Middle Age Fanclub

It’s only bloody International Friendship Day!

Sunday 30th July is International Friendship Day, so I thought I’d write something about friendship.

So, what exactly is International Friendship Day? Well, it was first brought about by the UN in 2011 with the idea that friendship is the kind of thing that can inspire peace and build bridges between communities. And there was me who just thought friendship was about talking obsessively about football and music, while also cracking as many stupid jokes as I could manage in any given time. But friendship, to me, might just mean recommending a film or a book to someone or sending them a video that I think they might like. Because if that person wasn’t a friend, I wouldn’t read a book, hear a band or see a video and think of them.

So, while the UN thought the day should be about community activities and promoting international understanding and respect for diversity, my goals will always be quite a way more lo-brow than that. It’s a nice idea though, I’m sure you’ll agree (the UN’s, not mine…).

When I found out about International Friendship Day it got me thinking about the whole idea of friendship and what kind of friend I am.

First and foremost, I think I’m mainly a long distance friend as through a combination of circumstance and bad luck a lot of the friends I made in my younger years live nowhere near me anymore! Perhaps I should take the hint! However, not only did I move away from my home town in my twenties but a number of the friends I then subsequently made have since moved away from where we live. And they haven’t moved away to another part of town; some have moved continents away, making it very difficult for me to be what I’d call a ‘proper’ friend.

As well as the distance impairing my attempts at friendship, there’s the fact that I’m absolutely terrible at keeping in touch. I think I have an aversion to phone calls brought about by working in a call centre in my younger years, but I’m even pretty poor at texting or sending emails. These are the type of things that I tell myself I’ll do ‘later’ and then never get around to. Time after time after time.

I do think I have my good points as a friend. I’d like to think that I’m reasonably good at putting a smile on people’s faces and I’m definitely there if ever a friend is in need. I’m actually a good listener, even though I’m sure I give off the kind of signals that say ‘Do not talk to me!’. I try to remember things like birthdays, so that even at a distance I can let friends know that I’m thinking about them. And I am thinking of them. I’m just terrible at keeping in touch, which in turn probably makes everyone think that it’s always them that’s doing the chasing.

Friendship to me means shared interests and the knowledge that myself or my friends don’t need to try very hard. I’m not about to end a friendship because someone hasn’t been in touch in a while and thankfully neither are my friends, otherwise I’d literally have none left! Of the good friends I retain, I know that I can go ages without speaking to them – and most likely will, given the type of friend I can be – but the minute we meet up everything will be ace again within minutes.

Friendship means putting smiles on faces and I’d like to think I’m pretty good at that. If anyone’s a fan of a daft laugh, then it’s me. At work, I like to send silly emails to my friends because I know it’ll make some, if not all of them laugh and I think that’s the role I play a lot of the time. With friends outside of work, it might be a text or a WhatsApp message that I know will make them smile, because it’s the kind of thing we’ve been joking about for years. Class clown? You betcha! Sometimes there’s no better feeling than putting smiles on faces.

Friendship has been important to me over the past 9 months or so, while I’ve been ill. Lots of mates have checked in on me on a regular basis, which has been really comforting and people have been quick to let me know that I wasn’t alone in all that I was going through. Lots of friends have helped me cope with the frustration of recovery and kept reminding me about exactly what I’ve been through and exactly how well I was doing, despite my own pessimism. And I suppose today is as good a time as any to remind them of how thankful I am for them being there. So, cheers lads and lasses!

So, while I won’t be spending the day in some kind of organised event, like the UN would want, I will be vowing to make more effort with my mates. I’ll be sure to drop a few messages to some people saying hello, reminding them that I’m still alive and checking in on how they’re doing too. And with 5 weeks still to go before I go back to work and a new academic year, perhaps there’s time for a few meet ups too!

So, enjoy International Friendship Day and maybe check in on your own friends. Ask how they’re doing, what they’re up to or maybe even organise a meet up, if you haven’t seen them in a while. Tell them I sent you!

Farewell Maxi; it was a hell of a ride!

So, after much speculation, Allan Saint-Maximin has left the building. In truth, it’s been on the cards since the moment he walked in given our previous owner’s fondness for selling players on at a profit, but it’s something that will take a lot of our fanbase a lot of getting used to.

A funny one, Maxi. Surely there isn’t one of us who hasn’t gasped or cried out at a piece of sublime skill that he’s just performed. Maxi did that; he made impossible things seem possible at times and he had the gift of getting football fans out of their seats. That said, he’s undoubtedly been equal parts frustrating over the years too. So for all the gasps at his brilliance, there have been plenty of groans of frustration. But you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth as Newcastle fan, haven’t you.

Saint-Maximin arrived at the club as an £16.5m signing from Nice. He came with a reputation as a bit of a maverick and there were rumours that he could be quite a difficult character. One thing was for sure; with the hair and the Gucci headband he definitely stood out. I remember at the time doing something I don’t often do and searching out his clips on YouTube, then watching him run almost the length of the field before scoring for Nice. And while I’m not one to buy into hype too much, I did think that we might well have a bit of a player on our hands!

Those rumours of being a difficult character never really surfaced at Newcastle and within a couple of months it became clear that Allan was a calm, rational and eloquent young man as well as an outrageously gifted footballer. As a fan I took to him straight away, but there was always a frustration with him too. For every incredible bit of skill or screamer of a goal, there was also the frequent sight of Maxi sat on his backside, arms aloft, complaining about something or other while simultaneously not helping out the team.

Although he was signed by Steve Bruce, he was never a Bruce signing, if you see what I mean. Clearly, this was a deal long in the making and had been decided on long before Bruce darkened our doors. And from the word go, it felt like Bruce didn’t have a clue what to do with Maxi.

For the most part of his four seasons with the club, Maxi was the only light in the tunnel that felt like it might never end. While Bruce rejected anything resembling tactics in favour of us lumping the ball in the general direction of either Maxi or Callum Wilson so that they could bail us out of trouble, Maxi was often, in many ways, the only reason to watch us play.

Looking back many fans will point to moments such as Maxi terrorising Kyle Walker and co at the start of last season in the 3-3 draw with eventual treble winners Manchester City, in my opinion there were lots of more impressive highlights. His goal against Burnley at the end of the 21-22 season immediately springs to mind as he received the ball in the centre circle and then just dribbled and dribbled towards goal. Just when you thought he’d probably lost the chance there was one last cut back before a shot was arrowed into the back of the net. His volley at Wolves last season to rescue a point was also something else and his goal in a captivating game against Leeds in 2021, when he dribbled across the box before firing the ball into the opposite corner will live long in my memory. But there were always ridiculous bits of skill and while they weren’t always game changing, they were enough to get you out of your seat in an era where many who’d attended St. James’ Park were simply vacating theirs.

At times, Maxi was a one man team. If he couldn’t do it, invariably nobody else could. And that’s not to deride other talent in the team, but when Saint-Maximin was in the mood he was often unplayable.

Ultimately, I think it’s a shame that he’s leaving, although I understand the reasoning. He’s not a guaranteed starter these days and thus becomes a saleable asset. I think injuries have cost him dear and in the cold light of day, because he’s not always fit, we can’t depend on him. Eddie Howe will look at players like Elliot Anderson, Anthony Gordon and, if the inevitable happens, Harvey Barnes and be able to see that we’ve got more than adequate cover. Barnes’ record of goals and assists is well documented and surely even the most hardened of Saint-Maximin fans will be able to accept a similar record at Newcastle.

When so many of us were falling out of love with the game and maybe even the club, Maxi continued to call us back and force our hand into giving it another chance. The football romantic in me is gutted at the thought of not seeing him in our colours anymore. But modern football moves fast and Maxi is simply a victim of that movement.

For many kids starting their NUFC journeys Maxi will be the hero that they’ll possibly never forget. The first name they had on the back of a shirt and a modern day Ben Arfa, Cole, Shearer, Beardsley, or Supermac, if you’re a little bit older, although not quite in the same class as those mentioned. And it’ll take a little bit of getting used to not seeing that distinctive dribbling style, the jewellery, the headband and let’s not forget the bandages in black and white. For what it’s worth, I think he’s a player that was made for the Champions League, but I don’t think we’ll suffer by not having him there. I’d place far more importance on players like Isak, Trippier, Bruno and Tonali in terms of how we do in Europe.

Maxi’s legacy is that he was a player who made memories and allowed us some hope. A player that in some small way might just have saved the club when it was at its lowest ebb. I for one think there’s a great deal to thank Allan Saint- Maximin for.

To quote Shakespeare; “parting is such sweet sorrow”. In other words, it’s sad to see Maxi leave, but we’ll have other heroes to rely on. So, don’t get upset and start ranting on social media about tactics and other players that you think should have been sold. Just enjoy the fact that Allan Saint-Maximin gave every Newcastle supporters some fantastic memories and moments of joy to hang on to. As well as a popular board game and the odd expensive watch! Thanks for lighting up the darkness, Maxi.

Six Affordable Ideas for Days Out with the Kids.

So, the summer holidays are almost upon us and parents everywhere are facing up to a big shift in their routine. Soon, you’ll no longer be packing the kids off to school before finally finding some time to breath in a morning that’s probably already felt like it was an entire day. Soon, those kids are all yours again for a hectic 6 week period!

So, what can you do to fill those long hours? Well, I might just have some useful and hopefully affordable solutions.

My children are both a bit older now and so we don’t get to go to some of the types of places that I’ll list, but the first one is still popular, despite my eldest now being 17.

Farm parks are always a winner with kids. Obviously there are always plenty of animals to look at and at some of the parks you can even let your little (or big) ones pet the animals. Such is their popularity that lots of farm parks have expanded over the last decade or so and include a wide range of experiences for your kids to enjoy, like tractor rides, sheep racing, adventure play grounds and even mini golf.

Farm Parks are very much a growing industry and as such can be found all over the country. We have Cannon Hall Farm down in Barnsley, which is only about a half hour drive away and it’s absolutely fantastic for kids, making it very popular indeed. My daughter still insists we go every summer, even though she’s just turned 17 and my almost 14-year-old son always enjoys himself too.

A quick Google search showed me that there are enticing farm parks in almost every region and Trip Advisor lists some of the best as being in the Cotswolds, Essex, West Yorkshire, Stratford, Devon and Shropshire. There are plenty to choose from in both Wales and Scotland too.

https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attractions-g186217-Activities-c47-t122-England.html

Prices vary and a good tip is to visit on a weekday when many parks reduce their rates. Our local one at Cannon Hall only charges £6.95 for adults and children over 2 on weekdays, meaning a family day out for under £30, which is brilliant!

Den Building. This is something I’ve written about before and it’s always a winner with kids. It’s free too! Just get yourself along to your local woods, pick a spot to build a den and then get the kids scavenging for materials to build with. Make sure that you’re not breaking branches off trees though! Lots of places regularly trim their tress though, meaning that if you keep your eyes out there’ll be a ready supply of logs and branches to build with. Combine your den building with a walk through the forest and maybe even a picnic and you’ve got at least a fun few hours out for everyone. And if you’re not sure where to start there are some den building tips on the link below.

https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/blog/2019/10/how-to-build-a-den/

Picnics! The idea of eating outdoors – or just anywhere that’s not a table – is always exciting for children. So, knock up whatever your kids love to eat – usually some sandwiches, sausage rolls, fruit, juice and a few sweet treats for ours – and head to the park. You could fill a bit of time on the swings or even liven up your day with some games. I bought a plastic and foam baseball set (bat and ball) in Asda years ago and it’s provided hours of fun for us as a family playing a hybrid game of rounders and cricket. We still use it now when we head to places like Roundhay Park, in fact! All that fresh air and running around never fails to help them sleep and a decent picnic ensures full tummies too!

Plodging! Plodging, I hear you ask. Well, let me educate you a little bit. Plodging is in fact the art of wandering around in a body of water and kids absolutely love it. My two loved being able to get their wellies on and go in the streams of our local country parks and in fact, they awarded me a trophy not long ago and I reckon my role in their plodging history was what earned it for me.

The coveted ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ glasses case really is the big one in the dad awards world!

Obviously you have to keep a close eye on them, but it’s always fun. You can even go in with them, especially if they’re younger, but it’s about common sense, I suppose. Stick to the shallows and don’t let anyone get too adventurous! You could make things more interesting seeing who can find the shiniest rocks or best shells if you’re at the seaside or even come back out and try skimming stones. And don’t knock grabbing rocks, by the way; my son used to love doing this and amassed quite the collection as the years went by! I think he might even still have some!

Museums. Museums provide an excellent experience for kids. And many of them are totally free! The best bit is that the UK has loads of museums covering a wealth of different subject matter, so there’s sure to be something for your kids.

My home town of Newcastle has both the Discovery Museum and the Great North Museum, as well as Beamish, The Living Museum of The North slightly further afield, while where I live now in Yorkshire we have Eureka, The National Children’s Museum, the National Film and Photography Museum, the Leeds Museum, The Thackray Medical Museum, The Royal Armouries, as well as the Railway Museum in York and lots of others.

While doing some research for the article, I also discovered the wonderful Manchester Museum, the brilliant Kelham Island Museum in Sheffield, the Coventry Transport Museum, The National Football Museum in Manchester, The National Museum of Scotland, The North Lincolnshire Museum in Scunthorpe, The Blaise Castle House Museum in Bristol and the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford. The list could go on and on and we haven’t even looked at London!

Lots of museums nowadays are interactive and child friendly, so it’s not just a couple of hours of staring at objects in glass cases, which might well bore even the most patient of children. From descending down an old mineshaft in one of a surprising number of mining museums that we have, to riding around cobbled streets on a tram or old trolley bus at Beamish, there are a whole host of options to explore and there’s sure to be a fantastic museum near you.

The Beach. Surrounded by water as we are here in the UK, lots of us are lucky enough to have a beach somewhere that’s reasonably close. Living in Leeds, we’re very much landlocked and the likes of Scarborough and Bridlington are a good hour and a half drive away, so days out at the beach are few and far between. But we are able to recreate the beach experience at places like Bolton Abbey where we can sit at the side of the river and safely plodge, if needed!

The beach always has something to do though and it’s generally relatively inexpensive. You could dig holes, build sandcastles, go rock-pooling, play bat and ball or even hold a beach Olympics and it’s going to cost you very little, especially if you’re lucky enough to live close to the sea. Just make sure that you check out the weather forecast in advance!

Country Parks. Again, living in Yorkshire we’re blessed with quite a few of these nearby and they still provide a good day out with our kids, even at the cynical, moody ages they’re at now!

Many country parks have play areas, adventure playgrounds, trails to walk and other fun to be had, but really a day at the park is exactly what you make it. We would always take stuff to do; a kite, bats and balls, a football and even an insect hunting kit at one stage! Younger ones can even just be told they’re going exploring and they’ll enjoy the mystery of that…as long as you add some drama. The link below picks out some of the best ones in the UK.

https://www.ratedtrips.com/travel-ideas/the-best-country-parks-in-the-uk

So hopefully there’s a bit of inspiration there that helps you or yours out this summer. It can feel like a long time to be with your children day in, day out, but it can be made more than memorable with a little bit of thought. And as you can see, it doesn’t have to cost the earth either!

Rolando Aarons – What could have been?

Our academy system has been a puzzle to me for many years now. Set up to take the cream of talent in the area and turn them into Premier League footballers, it has rarely covered itself in glory. There have been successes, of course with players like Sean Longstaff and to an extent Elliot Anderson being our more recent. But there have been so many false dawns and so many bright hopes that promised much, but ultimately failed to deliver.

One such example was brought to my attention recently by the fact that he was released by one of my local clubs, Huddersfield Town, down here in West Yorkshire. So, what happened to Rolando Aarons? And what could have been?

Having joined the club in 2012 from Bristol City’s academy, Aarons spent some time in our academy sides before making his first team debut as a substitute at the start of the 2014 Premier League season. In the game against Crystal Palace a couple of weeks later, Aarons really made his mark, scoring and assisting in a 3-3 draw. Described by then manager Alan Pardew as “the kind of player fans love”, Aarons looked set for a very bright future and it seemed that we’d unearthed a real gem. Here was an attacking player with skill, flair, power and pace; someone who would make the fans sit up and take notice and – as he’d sort of come through the academy – one of our own as well.

Amazingly though, he would then go on to make only 10 starts over the next 5 seasons, with substitute appearances bringing him to a total of 27 appearances in that whole time.

In 2016, Rolando signed a 5 year contract with Newcastle as the club put their faith in this bright young star. He was 20 at the time and we were preparing for a season in the Championship where Aarons could have played a big part in our campaign. By October of that year though Aarons had been involved in what was described as “a wild west brawl” while out celebrating his son’s first birthday and the controversy would drag on until over a year later when he was sentenced to a 10 month jail term that was suspended for 12 months.

In the season that the brawl happened he made just one start with controversy hanging over him and persistent injuries hampering him throughout the season. Then, in our next season back in the Premier League he once more managed only the single start.

Something had to give as we started 2018 and it was decided that a change of tack was best for the player. So, he was sent out on loan. In fact, during his time at Newcastle, Rolando was sent out on loan on 5 occasions to Verona in Italy, Slovan Liberec in the Czech Republic, Sheffield Wednesday, Wycombe and Motherwell. In those spells he made 48 appearances and again, never really made an impact because of injuries.

Rolando Aarons’ story is the quite a sobering one. Here was a young player with tons of natural ability and in both Pardew and Benitez, he had managers who believed in him. But all we ever saw of him were fleeting glimpses; yet enough to suggest that he could go on to be a top player. In fact, early on in his career he was compared to Raheem Sterling in terms of stature and ability, but sadly, he never lived up to that promise.

In two years with Huddersfield Town he made just 11 starts. Even then, friends of mine who support the Terriers talked of a player who obviously had huge ability. And while – again – there were glimpses of said ability, his time in Yorkshire just didn’t work out. A loan last season at Motherwell ended up being cut short and by the end of the season Rolando was released. As I write, he’s still without a club. No longer the bright young prospect, Aarons is now 27 years old and should be reaching his prime.

Rolando Aarons looked to be one of the stand out academy graduates of recent history and there were many of us who thought he’d go on to play an important part in the future of the club at a time when Mike Ashley was refusing to invest. With pace and skill being much needed requirements in the modern game it felt like he had a real chance of going all the way to the top, but it wasn’t to be .To hear of the latest setback in his career is very sad indeed.

Always look on the bright side: Five Things That Made Me Smile in June.

Every once in a while I like to write these blogs, mainly to remind myself that in amongst all of the reasons to moan about life, there’s always something to smile about. It’s nice to send some positivity out to readers too though. We all need to moment to smile about, don’t we?

So, what was turning the frown upside down in June then?

The weather. I don’t know about where you live, but here in the UK, in our little corner of West Yorkshire, it was wonderfully sunny for a while. The British joke about this, of course, is that we spend most of our year complaining that it’s too wet or too cold only to then complain that it’s too hot when we get our annual 5 day heatwave! It seems the weather gods can’t win! However, the sunny weather made me smile. And while it doesn’t make running or working in the garden any easier, it does make the whole place look better. We had a few afternoons spent just sitting, reading and chatting in our back garden and the colours are fantastic. And then you look up and see a clear, vividly blue sky. How could you not smile?
The Borrowdale Banksy. If you don’t already know, then Borrowdale is in the Lake District here in the UK. It’s a National Park and an area of outstanding natural beauty. Borrowdale itself is a particularly remote area but for the last couple of years, slate sculptures have been appearing; the work of the Borrowdale Banksy. No one seems to know this Banksy’s identity, but the sculptures are fantastic, as you can see below and news of the latest one made me smile.

The latest Borrowdale Banksy sculpture in the Lake District

Eating Out. June is a very busy month in our house as there are two family birthdays within 3 days. So, much of the first part of the month gets taken up with planning and buying presents and it just feels like we’re rushing around for weeks. This year however, we decided that rather than just eat out to celebrate both birthdays at the same time, we’d go out twice. This was smile-worthy for two reasons – delicious food and drink and no dishes for me to do! And then, having enjoyed the meals so much we decided to end the weekend with a Sunday roast in the pub!
A Science Cover. Covering lessons is one of my least favourite things as a high school teacher. You often don’t know the class or have the faintest idea about the subject and you’re usually required to move halfway round the school to get there, meaning that you often arrive late with a chaotic cluster of children waiting for you, excited by the fact that their teacher’s not here. It also means that you’ve lost a free period. On a delightful Friday last month, I walked into my room and turned on my computer to discover I’d been given a Year 7 Science cover. My only free of the day, gone! I was gutted. However, a few minutes later, things got better when a member of the Science department came down to tell me about the class being moved. She asked if I’d like them to come down to my room, so of course I said ‘yes’! First problem removed. Then it turned out they were doing an exam; a peaceful cover almost guaranteed. Sadly – but much to my amusement and hopefully yours too – once I’d settled the class and got them going with their exam, my inner teenager came to play. I had the brainwave of thinking I might try to do the exam myself. Why, I don’t know. I was appalling at Science at school. But when I opened the first page I was delighted. The first section was human reproduction and try as I might to have a proper go at the questions, all I could do was attempt silly answers. The results, below, had me stifling giggles and holding off smiles for what felt like the rest of the day. And yes, to confirm, I am a 51-year-old man.

Local Legend on Strava. Lots of you will know that I love running. It’s been important for both my physical and mental health, especially over these last 5 years or so and it’s been something I’ve done on and off all my life. Nowadays I track my runs via the Strava app on my watch and was thrilled on a recent run to find that I’d earned a ‘medal’ for an achievement. Eager to see if I’d beaten some kind of personal best, I was straight on the app in order to have a look. Imagine my surprise to discover that I’d become a ‘Local Legend’ on a stretch of my run that others in my town must use regularly. Imagine my surprise turning to fits of laughter though when I discovered what I was the local legend of. My official title is ‘Local Legend of Poo Bins to Topcliffe’, a stretch of path that leads up to a local mill building at Topcliffe from…well you can work the rest out for yourself.

Let’s concentrate on the ‘legend’ rather than the ‘poo bins’.

The Leeds 10k. I’ve written about this already in another blog post, but June was the month that I completed the Leeds 10k, which would have been reason enough to smile in itself. However, I also managed to run it in the fastest time I’ve managed since my heart surgery – 56 minutes, if you insist on asking! – and this kept a smile on my face for days!

So, in terms of good stuff happening, June was an excellent month. Even getting a cover lesson ended up with me smiling, even though it was a very juvenile reason! I hope you enjoyed reading about it all though!

Middle Age Gigging: Embrace at The Piece Hall, Halifax.

I can’t honestly say that this was a gig that I was looking forward to, which is quite unusual for me as I’ve been going to see bands live since I was 15. It’s especially strange because this is Embrace, probably my favourite band and one that I’ve seen live too many times to keep track of. But it’s been a 25 year journey.

What worried me was the presence of a pacemaker in my body. In terms of ‘middle age gigging’ this is entirely new ground. I’ve had reservations before, just because my ageing body can’t keep up with all of the jumping around that going to a gig involves. But, I’ve always coped. This was to be my first gig with my new robot attachment though!

The last time I saw Embrace in Sheffield last year, unbeknownst to my wife, I suffered with a bout of palpitations and dizziness at the venue shortly before the gig. My heart was racing, I was sweating and then at the end of it all – as was the way at this pre-pacemaker time – I nearly passed out with the dizziness that brought it all to an end. I saw the gig out though and it was fantastic.

Today, in true rock and roll style, the missus misreads her spreadsheet or something and it means that we’re an hour early getting to the venue. Channeling our inner rock gods though…we wander around Halifax for a bit before going back to The Piece Hall and worrying about which queue will be the quickest.

Once we’re in, we’re so early that even a leisurely stroll into the venue means that we manage to get spots on the barrier at the front. A bit of pacemaker protection. Nice! There’s not much protection from the stiff cold breeze, however, and after about half an hour I’m freezing and regretting my rock and roll decision not to bring a hoodie!

Thankfully, the first support act, Ellur, emit warmth, as well as glamour and a smattering of theatricality. We’ve seen Ellur before, last year supporting Embrace in Sheffield, where they were refreshingly good. At the time I wrote about comparisons to First Aid Kit and even Belinda Carlisle and I’d add a bit of Fleetwood Mac to that list after tonight, while adding that they’re very much Ellur too, if that makes sense.

Tonight, Ellur are brilliant. The band are clearly thrilled to be here as Halifax is home territory, but it’s more than that. They’re a band that are finding their way, but you wouldn’t really know it and they play with a heady mix of giddiness and belief in their songs. Singer Ellur has incredible stage presence. It’s like she completely believes that she should be here. And she’s right. They all are. There’s a mesmeric quality about the way Ellur owns the stage, but that’s also fair to say about the rest of the band too. The guitarist and drummer are grinning all the way through the set and the keyboard player adds beautiful harmonies to Ellur’s already powerful voice.

‘Burn It All Down’ and ‘Anywhere’ are the stand out tracks for me. ‘Anywhere’ in particular sticks in my head, which is always a good sign as I’m notoriously bad at remembering lyrics, so having heard this track only a few times before, for me to remember even small sections is a mark of its quality! It’s not just me either. I look round a few times to see lots of people singing and also note the fact that so many people are here already watching Ellur on stage.

It’s an atmospheric and exciting set that’s over all too quickly; the perfect appetizer – I hope that’s not too condescending – for what’s to come.

There’s a quick change of gear and before we know it Starsailor take to the stage. Singer James Walsh – aka the nicest man in indie rock – is all smiles too, but it’s the songs that will win the day here. From the opening chords of ‘Poor Misguided Fool’ right through to the familiar anthemic brilliance of ‘Good Souls’ this is a joy to behold. Everyone is smiling and the singalong is getting louder by the line. Once again, the band are relaxed and it makes for a thoroughly enjoyable watch.

From the off, I find myself watching the bass player, knowing that something’s not right, but as I don’t know Starsailor that well, I can’t pinpoint what it is. When James reveals that regular bass player James Stelfox was ‘unavalailable for selection’ the penny drops, but I still can’t quite place the new bloke. Turns out it’s Andy Dunlop from Travis doing a sterling job! The band are as tight as ever and songs that go back over 20 years clearly stand the test of time.

Watching Starsailor is a bit like meeting up with old mates and finding that despite your nerves, the conversation flows as it ever did and you still like each other just as much. And it’s an analogy that is taken further when singer James reveals the reason why he’s wearing shorts is that he’s had minor surgery and has been advised to wear loose clothing! So, I’m not the only one having to adapt for medical reasons tonight!

The combination of the brilliant ‘newness’ of Ellur and the familiar and wonderful songs of Starsailor have helped to calm my nerves and suddenly the pacemaker is nothing but a passing thought (now there’s a sentence I never dreaned I’d write in a review!) and I feel ready to enjoy Embrace.

At 9pm, the sun is one the wane and it’s over to Embrace to supply us with warmth and light. It’s a mission that they not only accept, but one that they smash out of the park. There must be something in the air tonight (apologies for lapsing into Phil Collins there) because once again everyone on stage is smiling. But Embrace have taken it up a notch and somewhere, Cheshire presumably, there are several cats missing their grins.

This is a gig to celebrate the 25th anniversary of their debut album, ‘The Good Will Out’ and so the record will be played in its entirety, which is a real treat. We kick off with ‘All You Good Good People’ and it is f***ing wonderful to be alive! I’ve forgotten my problems and am singing at the top of my voice – more apologies, this time to anyone who was near me! But the songs on this album are simply anthemic and it’s hard not to join in. We want to listen, but we want to sing too and I think the band love that anyway, so sing we do!

Danny is on great form and is very clearly enjoying every second of this. Always one for jumping around or gesturing, tonight he’s dancing, actually dancing and it’s clear that it’s not just the audience that are losing themselves in the songs. And while I don’t think the invite from ‘Strictly’ will be in the post any time soon (sorry Danny), it’s brilliant to see how much he’s loving the gig. He jokes about us all coming back for the 50th anniversary of the album and right now I’d tell you I’d be there in a heartbeat…if the bugger keeps working that is!

This is an album chock full of tunes and one that means a great deal of stuff to a great deal people and a glance around me confirms just that. There are arms aloft, eyes glued to the stage and everyone is either smiling or singing!

By the time we get to ‘One Big Family’ the atmosphere is simply amazing and there can’t be a member of the audience or band who isn’t having the time of their lives. The energy goes up a notch for this one and while it’s followed by slower songs in ‘Higher Sights’ and ‘Retread’ there’s no let up in the noise or the enjoyment.

The band close the set with the last track on the album, naturally. ‘The Good Will Out’ is quite simply a classic, so it’s a shame that the attention of myself and those around me is drawn away by some brainless behaviour in the crowd as some folk decide they’re more important than the rest of us and try to barge their way to the front. So, while I’d like to say that this part of the set was brought to an emotional end, I can’t because almost all 8 minutes or so of the song pass with me concentrating mainly on keeping my place at the front, protecting my wife and not lamping a total stranger who pushed me into a barrier.

Thankfully, Embrace have got 25 year’s worth of massive tunes to call on, so it’s all quickly forgotten when they come back out for a mini ‘greatest hits’ type set. We’re treated to new songs ‘Death Is Not The End’ and ‘We Are It’, both of which prove that the band haven’t lost their happy knack for writing a banger. Then there’s what feels like a rare appearance for ‘Nature’s Law’ before Richard takes over the vocals on a scintillating version of ‘Refugees’.

With closing songs, ‘Gravity’ and ‘Ashes’ there’s a huge clash of emotions. ‘Gravity’ is just beautiful and it’s not long before I find I’m shedding a little bit of a tear. It was the first dance at my wedding for starters, but the line ‘Can you hear my heart beating’, while I clutch my wife’s hand, takes on a whole new meaning given the last few months.

Thankfully, I’m quickly snapped out of this lull by ‘Ashes’. It’s become familiar now for Danny to ask us to jump up and down during this track, not because we need the encouragement, but more of a warning for our backs and knees! Try as I might to protect both back and knees, the opening bars spring them into life and I’m bouncing along and joining the rest of The Piece Hall in shouting the lyrics back at the band. Once again, ‘Ashes’ creates a moment for us all and it’s an incredible way to end an incredible event.

All that’s left is for us to drag our weary bodies back to the car. As we file out into the night I decide that tomorrow will be spent in the pursuit of rest and relaxation only, aided by my good friends Voltarol, paracetamol, crisps, caffeine and telly. It’s a gig I’ll remember for a long, long time and one that I’m still smiling about. But I really need to rest!

NUFC: James Maddison – fatal error or near miss?

So, depending on what version of the news you pay attention to, we’ve either lost out on signing James Maddison or never actually made a bid this summer. Reading tweets from some Spurs fans, it’s no wonder we’ve missed out on Maddison, given that last season was a flash in the pan and that Newcastle is evidently a terrible place to live. Apparently the player himself ‘begged’ Spurs to sign him, after all.

But is there anything for us to feel too concerned about?

In one sense, yes there is. Maddison is undoubtedly a very talented footballer, an experienced Premier League and an England international and he would have almost certainly improved our team. He’s also quite a versatile player, having operated right across the midfield for Leicester last season. With 10 goals and 9 assists in a team that were relegated, his talent is there for all to see and anyone who has watched him with any regularity will have been able to spot just how good a player he is.

However, for me he wasn’t ever quite the right fit for us. Don’t get me wrong, when I heard about the links and realised that we were serious I was quite excited. But, I’d like to think that missing out on him won’t actually prove too costly.

Firstly, I’d argue that he doesn’t quite fit the profile of player we look for. We’re an energetic, fairly physical side who play a high pressing game and while I don’t profess to be any kind of tactical expert, I don’t think that style suits Maddison. I certainly don’t picture him making any lung-busting runs back the way to track back and make defensive tackles a la Joelinton or Sean Longstaff. So, while Maddison would undoubtedly improve our attacking game and be sure to create the chances that could convert draws into wins, I think we’d be in danger of suffering defensively with him in the side. And we’re not short on players who can create chances either.

One area that really concerned me about the prospect of singing Maddison was the all round cost. The fee – if reports of to be believed – of £40m is a good deal, if a little hard to believe given that he was in the final year of his contract at Leicester. However, reports of wages of £170k per week didn’t sit well with me. I understand that this is the reality of modern day football, but it still doesn’t feel right. I understand that we already have high earners in the squad too. I also understand that if we continue with our upward trajectory – and you’d expect we would – it may well become the norm. But not yet, please. Not for me.

We are a club situated in a traditionally working class area and probably one of the most deprived cities in Britain. There’s a highly publicised stall raising funds for a food bank outside the ground for home games, highlighting the deprivation as well as the caring side of the community. So, while I expect that these type of wages may well become the norm, I don’t feel like we should be taking that particular plunge just yet.

My final query about Maddison would be around his injury record. He seems to have suffered with knee problems throughout his career and given the cost, I’m again not sure he’s worth the risk. Our midfield is strong and we’ve already added Sandro Tonali to the quality of players like Bruno, Willock, Longstaff and Joelinton, so unless we’re bringing in a more defensive midfielder, I don’t think there’s a priority there, especially if it’s a player that we may well end up being without for a chunk of games. Next season will be incredibly demanding on our squad, so we can’t take risks on highly played luxury players that may not be able to play a full part.

Just to be clear, there are no sour grapes here. If Tottenham fans want to believe that Maddison has signed because they’re a bigger club or a better bet for success or even because of the London factor, then so be it. I don’t see the rivalry that seems to be being set up and I don’t begrudge them the player. For the record, I believe they’ve got a very, very good player in James Maddison and one that I’m sure I would have enjoyed watching. It’s simply that the fact that he hasn’t signed for us doesn’t worry me that much because I’m happy to simply trust Eddie, the owners and the process.

Book Review: ‘The Wild Silence’ by Raynor Winn

For my entire life I’ve been guilty of falling for stuff because of the way it looks. Pebbles and shells on the beach or rivers we paddled in were frequently brought home because I thought they looked lovely and it felt like life would be enhanced by having them with me. When I was younger I worked in a scrap yard and would pocket coins and other interesting trinkets while sorting through random scrap metal. It felt like treasure at the tender age of 14. As I got older I bought records and books based on their covers.

‘The Wild Silence’ is one such item. It came into my possession because I loved the cover. The blurb made it sound quite interesting to me, but I couldn’t put it down because of the cover. It was from one of those trips to the budget book shop. My guard is always down here and I can spend far too long browsing the shelves and then far too much buying the treasure I’ve gathered.

‘The Wild Silence’ is a memoir that tells the tale of Ray (Raynor Winn) and Moth (her husband) who are fighting to keep their heads above water amidst health issues and homelessness. But this isn’t a story set on urban streets. Instead, Ray and Moth find themselves sheltering in a chapel in deepest Cornwall, having walked the South West Coastal Path while homeless, camping in remote spots nightly.

It’s an interesting juxtaposition; the desperation of their homelessness set against their existence surrounded by the raw beauty of nature. Human pain and bewilderment played out in a rugged yet idyllic setting.

Having lost their home and their livelihood – a Welsh farm – Ray and Moth had been left battling the elements as well as financial ruin. However, ‘The Wild Silence’ finds them somewhat settled in the chapel with at least some sort of future ahead of them. Moth is battling against a debilitating condition, but has began a degree course as he hopes to lecture in the near future. Meanwhile Ray is left in a home that’s not hers, worrying about whether Moth will even make it to his lectures, on edge until he checks in, while trying to avoid the people in the village where she lives.

The book is a tale of a vivid struggle with a quiet, yet quite lovely triumph at its end. Moth and Ray have only each other. In the end, their existence and love is a huge win for the human spirit.

Following on from the best selling memoir ‘The Salt Path’, ‘The Wild Silence’ shows us that there is always a glimmer of light in the darkness. It is beautifully written and I found myself easily picturing the various settings for the novel as well as rooting for Ray and Moth throughout. While ‘The Wild Silence’ can be quite a bleak read at times, it is ultimately uplifting. Ray finds a way to regain her confidence and faith in her fellow man, while Moth simply finds a way through strength and sheer bloody mindedness.

I’d thoroughly recommend ‘The Wild Silence’ although I’d tell you to read ‘The Salt Path’ first! I didn’t, but having heard of the first memoir, I kind of understood what was going on after a little while. Winn writes beautifully which means that we’re willing her and Moth to ‘win’ as we read. When they get their first break it’s a blessed relief and even though their struggles are far from over, we’re left with a sense of hope that is fulifilled by the end of the novel.

I give ‘The Wild Silence’

Turning Points: The Road to Recovery

Today, my body hurts almost more than ever. There’s a dull ache almost everywhere, except for my pacemaker scarring and the area around it. That’s really very sore and it feels like almost every movement on my left side makes me wince.

It’s all OK though, because that dull ache, the fatigue I feel and the way my brain seems to be telling my eyes to just close is just the result of another turning point in my recovery. I’ll explain later on why I feel so rough.

It’s been just over 7 months since my surgery and while there have been setbacks that have brought me crashing back down to Earth, there have been some notable turning points that have told me that everything is going in the right direction. A lot of negatives, but enough positives to keep me going.

The first one was actually getting out of hospital. Whatever the reason for being in hospital, I think you automatically feel a little bit better when you’re back at home. The familiarity of it all, the good will and love of family and friends will give you a certain air of contentment, however your body feels.

It took me a couple of days before I felt strong enough to go out for a walk and we only went a very short way, but the sense of achievement was more than enough to make it feel like a big turning point. I wasn’t just lying in bed, feeling sorry for myself; I was trying to recover, trying to get stronger and fitter and I knew that this was exactly what I had to do for every day that I was at home and away from work. From day one I was determined to get well.

My next turning point was accepting that what had happened – having to have a pacemaker fitted – was quite a big deal. However, despite the fact that I was struggling to feel remotely alive, I was sure that the operation was just routine and that it was more my age that was holding me back. A few people had to sit me down and have a bit of a word before I was able to take in exactly how serious things had been. Coming to terms with it all has been a huge factor in beginning to feel anywhere near my old self again.

Heading back to work after 4 months off was part of this. All of my friends and colleagues were very kind, checking up on me, letting me know that I’d been missed and that it was great to see me back. I didn’t believe any of them when they told me that I looked well, but that’s another story! However, getting back into the routine of work and seeing that I could still do everything that was necessary to be a high school teacher was a definite turning point and something that helped pick my confidence up from the basement level where it had been previously residing for 4 months!

The first major turning point in recovery was visiting friends in Toronto in April. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but suddenly I felt a lot better about everything. It was of course wonderful to see our friends – Andy and Kim and their kids, Hannah Mae and Benji – but still I can’t say exactly what made me feel so much better. Perhaps it was simply seeing such brilliant people again? Perhaps, the knowledge that I was capable of heading to the other side of the world and being on the go all day, every day? Or perhaps it was just the freedom of it all and the fact that I enjoyed everything so much? After all, they say that laughter is good for the soul, don’t they? Whatever it was, my body felt lighter when I returned and my mood had very definitely changed.

Top 10 Toronto: Some highlights of our trip.

Running again has definitely helped me turn a corner. I ran a 10k race in May – my first in almost 8 months – and it proved to me that my body was capable of more than I’d dared to imagine. Even going out on short runs had been a boost. However, the biggest turning point so far came on Sunday just gone and it’s the aforementioned reason why my body aches so much this week.

On Sunday 18th June, I ran the Leeds 10k and proved a lot of things to myself. It told me that my body is inching towards being better, fitter and stronger, although I’m already aware that it’s going to be possibly another 6 months before I reach the kind of condition that I’d been in before my surgery.

I won’t bore you with the minutiae of the race, but I can tell you that it felt like I did well. ‘Well’ that is, in the context of being a 51-year-old man just over 7 months out from heart surgery! This was only my second 10k run since October last year, but my best time since then too. Strava keeps reminding me that I was averaging around 52 minutes for the distance last year, but my one previous effort this year had been completed in a fraction under an hour. So, to achieve a time of 56.54 on Sunday felt like winning the lottery.

For weeks I’ve felt down about the times I’ve been posting when out on runs. I’ve had numerous setbacks and had to rest for weeks too, which has made me feel really low. So completing the course in 56 minutes felt good! A friend has repeatedly told me that times don’t matter, but being as stubborn as I am, I just haven’t been able to ignore that clock!

There was also the fact of how my body felt on the run itself. Apart from one short lived, but very tired spell in the final kilometre, I felt very good (again, in the context outlined earlier!). I felt light and strong, which I’ve not felt all year. Runs have felt like I’m heavy and plodding, dragging myself around my routes. It’s felt like no fun at all and and yet on Sunday it was an absolute joy to be out on the roads and not feel the energy drain from my body at any point. I kept telling myself to relax, reminding myself when to lengthen my stride and when to shorten it for uphill stretches. Most of all though, I kept reminding myself to just keep going! I hadn’t managed a full 10k in training and so that made me slightly nervous, although I knew deep down that I wouldn’t stop until I crossed that line! But for almost the whole 10k, I felt completely in control.

Without doubt, this was a massive turning point in my recovery so far. Without sounding too dramatic, but while also trying to simply tell the truth, it was one of only a handful of times in the last 7 months when it’s felt truly wonderful to be alive. The payback has been how badly my body has taken it! My efforts have really worn me out and for the first couple of days afterwards, it was tough just to get through the day. However, I’m confident that will pass. Anyone’s body needs to recover after being pushed to its limits and I know only too well that my body is no different.

It’s been a good last few days and a nice reminder that I am getting better. Now, the hope is just that I can keep on moving forward and not be forced to take too many backward steps any more. My next 10k race is in October and I genuinely can’t wait!

Poetry Blog: Wandering the park

This was a poem that I wrote the bones of on my phone while I was out and about. It was written during one of my daily walks when I was recovering from heart surgery at the beginning of the year.

It was at a time when I wasn’t as exhausted as I had been and so was able to take a bit more in. Previously, thoughts had been restricted to just getting home without running out of steam and my gaze would be either firmly fixed ahead or glancing at my watch. By this point I wasn’t so out of breath and just generally tired, so was able to have a bit of a look around as I walked.

The more I noticed, the more I found myself coming up with description that would turn into lines that could be used in a poem. So eventually I stopped and made some notes on my phone. Later I would sit with the notes open on my phone at the side of me and a notebook in front of me. The result was this poem.

Wandering the park

A thin carpet of frost covers the ground,
juxtaposed at the furthest point by a crisp blue sky,
giving the landscape a glamorous and temporary identity
and changing things for all who pass through.
Birds scamper about, pecking repeatedly yet in vain at the frozen ground,
while blackbirds, a thrush and wood pigeons compete for space.
Overhead, a magpie heckles from above, perched safely,
high up in a skeletal tree.
Leaves, scattered at the foot of trees are dusted at the edges
with pristine white and crunch underfoot as I wander from the path.
Elsewhere a squirrel joins the birds; not quite a friendly gathering,
but not quite enemies either,
each just happy to ignore the other,
joined together in the same cause.

A short one, this. I’m guessing it was too cold on this particular January morning to be stood about making notes! But, as ever in the park, there was a lot going on and it was nice to feel well enough to be able to tale the time to watch.

Most mornings during that time I’d take photos, mainly just to put on social media to remind people that I was still alive! While I was looking for the phone notes, I noticed the date of writing them, so went back to my photos to see if I’d taken any on that morning. Here are some of them.

I remember it struck me that while I was about the only person in the park at that time of day, the wildlife had come out in force. Too cold for the usual dog walkers to stand around while their pets sniffed anything and everything. Only me daft enough or desperate enough to sample the early morning light and freezing cold. But it was the kind of hour or so that I actually really enjoyed while I was recovering – just still and peaceful, giving me time to think things through and make a little more sense of what I was going through.

So, a shorter poem today, but for me personally, some reasonably positive memories from what was actually a pretty dark time. I hope you enjoyed the poem!