middleagefanclub

Poetry Blog: Icebreaker

We had a week’s worth of snow days for our first week of the half term, which meant that despite setting work and trying to get stuff done around the house, I actually had a bit of time on my hands. Struck by inspiration today, I sat and wrote a poem. It’s not in any way serious, although the actual physical acts described did actually happen. Part way through writing something serious I just decided it was too good an opportunity for something silly and so changed the way it was going. I hope you like it.

Icebreaker

After two days trapped in limbo by first, several whole inches of snow
and now an actual coating of not only quite thick but also horribly slippy ice,
action is called for.
And when people call for action you'd like to think it's you they have in mind...

You've already lugged the deadweight of a kid's beach bucket full of grit for miles across this frozen corner of West Yorkshire.
Your back, damp with manly sweat, is already hurty.
Now, you stand in what is either a power pose or your audition for Drag Race, shovel in hand even though the snow has made it's metal handle really cold and you've forgotten your gloves.
The only bloke in the street brave enough to tackle the ice. Behind their curtains they watch you, rapt, you think.
Frankly, if you're forced to say so yourself, you're a hero.
They will call you Icebreaker. Maybe.

Seizing your tool and raising it high,
you plunge it at the ice.
It rebounds with force but your teeth remain intact.
Oh, for an axe.
Not to be deterred, you plunge once more and a whole whisp of snow
leaps into the air...then lands back on the very ground you were working on.
Nevertheless, your momentarily spirits soar.
You thrust once more, again, again and again, ignoring the cold and mindful, ever mindful of the imaginary fact that the whole street are watching and probably, later on, will take to their doorsteps to clap their appreciation of their hero key worker, only stopping when the last of the snow is gone.

Ten minutes later, wheezing and clutching your back,
you limp back to the house, muttering and licking the bleeding knuckle
that you nicked on your own spade,
having cleared an entire two square feet of treacherous snow and ice.
In your mind you are a gladiator who fears no foe.
In the hallway mirror you look like Albert Steptoe.

So, there you go. Luckily, I’m well practiced at laughing at myself, what with being a bit of a kn**head and all. In my defence it was very cold and the ice was very thick. I went out later and did more as well. And before anyone questions my logic, there’s a bit of a grit shortage so I was keen to use a little bit and then dig the rest of the ice out, saving some grit for later.

I have to say, it was a poem that I really enjoyed writing. I haven’t written or finished one in ages, but this one is more or less a first draft. I wrote it down in my note back with a few arrows pointing to late additions when I changed my mind about its seriousness.

I hope you enjoyed it. Maybe it’ll raise a smile the next time your clearing some ice and snow. If you’re as heroic as me, that is!

The Pacemaker Diaries: It’s been two years.

You wouldn’t know it with the amount that I probably bang on about it, but I genuinely didn’t want having a pacemaker to define me. Still, I write about it, think about it constantly, find myself telling people things about it and frequently catch myself looking at my scar in the mirror or prodding away at the bit at the top of my chest where my wires are sticking up, right at the surface.

That said, a quick search of my posts tells me that the last time I wrote a ‘Pacemaker Diary’ was actually in November 2023, a whole year after it was fitted. So, even though it’s been mentioned in some pieces I’ve written since, maybe I’m not banging on about it quite as much as I imagine. Anyone I speak to regularly can feel free to correct me on that though!

I was prompted to write this post because of Facebook memories of all things. In the lead up to Christmas and New Year just gone it felt like every few days there’d be something popping up where I was thanking people for their support or updating friends on my progress. They reminded me of both how poorly I’d been and also how far I’d come and they made me do a lot of thinking about the little machine that sits in my chest.

It’s been over 2 years since I had the pacemaker fitted. I didn’t pay much attention to the anniversary this time around. Sometimes there’s just too much going on in life for you to pause and have a think about stuff. But those Facebook memories changed all that and made me want to write something down about what life’s like these days. Self indulgent? I don’t know really, but I guess if you think that way you have the option of clicking that little x in the corner of your screen and not reading on.

I think writing about it simply helps me get on with life, which might be a bit more understandable when I tell you what it’s all like.

The pacemaker makes me feel a lot more comfortable about life, that’s for sure. I hardly ever worry about my heart. But paradoxically, it is always there to remind of just how poorly I was and the long, long time that it took me to get better. On top of that it’s a constant reminder of how low it all made me feel and the worryingly negative effects it had on my mental health.

There are both positives and negatives when it comes to having this device though and those reminders on social media made me think about a few of them. The first is just a bit of a change, I suppose, although does feel slightly negative. These days, my heart literally thumps when there’s not really been a great deal of effort. I’ve noticed it when climbing stairs and also that when getting into bed and straightening out the duvet, once I settle down my heart will be thumping! As someone who had an unnaturally low heart rate prior to all this – one of the reasons for the pacemaker – that takes a bit of getting used to!

Having the pacemaker has really made me focus on my health and fitness to the point where I’m really quite obsessive and possibly even a little evangelical about running! Silly really, but it genuinely makes me feel strong being able to run, especially in actual races. I couldn’t recommend it enough, even though I’m aware it’s not everybody’s cup of tea!

Another negative is that I live with a heart monitor by the side of my bed. This makes me feel really, really old! The monitor doesn’t do much, but I’m aware it’s feeding data back to the hospital which still feels a little bit weird. As I mentioned earlier as well, I have another scar as well as a strange bit on my chest where my wires just stick upwards. It’s a neat little scar, but those wires spoil things and coupled with the big scar that I have on my chest from a childhood heart operation, it’s not a great look!

My condition means that I still get heart palpitations, albeit nowhere near as regularly as I was having them for large parts of 2022 before my operation. However now, when they come I can rest assured that the pacemaker will kick in after about 5 seconds and stop them. It’s still quite a frightening thing, especially when it feels like the pacemaker isn’t going to react. The thought of having them for untold hours and just trying to get on with my day while wondering if I was about to pass out is a memory that still lingers! Still, that pacemaker is reassuring though.

Another drawback is that my left arm and shoulder don’t seem to work very well anymore. My scarring is really close to my left shoulder and I assume that it’s affected things as I haven’t got full movement and my left arm isn’t as ‘strong’ as it used to be. I mean, it wasn’t strong anyway, but it’s just a bit pathetic nowadays!

The final gripe I have is with my aftercare. I’ve only had one follow up appointment with a cardiologist since it all happened. Even that wasn’t actually scheduled. It was an appointment about a 24 hour monitor I’d worn, but in between times I’d had to have my pacemaker fitted, so the appointment was made later because the cardiologist didn’t realise and had to spend a load of time reading my notes before actually seeing me! Since then – January 2023 – there have been a couple of scans done but no meeting with actual doctors, which feels wrong.

I have had a letter from my hospital saying that a planned appointment had been rescheduled for later in the year, but I hadn’t even been informed about the planned appointment, so it’s all a bit of a mystery really! Luckily, I feel fit and healthy but it is concerning not to be speaking to someone when we’re almost 2 years on from the last appointment.

All in all, it’s been a bit of a whirlwind. Two years of major change that, just when you think you’ve almost forgotten about it and are living pretty normally, comes back to haunt you via bloody Facebook of all things! Clearly, while this pacemaker doesn’t really define me, it’s never going to leave me either!

Jacob Murphy: Still living the dream!

In April of 2023 I wrote a piece about Jacob Murphy and his contribution to Newcastle United at that time. Put simply, Jacob Murphy was living the dream!

At the time Murphy had been starring in the 2022/2023 as we headed towards Champions League qualification. He’d scored a screamer against Spurs in that 6-1 game and been an integral part of the team in our two legged Carabao Cup semi final victory over Southampton. Who could forget him waving Duja Caleta Car off after his red card in the away leg? And although he couldn’t prevent us from losing the final, he would create more memories in the next season just by lining up for our first Champions League group game against AC Milan in the San Siro. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a player looking so pleased and proud and so bewildered just to be lining up for their club.

I also focused on the fact that, because we were his boyhood club, he was one of our own which made it feel that little bit better that he was doing so well. This was particularly relevant as, prior to Eddie Howe’s arrival, it had looked like his time at the club could have been over following some fairly lukewarm performances, a couple of loans away from the club and the impact of Steve Bruce and his merry gang of other Steves.

Fast forward to 2025 and Jacob Murphy is flying again. Having turned into somewhat of a marmite figure amongst fans for the last year or so, Jacob found himself back in the team towards the end of 2024. I don’t think too many people expected a great deal and the focus was still very much on the need for a right winger in the January transfer window. However, Murphy has enjoyed something of a renaissance since getting back in against Liverpool. In his last 8 games there have been 3 goals and 5 assists. His two goals in the game v Leicester were clinical and in truth he could and should have had a hat-trick that day. But he followed that performance up with a beauty in the next match away to Ipswich.

Murphy’s assists have been invaluable in the recent run. He got another one last night in what was a brilliant performance against Arsenal in the Carabao Cup semi final. He was also involved in the build up to the second goal too. Jacob has produced 4 assists in the last 7 league games and in 24/25 he’s the joint 5th top assister in the Premier League with the same amount of assists as every mackem’s favourite player Amad Diallo, the much hyped Bruno Fernandes and the mythical creature that is Cole Palmer. Clearly, Murph is having a real impact at this moment in time. Eddie Howe loves him. And but for some poor finishing by both Murphy and some of his team mates his goal and assist figures could have been significantly higher. Add to that his workrate and all round contribution and it’s fair to say that Jacob Murphy is well and truly back and living the dream again!

Which brings me to my final thought on the subject. And before I mention it I’ll just clarify and caveat this with the fact that in no way am I saying that this should happen, however much I like Murphy. That said, with Thomas Tuchel in the stands last Saturday as we beat Tottenham, what price an England call-up for Mr. Murphy? I’d imagine it’s highly unlikely with the amount of younger talent that Tuchel has to choose from, but I’d definitely say that England could do worse. Just a thought…

Ladies and gentlemen, Jacob Murphy is living the dream once again!

So it’s 2025…

I thought I’d write a quick update, given that it’s the very start of a new year and given that it was the middle of December when I wrote my last piece. No proper resolutions as such, but some hopes for the next 359 days added to a few thoughts about last year.

The new year started in what I’d call typical fashion…for me. I was poorly for starters, still shaking off the last of a flu bug that I’d picked up in the middle of last month, which meant that I wasn’t really at my best. However, I needed to up my game a bit come New Year’s Eve. It was my daughter’s first ever New Year where she went out rather than stayed in with the family, so as well as worrying about her, I was worried that New Year’s Eve would be a bit of a let down for the rest of the family.

I’m informed by my wife that I’m usually ill on New Year’s Eve and as a result am no fun whatsoever. Apparently, it’s my daughter that brings the fun. It’s also not a time of year that I enjoy though. I never have. So this year, I had to find my fun side. The problem being that it’s usually kept very well hidden!

We don’t get roaring drunk on New Year and we tired of going out on this particular date many years ago. Time was we would go to Edinburgh most years and have an absolute ball. Then we had a spell of spending it with close friends and we had some brilliant nights. Having children changed all that though. So for the last however many years it’s been a case of a big party tea, games, some music, some drinks and then watching the new year come in on the telly.

This year was no different, but I had to really concentrate on being super enthusiastic! Suffice to say, New Year’s Eve was a bit of a challenge. I won’t bore you with the details, but I think I just about succeeded! I even joined in with some games on our long lost Wii as well as playing charades for the second time of the festive period!

I’ve vowed that I’m going to get a lot fitter this year. According to Strava I ran 306 miles last year. I don’t know whether that’s a lot – I don’t think it is really – but I mean to increase it significantly this year. Towards the end of the year I was feeling good when out on runs and my times were within seconds of those from 2021 and 2022 when I set a lot of my personal bests. Obviously, since those years I’ve been very ill and had a pacemaker fitted, so my fitness dropped a lot! But last year I was getting closer and closer to those previous levels until that aforementioned flu bug.

I’ve already entered 3 races and will be entering more as the year progresses. I’m also hoping to do more yoga and add some strength training to my plans. I’m sure I’ll be able to keep you updated on how it’s all going.

Alongside my fitness plans I’m also going to try really hard to improve my diet, primarily by eating more fruit and vegetables. I’ve already started eating blueberries, but I’m aware that it’s no good starting if you don’t keep it up! I eat far too much chocolate and have a real weakness for crisps, so I’ll be cutting down there. I’ve also got a real taste for pasta since I’ve started cooking more and I’m aware that too much of those lovely sauces aren’t that good for me. So, I’ll need to start looking for some more healthy recipes, I think.

So, I’m going for the health and fitness cliches in 2025 then! I’ll keep you updated about them both! I’m also determined to get out and meet more people this year too. Or maybe just get out more with friends as a start off as I’m actually very shy. And the other thing that I’ll devote more time to will be looking into my pension and retirement plans. It doesn’t seem 5 minutes since I left university, but here we are; early fifties and thinking about retirement!

I went for my first run of the year on 3rd January. It had been exactly a month since my last one due to illness and I still wasn’t feeling 100%. I was adamant that I wasn’t too bothered by time or distance and yet I still managed to set off far too quickly! That in turn meant that my next mile was pretty poor and my legs were like jelly on some of the hills. However, I was delighted to drag myself round just over 5k in the end, even though I was pretty slow!

That wasn’t the end of things though! I’ve always seemed to have a problem with dogs and sometimes dog walkers when out running. I think dogs have knocked me over on at least 5 occasions and I’ve also had ‘words’ with a few owners who just seem oblivious to their dogs. It had been a while though and I thought my dog trouble might be a thing of the past. That was until when running through a group of dog walkers and their dogs I was almost blindsided by a lurcher! I heard a shout, looked over just in time and managed to pirouette myself out of the way of this sprinting hound. It caught me on the knee as it went past, but taking evasive action saved me. If it had hit me full on it would definitely have knocked me off my feet! Instead I survived to fight and run another day!

My final new year news is that we got a snow day today. I was sure that my school would be open after the snow fell on Saturday might and little more was added on Sunday. I got up for work this morning, was fully dressed apart from my tie and shoes and halfway through my breakfast when I was alerted to the fact that we were closed. Now I know that us teachers get more holidays than most – not enough mind you – and I know that I’ve just had two weeks off too, but I still cannot describe the sheer joy of getting a snow day! And although some of it has been spent out in the cold, walking my daughter to work and shovelling snow away, it’s still been absolutely fantastic!

Until the next time – Happy New Year!

Gallowgate Cult Heroes Number 10: Papiss Cisse

If you were to come up with a check list to define what makes a footballing cult hero then Papiss Cisse would tick a lot of boxes. Great relationship with the fans? Tick. Outrageous technique? Tick. Scorer of screamers? Tick. You could go on, because Cisse had a lot of great attributes that would endear him to the fans.

Signed in January 2012, Cisse was a bit of a mystery for most fans. I’m not even sure I remember the obligatory YouTube showreel of all his best bits! However, by the time he left the Toon, he most definitely had one.

Cisse, a Senegalese international, was signed for £9.3 million from SC Freiburg of the Bundesliga; a lot of money during the Mike Ashley era. He was very much an unknown quantity, albeit one who had behind him a very decent record for scoring goals in both France and Germany. But could he cut the mustard in the Premier League? We didn’t have to wait long to find out.

Cisse, wearing the cherished number 9 shirt, made his debut the following month against Aston Villa, coming on as a substitute for Leon Best. In a fairytale start to his career on Tyneside, Papiss scored an amazing, quite instinctive winner, chesting down a cross from Jonas Gutierrez just inside Villa’s box before lashing it on the half volley into the corner of the net at the Gallowgate. What a start! And Papiss would go on to make a habit of scoring important and spectacular goals!

In 5 seasons in black and white Cisse would score 44 goals, making 131 appearances. In his first season he notched 13 goals in 14 games, an incredible record. But after that injuries and at times a lack of form meant that he never really came close to fulfilling his potential. While he wasn’t exactly prolific – his record roughly equates to a goal every three games – Cisse would regularly light up games for Newcastle and he quickly became a bit of a crowd favourite.

His popularity with the crowd came for a few different reasons. Firstly, we’re well known for our love of a number 9 and not just because they happen to wear that shirt. We love a number 9 that fills the shirt, if you know what I mean. Someone who accepts the responsibility and rises to it. Papiss Cisse did just that. He was one of those players with a bit of flair and personality and it always felt like he just loved playing for the club.

Cisse also brought a certain level of entertainment to a side that, at that time, wasn’t all that entertaining. For me, he brought to mind Andy Cole, albeit being nowhere near as prolific. Consecutive seasons under Pardew, Carver then McClaren were all pretty dull, apart from the one that brought European football back under Pardew, yet Cisse always managed to stand out in what were at times, pretty dull sides.

And then there were the spectacular goals, starting with that first against Aston Villa. Cisse is probably most well known for the screamer scored from what felt like an impossible position out by the touchline away at Chelsea. You know the one; the ball was layed off to him, late in the game and rather than maybe taking a touch and protecting it or heading for the corner to kill time, he just lashed at it, producing a kind of banana shot that curled goalwards, looped over Peter Czech and nestled in the bottom of the net at the back post. A thing of wonder, although I’m sure I read a comment by Cisse somewhere saying that he was just too tired to do anything else than thrash at the ball!

There were others too. For me, his first in that same game against Chelsea was actually a better goal as he took a difficult ball down and then just volleyed it into the back of the net from just outside of the box. In that same season he also scored a beauty against Swansea away; a kind of scooped, curling effort into the far corner as he fell away from the ball off balance. In the following season he scored a peach of a volley from around 25 yards at home against Southampton and I definitely remember a couple of penalties that were just lashed into the top corner to give the keeper no chance.

Having watched all of his goals again in order to help write this, it seems that Cisse was much more a fox-in-the-box type of striker than I remembered though. He had a remarkable ability to find tiny pockets of space in the box and his movement was excellent. Time and time again he would lose his marker in order to finish from somewhere in the box. And at other times he’d be the only attacker there, but still manage to get away from 3 or 4 defenders in order to score.

Papiss Cisse might not have been the greatest striker that we’ve ever had at Newcastle United. He might not even make the top 10 in the last 20 years, come to think of it. However, for a short time, he was absolutely adored by Newcastle fans. Definitely a cult hero!

An Evening with Danny McNamara, Square Chapel Arts Centre, Halifax.

They say that you should never meet your heroes because they can only ever let you down. It brings to mind that scene from ‘Extras’ where Ricky Gervais’s character meets his hero, David Bowie, only for Bowie to humiliate him by making up a song called ‘Little Fat Man’ about Gervais in front of an entire restaurant and then having them sing along. Thankfully though, having recently met one of my heroes, I can completely refute the old adage! There were no humiliating songs, just a very memorable evening!

Danny McNamara, for those of you who don’t know, is the singer in the band Embrace; a band that I’ve loved and followed for the best part of 30 years. So when, a month ago he announced that he was going to be doing an ‘An Evening with Danny McNamara’ event in Halifax, well I was first in the queue, so to speak.

It’s fair to say that Embrace have a special bond with their fans. Thirty years will do that kind of thing, especially when you’re a band like Embrace who have always interacted with the fans. Over the years there have been various meet ups, ‘secret’ gigs where fans have had to track the band down using clues and loads more. And that’s before we even mention the music and the regular live shows. Suffice to say, spending an evening in the company of the singer was not to be missed.

On the night in question, we’re late out of the house, as usual. Still though, we arrive in Halifax in decent time to get to the venue and settle in. On the insistence of Mrs C, we take seats in the front row, but even she says that it feels awkward that we’ll be so up close and personal with Danny. Still, we stick to our guns.

It’s not just Danny tonight. First up, there’s support from Ellur who we’ve seen before and who is, as usual brilliant. You can read my review on the link below.

Middle Aged Gigging: Ellur at The Square Chapel, Halifax.

And then, at around 8pm, Danny is introduced and on we go!

He kind of ambles on to the stage like this is the most natural thing in the world. But it’s not though, is it? However, Danny the bloke, not the singer seems totally at ease and this is how it continues for the rest of the night. Never meet your heroes, my arse!

Despite my fears about feeling weird being sat so close to what is essentially just two fellas having a chat, I’m quick to forget about it. It genuinely feels like we’re just another part of the conversation, just sitting there listening in and occasionally even offering the odd opinion, whoop or even a round of applause.

Tonight Danny, doing exactly what it says on the tin, tells us all about his 30 years as the singer in Embrace. But more of that later. What he also offers us an insight into is, well…everything else really. He’s relaxed enough to let us in on life as a relatively new dad and the changes that having children have brought to him. We’re also privy to stuff about growing up, his views on dynamic pricing, a little bit of politics as well as some recommendations for music to have a listen to.

It’s when talking about Embrace that I have a little bit of a realisation though. Despite having followed them for all this time, I tend to forget how big they are and still see them as this indie band, almost my little secret in a strange way. And then along comes Danny McNamara casually mentioning playing Jimmy Kimmel, supporting Bowie at Glastonbury or hanging out with Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow and I realise that not only are Embrace still massive, but that Danny has had one hell of a life doing the kinds of stuff that I think we’d all like to have a go at!

Having spent the first half of the night being interviewed, Danny then fields audience questions. And it’s here that, for me personally, things start to get weird again. We’d joked about potential questions – What’s your favourite cheese? Why didn’t you come to our wedding? (it’s a long story) – as well as announcing myself casually as ‘Graham from the Middle Age Fanclub blog’, but when it comes down to it, although I have a sensible question I’m genuinely shaking a little bit as people start to ask their own and my heart is properly thumping in my chest! I avoid putting my hand straight up but then, feeling my wife’s eyes boring into the side of my face, sense an opportunity and go for it. At this point, Danny approaches me with the mic and I wonder if I might just pass out!

My question goes down really well though. I ask about touring 2000’s ‘Drawn From Memory’ next year (it’ll be 25 years old) and there are definitely noises of approval in the audience! Suddenly, I’m on stage and in the spotlight with one of my heroes. Kind of. Actually, I’m sat down and he’s walked back to his chair, but he tells me that the answer is actually very hush hush and a bit of an exclusive, so I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling like David Frost at this moment in time! And, I’ll continue to live under the illusion that only me and those who were there now know the answer to this question and the band’s plans for next year!

The rest of the audience questions feel like a bit of a blur, basking as I am in the glow of my own little moment, yet it’s still fascinating to hear Danny talk about lyrics and the song writing process as well as loads of other stuff.

However, there’s more to come. Another chance to embarrass myself as we get the chance to actually meet Danny. With literally no sense of irony we erred on the side of caution in bringing stuff to sign as we didn’t want to look like stalkers of any kind, so we only have a set list to sign and we buy a lyric book too. Others seem to have bags full of stuff though and so we’re a little regretful as we stand in line. However, that’s all appeased by the time it comes to our turn. We have a brief chat, get stuff signed and get a few photos too with me apologising in advance to Danny for shaking. I’ve always been the same. I once physically shook while meeting a Newcastle player that I didn’t even like (Kevin Dillon, if you must know) and he confounded my opinion of him by loudly letting the cat out of the bag to the whole room. Danny does nothing of the sort!

The conclusion of the evening is that Danny McNamara is indeed a genuinely lovely man. We kind of suspected this having briefly met him many years ago, but it’s nice to have it confirmed and to witness the fact that fame doesn’t have to equate to instant arsehole status. Yes, I’m getting at you Dillon!

I think it’s fair to say, without having done some kind of exit poll, that everyone, Danny included, has had a great night. It’s the first time I’ve done one of these ‘an evening with’ kind of things, but I’m so glad we came. And I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.

Thanks for a brilliant night, Danny.

Middle Aged Gigging: Ellur at The Square Chapel, Halifax.

It’s not often I get out to see a new artists anymore. I’ll sometimes watch someone new supporting one of my favourites, but the days of getting out and watching new bands and unproven talent have long gone, I’m afraid. Tonight is slightly different though. This is actually my third time of seeing Ellur live, but while on the other two occasions she’s performed with a band, tonight it’s just Ellur, a guitar, a couple of plants and around 150 people in the audience. So, no pressure then!

Pressure or not though, when you’re being compared to Joni Mitchell and Sam Fender in the same night, you really must be doing something right. And believe me, Ellur is definitely doing a lot of things right. I hear both of these comparisons from people around the place tonight though and in truth I can’t help but agree. Ellur really is one to watch.

Tonight, as stripped back as this gig is, Ellur truly thrives. Right from the off, she’s got the audience eating out of the palm of her hand, asking us if anyone here is actually from Halifax and then, when she finds out that no one is, she tells us it’s ok, as ‘it would be a bit shit without you’! There’s a presence and charisma that belies her years but then of course, the key ingredient is that she also has the songs to back it all up.

Tonight is just a short set, but it’s still superb and while the comparisons I mentioned are completely valid, for me there’s also something a bit reminiscent of Suzanne Vega about Ellur in this performance. She’s got a fantastic voice and songs like ‘Yellow Light’ and ‘Your Dog’ absolutely soar with the latter being introduced as ‘a song about this guy I was dating who was an arsehole’. I mean, it’s fair to say there’s a few of them about! A bit later, there’s also a brilliant sing along during ‘Thank God You Tried’ where we all get to feel like part of the act!

However, tonight it’s powerful closer ‘God Help Me Now’ that really showcases Ellur’s talent. There’s a wonderful subtlety that’s coupled with moments of sheer power in her voice here that you can’t help but be hooked by and the song itself is just superb. And then, having enthralled us all for far too short a time, she gives a couple of curtseys and is off.

As small as this gig has been, it feels like we’ve all been in on a bit of a moment. Apart from anything else, to put yourself out there with no one else and just a guitar for support is perhaps as brave as it gets for a performer. And yet tonight, Ellur absolutely smashes it.

With an E.P. out soon and then a debut album next year, Ellur could and should really take off and if there’s even a small shred of justice in the world Ellur’s star will be allowed to shine brightly in the coming year. What a privilege to see such a genuine talent up close! If you get a chance in the new year or indeed any time in the future, get out and see her perform, with or without the band. You can thank me later.

Always look on the bright side: Five things that made me smile this Autumn.

It’s been a little while since I wrote one of these; a series that I started writing every month in order to remind myself that there were definitely positives in my life. At a time when I felt like I was struggling, I also wondered if it would help anyone else who might stumble upon this and read about some happy or funny stories. As ever, some are related to me and some are just the kinds of things that I’ve spotted in the news. Because everybody needs a bit of a smile now and again.

My new job. In September I started a new job and I have to say it’s been tough going since day one. I’m lucky enough to work in a very supportive environment and I’m still just about enjoying the challenge. There are plenty of positives too, but one in particular stood out from last month. As with most schools, our behaviour system has negative points as well as positives. Sadly, I find myself having to log a lot more negatives than I’d like and at times it can mean that there’s not enough time to catch up with the positives. However, some groups are very keen to remind you to put them on the system! One boy in my Year 7 group really managed to make me smile last month with his reaction to being given an achievement point. He’s always very keen to get them and always asks on his way out of the class if he’s earned one. And on this occasion when he asked and I responded positively he walked off with a barely audible, yet emphatic ‘Yes’ and a bit of a fist pump! A lovely, golden moment!

The Morley 10k. The town where I live has been holding a 10k race for a few years now and I’ve managed to run every one, despite my health issues. For this year’s I’d trained pretty well, running the route a few times and bringing my time down every time. I’d also ran quite a few 10k+ training runs and was feeling good. However, on the morning of the race I felt terrible. Like I was going to vomit imminently. I considered not running, but managed to pull myself together, resolving that this year’s goal was just to get round. But when I got into my running I felt quite strong and, checking my watch, was going quite fast. Sadly, I slowed a bit in the second half of the course before managing to put together a strong finish and eventually came 342nd out of 849 runners. Not my finest hour, but easily enough to make me smile (once I’d gotten my breath back and stopped groaning)!

The Winner of the Great North Run. Sadly, it wasn’t me. Partly because I didn’t take part but mainly because it would have taken me most of the day. Also, it’s the women’s race that I’m writing about. You see, I have a connection to the winner. Let me tell you about it. Every Saturday morning, me and my son volunteer as marshals at one of our local Park Runs. Every week we wait eagerly for the first runner to arrive, often marvelling at how fast they’re running. A short while back now, we were stood at our usual spot, not expecting the first runners for a couple of minutes yet. And then, as I glanced to my left, down the track, she appeared. A female runner, going extremely quickly. She was a real sight to behold. Graceful, powerful, effortless; she looked like a proper athlete. It turned out that she was! Mary Ngugi-Cooper is a Kenyan athlete who apparently lives locally and she’d just ran our course record time! She even came back the next week and broke her own record again! Fast forward to September and I found myself watching the Great North Run – a very famous half marathon) on telly while I did a bit of Sunday morning ironing. It was held in torrential rain (the race, not the ironing), but something else began to pique my interest. Every time they cut to footage of the women’s’ race, I was sure I recognised one of the leading pack. But I couldn’t quite place her. Anyway, after a thrilling finish the same lady won the race with just 5 seconds separating the first 5 athletes. When her name appeared on the screen, the penny finally dropped. My mate Mary from ParkRun had just won the Great North Run!

The return of Gone Fishing. ‘Gone Fishing’ is a BBC series where two blokes go fishing. Yet, of course it’s much, much more than that. The two blokes are comedians Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse, both heroes of mine. The series came about after Bob had a triple heart bypass and had pretty much given up on life. When no one could tempt him to leave the house, his friend Paul got in touch and suggested a spot of fishing. It worked. Not only that though, after a few trips the two realised that they could make a television series about it, which they went on to do. Amazingly, given that this is a programme where two blokes just go fishing, it’s just been commissioned for an 8th series and I’m currently enjoying the 7th. Gone Fishing is much more than just some fishing though. It’s about health, friendship, nature, humour and much more and is a truly heartening watch. Needless to say, the latest series has me smiling.

Beekeeper discovers lost bees. A lovely story from the BBC website in September. When he became a father something inspired Ross Main to set out to find his grandfather’s lost beehives. Maybe it was the memories of tending them with his grandad and possible hoping to pass on similar lessons to his own children. Anyway, Ross set off to the abandoned quarry where the hives had been and despite the hugely overgrown area, he found one last hive, having worried that they’d all been sold off. Even better news though, was that the bees had survived. After a bit of research Ross was able to transfer the hive to his home town and start to tend to them. Now, some 9 years on he has set up an apiary business, manages around 300,000 bees a week in 90-100 colonies and sells honey to local farm shops as well as teaching locals about the value of bees to the ecosystem. What’s not to like about that story?

I hope at least some of those made you smile!

Middle Aged Gigging – Embrace at the Victoria Theatre, Halifax.

First there was a blanket of snow. Then there was torrential rain, followed by strong winds and in short, Yorkshire got battered by the weather. But it was Embrace that nearly took the roof off the theatre tonight.

As part of their tour for the 20th anniversary of the album ‘Out of Nothing’, tonight the band play the Victoria Theatre in Halifax. As local lads, it’s a bit of a homecoming kind of gig and as such, it was always going to be special and judging by the amount of smiling faces around me, the boys did the trick.

First up tonight are Fever, an indie rock band from Hull. The first thing that strikes me about Fever is that they are yet another in a now long line of support bands who make me feel very, very old! At least two of them look like they might need to spend tomorrow finishing off some GCSE coursework, but if that were true I’d say to sack the exams off, because Fever are excellent. There’s a hint of the Arctic Monkeys about Fever’s sound and while that may sound lazy, it’s certainly not an insult. Singer James has a real presence and a great voice and at times he reminds me ever so slightly of a young Ian Brown. But what makes Fever such a good watch tonight is most definitely the songs with tunes like ‘Why Can’t You hear Me?’ and ‘Gold Intentions’ making them a band that you should definitely seek out.

What we’ve all braved the rain and the snow for though, is Embrace and so as ‘What A Wonderful World’ is brought to an abrupt end and the lights are dimmed, there’s a tangible excitement in the room, which is quite the effort at our age!

We’re thrown straight in at the deep end with the classic ‘All You Good Good People’ and the whole room are on side and singing along. The band sound incredible and when they follow it with ‘Come Back to What You Know’ the atmosphere ramps up another notch.

‘Out of Nothing’ is the record being celebrated tonight though and so we’re given a run of songs from the album with ‘Looking As You Are’ being dedicated to Danny’s 5-year-old daughter Kate. ‘Keeping’ is the stand out track in this section for me though and as we break the run for a brilliant rendition of ‘Nature’s Law’ it feels like everyone is having an amazing night.

A special mention has to go to ‘A Glorious Day’ here though. I never thought I’d be the kind of bloke to turn on his camera light and sway at a gig, yet Danny McNamara asks and here we are! It looks and sounds amazing!

Half way through the set and it’s difficult to see how things could get better, but we’re then treated to and incredible ‘Out of Nothing’ which feels more and more like some kind of religious experience every time I hear it live. Rick – and his broken nail – takes the mic for a blistering ‘Refugees’ before the band are joined by Nicole from Eevah for ‘Never’. What a song and what a voice she has, by the way!

‘Gravity’ then does its usual job on me! As the first song at our wedding – and I’m guessing it’s the same for a few others in the room – it’s special anyway, but as someone who’s had heart trouble these past few years, ‘Can you hear my heart beating?’ is a gut punch like no other, albeit it a kind of friendly one. I cling to Mrs C and sing along, all the while trying not to cry in front of Danny…again!

Over the years, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve began to dread Danny McNamara announcing ‘Ashes’ by asking us if we’ll be jumping up and down. I’m 52 and had a pacemaker fitted two years ago, Danny. My knees are shot and my back aches on a near permanent basis these days. Jumping up and down gives me the fear! However, as the song kicks in and he follows it with the familiar refrain of ‘Up, up, up up!’ I’ve got an arm in the air and I appear to be doing exactly as he says and in turn facing that fear! What a song! It’s an incredible few minutes, albeit something that I’ll no doubt regret as I attempt to roll out of bed in the morning. I check my heart rate as the song ends – a familiar action these days! It’s 98 and not too bad, but still, I’m chuffed to bits when the security bloke offers me some water!

Thankfully, I get a break as Embrace leave the stage to rapturous cheers. And that’s what this feeling is when we see them; rapture. We smile, we forget everything else, we dance, we just about jump up and down and we’re able to lose ourselves for a couple of wonderful hours.

But obviously, it’s not over yet!

After a brilliant ‘Protection’ Danny gets us dancing for ‘We Are It’ and I wonder if me or Mrs C will ever be the ones who get pointed to. If you know, you know, as they say! Having been treated to ‘No Use Crying’ in Manchester last week, it still feels kind of exciting to hear it again live in the encore.

A powerful ‘Near Life’ allows us time to breathe a little before everyone in the place adds their ‘la, la, las’ to an incredible version of ‘The Good Will Out’ and I swear there’s enough power in those smiles to light up the room.

I’ve been watching Embrace play live for almost 30 years now and it’s always a beautiful feeling. I never want that to end. Tonight was another gig to file under ‘incredible’. Thanks lads; let’s do it all again soon!

Three Mags at Wembley!

It was a bit of a funny old weekend. Those international breaks are rarely that entertaining and I think we’d all much prefer to be watching our beloved Newcastle United. But then with three players in the England squad for Sunday evening’s game against the Republic of Ireland, I’m guessing that a lot of us found ourselves watching.

I found out via social media that we had three starters in the team. It took me by surprise, despite the fact that Anthony Gordon and Lewis Hall had both played a part in the victory away in Greece a few days earlier. I thought that Hall deserved the start this time, but England being England, was still quite surprised to see him in the team. I mean, I’d have been less surprised if I was told that they’d just called up the perma-injured Luke Shaw.

And then there was Tino Livramento, a player highly rated at St. James’ Park, but who so far had been largely ignored by England despite making the last couple of squads. I thought I’d read it wrong when suddenly he was in the starting line up for Wembley, even though I really rate the lad and think he could be England’s first choice right back for many years to come. Still, there was no time for grumbling and just about enough time to get the telly on and watch the match.

I thought our lads did extremely well. Gordon was a constant threat out on the left hand side, despite being handled quite well by the Irish and in particular their right winger Ebosele when tracking back. Gordon being Gordon though, he just kept making the runs and would eventually get his reward when scoring his first international goal. A good run across his defender and a cute finish too that gave the keeper no chance of ever getting across to it. And there was double the reason to celebrate as it was from Livramento’s cross via a flick on. A goal made on Tyneside. Well, sort of.

Tino had a good, solid debut. I thought he was a bit more conservative than he is with us, in terms of getting forward, but as the game wore on he just got better and better. He looked like he belonged in the shirt, playing alongside some of the best the country has to offer.

Lewis Hall, for me was a contender for Man of The Match. He was calm, assured and dynamic going forward; the player that we’ve grown used to watching for Newcastle, week in, week out. What a player we’ve got on our hands and what a left back England have too!

All three of our players did their country proud on Sunday evening and in doing so no doubt made all Newcastle fans proud, too. This was the first time in 27 years that we’d had three players in an England starting line up; an indication that our future really is bright.

So, it was a lovely Sunday evening for us Mags. The icing on the cake though came with just a little bit of help from our ‘friends’ down the road. On the weekend that mackems celebrated another famous social media win – their lesser Bellingham started for the U-21s and got asked for some autographs and their manager was spotted by one of their fans enjoying the delights of our city – we had the three starters for England…

Clearly, there are levels to this game.