Family – Middle Age Fanclub

Always Look on the Bright Side; Things that made me smile in August.

August is a month where I fall out of routine. As a teacher, I’m enjoying the summer break; six weeks of work free bliss. And because of that, I rarely remember to keep up with the routines that I establish during term times, including looking for the little smile worthy positive moments in the news. So, this month, my bright sides are a bit more generalised.

Summer and a bit of a heat wave. Now, I feel it’s best to quantify the term ‘heatwave’. I live in England which is never particularly warm in comparison to a lot of other countries. However, this year, for a week or so we had a bona fide heatwave and temperatures that at times became unbearable. Why smile then, you might ask. Simple. Being without work for 6 weeks meant that I was free to sit out in the garden on such hot days and chat to family or read a book or even, if I was feeling a little more ambitious, do a bit of gardening. And it’s wonderful just to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. In the north of England it’s easy to get used to the wind and the rain and so it’s always a reason to smile when the sun gets out in summer.

We’ve got a clean patio! Having had a lovely family holiday in Wales we returned to normal life that included the added bonus of a patio now full of weeds. We’d done some work getting them off before we’d left but when we got back home after a week it was like a mini jungle. Now, after much trowel work, boiling water pouring and sweeping our patio looks lovely and it’s been fantastic being able to sit there in the sun without wishing it wasn’t a mess. Sometimes, it’s the strangest of things that can raise a smile!

My son’s GCSE results. Despite the fact that it feels like mere minutes ago that I was regularly picking my kids up from their primary school’s after school club, they’re in fact both finished in regular education. The youngest, my son, finished Year 11 in July of this year and so picked up his GCSE results near the end of August. He passed everything, which was great, achieving excellent results in Maths, English Language and i Media. It’s obviously really stressful for everyone, especially him while waiting for the results, so knowing that he got through it all so well was more than enough reason for a bit of a smile. It’s nice to know that he’s got that particular hurdle out of the way. Now he’s just got to do it all again with 2 year’s worth of A-Levels!

Newcastle. My home city, the place I was born and raised and unfortunately, somewhere I left when I was in my early twenties. Every August gives me plenty of time to visit home and catch up with family and friends. And this August I was lucky enough to be able to visit twice. Firstly, I took my son up to watch a Newcastle United match. Just a friendly game, but it was the first time I’d been in a while and it felt wonderful to be back in the stadium, being part of a fabulous atmosphere and just being able to watch my team. A week later we visited again for a couple of days in order to see family and friends, catching up with everyone that we wanted to see and having a great time. My dad hasn’t been in the best of health for the last year and so it’s good to check in with him and see that he’s gradually getting stronger again. He’s not quite the same, but it’s comforting and more than enough to bring a smile to my face to see that he’s getting better.

Running. I’ve had a strange year with fitness and have never quite got myself to the levels that I want. It’s been very ‘stop, start’ with illness and injury dominating, meaning I’ll get out for maybe two or three runs in a row and then suffer some kind of setback. However, towards the end of August I felt like I’d made a breakthrough. Having injured my back and worrying that I wouldn’t be able to run for at least a couple of weeks, I recovered within less than a week and was running again. Fingers crossed, everything’s been fine since and although I’m not running with a smile on my face – more a grimace – I’m finding a little bit of consistency. There’s always a positive to be found!

So there we have it; another month, another five things to smile about. Hopefully I’ll have lots to smile about in September, despite having to go back to work!

Always Look on the Bright Side: Five Things that Made me Smile in May.

So, here we are again. Delving into the everyday positives that can be found…even if you tend to wander round with your head in the clouds like me! It doesn’t take much to find something that will be sure to make you smile.

So what did the trick in May?

Toddlers named World Puddle Jumping champions! I mean even without the detail there’s enough to raise a smile even with the headline alone. However, last month I read about Eli and his twin sisters Maia and Neeve from Northampton whose mum had submitted a video of them jumping in puddles to the organisers of the World Puddle Jumping Championships. The championships are run by Wicksteed Park, a tourist attraction in Northamptonshire, who decided that these muddy puddle loving siblings were the winners. There’s no trophy; winners receive a cuddly toy and tickets for a family day out at the park. Let’s hope it’s raining that day!

Star Wars Teabag art! This was such a great story! Artist Caroline West has been busy making miniature paintings of Star Wars scenes on tea bags. As someone who loves a bit of art and is also a Star Wars fan this one was always going to make me smile. Caroline first dries the teabags out, empties them and then irons them flat before painting her masterpieces. And they really are fantastic. Apparently she has created 30 tiny paintings and given them all Star Wars themed names like Brewbacca and R2Tea2.

Another artist! Drawing London using a fine liner. I’ll say it again – I’ve always loved art. I was reasonably good at it as a kid (and can still turn my hand to it a little bit nowadays) but I really admire people who can paint, draw or even take great photographs. This time it’s an artist called Jack Nolan who has drawn the whole of central London using only fine liners. And he’s spent nearly 1000 hours doing it! This raised a smile mainly because of how good it looks, but also for the amount of skill and dedication involved in getting it just right. Have a look for yourselves!

My daughter arriving home. Not as simple as it sounds, this one. She hasn’t just got the bus back from work or something. I’ve mentioned in a previous ‘Five Things’ how proud I was that she’d sought out adventure in her gap year by travelling to South East Asia and exploring Thailand, Vietnam and Singapore. Well, in the middle of May she returned! There were lots of tears (not mine!) and laughter when we picked her up from the airport, but mainly this was just an enormous reason to smile. Not only is she safe and well, but she’s been through a whole raft of enormous experiences that, as she enters a bit more of the adult world, I hope will stand her in good stead for what she’s got to come in life.

I became a superhero…finally! I started a new job at the beginning of this academic year. It’s an all boys school in an entirely new academies trust after I left my old place having become frustrated with the trust that I was working for. I didn’t feel valued, which struck me as a strange way to treat someone with nearly a quarter of a century of English teaching experience. I was assured by friends who worked at my new place that our trust was vastly different and it didn’t take long for me to realise how true this was. Within a couple of months I was more happy than a middle aged man should have been to be named Star of The Week at our school, with the Head teacher waxing lyrical about me in our meeting. He’d sat in on one of my lessons with a particularly difficult group, so it was great to hear so many positives. And it’s continued with plenty of people having good things to say about my teaching over the last few months. A couple of weeks ago though, things got even better when I was named as a ‘Staff Superhero’ on a document that was sent across the whole trust! Again, lots of nice things were said about me and even at my age it’s lovely to get a bit of credit for hard work. Such pats on the back are not why I do the job, but still, it’s nice to feel valued at any time, really. I’m still waiting on my cape and lycra costume though…

So, there you go; proof once again that even though you might have to upturn a few stones and look a little harder than you might like at times, there are always positives to enjoy and things to turn that frown upside down!

Always look on the Bight Side; Five Things that Made me Smile in April.

This month’s ‘Five Things…’ is a little bit different in that I haven’t really had time to make my usual list. Add to this that for two weeks I was on Easter holidays and out of my routine and it means that this wasn’t something that I gave much thought to. So this month is a little bit off the cuff. But I hope it still serves to show you that we can usually find something to smile about, however simple.

The first thing – and the most obvious – that had me smiling was the Easter break. As a teacher I get a two week end of term break at Easter and this year, because of the timing of the holiday, I also got an extra day for Easter Monday. Now, I know lots of people complain that teachers get too much time off, but I have a number of responses to that. Firstly, I’m presuming that as a child, you went to school. Therefore, you know the drill. When a term or a half term ends, there’s a break. It’s not new. Secondly on this, if it troubles you that much, do the training, invest the time and become a teacher. Thinks of the holidays! But, I digress. Two weeks off gives a person time to rest, relax, reset and reflect. And while sometimes my life feels far too busy and chaotic, rest, relaxation, the chance to reset and reflect are more than enough to make me smile.

My fence. The first week of the Easter break was almost entirely spent in sunshine. And so, being in my middle age that was the cue to do lots of things in the garden! One of these things was to start painting my fence, which hadn’t been painted since we had even better weather during lockdown. Suffice to say that by the end of the break the view into my garden was way better than it’s been for years! Boring, I know, but sometimes – especially at my age – it’s the simple things that raise a smile!

The Bluetones. The Bluetones are one of my favourite bands and have been for around 30 years. If you don’t know, they’re an indie pop band who were big in the Britpop scene of the 1990s and they make wonderful, thoughtful indie pop music. Anyway, I went to one of their gigs last month, in York. They were brilliant, as always, which was reason enough for a bit of a smile. If you’ve never heard them, then I implore you to check them out. However, it was a consequence of writing a review that made me smile even more. Having posted my review on a Bluetones fans group on social media it started to do really well in terms of views. Always a reason to smile. People were leaving positive comments. More smiling. And then, one comment really caught my eye. It was from the father of the singer in the support band, Balter, who said that he was thrilled to see that I’d mentioned them and that his son, the singer was chuffed too. So pleased were they that they actually asked if they could use my comments in their promotional material going forward. I can’t lie; I was delighted! They’re @balterband on Instagram by the way, and well worth checking out.

It’s Spring. The weather’s getting better, the days longer and lighter, the birds are singing and everywhere you look, something is in bloom. Just last night I was able to come home from work and within about half an hour was sat in my garden reading my book and enjoying the sun. So despite the stress of life, Spring and all that it stands for can really make a difference.

Ballpoint pen artist. This relates to an article I read about Cy Baker, a wildlife artist who has partnered with the Wildlife Trust to produce 16 drawings on canvas of various British wildlife, using only black ink. It caught my attention – and made me smile – for a number of reasons. Firstly, I studied Art at school and had a little bit of a talent for it. I still enjoy dabbling every once in a while, although I’m really not that good. I’m keen though! Art kind of runs in the family too, with several cousins and at least a couple of uncles displaying genuine talent for drawing, painting and photography. Closer to home, my daughter is a really talented artist, although like me, is a bit lapsed. I hold out some hope that it’ll be something that she goes back to though. I really admire people who can draw and paint though as I realise what a skill it is having struggled manfully with it for years! So to see Cy’s talent is really quite the thrill. The idea that a person can produce something as amazing as the image below using just a biro is quite incredible to me and a real inspiration.

And with that, and the face of an incredible biro drawn badger, I’ll say, hope you had a great April and have a great May too. Keep smiling!

Film Review: ‘Marcel The Shell with Shoes On’.

If someone was to recommend a film to you where the premise was that a man discovers a talking shell and makes a documentary about it, you would be forgiven for deciding that this wasn’t the film for you. Furthermore, no one would question you doubting that someone’s sanity. And yet, here we are…

The idea behind ‘Marcel the Shell with Shoes On’ is ludicrous to say the least. To be fair though, nobody’s telling us this is real life and there have always been ludicrous ideas in some of our most loved films. ET, Star Wars, The Hobbit…it’s a list that could go on and on. And it gets even sillier though when you realise that Marcel the shell lives in an Airbnb with his grandma…also a shell. That said, I can only write about the film in glowing terms and say that you have to see ‘Marcel…’!

Having moved into an Airbnb, documentary maker Dean stumbles across Marcel the shell, who of course already lives there. Being only an inch tall, however, he’s thus far survived without being discovered. Somehow, a friendship of sorts is formed and Marcel is quick to introduce the aforementioned grandma as well as Alan, his pet ball of lint.

The film documents Marcel’s life and the friendship between him and Dean. We learn that Marcel used to have a whole family living here, but following a break up of the people who were renting the house, the family had disappeared. Marcel’s only clue as to their whereabouts is a picture of the man’s car and suitcase. Marcel is sure that his family were bundled up into the suitcase.

It’s a ludicrous idea at first, but you can’t help but warm to Marcel, almost immediately. He looks cute, he sounds cute and as the film goes on we find out that he’s both funny and caring as well as being vulnerable, which I guess you might expect of a shell.

When Dean then uploads a video of Marcel to the internet in order to help him find his family, the results are exactly what you’d expect. Marcel goes viral and the world becomes obsessed with finding this talking shell…and his grandma. Luckily, Dean is very protective and careful about who he lets into this world and soon the hunt for Marcel’s family is quietly on.

‘Marcel the shell…’ is just a lovely film. The relationship between Marcel and Dean is a real feelgood thing and the film is done in such a way that it all seems perfectly natural and dare I say it, believable. At first, I found myself kind of scoffing at the whole thing, but before too long I was completely under its spell. I won’t spoil things with any more detail, but suffice to say there’s a lot to take in.

Laughs, sadness, happiness, internet fame; what more could you want from a film about a shell who lost his family? If you’re after a film that will invariably make you smile and take you away from the troubles and seriousness of modern life, then ‘Marcel the shell with shoes on’ could well be for you.

I give ‘Marcel the shell with shoes on’…

So it’s 2025…

I thought I’d write a quick update, given that it’s the very start of a new year and given that it was the middle of December when I wrote my last piece. No proper resolutions as such, but some hopes for the next 359 days added to a few thoughts about last year.

The new year started in what I’d call typical fashion…for me. I was poorly for starters, still shaking off the last of a flu bug that I’d picked up in the middle of last month, which meant that I wasn’t really at my best. However, I needed to up my game a bit come New Year’s Eve. It was my daughter’s first ever New Year where she went out rather than stayed in with the family, so as well as worrying about her, I was worried that New Year’s Eve would be a bit of a let down for the rest of the family.

I’m informed by my wife that I’m usually ill on New Year’s Eve and as a result am no fun whatsoever. Apparently, it’s my daughter that brings the fun. It’s also not a time of year that I enjoy though. I never have. So this year, I had to find my fun side. The problem being that it’s usually kept very well hidden!

We don’t get roaring drunk on New Year and we tired of going out on this particular date many years ago. Time was we would go to Edinburgh most years and have an absolute ball. Then we had a spell of spending it with close friends and we had some brilliant nights. Having children changed all that though. So for the last however many years it’s been a case of a big party tea, games, some music, some drinks and then watching the new year come in on the telly.

This year was no different, but I had to really concentrate on being super enthusiastic! Suffice to say, New Year’s Eve was a bit of a challenge. I won’t bore you with the details, but I think I just about succeeded! I even joined in with some games on our long lost Wii as well as playing charades for the second time of the festive period!

I’ve vowed that I’m going to get a lot fitter this year. According to Strava I ran 306 miles last year. I don’t know whether that’s a lot – I don’t think it is really – but I mean to increase it significantly this year. Towards the end of the year I was feeling good when out on runs and my times were within seconds of those from 2021 and 2022 when I set a lot of my personal bests. Obviously, since those years I’ve been very ill and had a pacemaker fitted, so my fitness dropped a lot! But last year I was getting closer and closer to those previous levels until that aforementioned flu bug.

I’ve already entered 3 races and will be entering more as the year progresses. I’m also hoping to do more yoga and add some strength training to my plans. I’m sure I’ll be able to keep you updated on how it’s all going.

Alongside my fitness plans I’m also going to try really hard to improve my diet, primarily by eating more fruit and vegetables. I’ve already started eating blueberries, but I’m aware that it’s no good starting if you don’t keep it up! I eat far too much chocolate and have a real weakness for crisps, so I’ll be cutting down there. I’ve also got a real taste for pasta since I’ve started cooking more and I’m aware that too much of those lovely sauces aren’t that good for me. So, I’ll need to start looking for some more healthy recipes, I think.

So, I’m going for the health and fitness cliches in 2025 then! I’ll keep you updated about them both! I’m also determined to get out and meet more people this year too. Or maybe just get out more with friends as a start off as I’m actually very shy. And the other thing that I’ll devote more time to will be looking into my pension and retirement plans. It doesn’t seem 5 minutes since I left university, but here we are; early fifties and thinking about retirement!

I went for my first run of the year on 3rd January. It had been exactly a month since my last one due to illness and I still wasn’t feeling 100%. I was adamant that I wasn’t too bothered by time or distance and yet I still managed to set off far too quickly! That in turn meant that my next mile was pretty poor and my legs were like jelly on some of the hills. However, I was delighted to drag myself round just over 5k in the end, even though I was pretty slow!

That wasn’t the end of things though! I’ve always seemed to have a problem with dogs and sometimes dog walkers when out running. I think dogs have knocked me over on at least 5 occasions and I’ve also had ‘words’ with a few owners who just seem oblivious to their dogs. It had been a while though and I thought my dog trouble might be a thing of the past. That was until when running through a group of dog walkers and their dogs I was almost blindsided by a lurcher! I heard a shout, looked over just in time and managed to pirouette myself out of the way of this sprinting hound. It caught me on the knee as it went past, but taking evasive action saved me. If it had hit me full on it would definitely have knocked me off my feet! Instead I survived to fight and run another day!

My final new year news is that we got a snow day today. I was sure that my school would be open after the snow fell on Saturday might and little more was added on Sunday. I got up for work this morning, was fully dressed apart from my tie and shoes and halfway through my breakfast when I was alerted to the fact that we were closed. Now I know that us teachers get more holidays than most – not enough mind you – and I know that I’ve just had two weeks off too, but I still cannot describe the sheer joy of getting a snow day! And although some of it has been spent out in the cold, walking my daughter to work and shovelling snow away, it’s still been absolutely fantastic!

Until the next time – Happy New Year!

Poetry Blog: Pier

This is a poem that, as we near the end of another British summer, just seems appropriate. It’s hopefully one that lots of people can relate to, especially us Brits.

I wrote this after we had headed to Llandudno for a short break in summer last year. We spent time walking along the promenade as well as up into the hills that can be found just a short distance from the sea. We’d spent time relaxing, eating cake and drinking coffee in lovely cafes and of course, we’d spent time in the amusements! This is where the poem came from because the amusements in Llandudno can be found on the pier.

Pier

Your eyes dart everywhere,
as you walk, you're bombarded from above 
by a terror that could leave a lasting scar
or worse still, a stain, a smell, 
a memory that could ruin coastal towns forevermore
and yet still, you can't quite concentrate on the airborne menace.

Rough boards trodden on for hundreds of years
promise pleasure while hinting at danger
with every glimpse of the waves far beneath.
Children wander aimlessly, 
all grabbing hands and voices that match the decibels of those gulls.  

Groups of adults attempt to keep them in check,
while flocks of teens loiter with barely disguised intent.
Ice creams and candy floss are wolfed down
for fear of attack from above and the hordes
of ever more bold screeching thieves.

Duck inside an arcade and the senses
are overwhelmed by the kaleidoscope colour
of copycat prizes combined with the sounds of machines
competing busily for attention,
while people push past, eager for a moment of mindless fun.

Copper coins, salvaged from a long cherished jar,
are thrust with military precision into a slot
in the hope of the displacement 
that will win tokens to be exchanged for tat,
yet still, it is an Olympic podium style thrill 
that's felt as those coins finally crash.

Hours later, as you blink again into the sun  
and set foot on more solid ground,
pockets are lighter, nerves shredded,
arms ache and knees creak as you trudge, 
wearily away, excitement over, another seaside day almost at an end.

On a previous trip to the one described above I’d actually been divebombed and flown into by a seagull. It sort of clonked me on the head! They’re a menace at most seaside towns these days. However, I’ve never had my food stolen by one or indeed suffered the indignity of being hit by their flying poo!

I’m not really a fan of the amusement arcades, despite being so when I was younger. However, my family love them and so every trip to a coastal town means spending hours in multiple arcades, never really feeling the tension and excitement that they do at the jeopardy of the machines.

Regardless, I was struck by just how much was actually going on when we made this trip and found myself making notes in some downtime, which later would become this poem. I hope you enjoyed it!

It was a bittersweet July.

It’s been a little while since I’ve actually written anything. In fact, this is the first time I’ve got my hands on a keyboard in the month of August. Suffice to say that July was a bit of an emotional one and as a result, it took its toll on me.

The most bittersweet part of it all was leaving work. I’d worked at Thornhill Community Academy in Dewsbury for 9 years, having trained there – it was my second teaching practice school – 25 years ago. All in all that’s a long time to be associated with a place of work and a community. I always felt like I’d go back there and when I did, I didn’t think I’d leave before retirement.

Nothing lasts forever though and having suffered with my health over the last couple of years I was finding less and less enjoyment in my work. Having all but collapsed there in 2022, my classroom made me feel uncomfortable and at times really quite sad. Add that to a raft of other problems and I knew I’d have to leave. So, when an opportunity to work with some of my friends came up, I eventually applied and was lucky enough to get the job.

Leaving a job I’d been in for almost a decade was a real wrench though. I’ve made lots of friends, had the professional pleasure of working with some brilliant people, loved the school and hopefully had a positive effect on some of my students. I was almost moved to tears during my leaving speech, but just about managed to keep it together – if you were in the room, I can confirm that there were no tears, just a really ugly crying face!

I’ll miss so many people and September is going to feel very strange indeed, but I hope that my new start will serve to inspire me a bit and whet my appetite for teaching once again, as well as helping me to get over what really has to be the final hurdle in my recovery from illness! I mean, how long can it take?!

Despite the upheaval, I actually feel positive. I’m probably far too old to be making a fresh start, but I feel like I have the energy and the people around me to make it a success. More to the point, I feel like I want to make it a success. I feel enthusiastic, while also feeling like there’s no way I want to let people down. So in September, I’ll be enjoying a far shorter commute and throwing myself into it all at an entirely new school while working with more than enough familiar faces to allow me to feel fairly comfortable from the off.

Of course, the end of an academic year signals the start of summer for those of us in education. And so, as sad as I felt to leave my job I had the benefit of 6 weeks holiday to cushion the blow and mix some sweetness into the bitterness.

First up in the break was heading to Wales for a family holiday and that never fails to raise a smile and make me feel relaxed. The weather wasn’t perfect, but we still managed a few days on the beach, as well as trips out to Barmouth and Pwllheli. All in all, to finish work on the Friday and then be on a beach the next day made for a lovely couple of days. Then, to add in lots of fun in the week that followed added up to a genuinely brilliant break.

A personal highlight for me was being able to fit in two runs. I run on every holiday and have done for a while now when we go to Wales. However, usually I head up some nearby hills before running down to a nearby coastal village and then looping back around again towards our cottage. This time, feeling tired, I decided to take a flatter route which would enable me to do something I’ve never done before; run along the beach.

The beach at the end of the road is a couple of miles long and then, if you’re lucky and the tide’s out sufficiently, you can clamber over some rocks onto a beautiful, peaceful little cove. I was able to do just that on both of the occasions that I ran. Both times I went out early in the morning and both times there was barely another soul to be seen. It was amazingly peaceful, while also being really hard work as sand just saps the strength from your legs.

On the morning of our last full day, not only did I run along the beach, but when I got round to the quiet cove there were two herons feeding in the shallows and I was able to sit and watch them for ages while having the whole place to myself. More than enough to make you smile!

So, having left behind a place of work that gave me a fantastic 9 years and felt all the sadness that you’d expect, I was able to spend a wonderful week with my family and experience the kind of calm coupled with genuine elation that I’m guessing doesn’t come along too often. Like I said, it was a bittersweet July!

Book Review: ‘Freak the Mighty’ by Rodman Philbrick

Max and Kevin shouldn’t get along. They’ve got nothing in common apart from being outsiders and neither seems to have the personality or simply the willingness to make a friend. In fact, they both seem to have a certain distaste for other people. They’re fine on their own, thank you very much. However, they’ve both got a level of curiosity too and it’s not long before they give in to it. And thank goodness they do.

Max is a loner by choice. Raised by his grandparents, he’s got a reputation with the other kids around school as being mean and prone to violent outbursts, earning him the cruel nickname Mad Max among others. But he’d known Kevin previously at nursery and been fascinated by his crooked legs and braces. So when years later Kevin moves back to town, an uneasy and unlikely friendship is quickly formed and Freak the Mighty is born.

Max (aka The Mighty) lives in his grandparent’s basement and rarely ventures out. He definitely doesn’t have friends around. But it isn’t long before Kevin (aka Freak) – back in the neighbourhood with his mum Gwen – is spending time there. And from this point on a beautiful friendship grows. Max protects Kevin and doesn’t judge him for the way he looks, while Kevin serves to educate Max and doesn’t judge him for the way he talks. It’s not long before adventure is calling.

‘Freak the Mighty’ is an amazing story. It’s actually aimed at Key Stage 3 kids, so ages 11-13, but I have no shame in saying that I loved every page. It was a book that was recommended on social media; the second one that I’ve picked up because a comedian said so! And what a recommendation it turned out to be! The book was also made into a 1998 film – The Mighty – starring Sharon Stone, Gillian Anderson, Harry Dean Stanton, James Gandolfini and Kieran Culkin and that too is well worth your time. But please read the book first! At under 200 pages it won’t take you long and it will make you smile!

At first, the friendship is mostly about childlike adventures. Kevin is carried round by Max on his shoulders, barking orders and encouragement in his ear as they investigate their neighbourhood. For a while, this is a good news story and the friendship feels indestructible. But then, a dark shadow from Max’s past re-enters his life and his world changes overnight.

It begins to seem very likely that Max will be lost to his grandparents. His life will be changed and for once, he won’t be able to force his way out of things. Mad Max seems sure to return. And this is where the beauty in Philbrick’s writing is. As a reader you’ll hate the transformation in Max, having witnessed first hand what friendship can do for even this most lost of lost boys. And now he’s about to become lost once more. However, there’s always a glimmer of light at the end of this particular tunnel. And it comes in the form of a ‘Freak’ named Kevin. Kevin uses every last measure of strength, cunning and intellect to come to the rescue, hatching a brilliant plan to come to the aid of his friend. So, just when it looked like they might be wrenched apart forever, Freak the Mighty are reunited. But can it last?

I would absolutely recommend you read Freak the Mighty. There are drug references and some violence, so be careful in who you share it with in terms of children. For the most part though it’s downright funny, while also being life affirming and then all of a sudden, desperately sad. At a basic level though, it’s just a great story with a lot to offer in terms of lessons in friendship and humanity.

Literature is full of unlikely friendships – George and Lennie in Of Mice and Men, Huck and Tom from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Bruno and Shmuel in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and they always make for good reading. Well Max and Kevin might well be one you’re yet to discover. I can only point you in the right direction; read Freak the Mighty!

I give Freak the Mighty…

Poetry Blog: ‘A Day at the Lake’

This is a poem about one of our first family holidays, when there was just the three of us. It’s one of those memories that I think will always stick with me and one that I can summon really easily.

The poem is about a tiny bit of a break we had in the Lake District when my daughter was just a toddler. It covers those protective feelings that you have as a parent. A swan nipped my daughter’s finger when she was giving bread to the ducks and it threatened to spoil the day. Later, when she’d calmed down, we moved round the lake a bit, took our shoes and socks off and had a bit of a paddle, or a plodge as we call it where I’m from.

Anyway, have a read.

A Day at the Lake

Earlier that day a rogue swan had nipped at your finger
after you'd steeled yourself and trusted mum enough
to offer it some bread.
You sobbed into her warm, protective arms,
soothed just a little by her calming words,
while nearby I seethed with rage,
fists clenched, tensed, 
until common sense reminded me that
you can't punch swans.
They belong to the queen, you know.

Later, plodging in the lake on a different shore
and at a suitable distance from your attacker and his cronies,
your little hands gripped mine and told me
that you didn't much like the numbing cold of the water
on your legs and didn't want to feel the spite of pebbles
digging into your bare feet.
But you clung on, held your own, as you always would.

Later still, as we made our way back,
you ran off across a thigh high meadow
that laughed along with you,
your awkward limbs flailing for speed and distance,
enjoying this rare but heady mix of freedom and terror
and a loosening of the reigns for once,
because, swan now a distant memory, surely lightning could not strike twice
in such a beautiful spot as this.

With the determination that you've clung to for life,
you ran and ran, giggling loudly at your sudden independence,
ignoring the cries of 'not too far'
until it was decided that there was too much rope
and I caught you, scooped you up,
pretending to drop you for another thrill,
then hauled you up, onto my shoulders
as some kind of halfway house between wrapping you in cotton wool
and letting you know that sometimes, it's good to test the limits.

I joke about it in the poem, but I was beyond angry at that swan! And I really had to stop myself from behaving terribly. I guess it was another one of those days when you discover the lengths that you’re prepared to go to as a protective father!

Whenever I think about that day, I can clearly picture my daughter running away from us across the meadow as we headed back to the car. White shorts dungarees, a pink t-shirt and a rainbow belt around her dungarees with her hair in pigtails. She’s always been a little headstrong and I think we saw early signs of it that day, although it remains a really happy memory and it was particularly funny at the time. Like any newish parents though, we were over-protective and so, while we laughed we probably both wanted to just take off across the field and catch her, just to make sure that no more harm came to her! And eventually, we did!

I hope you enjoyed the poem.

The Apprentice: Here comes the final!

So, after what feels like a lifetime chock full of business tasks fuelled by a combination of bizarre decisions and downright ineptitude, we’re mere hours away from another Apprentice finale. And even though I don’t feel that I’ve been as invested in the candidates as I might have been in previous years, I cannot wait!

This year’s finalists are gym owner Rachel Woolford and pie company boss Phil Turner. And it’s anyone’s guess who’ll win out. Unless you’re Lord Sugar of course, who I reckon won’t just guess who he gives £250,000 to.

Even in the interviews it felt like a bit of a lottery in terms of who would make the final. However, once it emerged that Tre didn’t have a business plan or really, a product and that Paul had chosen the wrong plan and that you or I knew just about as much as he did about scrubs, then the field was kind of narrowed down. In fact, given what happened in this year’s interview episode, I’m considering just turning up myself next year with some ideas scrawled down on a crumpled piece of paper titled, ‘Why I need Lord Sugar’s £250,000′ by Graham aged 53. I reckon I’d still have a bit of a chance of making the final.

Of the two finalists, it’s perhaps inevitable that we might look on Rachel as the favourite. Not only has she shown a fair amount of business acumen, hard work and determination throughout the series, but she’s up against Phil! Phil! The very same Phil who lost all of the first 9 tasks and seemed to be in the boardroom fighting for his life every other week. But then again, he’s in the final for a reason. We have to presume that Lord Sugar and his people have spotted something in him, surely. None of us has much idea what it might be though!

Last week, Phil added to his Apprentice legacy by revealing in the interviews that he hasn’t seen a set of accounts for his business for about a decade. OK, I’m exaggerating there, but the bloke literally sat and told scary Mike Soutar that he hadn’t seen his accounts for a couple of years. I’m no business viking (as no doubt someone must have referred to themselves over the years), but that feels like me not looking at the fuel gauge in my car for a fortnight and just hoping that I’ll keep getting to where I’m going.

Both candidates seem to have successful businesses and both just want to make them bigger. Fair enough. Rachel wants more gyms – and while we continue to obsess over how we look on social media then we’ll always need more gyms! I mean, where else would the country’s vain halfwits find mirrors big enough to pose in?

Phil, on the other hand, wants to expand his pie business after admitting that he didn’t have the vision to take it any further. And after he made a truffle flavoured vegan cheese that didn’t really taste of truffle…or cheese for that matter, in the last task, you can possibly see why he thinks he lacks vision I suppose.

Conspiracy theorists will have you believe that Phil is being set up to win. I mean, I certainly can’t remember a series where someone failed so spectacularly every week and then still made the final. Some have also pointed to the fact that in his win or bust task – the vegan cheese one – he was given the strongest of the other candidates on his team. But then, some of these people probably still think that the Earth is flat.

So, get yourselves set for an exciting final. There’s no clear favourite, but definitely an underdog. But, with the help of some, if not all of the other candidates from the series, there will be one last task to get through before Lord Sugar decides who he’s going to invest in. And of course, there’s my favourite bit of all; where the two successful candidates have to walk into the room for their pitch, usually down one of the longest walkways or staircases in the modern world. It has to be one of the most awkward TV moments of the year and every year a little bit of is secretly hoping for a trip!

The Apprentice 2024 Final. Can’t wait!