But the race went on! It made me look forward to Spring and the weather being a bit warmer though!

Volunteering always leaves me in a good mood. For a start, there’s the sense of pride that you get in just being able to help out. It’s nice that lots of the runners will actively thank us as they go round. I always think it’s nice to be appreciated, even though it feels strange to be thanked when the runners are the ones exerting themselves! But at a time when my mental health hasn’t always been good it’s a welcome boost.

It’s nice to feel like part of something too. There’s a friendliness and a sense of community amongst both runners and volunteers and although I’m quite quiet and don’t really talk to too many people, it always feels like we’re welcome and very much appreciated. And of course it’s good to spend some quality time with my son too, despite the early mornings!

In the future, perhaps in retirement I’d like to do more volunteering. We’ve talked about helping out at one of the RSPB reserves as it’s something that’s been of interest for a while. I’d like to volunteer with the homeless too. I think that given I’ll have a bit more time to play with once I’m retired or at least semi retired, it’d be good to use that to help others.

In the meantime, volunteering is something that I’d actively encourage anyone to try. It can get you exercise and undoubtedly helps with your mental health. The fresh air alone is really important to me.

If you’re thinking of volunteering, there are over 1200 different Parkruns around the U.K. It’s easy to do, even if it is quite early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and the rewards are great. I can’t guarantee the weather, but it’s something that I’d definitely recommend. Give it a go, it might just make a really positive change in your life!

Middle Age Gigging: Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds at Leeds First Direct Arena.

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I sometimes get to thinking that there have been times when I’ve had very little to feel lucky about. Growing up in the North of England I watched heavy industry being torn apart, mass unemployment, a decidedly average football team and all things Margaret Thatcher for around about the first 20 years of my life. It all felt a bit rubbish, to be honest!

However, there was always music, even if that invariably meant mining the past to listen to more of bands like The Beatles and The Rolling Stones. And then, in the mid to late 80s came The Smiths and The Stone Roses amongst other followed in the early 90s, by Oasis. They were right up my street, I was the right age and thanks to the fact that attended a university in the north west, I was in the right place too. Sadly, all good things come to and end and thus the brothers Gallagher eventually went their separate ways, Liam forming Beady Eye and Noel bringing together his High Flying Birds. They would leave a legacy of incredible music and a lifetime’s worth of memories though.

Oasis and the Gallaghers have been a huge part of my musical life ever since and so tonight, despite the time of year and another hard day at work, I’m tingling with excitement at the prospect of watching Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds at Leeds Arena.

The band/Noel have an album to promote, June’s ‘Council Skies’, and have been on tour worldwide for months. We last saw them in Leeds 7 or 8 years ago, so tonight is highly anticipated and walking through the city on the way to the venue the atmosphere gets better the closer we get. There’s a definite buzz, which although is probably partly due to Christmas, intensifies as we near the venue and by the time we take our seats with around half an hour until stage time you can sense that everyone feels exactly the same. Everyone is up for this!

As a middle age gig goer it’s quite comforting to see the age profile of the crowd. In short, there are plenty here around my age and plenty more who look decidedly older. And I have to do more than a few double takes at the amount of families who’ve turned up. Who know that so many teenagers love a bit of Noel?!

With what must be 5 minutes still to go until stage time the lights dim and we’re greeted with a kind of white noise. The screen behind the stage is fuzzy, but as the noise intensifies the blur clears and five minutes later with a backdrop that now reads ‘Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds’ the band amble onstage to a heroes’ welcome.

Opener ‘Pretty Boy’ is a personal favourite from the new album, so I’m immediately onside. It’s a blinding version too. Next up is ‘Council Skies’ followed by the brilliant ‘Open The Door, See What You Find’ and three tracks in – all from the new album – the Leeds Arena is rocking!

It’s only at this point that Noel finally speaks, finding just enough time to remind us that he’s a Man City fan (I mean, you would, wouldn’t you?!) and say good evening to Leeds before the band launch headlong into another couple of tracks from the new album, ‘Council Skies’ in ‘We’re Gonna Get There In The End’ and ‘Easy Now’, both of which are excellent. Being notoriously bad with even the lyrics of songs that I’ve been listening to for years, I’ve bumbled my way through this section by joining in with most of the choruses and the odd line here and there, but I’m still having a brilliant time. Noel has just always had a happy knack of being able to churn out amazing tunes. Furthermore, this being an arena gig, we’re sitting down meaning that the middle age knees are having a much needed rest!

The High Flying Birds then raid their back catalogue with five older songs, featuring classics ‘In The Heat of The Moment’, ‘If I Had a Gun’ and a raucous ‘AKA…What a Life!’ before most of the band leave the stage while Noel and long time keyboard player Mike Rowe perform a beautiful version of ‘Dead in The Water’.

Having earlier promised us a “trip back to the 90s” Noel and the band now head further into his back catalogue. It’s time for some Oasis tunes!

Starting with the beautiful ‘Going Nowhere’ we’re then treated to ‘The Importance of Being Idle’, the always amazing ‘The Masterplan’ and ‘Half The World Away’ before the set closes with a superbly noisy and spirited version of ‘Little by Little’.

Undoubtedly, at least three quarters of tonight’s crowd were there in the 90s with Oasis and so, despite the creaking knees, the greying hair and the almost permanent aching back – I’m throwing everyone in with my own symptoms here – hearing those songs live again is quite the experience and as much as we love Noel’s newer stuff, the Oasis tunes will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Within minutes of leaving the stage, the band are back for the encore. Noel, who’s gotten more chatty as the gig has gone on, jokes about the next song; we’ll all know the chorus but only him and Bob Dylan know the verses! He might be right too and as he plays a cover of Dylan’s ‘Quinn The Eskimo’ I’m transported back to the late 80s and chanting the chorus on the terraces at Newcastle United in homage to our number 9, the goal machine Micky Quinn!

Next up is ‘Live Forever’ and more special memories. It’s a stunning version of the song and as it’s one I used to sing to my wife in the early days of our relationship, I’ll confess to a little bit of a tear. I hope Noel would understand! And of course, this is a huge part of the point of tonight for a lot of us. We’re rolling back the years, loving every moment of the hour and a half that we get to spend with one of our musical heroes and remembering what were special times when we were a lot younger. And the man in front of us played a big part in changing the landscape of music.

Tonight ends with the stone cold classic that is ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’. Everyone is up out of their seats and those standing at the front of the arena are now just a swaying mass of bodies all hands held aloft and no doubt singing back every word at the top of their voices. It’s the same all around the arena. It’s been a staggeringly good gig. The band are just superb and Noel has been on top form.

By the end, I’m knackered but blissfully happy as only the opportunity to hear a bunch of songs that mean so much can make you. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds have been perfect and I’m pretty sure that every last one of us would agree. Noel, if you ever get to read this, thanks for another brilliant night…and thanks for the memories. May we all keep making them for a good few years yet!

Looking to the future – Newcastle United Under 19 v AC Milan Under 19

Newcastle kicked off their final UEFA Youth League game yesterday knowing that it would be their last for a while with opponents Milan already assured of top spot in the group.

As someone who is only able to catch the odd academy or reserve game, I was interested to tune in and see just what the future might have in store for Newcastle fans though. And given the level of opposition and the competition, this one was particularly intriguing.

There was a very early change for Newcastle as Ciaran Thompson was replaced having gone down with a head injury after an aerial challenge in the first 20 seconds. It almost immediately looked like it was going to be one of those days as just with the first team, injuries were now happening freakishly and taking their toll of the youngsters.

And it got worse. Milan opened the scoring on 8 minutes as right winger Liberale cut in on to his left foot and hit a speculative curler, which bounced just as it reached keeper Adrian Janusz and somehow squirmed into the net. It may well have taken a nick of a defender, but really the keeper will be only too aware that he could have done better.

While our youngsters could have sunk without trace against such quality opposition, what happened next showed a lot of courage. Newcastle grew into the game as the half went on. We had lots of the ball and it was noticeable how quickly we tried to get it forward, often going direct into the channels and getting Milan turned.

As the half progressed we seemed to settle nicely, building well from the back and moving the ball skillfully through midfield. It just didn’t want to stick up front though, despite the best efforts of Jonny Emerson and Ben Parkinson. With Milan already through to the next stage of the competition and having made numerous changes to their line up, Newcastle had nothing to lose and it was good to see them growing in confidence as the half drew to a close.

In the second half, Newcastle continued to dominate the ball, but the renewed effort and crisper tackling saw them really take hold of the game and they proceeded to pop the ball around with confidence.

It wasn’t long before their efforts were rewarded as Cathal Heffernan won a header from a corner which dropped at the feet of Travis Hernes who swivelled well and scored from close range. That was on 51 minutes and within four more United had taken the lead.

This time it was Heffernan with the goal. A free kick was curled over and when it was only half cleared to the edge of the box, sub Leo Shahar nodded it forward where Heffernan was waiting to hold off his marker and drill the ball home with a finish that Shearer would have been proud of!

From then on it was pretty much all Newcastle as we controlled the ball and managed to keep Milan at arms length. There were several forays forward from our youngsters and it was great to see the side playing with such energy and confidence.

Amazingly, the young Magpies extended their lead and essentially put the game to bed, on 73 minutes. And it was a lovely move as the ball was worked out of defence via Charlie MacArthur, eventually finding Ben Parkinson who’d dropped deep into midfield. He turned quickly and drove forward before switching the ball to the right edge of Milan’s box. Good work by sub Shaun Neave saw him beat the full back and get to the byline before pulling the ball across the face of goal to find Parkinson, who carried on his run unopposed and was able to steer it home for the goal.

Newcastle were able to see out the game fairly comfortably, keeping Milan at arms length and controlling the game with a real confidence. Ben Dawson could often be heard telling the lads to ‘look after the ball’ and that’s exactly what they did. The final 3-1 scoreline couldn’t really be argued with.

For me, there were a few standout performances. At the back, Heffernan and McArthur look pretty solid. Both are comfortable on the ball and read the game well as well as having a solid physical presence and it wouldn’t be a great surprise to see them as first teamers in the not too distant future. Also in defence, Leo Shahar stood out, using the ball well and dealing well with Milan’s forward players. At only 16, he looks a real prospect. I thought Jonny Emerson and Ben Parkinson looked good too, holding the ball well and driving Newcastle forward. Parkinson’s goal was particularly impressive.

The two who really caught the eye though, were Travis Hernes in midfield and Trevan Sanusi who played wide on the left. Hernes was brought in from Shrewsbury in summer and looks very comfortable on the ball. He’s a big lad, so deals well with the physical side of the game, but possesses a decent turn of pace too. A classy, ball playing midfielder who at times reminded a bit of Jude Bellingham, not to put too much pressure on the lad. I feel sure he’ll be a first team prospect in the near future and is definitely one to watch.

Then there was Sanusi who looks a lad with a big future. Trevan looked confident on the ball and extremely skillful. There were times when he turned his full back inside out, which for a 16-year-old at this level is very impressive. He’s another with a real turn of pace too and certainly seems like the kind of player who’d get a St. James’ Park crowd off their seats given half a chance.

In all, an enjoyable match and a great result. Newcastle’s youngsters dominated for much of the game and deserved the points. Without wanting to put too much pressure on these boys, it looks like we might have a very bright future on our hands.