A Christmas Fuddle.

It was Helen Keller who once said that “Life is either daring adventure or nothing at all”. And after receiving an email at work just before Christmas I was pretty sure that I was going to end up on some kind of daring adventure while knowing nothing at all about what was going on. So, she was right in a way…

This was the email.

Hi Graham,

We are going to have a fuddle for Kayleigh in the department meeting next Thursday.

If I send the list of what people have already agreed to bring, please could you let me know what you will be able to bring so I can make sure that we have a variety?

Many thanks,

Sophie

P.S. You’re my hero.

The hero thing was no big deal. I find that happens regularly, especially when I make it up. But my reply to the rest of it was more a less just a massive ‘WHAT THE HEY?’

A fuddle. A fuddle? I must admit that I took a deep breath and clutched my pearls at such an unknown entity. And not only were we having a fuddle, but I had to bring stuff in order to make sure we had variety in our fuddle. This wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to be part of. I mean, I’ve only been at this school for just over a year and I’m really quite a shy boy.

It turns out though that a fuddle is a Yorkshire term that refers to ‘a communal bring and share buffet’, apparently. These are especially common in workplaces at times like Christmas, so at my Yorkshire workplace we were ticking every box imaginable with our fuddle.

The funny thing was that I’d never before heard the word ‘fuddle’. I’ve lived in Yorkshire for almost 30 years and no one has ever mentioned fuddling, let alone invited me along to one. The lack of a previous invite bit doesn’t surprise me at all as I try to cultivate a face and attitude that says, ‘don’t include me’ throughout every waking moment. But it felt weird that everyone was so free and easy with their fuddling and yet I’d never heard it mentioned once until now.

The fuddle still felt adventurous to me though, despite just being a bit of a gathering. I still over thought how much fizzy drink to get and what flavours and I still had, as usual, an acute sense of dread at mixing with other people in such a setting. I wasn’t very well though, so kind of kept my distance and just sat quietly eating the odd chocolate based snack despite my lack of appetite.

My fuddle induction was complete a couple of weeks later when our shower stopped working and we had to call in an electrician. When he arrived he was with his wife and explained that he didn’t do many jobs anymore, but just liked helping people out. He’d stopped working so hard due to health issues and his wife had given up her job to help out, which I thought was an amazing thing to do. Later though, he made a joke about taking his apprentice – his wife – out for a Christmas fuddle as a reward for all of her hard work. It was a good line, but I fear he must’ve been a bit quizzical about how much I laughed! I mean, how was he to know that this was only my second fuddle ever?

Anyway, happy fuddling to you all!

NB: Thanks to Sophie and Ruth for their fuddle expertise!

NUFC: Whatever happened to the dark arts?

Once upon a time, Eddie Howe took a team of down on their luck footballers who just seemed to be waiting for the inevitability of relegation to swallow them up and, with the help of one or two additions, turned them into a bunch of cold eyed killers for whom losing felt totally unacceptable. This was done with a dose of positivity, a total change in attitude and a healthy dollop of the dark arts.

So whatever happened to those likely lads?

Well, with a bit of investment and a lot of momentum that team we call United saved themselves from relegation, got to the Champions League and then won our first trophy in 56 years with last March’s Carabao Cup win.

Then what?

Some would say that we scraped our into the Champions League spots for this year with a run of unconvincing form that culminated in an insipid performance on the last day of last season in defeat against Everton. Something was missing and some among our ranks would say that it still is.

We used to be a team who weren’t afraid to lean on a bit of shithousery. Kicking the ball away, feigning injury to slow the game down, deliberately putting two balls on the pitch and just generally being a bit nasty, physical and in your face when it was needed. A snarling, growling beast of a team that went for the opposition’s throat with a level of success that shook up the Premier League. They even changed the rules just to put our nose out of joint a little when they decided that only one person could be in the technical area. Eddie and Jason take note. Lately though, there’s been less and less of this kind of thing.

I don’t think it’s too harsh to say that performances have been at times a bit insipid this season. None more so than what we served up at the dark place for the derby. What was needed was fight, hard work and a bit of bite, yet what we got was just passive and disorganised. Where we should have been snapping into tackles and making maximum use of the dark arts, what we actually served up was a very pale imitation of Eddie Howe’s Newcastle United.

Amongst all the calls for more creativity and flair what we need more than anything is a more back to basics approach that let’s opponents know that they’re in a game.

There have been hints at this recently in the victory against Manchester City and the first half against Chelsea where we hunted in packs and never let them settle. Yet the consistency is still lacking, even when you factor in our recent back to back wins.

I write this on the morning of the Leeds game. Aye, dirty Leeds, a team renowned for their physical approach and just a general all round nastiness since the 70s and Don Revie’s boys. They earned a reputation and just seem to have worn it like a badge of honour ever since, regardless of players or management. Elland Road too has long been a bear pit with a partisan atmosphere that starts with the dark arts before the team’s even warmed up.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating a change so drastic that we get a ‘dirty old Toon’ identity or anything similar, but it seems clear that we need to get back to at the very least making teams feel uncomfortable when they play Newcastle United. We used to knock teams out of their stride and mess with their rhythm with a box of tricks that straddled the line between right and wrong. We used to bully teams and let them know they were in a game, but this season has been an altogether more passive affair.

From Wor Flags, through the stands and all the way across every available social media platform the cry this season seems to be ‘Let’s get into these!’ and yet the occasions when it actually happens have been few and far between for a while now. It’d be great to see a return to the dark arts. It’d be great to have that snarling, spitting beast of a team back!

Howay the lads, let’s get into these again!

Book Review: The Wilderness Years Newcastle United 1978-1984 by Gary Sherrard

In the ever prosperous post takeover years a lot of Newcastle United fans will think of the era under Mike Ashley as some kind of wilderness period. In fact, the club has had many wilderness periods. But for some of us more middle aged fans the years between 1978 and 1984 were memorable for all the wrong reasons. For much of them there was literally nothing to cheer, whatsoever. The Ashley years had Ben Arfa and Cabaye while from ’78-’84 we had Shinton and Rafferty! Gary Sherrard’s ‘The Wilderness Years Newcastle United 1978-1984’ covers it all brilliantly.

Newcastle had been relegated from the old First Division at the end of the ’77/’78 season. We’d finished second bottom of the league and ended up 11 points short of safety with a -36 goal difference. A spectacular failure. We would stay in the old second division for the next 6 seasons, often with no hope of going up. These were the wilderness years.

It was during these years that I first started going to St. James’ Park. As a Newcastle United daft kid I’d been desperate to start going to games, having watched my dad going (and coming back in a very different state to the way he left the house) for years. It took heart surgery, a letter from a family friend to Newcastle and a magnificent gesture from the club to make that happen. And so, at the start of the ’79/80 season I was able to take up a seat alongside my dad in the East Stand.

So, for me, ‘The Wilderness Years’ captures my first years of properly supporting the club, while also reminding of a lot of things that my young brain probably didn’t quite take in.

‘The Wilderness Years’ is, in my opinion, essential reading for any Toon fan. Whether you were there or not shouldn’t matter. Sherrard’s writing is superb, capturing the line that we tread between a sense of hope and a sense of helplessness, brilliantly. It’s all done with a sense of humour too, while remaining true to the feeling of the times. Newcastle United was a fractured, directionless football club at this time; the team felt like it was in permanent transition and almost always looking for the final 11 pieces of the jigsaw. Even the ground wasn’t complete, despite ambitious plans.

The attention to detail here is superb too. There’s lots I don’t remember about this period – I was dedicated, but also very young – but the book brings it all flooding back in glorious and not so glorious black and white. So any of the players that I may have forgotten are brought back to mind, while all of those that I’d tried so hard to forget over the years – the aforementioned Rafferty, Shinton et al – are also unfortunately brought back too! Sherrard also gives us a little social commentary along the way too; some politics, some culture and current affairs and more pertinently some comments about terrace culture and the epidemic of hooliganism at the time, making the book even more interesting.

‘The Wilderness Years’ ends with the first incarnation of Kevin Keegan at the club; truly wonderful years when suddenly there was innovation and imagination about the way we were run and the direction of travel felt ever more hopeful.

Overall, ‘The Wilderness Years’ is an illuminating read. It’s certainly offers a contrast to more recent history and serves to illustrate that Mike Ashley certainly wasn’t the first steering a rudderless ship. The book might even help remind a few of just how lucky we are under the present ownership and stewardship of Eddie Howe.

I’d thoroughly recommend Gary Sherrard’s ‘The Wilderness Years’ for any Newcastle fan. It’s a comprehensive and enjoyable read, not only about the club, but also the region and the culture during a period of time where supporting the club genuinely felt like a severe test of your patience and loyalty. As the writer says, ‘Newcastle have always been oblivious to the obvious’ and this period of our history highlights that in the most glaring way possible.

A cracking read for any Mag!

Review: Stereophonics at Sheffield Arena.

As a music lover, it’s safe to say that I’d give my right arm to be in a famous band…although maybe that wouldn’t then be overly practical. You know what I mean though, right? And when Stereophonics take to the stage in Sheffield tonight and Kelly Jones strides down the catwalk that stretches out into the crowd, all leather jacket and cool quiff, that feeling is amplified x 10, if you’ll pardon the pun.

Some lucky people just exude cool and Jones has always had it. So tonight, as the band kick things off with a raucous ‘Vegas Two Times’… it’s difficult not to focus on just him.

But this is much more than just the Kelly Jones show. The staging is superb, with big screens and graphics combining with an audience cam – briefly featuring me and Mrs C stood either side of an Amazonian giant of a young woman – and even the occasional lyric being projected behind the band. This means that your eyes are everywhere while the rest of you is busy getting pretty much blown away by the sound.

The early part of the set features a series of singalong Stereophonics’ classics and tonight’s crowd don’t fail to indulge, meaning that, despite the fact that this could just be regarded as a soulless a 15,000 capacity concrete bowl, the energy is palpable. This is a band well versed at playing this size of venue and then some and it’s a great start to the gig.

In the middle of the set is a mighty version of ‘Geronimo’, featuring a bit more catwalk action and some rock and roll superstar poses. This is then followed a few songs later by the welcome return of raucous early classic, ‘More Life In A Tramp’s Vest’ before the frenzy is calmed with the unlikely appearance of Kelly playing a ukelele version – or at least the start of a version – of ‘I Wouldn’t Believe Your Radio’.

Later in the set it’s ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ that has the crowd singing along before an excellent version of the altogether more soulful ‘Fly Like An Eagle’. And then it’s time for the final song of the first part of the set and a thunderous rendition of ‘The Bartender And The Thief’ which leaves everyone in the crowd hungry for more.

For the encore, there’s ‘100MPH’, ‘Traffic’ ‘C’est la vie’ and then an almighty version of fan favourite ‘Dakota’. A brilliant ending to a brilliant gig. On a cold and windy December night in Sheffield, Stereophonics have proven once again that they can warm any room right up!

Always look on the bright side; Five Things That Made Me Smile in November.

Another month, another search for the little moments of happiness that are always waiting to be found. With daylight in a bit shorter supply this is the time of year that has the chance to affect my mood the most. I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark, which isn’t very good, really. So, what made me smile last month?

Puffins return! This was a story I read about a colony of puffins returning to the delightfully named Isle of Muck in County Antrim for the first time in years. Apparently, following a programme of rat eradication that started in 2017, combined with the fact that the council now keeps the vegetation low, thus providing less cover for predators, a small amount of puffins has been seen nesting on the island. Puffins are an at risk breed of seabird, as well as being really cute, so their return and attempts at breeding is a real plus. This made made smile, but nearly as much as when the article also informed me that baby puffins are known as ‘pufflings’!

Football and a bin brings joy to lunch break! Another story I spotted, this one. This is the tale of workers at a factory who have livened up their lunch times by devising a football based game that they spend playing on their break. It was something that they came up with about ten years ago, but a video of it went viral and now the world knows all about it. One of the organisers of the game, Connor Fathers explained that they had just thought, “we’re spending every lunch break just staring at our phones, not talking to each other, not doing anything. There’s got to be more to lunch than this.” And so, bin game was born, the premise being that if the group can keep the ball up four times they can have a shot at the bin to score. You maybe have to watch the video to understand the joy behind it, but this really made me smile because it’s exactly the kind of thing I’d love to be doing in literally any spare moments, let alone lunch times!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0mgm9s3

“Do we have to keep renewing this?” Every year, as part of our efforts to promote reading, the school where I work gives every Year 7 student a free book. They get to choose which book they’d like from a selection and then we order them and have to endure “When’s my book coming?” for several weeks after! My class got theirs in the middle of November and despite the questions and the fact that they all knew that they were getting a book, the reactions were priceless. What made me smile the most was the disbelief that they’d just get to take it home and keep it, with more than one of them going up to our librarian and asking, “Do we have to keep renewing this?”. Let’s just hope that they carry on reading as a result!

Garden mural. This was a story I read about a 94-year-old woman in Somerset who had the front of her house painted over as a garden scene, featuring flowers, a lawn and even insects. The woman, Muriel Baker, says that she can’t garden anymore and so the mural on her house makes it seem like she’s living in a garden instead and gives her the enjoyment that she would get from tending one. All round, just a nice story, really.

Running! The final thing that made me smile last month came on the very final day of November. However, it was a ‘smile’ that had been in the making for a full month or so beforehand. On November 30th, I ran the Leeds Abbey Dash, a 10k race in central Leeds, taking us up past Kirkstall Abbey and then back down to Leeds for the finish. Running wise, it was fairly successful. Given prior illness and injury I was more than happy to run it in just over 54 minutes. Even then though, it was only thanks to the staggered start times that I even made it to the start line as the traffic going into Leeds meant that it took me well over and hour to get there. Thus, I missed my actual start time and had to start two times later, if you get what I mean. Still, I couldn’t help but smile given that I’d only managed to complete two 10ks in training – one at 56 minutes and the next at 55 minutes. Sadly, a day later I put my back up reaching down to pick up some washing! Then I picked up some kind of chest infection which is still refusing to budge more than a couple of weeks later. Sometimes, if you don’t just smile at these things, you’d end up crying!

So, there we have it. Proof positive that there’s always something to turn that frown upside down!

Gallowgate Cult Heroes Number 20; Joe Harvey

Time and again it’s said that the word ‘legend’ is overused these days. And it’s right. That bloke down the pub that can stick 6 pickled eggs in his gob at once is not a legend. Reality TV stars are not legends. Put simply, legends are made of sterner stuff and capable of remarkable feats.

In terms of the history of Newcastle United, Joe Harvey is a legend, of that there can be no doubt. Serving the club as both a successful player and manager, Harvey will do down in the history of our club and be talked about long after we’re all gone.

Joe joined Newcastle in 1946, a year after the end of Word War II which had stalled his football career and restricted him to guest appearances for several clubs around the country. A box to box midfielder, Joe would go on to help us win promotion to Division 1 in 1948.

Three years later began a golden period for not only the club in general, but for Harvey’s career. He was the integral and inspirational captain as Newcastle won back to back FA Cups in 1951 and ’52. The team would also have top 5 finishes in in the ’48/49 and 50/51 seasons. Joe was very much a no nonsense kind of player with exacting standards of those around him. As captain he was revered by the squad, who respected him totally. However, they feared him just as much! None other than Jackie Milburn noted that many of the players were petrified of Harvey and that running into him “was like hitting a bag of iron.”

Joe clocked up an impressive 224 appearances before retiring in 1953. He then went on to spend two years at the club as a trainer, while also learning his trade as a coach. In 1954, while still at Newcastle, Harvey took the job as manager of Crook Town and steered them to victory in the FA Amateur Cup. He would continue to work in the lower leagues at both Barrow and Workington before finally getting the Newcastle job in 1961.

Harvey would remain as Newcastle manager until the end of the ’74/’75 season, resigning after a 15th place finish. However, his years as manager cemented his place as a club legend. While in charge he took Newcastle to the 1974 FA Cup final – our first since 1955 – and also assembled teams that included players like John Tudor, Terry Hibbitt, Terry Mcdermott, Frank Clark, Alan Kennedy, David Craig, Wyn Davies, Irving Nattrass and Malcolm MacDonald; so he knew a player when he saw one. He remains the club’s longest serving manager to this day.

Without doubt Harvey’s greatest achievement as manager was in winning the 1969 Inter City Fairs Cup; the last trophy we would win for over 50 years (unless, in more desperate times, you insisted that the Intertoto Cup was also a triumph! I know I did…). So, until last March, Harvey’s triumph was the last shred of real glory that we all had to cling to – some of us for far longer than others!

Harvey’s half time pep talk in the second leg of the final will go down in Toon folklore. It wasn’t a moment of tactical genius. Nor was it some Churchillian battle cry. No, instead Harvey simply walked into the dressing room with his team 2-0 down and started by questioning the long faces. Then, when it was pointed out that they were losing and had been chasing shadows for the last 45 minutes, he told his boys that it was ok – “All you’ve got to do is get a goal and they’ll collapse. Score a goal and they’ll fold like a pack of cards.” And the rest is history. Despite the doubts among the players, Newcastle would score three second half goals and clinch the trophy with an aggregate score of 6-2.

Harvey was back to help the club out in 1980, taking over for a time as caretaker manager after the sacking of Bill McGarry.

Joe Harvey died in February of 1989, just over a year after Jackie Milburn. A plaque was unveiled in Joe’s honour in 2014. It was cleaned and restored some years later and can now be found at the Gallowgate End of the ground. Maybe not the statue that some had called for, but proof still that Harvey will forever be a legend at Newcastle United.

Theatre Review: ‘A Christmas Carol’ at Leeds Playhouse.

It’s bitterly cold and raining heavily on what it turns out is a chaotic night on the roads into Leeds City Centre. As a result, once we’re finally parked, it’s a mad dash across a couple of busy roads and through the theatre in order to just get sat down as the curtain goes up and the music begins to welcome us to the world of Dickens’ London.

On stage, there’s no rain but ‘snow’ is falling and while nothing is chaotic, there’s certainly an all action start to ‘A Christmas Carol’ with plenty going on in Scrooge’s factory. The song – and those that follow – is unexpected, but makes for not only a welcome surprise but an amazing start to the play.

Deborah MacAndrew’s adaptation of this festive favourite is excellent with the opening song and the neon ‘Scrooge and Marley’ sign the first hints that this will definitely be a move away from what we might call the traditional version of the tale. The show is absolutely joyful and a real feast for the senses that will leave you buzzing with festive cheer, not least because of the addition of some of the biggest, brightest and shall we say, interesting Christmas baubles that you’re ever likely to encounter!

As an English teacher, I know what I was expecting. There are only so many times you can read through the novella before you find that you can ‘hear’ the same voices and ‘see’ the same settings and having never seen ‘A Christmas Carol’ on the stage before I found this version more than a refreshing change. That said, when the Ghost of Christmas Carol didn’t sound like Brian Blessed my mind was temporarily blown! The ghosts though are all superb with Claudia Kariuki bringing a real sense of sparkle to the Ghost of Christmas present, while the presentation of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come is quite stunning and might even feature in a few Christmas nightmares in the audience.

The play is set in Leeds and revolves around Scrooge and Marley’s factory in where the workforce toil in a permanent state of fear of their boss, Ebeneezer Scrooge. And then, when he’s visited by the ghost of his old business partner Jacob Marley, we’re taken on a familiar journey towards redemption as the three ghosts show Scrooge what he was, what he is and point him in the direction of what he perhaps should be.

The cast are superb throughout, making even scene changes and scenery shifting some kind of almost balletic event and there’s never a dull moment. Obioma Ugoala is a terrifying Jacob Marley – something else I wasn’t expecting – as well as an appropriately jolly and benevolent Fezziwig, throwing huge amounts of energy into both roles. Meanwhile Danny Colligan is perfect as Fred, the very antithesis of his uncle Ebeneezer. And a word too for Rosie Strobel who does an excellent job of scene stealing as a rather raucous Mrs. Dilber!

Reece Dinsdale is excellent as Scrooge, throwing around Bah Humbugs with an extra large helping of disdain. And then, when the ghosts start to exert their influence he’s appropriately vulnerable and shows signs of humanity that we don’t always associate with Scrooge before his redemption. A fitting performance for such a classic character.

Overall, ‘A Christmas Carol’ is nothing short of a triumph. A fast paced, festive production that will make you laugh, sing, clap along at times and maybe even shed a tear. Having not felt particularly festive going in, I came out pretty much full of Christmas cheer, which for me was about a fortnight early! A cracking Christmas production!

I give ‘A Christmas Carol’…

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Magpie Moments Episode 5

Welcome along to another episode of Magpie Moments where we look at some of the more interesting things that have happened at our beloved club over the years.

Beardsley goes in goal! Yes, you read that right. There was once a game where club legend Peter Beardsley ended up in goal. And that was only a small part of the story. In April, 1986 Newcastle played away at West Ham Utd. We would end up getting beaten 8-1 with the Hammers scoring four in each half. Our cause wasn’t helped when goalkeeper Martin Thomas went off injured and we were forced to put defender Chris Hedworth in nets. These were of course the days of only having one sub and who was wasting that one spot on a keeper? Things would continue to slide downhill though with Hedworth then also getting injured! Up stepped Beardsley to have a go as we battled on with only nine men. It’s safe to say that things didn’t improve! The game was not only memorable for the scoreline and the amount of goalkeepers, but also for the fact that our ‘legendary’ hard man centre forward Billy Whitehurst scored; one of only seven goals he’d manage in black and white. Oh and as if there wasn’t enough going on, Hammers’ centre half Alvin Martin grabbed a hat-trick!

Shearer’s record breaker. If you were there that day I’m sure, like me, you’ll never forget the noise. A guttural roar that started in the toes of every person present and roared out through the throats in celebration of a legendary achievement. A significant piece of black and white history being made right in front of our very eyes. The goal itself was a fairly scrappy affair. A long kick out from Shay Given was met with a flick on by Shearer. The ball arrived at the feet of Shola Ameobi, who just when it looked like he’d lost it, managed to back heel it into the path of the onrushing Shearer, who held off the challenge of Pompey’s Andy O’Brien and toe poked past the keeper. The celebration was true Shearer; arms aloft, fists pumping, screaming at the crowd. Seconds later, the chant of ‘Shearer, Shearer, Shearer’ rang out and felt like it might never stop, until it did. And when it did, and the game kicked off again spontaneous applause broke out. A moment that I’ll take to the grave.

Keegan on the steps of the Milburn reception. Andy Cole remains to this day one of the greatest strikers to ever wear the black and white shirt. There are still many who rank him as their favourite ever player. So when he was sold, seemingly out of the blue, to bitter rivals Man Utd it’s safe to say that it was a bit of a shock. Such was the shock that some fans descended on St. James’ Park where manager Keegan would come out onto the steps to talk to them and try to allay any fears about their team, ambition etc. In a way it was typical Kevin Keegan; wearing his heart on his sleeve and deciding to confront the situation head on. Those supporters had worshipped him as a player and still did as the saviour of the club and the man now in charge of the team. Keegan explained that the playing style had become predictable and stale and so had sold Cole to prompt a change of direction. Evolution rather than revolution. Of course, there had been a falling out between player and manager, but we weren’t to know that at the time. Instead, Keegan spoke with passion and smoothed things over with the fans, gaining a standing ovation for his troubles at the end of it all. Only at Newcastle United!

Keegan on the steps of the Milburn stand

Gallowgate Cult Hero Number 19; Jonas Gutierrez

Sometimes a player comes to Newcastle and just gets it. Not just the club, but the city, the region, the people. Malcolm Macdonald, Shay Given, Ryan Taylor and more recently Bruno and Joelinton are all good examples. As managers Kevin Keegan, Rafa Benitez and Eddie Howe are great examples of this. And it’s one of Keegan’s signings that seems to have also fallen in love with not only the club, but the city and the people. Gallowgate Cult Hero number 18 is Jonas Gutierrez.

Gutierrez was signed from Real Mallorca in July of 2008. Newcastle had thought that they could get him on the cheap due to him buying out his own contract – not like Mike Ashley to be sourcing that kind of deal, I know – but in the end the fee was decided by tribunal and cost Newcastle a few million more than was originally expected. But the Argentinian international proved to be a bit of a bargain in the end.

Jonas was known for celebrating goals by wearing a spiderman mask and promised that this would continue with his first goal for the Toon. However, despite scoring in November, the mask wouldn’t make an appearance until he scored in the 6-1 home drubbing of Barnsley in the following March. And it was a fitting strike too – a cracking 25 yard drive that went in off the underside of the crossbar.

Gutierrez was a winger who could play on either side. He was often skilful and an asset to the team going forward. But it was probably his enthusiasm and work rate that made him so popular with the fans. Jonas was a grafter, pressing defenders before it was trendy and tracking back like his life depended on it. As we all know though, his first season with the Toon wasn’t to be successful as we were ultimately relegated. Many thought that the likes of Gutierrez and Coloccini would be off. Instead, both decided to stay and fight for the club.

It was probably here that Jonas cemented his place in the hearts of many supporters. As we all know, we were promoted as champions at the end of that season and Gutierrez stood out in that promotion season. However, on our return to the Premier League he found himself competing with Hatem Ben Arfa for a place in the team and invariable lost out. He still managed to make several valuable contributions though as we pushed ourselves into a 5th place finish under Alan Pardew.

Undeterred, Jonas kept working hard and proving his importance to the squad. The spectacular goals continued as did that undeniable work rate. And then, in early 2013 doctors discovered that Jonas had a testicular tumour, which would be operated on at the end of the season in his native Argentina.

Post surgery as he was loaned out to Norwich it looked like his Toon career was over and that as a club, we hadn’t really bothered to look after him. And yet, with the loan move largely unsuccessful, Jonas returned and came on as a sub against Man Utd at the back end of the 2014 – 2015 season, given the captain’s armband as he took to the field to a hero’s reception. But the best was yet to come.

Going into the final game of that season against West Ham at home we needed a win to guarantee staying up. Gutierrez was the star. Firstly he put the cross in for Moussa Sissoko to head the opener, but then in the 85th minute, he cut in off the left hand side and sent a scorching grasscutter into the back of the Gallowgate net via a slight deflection. Cue absolute hysteria!

That celebration will stay with us Geordies, as it will with Jonas, for many years. First with the shirt spinning above has head and then the iconic shirtless pose in front of the Director’s Box, cupping his ears and screaming in their general direction. Newcastle were safe, but more importantly, Jonas had beaten cancer and taken some sort of retribution out on Mike Ashley. This would be his last goal and last appearance for the club.

Jonas still talks fondly of his time on Tyneside and seems to be a regular visitor to the city. In his own words he feels “like a Geordie” and speaks with nothing but warmth about the club, the city and the fans. He was even seen busking at Greys Monument in recent months! Jonas Gutierrez; the very epitome of the saying, ‘once a Geordie, always a Geordie.’

Running: It’s been a funny old year.

When I say ‘it’s been a funny old year’, it’s not been funny at all. For the first couple of months of 2025 I was struggling to shake off the effects of a bug I’d had over Christmas and New year and it just felt like I wasn’t making any progress at all. Running was no fun whatsoever.

By March I’d managed enough training to complete the Wakefield 10k in a reasonable enough time to keep me happy. It went better than I’d imagined it would and that was more than enough. I resolved to get out training and get my fitness levels back up to where they’d been a couple of years before. This had been around the time of having my pacemaker fitted, when strangely enough I’d been the fittest I’d been in decades and was running well, producing faster and faster times week in week out.

Sadly, as this year has progressed, things didn’t particularly change. There was little or no upturn in fortune or fitness and injury followed illness followed injury. If I got really lucky I’d be ill while carrying an injury!

Since March I think I’ve managed to run less than ten 10ks. Only one was in a race; the Leeds 10k which as ever was thoroughly enjoyable. The ones I’ve managed to complete in training have been slow and gruelling. Mostly though, I’ve been restricted to shorter distances with the odd bit of strength work thrown in for good measure. But even the resistance bands have fallen by the wayside. It’s been hard to stay motivated when I’ve been full of cold, feeling sick or nursing my back through a week at work, hoping that it doesn’t just ping and leave me in a world of pain. This happened in August and left me struggling to walk, let alone run! Not content with feeling that it had strained a little in the morning, in the evening I thought that it would be a good idea to start moving heavy bags around only to find that the ‘ping’ happened with the first attempted lift. Absolute agony!

I managed to find renewed motivation going back to work in September as I trained hard to be ready for my local 10k. I’d started off trying to run some quick 5ks before building up distances. Towards the end of September I realised that I hadn’t had my race number through for the 10k that was taking place at the beginning of October. Checking my emails revealed no confirmation though and then the penny dropped; I hadn’t actually entered. I took it as a sign. Still struggling to gain any momentum or fitness I decided just to take my time and train steadily towards the next 10k at the end of November, giving me loads of time to get sharp and ready for a race that is relatively flat and known for the chance it gives for personal bests.

Even then, things just wouldn’t go right. A couple of weeks ago I injured my foot and still have no idea how I did it. One minute I was walking along fine and the next it hurt to put my foot on the ground. That lasted a week before gradually getting better!

Over the last week I’ve been able to get in two runs; a 4 mile and a 5 mile. Neither was hugely quick, but I’m happy to have miles in the legs and on my 5 miler I have to say, I felt strong.

Hopefully, this is the start of just being able to get out running regularly. I managed to get out for a run on our recent holiday in Mallorca, even though I’d planned to go out twice…illness again. I love the change of scenery though and the fact that I can get straight into the pool once I’ve finished, so even just the one run is a bonus! Now, back in chilly England, I’ve got around a couple of weeks to get myself race ready. Maybe there can be a decent ending to my running year yet!

Wish me luck!