Family – Middle Age Fanclub

The Pacemaker Diaries – are we back to square one?

I’d really hoped that having my pacemaker fitted would spell the end of all my heart related problems. Like, really hoped. It’s been almost four years now and for most of that time I’ve felt comfortable. Frustrated with having to have a pacemaker and angry at my crappy heart, but comfortable with the idea that everything seems to be running smoothly and that this little machine has made everyday life a lot less eventful.

And then it got eventful again. Not in a good way either. I didn’t meet loads of new people and start living some kind of extraordinarily exciting life. No, eventful in that my heart decided to go back to its old tricks.

I’m a regular runner. Running was something that signalled that life was getting back to normal after my pacemaker and the time off work that went with it. As soon as I was able to go out for a run again I just felt a whole load better and the more my fitness built up, the more my confidence with my device grew.

So when, after a run earlier this year, my heart just decided that it wouldn’t slow down, I was more than a little crestfallen to say the least. Sadly, it wasn’t a one off either. Although it didn’t happen with any regularity, it did keep happening. So while my heart would be beating at about 140bpm while I was running, when I stopped something would flutter in my chest and that would mean that I was in for another episode. My heart would continue to beat at that rate or more for anything from a few minutes to a few hours.

Now if you don’t know, having your heart racing for that length of time is scary and exhausting. And any normal person might seek help. Not me though. Determined that I wouldn’t learn my lesson from the months worth of episodes and a collapse that eventually led to my pacemaker, I kept quiet and hoped that it would just go away. I ignored the cold sweats, the nausea, the numbness down my left hand side and the gradual increase in pain in favour of an eventual dizzy feeling that might make me pass out. Because that would mean that it was over and that I could just rest and live with a normal heartbeat again.

Then, at the back end of August I finished a 5 mile run on a particularly glorious morning and began to walk home. A few steps later there was a familiar flutter and I knew that my heart beat wasn’t going to settle down. This lasted for around 5 hours, at the end of which I’d decided I better tell someone. So I waited for my wife to get home and kept my fingers crossed that for the rest of the day my children wouldn’t notice if dad went a funny colour.

Fast forward a few weeks and I was strolling nervously across Leeds to attend the Pacemaker Clinic at the LGI not knowing what would happen. Work had very kindly given me some time at the end of the day to ensure that I got there on time and now I was walking slower and slower in order to put off the inevitable for as long as I could.

There was nothing new waiting for me. The same spiel as ever before, the same types of tests and the same episode of a technician literally playing with my pacemaker in order to manipulate my heartbeat and make me feel sick. And at the end of it all they were able to tell me that some episodes had been my heart, while others had been the pacemaker. The plan now is to wait a month and take a download from my heart monitor and see what that reveals. Another waiting game.

I haven’t had an episode since the one in August. I’ve been out running a few times to test things out and so far, there’s been no adverse reaction. I’m making sure that I give myself a proper warm down afterwards in order to give my heart the chance to just settle down naturally, but I know that there’s no magic formula here. And so I just have to wait.

I’m hopeful that there’s little or nothing wrong. It only happens after a run and even then very infrequently. So, at worst it might mean that my Olympic dreams are over. I guess all I’ve got is to wait until the middle of the month to have some light shed on things. Until then, I suppose the best I can do is to get on with things and try not to worry. Am I back to square one? I don’t think so, but all I can do is wait to find out.

Middle Aged adventures in new music

Some of the fondest memories of my teenage years would have been spent hunting out music. A large proportion of that time would have been spent in record shops – shout out to Music Box in Blaydon who took much of my pocket money and wages in those formative years- and also perusing the music section of our local library, a source of many a gem that could be borrowed for a small sum.

Nowadays things are different for teenagers. A lot of the time there’s no need to set foot outside of the house to find music; music comes to them. Whether it’s via a video on social media or an algorithm on a streaming service that whispers in their ear, ‘I’ve heard what you like, have you heard this though?‘ it feels like things are a bit easier these days.

That’s not to say that I resent today’s youth. As I said, rifling through the shelves in record shops was something I found immensely enjoyable in my teenage years. There was something about the whole immersive experience that just dragged me back for more week in, week out. I’m sure lots of us would say the same.

While record shops and the local library were where I discovered the majority of the music that shaped me, my parents and older sister were another valuable source. My parent’s love of the likes of Elvis, The Beatles, Chuck Berry and Dionne Warwick is still with me to this day and it was my sister who awakened me to people like Luther Vandross and Alexander O’Neill. I learnt that it was ok to like things that my friends might not have deemed ‘cool’.

These days, as a father, the pattern is beginning to repeat itself as my son gets more and more into music. He’s been immersed in a lot of what we like and so has a healthy attachment to bands like Oasis, Embrace, Take That (we can blame Mrs C for that one) and The Bluetones as well as loads of what we now might refer to as old classics.

Recently though, he’s been telling me more about the music that he’s discovering. It’s great that he’s finding himself on the same kind of journey into music as I did at his age. At first, much to my delight, he’d mention bands like The Smiths and artists like Jeff Buckley, favourites of mine but not stuff that he’d been exposed to that much by me. But now, he’s begun to tell me more about new music, bands and artists that I’ve literally never heard of and I must admit that it’s made me curious. It’s great to see that he’s discovering new stuff and finding his own way. His headphones seem to have been surgically attached without my knowledge after all, so they may as well help him discover new music.

One night recently, after another music discussion, I got him to write a few recommendations down so that I could give them a go. And then I thought I’d tell you, dear reader, about what I found. I mean, any excuse for content, right?

He was very keen for me to listen to someone called Alex G. The name alone being a reminder of Kenny G, I wasn’t quite as enthusiastic. However, I clicked away until I found myself listening to the aforementioned Mr G. What I heard instantly reminded me of Elliot Smith, so a very high bar was set. Sadly though, young Alex failed to live up to Elliot’s standard. My notes included ‘sounds like he’s singing through a sock’ and ‘could he not work out how to end this?’ and after a few songs I just gave up. Not the start I’d wanted and not the result that my son wanted. He was genuinely disappointed to hear that I hadn’t enjoyed it.

I moved on to Dead Butterflies and their track ‘Embers’ which had been recommended as a starting point. I found it a bit dull, so moved on to a live version to try and find a spark of some kind. Here are my notes. ‘What’s the girl doing? Why is he crouching on the floor? They’re standing up again. She’s playing a trombone?! Ooh, he’s screaming. Really screaming. Has he fallen over? What’s with the weird handsy thing?’

I was beginning to think that my enlightenment may turn into more of just a plain mistake but I didn’t want to just sit there mocking people’s music. So I tried ‘Embers’ again and then another few tracks. There’s more screaming in ‘Ramona, the hurt’ and in the end it felt like while they might be trying too hard, they were a band to come back to. There was something in the obvious devotion of their fanbase on live tracks that suggested there’d be more than meets the eye – or ear – here.

The next suggestion was King Krule and as I typed that into the YouTube search bar I had no idea if the king was a band or an individual. What I did know is that someone involved can’t spell, which upset me a little as an English teacher. But I was here to focus on the music and the track I’d been told to listen to was ‘Baby Blue’. My instant response to what followed was simply, Babyshambles. The singer – who may or may not be King Krule – reminded me a lot of Pete Doherty. I could hear the influence of Jamie T in there too. The song seemed quite disparate; my notes mentioned timing and rhythm as well as the words ‘jazz interpretation’, but I felt that I wasn’t getting the best of his highness so I moved on. Thankfully, it got better. I discovered King Krule at Glastonbury and on Letterman and while I kept getting Pavement vibes, the song Easy Easy reminded me a little bit of The Jam, which could only ever be a good thing.

Next up was MF Angel and I must admit, I expected much more. In the end my notes just read, ‘quite melodic, but could you speak up a bit?’ Safe to say I’m not going to be a devotee.

My new music quest was coming to an end. I’d been asked to have a listen to Modern Baseball and already there was a positive with the name. They’re what I’d call a traditional American indie band and there were definitely hints of The Pixies and Pavement to be heard. Ben Kweller sprung to mind too. I listened to ‘Re-do’, ‘Tears Over Beers’ and then ‘The Weekend’ and I have to admit that I liked what I heard. It all seemed tuneful and there was an enthusiasm that was quite engaging too. A lyric from ‘The Weekend’ stuck in my head and there hadn’t been many of those in the experiment.

“You got a smile that could light this town and we might need it, cause it gets dark around here, real dark around here”.

Proof that while I might not enjoy so much of the modern music I get to hear, the art of song writing definitely didn’t die out just yet.

So what conclusions can I form about new music? Well, essentially not many, really. I mean I was fishing in a small pool, after all. But there have been glimmers of hope in what I’d listened to, most notably with Modern Baseball. And there were others I’d revisit. And I think that was the point here. Things need a chance. It took me ages to get the point of bands like The White Stripes and there are many bands and artists that I rejected in my teens and early twenties that I’d happily listen to now. Furthermore, is it just that I’m the problem here? Is being a middle aged man an actual impediment when it comes to listening to music that is being aimed at people 30 something years younger.

I’ll head back to artists like Modern Baseball and King Krule. Others have made me curious too. There’s a band called Mom Jeans and I just love the name so will definitely have to give them a try. And so, armed with more suggestions from my new music guru – my son – I’ll be heading back into the unknown sometime soon. And I’ll be sure to update you on episode 2.

Always Look on The Bright Side – Five things that made me smile in April.

Another month, another shot at finding those lighter moments that might make you smile or could even be so good that they make your heart sing. So, what did April do to make me put on a happy face?

Art at Oakwell Hall. I’ll keep this short and sweet because I’ve written a piece about it elsewhere. However, a local country park – and also the place where I volunteer as a Parkrun marshall – is hosting something called ‘Art on your doorstep’, meaning that 12 notable works from the National Gallery can now be found in the grounds of the park. They’re larger versions and copies, obviously, but I must say, they brighten every Saturday at the moment!

Blossom! That’s right folks, it’s that fantastic time of year when some of us are lucky enough to have blossom on trees all around us. I was reminded of this when I read an article on ‘Sakura’ or cherry blossom season in Japan. But while I have been out running locally, I couldn’t help but notice the sheer amount of blossom trees around where I live and some of them are spectacular. And talking of blossom, or indeed just noticing it, never fails to remind me of arriving in Washington DC for a trip a few years and our lovely taxi driver cheerily informing us that it was a shame we hadn’t been there a week earlier as the whole place was covered in blossom. Well meaning I’m sure, but maybe not something to tell your new arrivals about in a kind of ‘here’s what you could’ve won’ way! I don’t think he got the job with the Tourist Information office…

Saltaire. Saltaire, just outside of Bradford in West Yorkshire is a place I have a little bit of knowledge about due to frequently driving through it on my way to visit in laws. Built by mill owner Titus Salt in the 19th century, it was a place where his workers could live a happy life. But an article I read last month revealed a lot more to smile about with Saltaire. The article told how Titus Salt was ‘meeting every possible human need’ a century before the welfare state by providing education, improved hygiene and even pensions for his workers. Salt’s workers were known for their long service and within the village infant mortality improved along with lifespans extending. Saltaire is still a very picturesque place today, but dig a little deeper and we find that from its inception it vastly improved lives. Now isn’t that something to smile about?

An axolotl in Wales. I must admit that while I knew the name, I would have struggled to actually tell you what an axolotl was. So I was fascinated reading an article about a girl finding one in a stream in Wales. It was found near some rocks under a bridge as 10-year-old Evie Hill played in the water. When she noticed that it had damage to its tail and stomach she quickly caught it and took it to safety. Apparently, estimates reckon there are at most 1000 left globally, so while I wasn’t sure about the family keeping it as a pet, it does feel like a good news story.

The Boston Marathon. This was the story of the two runners who sacrificed their chance at personal bests in order to stop and help a stricken runner in the latest Boston Marathon. I understand the feeling of wanting to run faster only too well, so it was brilliant to see two runners sacrifice themselves in order to help someone who was obviously in so much trouble. The runner in question had collapsed just after the 26 mile mark and literally couldn’t get back to his feet. As more and more runners streamed past, kicking for the finish, two thought better of it and stopped to help. The three then finished together. Sometimes, people are just fantastic.

A day in Roundhay Park. With our school Easter holidays being in April it meant some much needed time off. It also meant the chance to do the type of things I don’t often have time for in term time. As she’s now living in York for her studies I don’t get to see my daughter that much, but as she was home for two weeks we decided we’d find a gap in her busy social life and have a day out together, like we used to when she was much younger. This time though there’d be less wellies, ball games and running around in the hope of tiring her out. So, off we went, just a dad and his grown up daughter, for a day out at Roundhay Park in Leeds. Roundhay Park was designed and built by the Nicholson family in the 1800s and now covers over 700 acres of land in north Leeds. In short, it’s beautiful and quite a popular place with our family. While we’d normally take a picnic, on the day in question we went on the hunt for somewhere to eat locally. However, after a wander around Roundhay itself, we decided it was a bit too posh and just doubled back to get something at the café at the Mansion restaurant in the park. It’s amazing what a sausage roll and a portion of chips in the sun will do for your mood! After lunch we went for a walk in the park, but unfortunately lost our bearings and took a wrong turn. It actually led to a lovely walk through a beautiful part of the park that we’d never discovered, but it also meant that we ended up a little bit lost and having to have a brisk walk across the local golf course while a bunch of people waited on the tee! All in all, a lovely day out in beautiful, sunny surroundings and in the company of someone who’s absolutely precious to me. Plenty of reasons to smile!

And there we have it once more! Another instance of ‘Five Reasons…’ where in fact, there was so much to smile about that I couldn’t just leave it at five. I hope you enjoyed reading!

The Art of Parkrun at Oakwell Hall.

Most Saturdays, I spend a couple of the morning hours volunteering as a marshall at one of our local Park Run events. Apart from the early start, it’s easy enough and usually quite good fun as well as being set in the wonderful surroundings of Oakwell Hall Country Park. Even in the rain, it’s a beautiful place to be.

So, as usual I was looking forward to our walk up to our marshalling point a couple of weeks ago. We tend to take the long way round – got to get those steps in! – which takes us over a couple of streams and eventually up through the woods and up to the highest point of the park with its brilliant view of the surrounding area. But this week there was something new to feast our eyes on. Art. Art, everywhere!

We’d noticed some new additions a few weeks ago as what appeared to be the ‘legs’ for new signage was in place. But now, things had been completed with the addition of massive replicas of some old classic works of art. So, before we’d walked more than a few yards we’d been treated to a bit of Van Gogh!

A bit of research revealed that this was part of the ‘Art on your Doorstep’ exhibition which is running at Oakwell from April until September this year. Apparently there are 14 reproductions of National Gallery paintings now positioned around the park. Each one features some accompanying text which is a collaborative effort between Batley Girls School, Ravenshall School and a local walking group called the Friday Wanderers.

I’m a little bit of an art fan and we’ve been known to visit the odd gallery across the years, including going to the Alte Pinakothek in Munich a few years back where we saw Van Gogh’s ‘Sunflowers’. So, imagine my surprise when we turned a corner at Oakwell and there it was again!

When we reached our marshalling point we found that right opposite where we stand was another painting; this time it was Turner’s ‘Rain, Steam and Speed’ which I’d never seen before and was an obvious attraction for many of the runners as they passed. It must have made a nice change from our faces and inane clapping, I suppose!

Once the running was done we took a slight detour on our way back to the start in order to search out any more art and were lucky enough to stumble across Monet’s ‘The Water-lily Pond’…you know, the one with the bridge!

We only managed to see 5 of the available artworks during our time at Oakwell that week but we’ve managed to search out a couple more in the last couple of weeks. And we’ve been tipped off as to the location of a few more! It’s a brilliant initiative and well worth a look if your near the park any time between now and September. It certainly brightened up our rainy morning.

Always Look on the Bright Side; Things that made me smile in August.

August is a month where I fall out of routine. As a teacher, I’m enjoying the summer break; six weeks of work free bliss. And because of that, I rarely remember to keep up with the routines that I establish during term times, including looking for the little smile worthy positive moments in the news. So, this month, my bright sides are a bit more generalised.

Summer and a bit of a heat wave. Now, I feel it’s best to quantify the term ‘heatwave’. I live in England which is never particularly warm in comparison to a lot of other countries. However, this year, for a week or so we had a bona fide heatwave and temperatures that at times became unbearable. Why smile then, you might ask. Simple. Being without work for 6 weeks meant that I was free to sit out in the garden on such hot days and chat to family or read a book or even, if I was feeling a little more ambitious, do a bit of gardening. And it’s wonderful just to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. In the north of England it’s easy to get used to the wind and the rain and so it’s always a reason to smile when the sun gets out in summer.

We’ve got a clean patio! Having had a lovely family holiday in Wales we returned to normal life that included the added bonus of a patio now full of weeds. We’d done some work getting them off before we’d left but when we got back home after a week it was like a mini jungle. Now, after much trowel work, boiling water pouring and sweeping our patio looks lovely and it’s been fantastic being able to sit there in the sun without wishing it wasn’t a mess. Sometimes, it’s the strangest of things that can raise a smile!

My son’s GCSE results. Despite the fact that it feels like mere minutes ago that I was regularly picking my kids up from their primary school’s after school club, they’re in fact both finished in regular education. The youngest, my son, finished Year 11 in July of this year and so picked up his GCSE results near the end of August. He passed everything, which was great, achieving excellent results in Maths, English Language and i Media. It’s obviously really stressful for everyone, especially him while waiting for the results, so knowing that he got through it all so well was more than enough reason for a bit of a smile. It’s nice to know that he’s got that particular hurdle out of the way. Now he’s just got to do it all again with 2 year’s worth of A-Levels!

Newcastle. My home city, the place I was born and raised and unfortunately, somewhere I left when I was in my early twenties. Every August gives me plenty of time to visit home and catch up with family and friends. And this August I was lucky enough to be able to visit twice. Firstly, I took my son up to watch a Newcastle United match. Just a friendly game, but it was the first time I’d been in a while and it felt wonderful to be back in the stadium, being part of a fabulous atmosphere and just being able to watch my team. A week later we visited again for a couple of days in order to see family and friends, catching up with everyone that we wanted to see and having a great time. My dad hasn’t been in the best of health for the last year and so it’s good to check in with him and see that he’s gradually getting stronger again. He’s not quite the same, but it’s comforting and more than enough to bring a smile to my face to see that he’s getting better.

Running. I’ve had a strange year with fitness and have never quite got myself to the levels that I want. It’s been very ‘stop, start’ with illness and injury dominating, meaning I’ll get out for maybe two or three runs in a row and then suffer some kind of setback. However, towards the end of August I felt like I’d made a breakthrough. Having injured my back and worrying that I wouldn’t be able to run for at least a couple of weeks, I recovered within less than a week and was running again. Fingers crossed, everything’s been fine since and although I’m not running with a smile on my face – more a grimace – I’m finding a little bit of consistency. There’s always a positive to be found!

So there we have it; another month, another five things to smile about. Hopefully I’ll have lots to smile about in September, despite having to go back to work!

Always Look on The Bright Side: Five Things that Made me Smile in June.

It’s that time again! Time to see if I can help anybody out with a bit of something more upbeat. Every month I make a note of the kind of things that raise a smile in my day and then at the start of the next one, I relay them to you, dear reader. So here are June’s little moments. Oh, and there are seven for the price of five this month!

The sun. Granted, there have been a few days and nights where it has been far too hot, but it’s just lovely to get to this time of year and feel the full warmth of the sun. Especially when you live in northern Britain, where we can go for weeks fully convinced that it’s not actually up there any more. So, despite the fact that it’s led to some pretty sweaty classrooms and a good few uncomfortable sleeps, it’s been lovely to feel the sun again. Here’s hoping that it can stick around for at least a couple of months.

Night time walks. I’ve been struggling to sleep now that the temperature has risen. It’s also affected my running habits; I find running with a pacemaker in this heat can feel absolutely dreadful. And so, I’ve taken to going for walks at night. Usually we’ve been going out after 9pm, either myself and my wife, myself and my son or just all three of us. It isn’t working in terms of helping me sleep, but it’s good as I can’t go out and run so much, so it keeps up a level of fitness. The best of it though, is that it makes for some lovely chats, especially with my son who I don’t always get to chat to, such is his status as bedroom bound typical teenage boy! I really love spending time with my family, so these walks have enabled a bit of that too and that’s definitely something to smile about.

My son finished his GCSEs! This made me smile because it doesn’t seem more than a few minutes since I was helping my wife edge across Leeds to the maternity ward while she was in labour with said son! Fifteen years on – he’s 16 this month – and he’s just finished his formal education. Reason enough to sigh and exhale forcefully at the perceived speed of it all, but also reason enough to smile.

The Leeds 10k. It’s not been a great year running-wise, so far. Just illness after illness and barely enough energy to get through the day, let alone go out running. Thankfully, I focused myself on a month of training, determined to get into a fit enough state to get round the Leeds 10k. And I did it! It was quite a tough one on a relatively warm day, but I got round in a respectable enough time, so I’ll take that. So although I was shattered as I crossed the finish line, it wasn’t long before I was smiling. I’ve written a blog about the day that’s on the link below if you fancy reading about it.

Power Up signs, smiling more and a bloody cricketer! The Leeds 10k.

Discovering Folk Bitch Trio. I listen to a lot of music. Perhaps not as much as before having a family, but still a lot of music. At work, one of my daily rituals involves listening to BBC 6 Music whenever I get a chance. It’s on as soon as my laptop is up and running in the morning and then back on as soon as I have any non contact time. 6 Music plays a huge range of stuff and this means that I’ll inevitably discover stuff that I’ve never heard before. Usually I make a note of the artist and or song on a Post It and then take that home for Alexa to work her magic. The brilliantly named – and brilliant – Folk Bitch Trio are my latest find. They remind me a bit of First Aid Kit and Haim, both of whom I really like.With Folk Bitch Trio, I enjoyed their music and loved their name. All in all, they made me smile partly because of their name and their music, but also because discovering new music or even old stuff that I’ve never heard is always a reason to smile for me.

New runners. Short and sweet, this one. I’d been after some new running trainers for a while now, but didn’t fancy paying ridiculous money. So, I’d been looking for offers and discounts to help me out while reading a lot of reviews to find what might be the best pair for me. I’ve had a pair of Saucony Ride 17s for a while now and love them. However, I’d got a deal on them and they only cost about £70. Anything comparable now was looking like costing me well over £100. And then, out of nowhere, Sportshoes.com sent me an email with 30% off certain brands and after a bit of deliberation I got some new Saucony Ride 18s for £90! They’re bright orange and beautiful and I’m looking forward to wearing them in and covering lots of miles in them!

June’s gone! Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against June. But the reason I’m able to smile about it waving goodbye for another year is that we have two family birthdays in June. Again, it’s not that I don’t like the people or their birthdays. What I don’t like is the pressure I put on myself for buying presents for my wife and the pressure that also comes from my daughter’s birthday, which is always a big deal and comes just two days after my wife’s. Life towards the end of June is just chaotic and so, frankly, I’m smiling again now that it’s July!

So there we have it. Proof that even in the smallest things we can find something to smile about…even when your legs feel like they’re going to fall off and you feel sick while dragging yourself up one last hill!

Always Look on the Bright Side: Five Things that Made me Smile in May.

So, here we are again. Delving into the everyday positives that can be found…even if you tend to wander round with your head in the clouds like me! It doesn’t take much to find something that will be sure to make you smile.

So what did the trick in May?

Toddlers named World Puddle Jumping champions! I mean even without the detail there’s enough to raise a smile even with the headline alone. However, last month I read about Eli and his twin sisters Maia and Neeve from Northampton whose mum had submitted a video of them jumping in puddles to the organisers of the World Puddle Jumping Championships. The championships are run by Wicksteed Park, a tourist attraction in Northamptonshire, who decided that these muddy puddle loving siblings were the winners. There’s no trophy; winners receive a cuddly toy and tickets for a family day out at the park. Let’s hope it’s raining that day!

Star Wars Teabag art! This was such a great story! Artist Caroline West has been busy making miniature paintings of Star Wars scenes on tea bags. As someone who loves a bit of art and is also a Star Wars fan this one was always going to make me smile. Caroline first dries the teabags out, empties them and then irons them flat before painting her masterpieces. And they really are fantastic. Apparently she has created 30 tiny paintings and given them all Star Wars themed names like Brewbacca and R2Tea2.

Another artist! Drawing London using a fine liner. I’ll say it again – I’ve always loved art. I was reasonably good at it as a kid (and can still turn my hand to it a little bit nowadays) but I really admire people who can paint, draw or even take great photographs. This time it’s an artist called Jack Nolan who has drawn the whole of central London using only fine liners. And he’s spent nearly 1000 hours doing it! This raised a smile mainly because of how good it looks, but also for the amount of skill and dedication involved in getting it just right. Have a look for yourselves!

My daughter arriving home. Not as simple as it sounds, this one. She hasn’t just got the bus back from work or something. I’ve mentioned in a previous ‘Five Things’ how proud I was that she’d sought out adventure in her gap year by travelling to South East Asia and exploring Thailand, Vietnam and Singapore. Well, in the middle of May she returned! There were lots of tears (not mine!) and laughter when we picked her up from the airport, but mainly this was just an enormous reason to smile. Not only is she safe and well, but she’s been through a whole raft of enormous experiences that, as she enters a bit more of the adult world, I hope will stand her in good stead for what she’s got to come in life.

I became a superhero…finally! I started a new job at the beginning of this academic year. It’s an all boys school in an entirely new academies trust after I left my old place having become frustrated with the trust that I was working for. I didn’t feel valued, which struck me as a strange way to treat someone with nearly a quarter of a century of English teaching experience. I was assured by friends who worked at my new place that our trust was vastly different and it didn’t take long for me to realise how true this was. Within a couple of months I was more happy than a middle aged man should have been to be named Star of The Week at our school, with the Head teacher waxing lyrical about me in our meeting. He’d sat in on one of my lessons with a particularly difficult group, so it was great to hear so many positives. And it’s continued with plenty of people having good things to say about my teaching over the last few months. A couple of weeks ago though, things got even better when I was named as a ‘Staff Superhero’ on a document that was sent across the whole trust! Again, lots of nice things were said about me and even at my age it’s lovely to get a bit of credit for hard work. Such pats on the back are not why I do the job, but still, it’s nice to feel valued at any time, really. I’m still waiting on my cape and lycra costume though…

So, there you go; proof once again that even though you might have to upturn a few stones and look a little harder than you might like at times, there are always positives to enjoy and things to turn that frown upside down!

Always look on the bright side: Five Things that Made Me Smile in March.

Despite March being a bit of a dull month, there have actually been more than the usual number of things that have made me smile this time around. So, it’s a bumper month for this particular series, which may or may not make you smile in turn.

My daughter’s off travelling. A double edged sword this one. In actual fact, it’s made me a bit sad. She’s a bit of a whirlwind, my daughter, and so the house is far less noisy and chaotic without her, which is both a blessing and a curse. Put it this way; she’s easy to miss! Essentially though, my little girl is far out of reach and that is a huge worry, as well as being something that I admire her for. I’m very proud of her for doing something so adventurous and so brave. So, it makes me smile. In the build up to going travelling she’s worked three jobs (if you include her successful social media career which does actually bring the money in) in order to save up the funds for the trip. She’s gone with a friend and despite the fact that it feels like maybe they should have done more research and it’s all very scary as a parent, they seem to be coping with life in South East Asia and it makes me smile that they’ve had the guts, determination and imagination to get on and do this. Just under two months until we see her again though…

Applestump Records. I read a brilliant and rather inspiring story about record collector Steve Cook on the BBC website this month. As COVID restrictions hit and Steve and his wife were no longer able to indulge their hobby of touring record shops in the pursuit of elusive vinyl, they came up with a plan; bring the record shop to them! Initially they started a website with just 80 records to sell, but when a chance to sell at a pop up market came along they realised that they might well be able to start a shop. And so, Applestump Records was born and now sells not only records and merchandise, but also stages intimate gigs too. Once upon a time, I’d wondered about starting up a book shop, but never did, preferring the safe option. Steve’s story made me smile…but I probably won’t be following his example any time soon. Not this close to retirement!

Youngest Brit to surf the infamous big waves of Nazare. I’ve been fascinated by surfing for as long as I can remember. I even tried it a few times while on holiday in the Algarve. The waves weren’t the best – more like big ripples at times – but for a few days a bit of a storm hit and we were treated to something that made things a bit more of a thrill. Mainly though, my interest was limited to reading books and articles as well as watching documentaries and films dedicated to surfing and surfers, which is how I happened upon the story of Garrett McNamara and the 100 foot waves of Nazare in Portugal. If you haven’t seen it, Google him and Nazare and have a watch. Anyway, to cut what could be a very long story short, 18 year old Robyn Larg from Scotland recently surfed Nazare becoming the youngest British person to have done so. If you’re any kind of fan of surfing you’ll understand the achievement. If you have five minutes to Google ‘Nazare’, you’ll be amazed by its story.

The Wakefield 10k. Another race done, another step taken in adjusting to life with a pacemaker. I didn’t run as fast as last year, but have been shaking off the effects of a winter bug for what feels like a couple of months. However, I was less than a minute slower than last year’s time, so I’ll take that as it was way faster than I expected. I don’t really care what people think about me banging on about my health or running; every time another race gets completed, I smile because it’s nice to still be alive.

The Dropped Wallet Experiment. I watched a short film the other day that really gave us all cause for optimism. A reporter in Belfast decided to conduct and experiment to judge the levels of kindness in the city. In each wallet he left his phone number on a note to ask people to call it if they found the wallet. Soon he was taking calls from concerned members of the public who’d found his wallet. When asked why they’d called the number the overwhelming response was that they wanted to be kind or that it was the right thing to do. So, the first thing we find out here is that there are definitely kind people around. In fact, all 10 wallets were returned, which is a definite reason to smile. This made me think of a recent time when I lost my credit card. I hadn’t lost it at all, just misplaced it in my wallet. However, when I asked staff at the shop I’d been in I found myself passed from department to department, all seemingly not too interested in helping. Having finally got a security guard to review his camera footage, I made one last check in my wallet and found the card behind another in a totally different part of said wallet. Suffice to say, the kindness that I witnessed on film from Belfast didn’t seem to exist in my corner of Leeds. I still managed a smile though…this time at my own stupidity!

A rogue ‘eagle’. This one comes via a local Facebook group, so given the extent of the madness found on these, we can reserve judgement on whether it’s true or not! However, having read many of the comments, there have been numerous sightings. Anyway, apparently an enormous eagle type bird has been spotted close to our local area. People assumed it was a red kite that we see locally on a regular basis, but apparently it’s not. It’s actually around where I work, but that isn’t too far from home. There are various reports of various sightings, ranging from just flying around to swooping down and eating local cats. Who knows the truth? Anyway, whatever the truth I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled, scanning the skies in the hope of seeing it. So far, just the usual sparrows, magpies and pigeons though!

Michael Sheen. Michael Sheen is without doubt an excellent actor and frankly, a bit of a national treasure. But a story I read this month has elevated his status even more. Sheen has been busy setting up a debt acquisition company in order to help people in Wales. He used £100,000 of his own money to buy debts of £1m and then just write them off, saying that it seemed like ‘a good thing to do’. Apparently the debts are often ‘bundled up’ and sold off for less than their worth, so Sheen realised that he’d be able to help out. What a fantastic thing to do! Not all heroes wear capes.

And so ends another edition in this optimistic series of blogs. A bumper one too, with 7 stories for the price of 5…which actually cost nothing anyway.

It’s brilliant to find out that there are so many good things going on and so many good people to be thankful for, when at times the world can feel like a cruel, harsh place where only the heartless seem to thrive. I hope you enjoyed reading!

Poetry Blog: Pier

This is a poem that, as we near the end of another British summer, just seems appropriate. It’s hopefully one that lots of people can relate to, especially us Brits.

I wrote this after we had headed to Llandudno for a short break in summer last year. We spent time walking along the promenade as well as up into the hills that can be found just a short distance from the sea. We’d spent time relaxing, eating cake and drinking coffee in lovely cafes and of course, we’d spent time in the amusements! This is where the poem came from because the amusements in Llandudno can be found on the pier.

Pier

Your eyes dart everywhere,
as you walk, you're bombarded from above 
by a terror that could leave a lasting scar
or worse still, a stain, a smell, 
a memory that could ruin coastal towns forevermore
and yet still, you can't quite concentrate on the airborne menace.

Rough boards trodden on for hundreds of years
promise pleasure while hinting at danger
with every glimpse of the waves far beneath.
Children wander aimlessly, 
all grabbing hands and voices that match the decibels of those gulls.  

Groups of adults attempt to keep them in check,
while flocks of teens loiter with barely disguised intent.
Ice creams and candy floss are wolfed down
for fear of attack from above and the hordes
of ever more bold screeching thieves.

Duck inside an arcade and the senses
are overwhelmed by the kaleidoscope colour
of copycat prizes combined with the sounds of machines
competing busily for attention,
while people push past, eager for a moment of mindless fun.

Copper coins, salvaged from a long cherished jar,
are thrust with military precision into a slot
in the hope of the displacement 
that will win tokens to be exchanged for tat,
yet still, it is an Olympic podium style thrill 
that's felt as those coins finally crash.

Hours later, as you blink again into the sun  
and set foot on more solid ground,
pockets are lighter, nerves shredded,
arms ache and knees creak as you trudge, 
wearily away, excitement over, another seaside day almost at an end.

On a previous trip to the one described above I’d actually been divebombed and flown into by a seagull. It sort of clonked me on the head! They’re a menace at most seaside towns these days. However, I’ve never had my food stolen by one or indeed suffered the indignity of being hit by their flying poo!

I’m not really a fan of the amusement arcades, despite being so when I was younger. However, my family love them and so every trip to a coastal town means spending hours in multiple arcades, never really feeling the tension and excitement that they do at the jeopardy of the machines.

Regardless, I was struck by just how much was actually going on when we made this trip and found myself making notes in some downtime, which later would become this poem. I hope you enjoyed it!

It was a bittersweet July.

It’s been a little while since I’ve actually written anything. In fact, this is the first time I’ve got my hands on a keyboard in the month of August. Suffice to say that July was a bit of an emotional one and as a result, it took its toll on me.

The most bittersweet part of it all was leaving work. I’d worked at Thornhill Community Academy in Dewsbury for 9 years, having trained there – it was my second teaching practice school – 25 years ago. All in all that’s a long time to be associated with a place of work and a community. I always felt like I’d go back there and when I did, I didn’t think I’d leave before retirement.

Nothing lasts forever though and having suffered with my health over the last couple of years I was finding less and less enjoyment in my work. Having all but collapsed there in 2022, my classroom made me feel uncomfortable and at times really quite sad. Add that to a raft of other problems and I knew I’d have to leave. So, when an opportunity to work with some of my friends came up, I eventually applied and was lucky enough to get the job.

Leaving a job I’d been in for almost a decade was a real wrench though. I’ve made lots of friends, had the professional pleasure of working with some brilliant people, loved the school and hopefully had a positive effect on some of my students. I was almost moved to tears during my leaving speech, but just about managed to keep it together – if you were in the room, I can confirm that there were no tears, just a really ugly crying face!

I’ll miss so many people and September is going to feel very strange indeed, but I hope that my new start will serve to inspire me a bit and whet my appetite for teaching once again, as well as helping me to get over what really has to be the final hurdle in my recovery from illness! I mean, how long can it take?!

Despite the upheaval, I actually feel positive. I’m probably far too old to be making a fresh start, but I feel like I have the energy and the people around me to make it a success. More to the point, I feel like I want to make it a success. I feel enthusiastic, while also feeling like there’s no way I want to let people down. So in September, I’ll be enjoying a far shorter commute and throwing myself into it all at an entirely new school while working with more than enough familiar faces to allow me to feel fairly comfortable from the off.

Of course, the end of an academic year signals the start of summer for those of us in education. And so, as sad as I felt to leave my job I had the benefit of 6 weeks holiday to cushion the blow and mix some sweetness into the bitterness.

First up in the break was heading to Wales for a family holiday and that never fails to raise a smile and make me feel relaxed. The weather wasn’t perfect, but we still managed a few days on the beach, as well as trips out to Barmouth and Pwllheli. All in all, to finish work on the Friday and then be on a beach the next day made for a lovely couple of days. Then, to add in lots of fun in the week that followed added up to a genuinely brilliant break.

A personal highlight for me was being able to fit in two runs. I run on every holiday and have done for a while now when we go to Wales. However, usually I head up some nearby hills before running down to a nearby coastal village and then looping back around again towards our cottage. This time, feeling tired, I decided to take a flatter route which would enable me to do something I’ve never done before; run along the beach.

The beach at the end of the road is a couple of miles long and then, if you’re lucky and the tide’s out sufficiently, you can clamber over some rocks onto a beautiful, peaceful little cove. I was able to do just that on both of the occasions that I ran. Both times I went out early in the morning and both times there was barely another soul to be seen. It was amazingly peaceful, while also being really hard work as sand just saps the strength from your legs.

On the morning of our last full day, not only did I run along the beach, but when I got round to the quiet cove there were two herons feeding in the shallows and I was able to sit and watch them for ages while having the whole place to myself. More than enough to make you smile!

So, having left behind a place of work that gave me a fantastic 9 years and felt all the sadness that you’d expect, I was able to spend a wonderful week with my family and experience the kind of calm coupled with genuine elation that I’m guessing doesn’t come along too often. Like I said, it was a bittersweet July!