Tag: football

Ed & Jase’s Sunday Night Takeaway!

Five things we can take away from the Carabao Cup Final.

It didn’t end the way that we all wanted it to, but last Sunday, however you watched the game, was a one that will live long in the memory. Once I’d stopped sulking I wrote a few things down about what we might take away from our Carabao Cup final. So, for what it’s worth, here you go.

  1. We’ve arrived. If we didn’t know it already, we’re kind of a big deal nowadays. It’s not that we haven’t been a big club before Sunday and it’s not like we weren’t getting noticed. But Sunday’s Carabao Cup Final appearance will have made a big difference. It’s not because of the performance on the pitch because while we were OK, we didn’t pull up any trees and certainly didn’t play to our potential. What will have made people sit up and take a bit of notice is first of all, the fact that we made it to a final. We were there. The effort put in by our fans will have been difficult to ignore too and I imagine that images of the black and white flags around Wembley, as well as the events around Trafalgar Square on Saturday night, will have gone right around the world. I mean, who could ignore a gazebo in a sea of black and white at a major London landmark? Sunday at Wembley will have been noted by potential sponsors, by kids around the world and by potential transfer targets and who knows; maybe some time in the next 10 years or so, when we sign some superstar wonderkid, they’ll be telling reporters about not about watching ‘Goal’ but about watching Twitter videos of fans coming off trains at Kings’ Cross singing about ‘that team we call United’ and thinking, I’d love to be a part of that some day.
  2. Our city has pride again. I’m no longer a resident of Newcastle, haven’t been for years. But it’ll always be home, always be my home town. And watching fans at Wembley, listening to players speak of their desire and their pride had me close to tears. Make no mistake about it, Sunday was a big deal despite what some will tell you about a Mickey Mouse cup, and we can be proud of every last minute. We’ve gone from being the laughing stock of football during the Ashley years to being a team, a club and a city that absolutely matters. We’re a talking point again and we’re competing in meaningful games at the top level of English football. Even the stupidest of mackems can’t deny that.
  3. The team have gained vital big game experience. It’s an obvious thing to say, but this team has come a long way in a very short space of time. And while the likes of Kieran Trippier have been there and done it, when you have a look around the squad there’s not a lot of that kind of thing knocking about. Some have made appearances at World Cups and Euros, but in terms of club football, big game experience is lacking. While the game itself clearly didn’t go to plan, the all round experience will be invaluable to our players. From young kids being around the squad for the week of build up to those players who got minutes at Wembley, it’s money in the bank so to speak. Let’s not forget the management team too, the majority of whom haven’t had such unique experience before. Eddie Howe’s notebooks will be like the complete works of Shakespeare after that one! There should be no doubt whatsoever that we’ll be back playing in big games in the near future. Now though, we’ll be armed with a bit more knowledge and a bit more experience and I feel sure that it will be vital in making a difference.
  4. The squad needs investment. Manchester United boasted game changers with genuine quality in their eleven. De Gea, Martinez, Casemiro, Varane, Fernandes and Rashford all just had a little bit too much for us on Sunday. Even their bench had real quality sat there watching. And Harry Maguire. Meanwhile, we might well have ‘Bruno in the middle’ but genuine star quality is a little thin on the ground. What we have is a good Premier League eleven that are overperforming. Don’t get me wrong, we have some fantastic footballers in Tripps, Maxi, Miggy, Isak etc, but six of our starters were at the club during the Ashley years. Some of the squad were part of our Championship winning squad. These are players that have been outstanding for the club and they’re players that we love. And while I still don’t wish to deviate from the ‘evolution not revolution’ stance and have no problem with what Eddie Howe and the ownership are doing, it’s clear that more quality is needed.
  5. We have to move on. For what it’s worth I thought we played reasonably well on Sunday. There were chances missed, blocks made and a little bit of bad luck going the other way. I mean, I think the better side won, but you’ll never convince that first goal was onside. You could make the VAR screen look like a child’s Etch-a-Sketch and I still wouldn’t say it was onside. Nor was it a free kick in the first place. What’s important now is that we move on quickly. There can be no hangover. Not with the likes of Fulham, Brighton and Liverpool chasing us and Spurs within touching distance in fourth place. Personally, I don’t want to settle for finishing 6th or 7th having also had a cup final appearance. I happen to think we’re better than that. I don’t think the players will sulk, but I hope some of our bigger hitters start grabbing games by the scruff of the neck now and pushing for one of those Champions’ League places. I hope that days like Sunday have whetted a few appetites.
  6. Can someone have a word with Loris Karius about those gloves please? I wasn’t concerned about his past mistakes. I didn’t dwell on the fact that it looked like he could have saved their second goal. But sweet Jesus, I couldn’t get those gloves out of my head. It looked like he was playing in the kind of driving gloves last seen in the 70s or on the hands of present day octogenarians as they drive incredibly slowly to the shops. Brown bloody gloves? We might have got beat, but Manchester United should hang their heads in shame at the fact that only scored twice against a bloke that looked like he’d borrowed his gloves from Alan Partridge.

Let’s hope that we get Sunday out of our systems as quickly and that we can and end the season as strongly as possible. It’s been a hell of a season so far and I really hope we can keep on putting noses out of joint!

Howay The Lads!

The Carabao Cup Final: Let’s get positive!

Who would have thought it? Who would have imagined that we’d have travelled so far in such a short space of time? But, we have indeed come a long way and it’s fair to say that it’s been an amazing journey to be even a small part of.

When the takeover finally happened in October ’21, we all dreamed of something fantastic for our club. Just different levels of amazing, I suppose. While some fans imagined the signings of Messi and Mbappe, others dared to dream that we might, just might, see a trophy in our lifetime. Whatever level you dreamed at, we were all just happy to wait and see.

Sunday’s game, whatever your dream, gives us all something to get excited about. Forget the lack of our first choice goalkeeper, forget the opposition and their current form and forget our current habit of creating a ton of chances that we don’t seem able to finish. Sunday’s game is the stuff of dreams and it’s massively important that we throw everything we’ve got at it, both as a fanbase and as a team.

It could be argued that this final is a bit of a shock. Certainly, in terms of Eddie’s mantra of ‘evolution not revolution’ it’s arrived ahead of schedule. But that can’t be used as a reason for us as a fanbase getting our excuses in early. For me, expectations need to be high. This team has come together quickly and surprised lots of us and lots of people in football, but they’ve also proved themselves. Sunday is not just a free hit because we didn’t really expect it; we’ve earned the right to be there and it’s very much a game that we can win.

In our last two cup finals – the FA Cups of ’98 and ’99 – we flopped. Both times, the team looked overawed by the occasion and wilted against better opposition. Both teams contained enough quality to do a great deal better and yet both failed miserably. This year has to be different. Lots of us were devastated by those late 90s failures. I remember being rendered particularly speechless by the defeat in 1999. I remember beforehand, holding a genuine belief that we would win. Not could win it, but would win it. Of course, we didn’t. We were poor, passive, passengers, behind early and never really in the game at all.

I can’t imagine this team being anything less than 100% prepared. Eddie has proved time and again over the last year or so just how far he’s prepared to go to make sure that the team is ready. When he joined the club we were amazed and excited by simple things like his his early starts and active role at training. It was the least we could ask really, but compared to the previous regime’s habits with days off and openly admitting to a lack of interest in tactics, Howe and his team were a revelation; something to grab onto. And that has continued throughout this season to the point we’re at now and a visit to Wembley.

There are positives wherever you look in the squad. A defence that is among the best in Europe. Players playing with a renewed enthusiasm and style in Miggy, Joelinton, Sean Longstaff and Fabian Schar. The return of Bruno, possibly the best midfielder any one of us have witnessed in black and white. The maverick genius of Alain Saint Maximin, who in the last game looked back to his scintillating best. And up front, the choice of either Callum Wilson or Alexander Isak. We’re no mugs and we’re certainly not going there just to make up the numbers. We have a chance, and not just a puncher’s chance either. We can cause any opposition trouble.

I’ve never been an optimistic Toon fan. I think that type of thing was knocked out of me very early on in my life as a supporter. Even when Keegan came along – as a player and a manager – I’d still expect us to lose or I’d worry more about the opposition than anything. I’m still the same, because I think it’s ingrained in lots of us. But for this weekend I refuse to have anything but the utmost faith in this team. This Sunday, I choose positives over negatives.

Recently, Eddie Howe said this: “I believe we can win any game against any team, home or away, if we’re absolutely at our best and I think we’ve proved that this season. We believe the power is in our hands and it’s up to us to perform at our best levels.” No mention of anyone else’s strength. Just Newcastle United’s. I’m with Eddie!

If you’re there on Sunday, sing your hearts out, back the team as usual. If you’re watching on the telly, enjoy it. What an occasion for our club, so soon after many of us had lost almost all hope. Fingers crossed we can bring that trophy home because it’s been a hell of a long wait!

HOWAY THE LADS!

The Second Coming of Miggy Almiron.

I’ll be the first to admit that I was beginning to think he didn’t have it in him. I’d seen the jibes by fans of much smaller, insignificant clubs referring to him as things like Forrest Gump and was starting to wonder if they might have a bit of a point. As each game passed where he didn’t assist or score, I reviewed my previous backing of a player who I welcomed with open – and metaphorical – arms when he first arrived at the club. He seemed to be without any confidence whatsoever and whenever chances arrived and whatever they looked like, it felt like Miggy would squander them.

Yet, through it all there were positives. Miggy had things going for him. That ever available smile was good currency with us fans. Personally, I loved the fact that when he ran there were times when he was like a nodding dog, as if when he nodded his head, however involuntarily, it was giving him added energy. He does a thing where he’s between a trot and a gallop – a trallop? – in order to make sure that he’s first in line for the press…as well as the second and third at times. Again, this makes me smile and helps to show the urgency he feels to help the team.

I’ve always been a fan of the slimmer, more diminutive players, given my own stick-like build. I think I speak for a lot of Toon fans when I say that with Miggy, despite any doubts, I was 100% on his side and really, really didn’t want him to fail.

I’ve got history with the underdogs who’ve worn the black and white shirt. Darren Jackson was a personal favourite. As my dad would say, “more fat on a greasy chip” but he was a player that I loved instantly. We looked similar, so getting mistaken for him a couple of times during his time at the club helped! The same applied to Michael O’Neill – bought for a pittance, stick thin and with that hint of flair and determination that had me rooting for him, despite never really producing the goods consistently. Kevin Brock was another hero. And God knows I was beyond desperate for Kevin Dillon to score for us, despite growing evidence that not only was he a mackem, but he was shite as well!

So, watching Miggy have his break out season this year, in what is now his 5th season at the club, has been nothing short of wonderful.

Everyone must have read or heard the statistic that when he’d scored 9 goals earlier this season, Miggy had got as many as he had in the previous four seasons. In a way, it’s a pretty damning stat. Although Almiron’s chief job isn’t to score goals you’d have expected him to score more than he had. Personally, I thought that the floodgates would at least be left ajar after he scored his first Toon goal in December 2019 against Crystal Palace. And I reckon most of the fans in attendance would have imagined the same. But it didn’t and he would manage only 3 more goals that season. It’s been a trickle on the goals front ever since from a player who I personally would have expected to be pushing for double figures every year.

I wrote an article about Almiron when he signed. I couldn’t wait to see him play, because the snippets of him I’d seen on YouTube coupled with the things I’d read from fans of Atlanta Utd, made me think that we were getting something very special. I normally wouldn’t have got carried away with things like YouTube clips, but this was deep into Mike Ashley’s era and signing Almiron for what may or may not have been a club record, depending on what you believed, had the same impact on me as if we’d somehow cloned peak Maradona and signed him!

Miguel Almiron: A New Hope?

In preparing to write this I read back through that first article and a few things stood out. Firstly, I said ‘with fingers firmly crossed, I’d say we’ve bought a proper player’. I mean, it took some time, but I was proved right, eh?! Like a proper pundit! And as if to add to my application for Soccer Saturday (or maybe just my very own self important YouTube channel to go with all the others) I also said ‘for any player coming into a fight such as ours there will always be a question mark’. Spooky. And it was a question mark that lasted – however faintly it was written – for a few years. Almiron clearly struggled for any sort of consistency for a while and suffered – as most did – under Bruce.

I couldn’t help but wonder if things could have turned out differently sooner for Almiron. If you remember his debut there was that moment at the Gallowgate after he’d been played through on goal and he dinked the ball past the keeper, but onto the base of the post. Would a goal on debut have boosted his confidence enough for us to see the kind of player we’re now watching a few years earlier ? We’ll never know, but certainly his debut performance hinted at the player that was eventually to come. And then I suppose we should ask whether Miggy’s progress was stunted by Rafa Benitez’s over cautious ‘short blanket’ approach. Certainly, if you take his willingness to make runs into the box this season as anything to go by, then you’d have to say yes. There wasn’t a great deal of that type of thing under Rafa. That’s not knocking Rafa, but I wonder if it was more Miggy’s work rate that was the attraction in the first place.

Miggy’s rebirth has been a joy to behold. The smile has returned to his face and he seems to have a particular affinity for playing alongside Bruno. Long may it continue! He seems to be continuously making forward runs in the hope of grabbing another goal and it’s an appetite that never fades.

For me though, the moment that showed that Almiron was a player reborn came as he scored what proved to be the winner against Tottenham at their place in October of last year. If you remember, the ball is nodded down to Miggy out on the right hand side, about 30 yards from goal. He’s actually fouled twice as he runs through a couple of different challenges and in my opinion, the Miggy of a couple of years back would have thrown himself to the floor under either of the challenges. But he doesn’t. I remember screaming for him to pull the ball back across goal because we had numbers in the box, but no, Miggy simply scooped it over Lloris to score. Clearly, confidence was key and for me the main reason for this must be Eddie and his staff.

If memory serves me right, Bruce called Almiron ‘a manager’s dream’ and he was right, although how I remember this when Bruce’s words would invariably send me to sleep, I’m not sure. Typing out that Steve Bruce was right was pretty hard too! But Miggy is a manager’s dream. Hard working, positive, a good level of football intelligence and a willingness to work for the team. It’s a shame that Bruce couldn’t inspire a great deal from the player other than hard work, but a relief that Eddie Howe has come in and seemingly tweaked one or two things in his game and worked wonders, unearthing the player that lurked within.

At the moment, Miggy is Newcastle’s top scorer this year, with 9 goals. Not bad for a winger who does more than his fair share of defensive work. A decent proportion of those goals have been absolute beauties too. His goal against Fulham won him the Premier League Goal of the Month for October. He also claimed the Player of The Month prize for the same month. But then there were his goals against Everton, Spurs and Aston Villa, as well as his diving chest finish at home versus Manchester City!

I think a lot of credit for Miggy’s rejuvenation lies with Kieran Trippier, another player who he’s linked up brilliantly with. You can see that Tripps talks Miggy through games and I feel sure that there’s been a lot of advice imparted on the training ground too. He’s encouraged to make those marauding runs and if he’s not getting through on goal he’s making life hell for defenders.

It’s great to see Almiron thriving. He’s just the kind of lad that you almost can’t fail to want the best for. The infectious smile, the willingness to work for the team and the sheer quality of some of the finishes, especially this season, all combine to make him a fan favourite. When Eddie Howe first came in I’m sure there were lots of us who could have seen Miggy leaving, especially given the financial muscle that the takeover promised. So, it’s brilliant to see that he’s survived. He clearly loves the club and I think the club, including us supporters love him right back.

As we move into the second half of the season, with a Wembley final to come, it would be brilliant to see his form continue. Having ended his mini goal drought on Saturday night against Bournemouth with his 10th of the season, I’d hope this means that we’ve got a few more to come. And wouldn’t it be nice to see him get back amongst the goals at Wembley! Perhaps the biggest stage there could be for everyone’s favourite Paraguayan to be grinning from ear to ear and screaming “Gooooaaaallll!” like a madman!

A Few Words on Anthony Gordon.

So, after a bit of a wait and a great deal of disagreement among our fanbase, the signing of Anthony Gordon from Everton was announced on Sunday.

While we were linked with the player – both in Summer and in this January window – there were a lot of dissenting voices. It seemed that the experts among our fans knew better than Messrs Howe, Nickson and Ashworth in terms of the player’s ability, temperament, potential and even his looks and fashion sense.

For what it’s worth I’m very much in favour of this transfer. I think he’s a fantastic player and one I’d rather have in our squad than a one we have to face. So, if you take it at face value, what have we bought? Firstly, a young English Premier League player. Gordon has in fact made just under 80 appearances for Everton, 65 of which have come in the league. So, he has experience; not a vast amount, but valuable experience, all the same. For a little bit of context, Sean Longstaff has just over 120 appearances (98 in the league) and Gabriel Martinelli at Arsenal, 111 (78 in the league). Both would be classed as established Premier League players and Gordon isn’t exactly a million miles behind them.

I’ve read a lot of comments on social media referencing the fact that there is better value to be had, but does that value come with the amount of first team, Premier League experience? If we buy from abroad, then no it doesn’t. And I still don’t believe that the people who recommend these players on social media have even seen them play!

Given what we perceive to be a Newcastle tax as well as an English player tax, I think the fee isn’t bad value at all. Yes, £40m is a ridiculous amount of money, but not in the present climate. Again, we’ve payed a realistic fee, keeping to our stance of evolution not revolution.

In terms of his ability, I really don’t understand the doubt. As far as I can see, he’s a very talented footballer. He’s not afraid to take on a defender, he’s got the odd trick and he’s got a goal in him. Furthermore, in keeping with the demands of the modern game, he seems to have the kind of tactical awareness that helps him sense danger from the other team as well as a chance of nicking the ball when on the attack. He tracks back, covers his defender and can pass. Add in the magic ingredient of Eddie Howe and his team and I think we’re signing a player who will only get better and better. The lad is going to be a real crowd pleaser in my opinion, whether he’s played on the left, right or down the middle.

Gordon’s pace is an obvious asset. Put simply, he’s one of the fastest players in the history of the Premier League. I’m not sure why we’d be too opposed to that. So again, what is it that people want? It’s not as if he’s like an Adama Traore type player where there’s pace to burn but it would seem nowhere near enough end product. And again, I’d hope with the kind of coaching that he’s going to get on a daily basis, his crossing and his assists will improve greatly and Eddie will find a way to exploit the pace that Frank Lampard couldn’t.

For me personally, whenever we’ve played Everton in the past couple of years, Anthony Gordon has felt like the only real danger. When they beat us last season at Goodison – and frankly, we threw that one away – Gordon was excellent, playing centrally in behind Richarlison and looking like a constant danger. Even when we beat them at home this season he looked their likeliest threat and certainly ruffled a few Toon feathers. By the looks of some of the photos I’ve seen online however, all has been forgiven!

It was good to see Anthony wearing a pair of black trousers in the photos that emerged of him at St. James’ Park on Saturday. It didn’t bother me, but I hoped that it would appease the readers of Italian Vogue in our fanbase, who seem to have been outraged at the lad’s pair of brown patchwork strides shown in a photo from summer. It certainly seemed to be a major reason why so many disapproved in our interest in the player, so hopefully his choice of what looked like a black, slim fit trouser put minds at rest.

In all seriousness, it amazes me what becomes a concern for some people. The lad is 21 and most likely already a millionaire; he’s probably not going to dress like your average football fan. Why people are taking such offence is beyond me. As long as, when he’s wearing that black and white shirt, he’s giving everything, I don’t care if he wants to dress up like Mr. Tumble occasionally.

There’s also been criticism of the way he looks, with our own fans posting memes of people like Claire Balding and Ellen DeGeneres photoshopped into a Toon shirt. While I’m sure some of this has just been lighthearted, I feel certain that some are doing it because they’re so opposed to the signing. The weird behaviour of the modern football fan, eh?

Finally, it appears like lots of people didn’t want Gordon to sign because of his temperament. They just didn’t fancy this snarling, angry young man representing our club. I say, let’s have more of it. Play with that anger and fire every time you pull on the shirt, lad! Many have pointed to our signing of Craig Bellamy, in order to validate the Gordon deal. He was horrible at times, wasn’t he? But what a player! Bellamy was one of my favourite players to ever wear the shirt. And he wasn’t the only player we’ve had in recent history with a bit of a temper or who could be perceived to be some sort of trouble. Hatem Ben Arfa had a real attitude problem, Laurent Robert too, Bowyer started a fight with his own team mate and Asprilla was absolutely bonkers! All of them gave everything for the shirt and all of them entertained. All of them, also, had the backing of the crowd.

We revel in what we term ‘shithousing’ and then complain when we sign a player that we might well label a shithouse! It beggars belief. Anyway, none of it matters – he’s our shithouse now and I say welcome to The Toon, young man! Let’s get behind him and leave the rest to the player himself and of course, Eddie Howe! I for one, think he’s going to be a genuine success.

Another FA Cup nightmare: About last night…

If you’re a Newcastle fan of a certain vintage, you’ll have half expected that result last night. Similarly, if you’re of a certain mindset when it comes to our club, nothing really shocks you anymore. So crashing out of the FA Cup in an early round to lower league opposition is all part of the deal really. But it doesn’t make it any more palatable.

If the truth be told, I’m gutted. In fact, I’m almost thankful for my present health worries, otherwise I’d have really fixated on what we all watched unfold last night. At least I’ve got genuinely better, more important things to think about, even if they are a right royal pain in the arse.

I love the FA Cup though. Despite the many changes over the years, for me it still feels special. Newcastle United have played a big part in the history and the drama of the cup over the years, with a chunk of that being hugely positive. In my lifetime though, it’s been largely negative and at times it’s felt like a competition where we actively strive to plumb new depths. As I said, I was gutted to go out early again.

Last night was the just latest in a long list of underwhelming episodes. After all, we’ve won only four of our last ten third round ties with three of those victories coming after replays. It’s not even a new phenomenon for Eddie Howe, having watched his team go out with a whimper this time last year against Cambridge United. And oh, how football fans loved that one as the ‘richest club in the world’ were beaten by a team where the city is more well known for its university than anything else.

For me, there’s no need for anger after this latest failure. Embarrassment, yes but no point in getting irate and filming yourself shouting at a phone or a webcam all red faced, sweary and reduced to making noises rather than forming sentences. Please, leave that to fans of Arsenal or Everton or that daft mackem that dresses like an 11=year=old and spends lots of time in his videos with his head in his hands making noises like a tortured animal. If you insist on being that Toon fan though, then maybe up your life insurance premium and do some reading about heart health. Shouting and screaming like a child isn’t going to change what is really just a bump in the road.

Eddie Howe said that he thought “the performance was ok” and was of the opinion that we had more than enough chances to win the game. He was right, as he is most of the time. We had a number of good chances that on another night we would have converted and gone home happy. It’s still a worry that we missed so many sitters though. It was the same story against Leeds and to a lesser extent Arsenal and it’s to be hoped that it doesn’t continue.

For me, a bigger worry was the passing. We gave the ball away far too much and wasted possession on a number of occasions. Given that we made eight changes that might be expected, but changed team or not, these players train together every day and most of those who came into the side have been regularly involved this season. It wasn’t like Eddie had thrown a load of kids in. Even the bench looked solid last night and personally I’d have liked to have seen the likes of Turner Cooke and Stephenson given another chance. However, as the coach of an Under 14 team that are currently bottom of their league with no points and a heavily negative goal difference, I have no wish to offer Eddie Howe and Jason Tindall any footballing advice whatsoever. If only certain NUFC related Twitter accounts would take note…

A few players stood out and strengthened the argument for greater squad depth. And while not wishing to dig people out and come across like one of the ‘I told you so’ brigade that lurk around every corner of social media, it’d be remiss of me not to mention them.

I love Matt Ritchie. He’s been my favourite player since Nobby Solano and I think he’s been absolutely vital for the survival of the club in recent years. He’s one of those lads that’s come in and shown that he gets it. He understands the fans and loves the club. However, his presence in the starting eleven last night was indicative of our lack of depth. I actually thought his performance was pretty solid, but having steeled myself for his departure over the last few windows, I was surprised to see him starting.

It’s a similar story with Jacob Murphy. I actually rate him and I think he’s done well when called upon this season. Last night was pretty much an abomination from him though. He just didn’t seem to be able to do anything right. It felt like he gave the ball away far too much and as ever there was a huge question over his decision making with him repeatedly hanging onto the ball for a few seconds too long when there was an obvious pass just yards away. As for his finishing, let’s just say last night wasn’t his first rodeo in terms of missed one on ones. He was a young player that promised much when he signed. He’s not anymore and I for one haven’t a clue where his future lies.

Jamal Lewis was another that promised much when he signed. And while I have sympathy for a player that was so obviously ruined by the previous regime and its emphasis on neglecting training and tactics in favour of days off, it saddens me to say that he just doesn’t look good enough. The lad just looks terrified every time he sets foot on the pitch and it’s just not working out for him as a Newcastle player. I thought he might turn into one of those players that Eddie performed an Eddie miracle on, but sadly, it doesn’t look likely. And if he can’t cut it against League one opposition, then he’s never going to cut the mustard.

I was also disappointed with Elliot Anderson last night, but I firmly believe that his time will come as he seems to have obvious quality. Prior to the game I’d read some of Eddie’s comments about Anderson and the fact that he’s had niggling injuries and illness this season and maybe that was exactly what we watched last night; a player struggling for consistency in a stop start season.

And then there was the elephant in the room: Chris Wood. I’m not keen to say anything too bad and his history in the Premier League suggests that there’s a player in there, but maybe we all have to admit that he’s not got the quality we’re going to need if this team is to keep evolving. It feels like there’s a glaring miss from him with every appearance and perhaps it’s a confidence issue. But perhaps that’s just me being kind for the sake of it. Last night’s glaring miss felt horrible and on the end of a sweeping move like that one was, what you want is a clinical finisher. It wasn’t a particularly difficult finish and if we really are going to win something in the next few years – or ever again – then we need a quality of player that doesn’t miss sitters like that.

So, when push comes to shove, last night just wasn’t good enough. But a bit of perspective is clearly needed here and thankfully I’m not the only one who can remind you that we’re still in the Quarter Final of the Carabao Cup and that we’re third in the league (third, man!) and firmly in the hunt for a place in Europe next season. Everything about our club is on the up, everyone is together and we are at the very start of what promises to be an exciting future. Sheffield Wednesday pretty much deserved the win. Let’s leave it at that, not get too down and look forward to what’s still to come.

Eddie’s Mags: About last night…

Tuesday January 3rd 2023 might well go down in footballing history. Newcastle fans may well remember it for the fact that we kept our sixth clean sheet in a row, with Nick Pope equalling the club record for such a feat. We might also remember it for the fact that we gained a hard earned point against an Arsenal side who many are beginning to view as serious title contenders.

Apparently though, according to a lot of what I’ve read online and to an extent from the reaction of Sky pundits last night, football fans will remember last night as the night that Newcastle United invented what some will refer to as shithousing, others will label cheating and a few will term game-management. And let’s not forget that it was also the night that Dan Burn single-handedly (pardon the pun) invented shirt pulling.

In fact, what actually seems to have happened is that we put yet more noses out of joint. Once again, we kept up our record of not rolling over in the face of one of the top clubs (you know, the ones that didn’t want to stay in this league not so long ago). We showed grit, determination and grafted like tigers. And yes, we employed some tactics that you might say weren’t in the spirit of the game, but then who doesn’t do that these days? I’ve watched football for a long time and if someone’s going to tell me that shirt pulling doesn’t happen at corners, goalkeepers don’t regularly take their time with goal kicks and that players don’t bend the ear of refs in order to gain an advantage, then I’d seriously question their eyesight.

It can’t be that we can happily let Manchester City get away with those ‘tactical fouls’ we’ve all heard about. We can’t just be expected to allow the likes of Salah and Kane to throw themselves to the floor at even the hint of a touch from an opposing player. And you surely can’t believe that VAR should consistently favour the bigger clubs and that pressure can only be put on refs and fourth officials by a select group of managers and players?

Last night, Newcastle United did the kind of things that teams have been getting away with for a long, long time. I know that some of our fans were outraged at Leeds doing it against us just the other day too, but they need to approach the season with a little more realism as well. Everyone does it. We’ve had to grind out results for a long time now. Pardew’s teams did it, as did Rafa’s. And let’s not forget that it was Plan A, B and C for Steve Bruce as well as for Dalglish and Sounness on a regular basis.

Before the game, I think many fans and pundits imagined that Arsenal would make quick work of us. They’d put us in our place. And that feeling would have increased substantially given how quickly they started the game. But we defended like…well, we defended like Newcastle United this season. It was funny to hear Dan ‘ShirtPuller’ Burn intimating that we can’t be expected to just let big clubs beat us because that must be exactly how a lot of us fans feel. Before kick off, Sky reminded us that we’d been beaten 7-3 at the Emirates not too long ago. Plucky Newcastle, having a go and getting precisely nothing out of the game, then being laughed at for conceding seven. I think I prefer the kind of team display that got us a point last night. It was a joy to watch. Sorry, Arsenal fans.

Let’s not forget that Arsenal committed their fair share of fouls. Dan Burn was furious that we weren’t awarded a penalty when his shirt was pulled and he was hauled to the ground in the box in the first half. This of course, was highly mysterious, given that Dan himself hadn’t even invented shirt-pulling yet. Our law abiding opposition also picked up a number of yellow cards, with Granit Xhaka being fortunate to stay on the field after one foul too many. Lucky for him that the ref had lost the plot a good while previously.

If these big clubs and top teams are so good though, they’ll surely be able to play through whatever they’re faced with. Yet, I don’t remember Arsenal cutting through us too much last night. Nick Pope made one save of note, our defenders made blocks, but that is simply a group of footballers doing their jobs, surely? Having watched a bit of Arsenal this season the song they sing about centre half William Saliba hasn’t escaped my attention. Do they sing that on repeat because he’s a good defender who defends well or just because his name fits a song and they’re happy enough to pat themselves on the back because they think they’re funny?

As it happens, Eddie’s Mags showed a side we actually all knew about last night. Six clean sheets on the bounce and the meanest defence in the league suggests that defensively, we’re very good. We haven’t just defended well against Arsenal. We’ve defended well everywhere we’ve been this season. So the outrage that I’ve seen online this morning and on the touchline last night is laughable really. They said that Eddie Howe couldn’t organise a defence and now that it seems they were wrong and that he can, those same people are crying. Grow up.

What happened last night was that one team adapted to get something from the game, while the other team didn’t. No outrage required.

Newcastle United: What did the takeover ever do for us?

As I write, it’s been almost a year since our beloved Newcastle United was taken over by the Saudi PIF group, Amanda Staveley, Mehrdad Ghodoussi and the Reubens brothers. Almost a year since #cans became a reality. So naturally, and I imagine like many, many others, I found myself sitting reflecting.

I think we’d all share the view that it’s been an incredible year. And while there have been some nay sayers and doom merchants, I’d prefer to just file them under the headings of either ‘Idiots’ or ‘Attention Seekers’. So, if you’re sitting there still quietly seething at the fact that we haven’t bought Haaland, Mbappe or Neymar or even that we didn’t just fund the invention of robot footballers so we could win the league by Christmas, this isn’t the blog for you. Maybe shout down and tell your mam to get a wriggle on with your tea or do something else that you class as productive. Anything that makes you feel right, I suppose.

So, what did this takeover ever do for us then?

Well, I think the first thing we got was hope. As the saying went, ‘we don’t demand a team that wins, just a club that tries’. It was never all that much to ask really, was it? Surely the whole point of any sporting club is that it tries to compete? And yet, for 14 years we clearly didn’t have that. Cup competitions were deemed a waste of time and the stock line that came – infrequently – out of the club was that our season was about survival and that we couldn’t compete.

The takeover changed all that. And while the talk is quite rightly of evolution, not revolution, it would be easy to argue that after so long without hope and belief, to now have it once again is pretty bloody revolutionary! A year ago, the majority had decided that this was the year we’d be relegated again and almost all hope had gone. In fact, all we had left was the hope that it would all be over quickly. Now, by contrast, we simply hope it will never end! Many of us have rediscovered our love of the club, having had that feeling numbed by a bored owner who had more interest in balance sheets than anything positive like entertainment, love or glory.

The arrival of the new owners basically booted the club awake. Changes were made more or less immediately and the owners showed that they knew the value of easy wins. So surfaces were re-painted and what felt like 15,000 gaudy Sports Direct signs were consigned to the skip. A smart move; as a fanbase we were now even more onside with the owners.

No one can describe us as sleepwalking anymore. We are very much alive and one of the benefits of the last year has been that all of us can dare to dream again. However, it’s better than that just being something for the fanbase. The management have bought into the dream, the players sense incoming success and the owners are backing these dreams on what feels like a daily basis, while also living the very same dream and backing the team regularly, in person. Our owners are no longer reminiscent of the Ghost of Football Past.

Suddenly, there is a renewed professionalism about the club, a drive and a desire from everyone connected to it and these ingredients have built up over the past year, leaving even the most hardened cynics having some sort of tangible sense of belief. I’ve experienced too much Newcastle United flavoured heartache over the years to get too carried away, but even I’m beginning to think that given time we could be a trophy winning football club once more.

The past year has witnessed the addition of a certain level of quality and class that had been absent – or at least only ever seen fleetingly – over the previous 14 years. The most blatantly obvious sign of that has been the players that we’ve signed, with seasoned internationals like Kieran Trippier being joined by the likes of Bruno and Alexander Isaak; the like of which we all probably thought we’d perhaps never see again in black and white. But class comes in different forms too and so while we’ve signed some excellent players, Eddie Howe has brought in some excellent people too. Think of players like Dan Burn and Matt Targett and I can’t be the only one who thinks they seem like great blokes too?

This idea of class and professionalism extends to the bench and the backroom too where sometimes it can feel like we’ve appointed someone new on a weekly basis. Dan Ashworth was the classic example. A man at the absolute top of his game, in a great job who we decided we wanted and went after patiently but with focus, until we got him. The biggest compliment I can pay that particular appointment is that it’s a whole world away from the likes of Kinnear, Jiminez and Wise. And then you think about the owners. I mean, can you imagine them taking the players out for cut price pizza and then giving fans the sly Vs as they leave in the back of a car?

The coaching team seems big too. Only this week I read an article where Craig Bellamy pointed this out – there’s just more staff, which, when you think about it, makes perfect sense given the size of the squads involved in football these days. Then behind the scenes. the medical team has grown as well as areas like the Sports Science team and while I have very little idea of how it all works, the impression that I get is that it’s a whole lot more professional these days. Again, you get the feeling that the club is being run properly once more. And when you think about what the future might hold in terms of the playing squad and staff involved in helping them out, the mind might just boggle!

Those of us of a certain age might remember The Fast Show and a character played by Paul Whitehouse called ‘Brilliant’. His thing was to walk across varying landscapes extoling the brilliance of anything and everything, usually beginning with a line like, “Aren’t *insert brilliant thing here* brilliant?” And then he’d be off on an enthusiastic riff about said thing being brilliant and the many, usually inaccurate, reasons why it was brilliant. He’d end by simple shouting, “Briiiiiiilllliiiiaaaaaaannnnttt!” Funnier than I’ve made it sound, I assure you! Well, supporting Newcastle United for the last year has been just like being ‘Brilliant’.

Aren’t Newcastle United brilliant?

Imagine you’re ‘Brilliant’ and then just have a think about what you could shout about. It could be an endless sketch, couldn’t it?

“Aren’t Newcastle United brilliant? Black and white stripes like zebras, brilliant! Kieran Trippier over the wall, Amanda Staveley, Wor Flags, Jason Tindall’s tan, brilliant. Team photos, laps of appreciation where they walk around the pitch…appreciating. Bruno’s f***ing magic, Alexander Isaak, so many As in his name, it’s brilliant! Full stadiums, Maxi’s volley against Wolves, mackems fewmin’, who’s that team we call United? Brilllliiiiiiiaaaaaannntt!”

The takeover has also managed to bridge a gap that was embarrassing, but could have got to shameful levels. The womens’ team was left to their own devices under Mike Ashley and as a result it looked under-funded and it under-performed. There seemed to be a general lack of interest in the whole thing. In fact though, it was a team that had been going for ages and been ignored and neglected by the club for most of that time.

It’s to the owners’ credit that they have now brought the womens’ team under the wing of the club. It’s something that could easily be viewed as a PR exercise, but you get the impression that our owners are actually fully behind the team and want it to work.

It brings back memories of Sir John Hall’s ideas about Newcastle United Sporting Club and I personally see it as a good thing. It’s certainly managed to add to the general good feeling about the place and earlier this year the Lady Magpies, as they’re known, smashed their own attendance record when playing at St. James’ Park. The interest is clearly there so it’s just another good thing that we’re all operating under the same roof, so to speak and also another sign that the penny-pinching of the previous regime, has gone.

Speaking of penny pinching, the arrival of Matt Targett got me thinking about the benefits of the takeover in a slightly more subtle way. Matt is not the star name that some would have wanted. You’ve only got to cast your mind back to the summer speculation about Renan Lodi to see that, with social media pundits going mad for a man that probably 80% of them had never heard of. However, we signed Matt Targett. Now, some of us will remember that Targett was meant to sign for us when he was a Southampton player, but we missed out on him and he ended up on loan at Fulham. A familiar tale, sadly and no doubt another last day of the window rumour put out as a smokescreen for our usual level of inactivity. Once again, this was down to the owner’s unwillingness to spend money and we’d have been fed the usual line about ‘just not being able to get it over the line’, so it’s a subtle reminder of the changes that we eventually got him after all, regardless of what some may have made of the signing!

I’d find it hard to believe that anyone could have any real problems with how things have changed in the last year. We may feel conflicted by moral issues connected to the owners, but looking at what they’ve done for the club in the last year, any complaining would be churlish. Where a storm had been raging over Newcastle for years, these new owners have been a breeze that cleared the clouds and brought sunshine where there had been rain. It’s safe to say that it’s been a hell of a year, but it’s almost as much of a sure thing that the next 5 or 10 years promise much, much more.

So, after a year of living the dream, it’s definitely time to look forward, but also to say thank you, because we’ve got a hell of a lot to be grateful for. So far, it’s been an amazing ride – here’s to the future and whatever treats it might bring!

Grassroots Football: Back on the grass once again…but it might be a very long season!

I half recognised the feeling both when I went to bed on Saturday night and then while I was having a shave on Sunday morning. With the whole house silent, other than the noise of the swooshing of my razor in the sink, I tried to pin down what it might be. I showered – always a good place for thinking – but still it didn’t come to me. Breakfast presented no breakthrough either. And then, as I closed the front door and ventured out into the brisk chill of the early Autumn morning, it hit me.

Excitement!

Of course! This was the first Sunday of the grassroots football season and despite the fact that my team had finished rock bottom of their division last season and then subsequently lost around half of its squad, I was definitely smack in the middle of a bout of excitement.

I’d packed the car, as I always do, the previous afternoon. Kit bag, footballs, nets, Respect line, corner flags, step ladders for putting the nets up and a smaller bag with my match book and a few other things in. I’d got up slightly earlier than usual, having also lost an assistant coach, whose son was one of those who departed at the end of the previous season, which meant that I’d be starting to set up on my own. And now, I was getting into the car to drive the two minutes up to the pitch. To add to my by now rather distinct sense of excitement, it wasn’t even raining! Today would be one of those rare occasions where I would be able to set foot on the grass without getting soaking wet feet within about 3 minutes!

My excitement continued, but was dulled ever so slightly when I walked across our pitch and saw the state of the grass. It was easily a good three inches long and therefore not really very convenient for football. So, not ideal then! When one of our parents arrived, we decided to change to an adjacent pitch which appeared to be slightly shorter. That buzz of excitement was still hanging around and the fact that an adult pub team might turn up later looking to use the same pitch added a sense of jeopardy too!

Time always seems to fly when you’re setting up for a match. It can seem like one minute it’s just you, your corner flags and the odd dog walker and then the before you know it, players and parents are arriving and the whole pitch is surrounded with people. It’s always at this point when you realise that all of this is your responsibility and sometimes, especially when the opposition seem to have a number of players who look like grown men, it can be quite daunting!

Still though, the excitement hung around. I spoke to some parents, to some of my players, to the opposition coach and still the flutter stayed. As we warmed up and closer still to kick off, as we conducted a team talk, I was optimistic and looking forward to the game to come.

Sending your players out onto the pitch at this level can relieve you of any control that you thought you might have had. And this is where the excitement can begin to dissipate. It certainly did on Sunday. I sent my lads out onto the pitch on Sunday we some simple instructions, I’ve decided this year to try and think of games in terms of 3 Golden Rules because this should mean I’m never over-complicating matters for my players. I may then speak to people individually, but as a team I want them to all think in terms of these golden rules and trying to do a few simple things as well as we can.

After making a decent enough start on Sunday, we then conceded 3 goals in quick succession and the game was almost already out of our grasp. Worst of all was that they were avoidable goals, meaning that my excitement quickly turned to tension, dread and a real feeling of helplessness. I ask my team to enjoy playing and stay positive, but for them and for me it can be difficult when nothing’s going your way.

At 3-0 down I could see heads dropping and I could hear one or two of my players sniping at each other and arguing a little bit. Obviously, I tried to encourage them to stay positive and to keep playing and pushing forward, but by half time, we were 6-0 down and I knew that it was going to be a difficult half-time team talk!

That earlier feeling of excitement now disappearing somewhere over a local hill, I tried to stay positive. I pointed out the mistakes that were being made, but also reminded my team that they were a far better team than both the last 35 minutes and the score were showing. I repeated the three golden rules and pointed out some positive aspects of our performance, but made sure that I didn’t give anybody any excuses to relieve themselves of any responsibility for what was happening. I made sure that we all understood that every one of us was part of a team. No one person was responsible for this scoreline.

To cut a long story short, we were better in the second half, but we still lost the game 9-1. We had 7 new players in the squad, so it was always going to be a bit of a learning curve as these are 13 and 14-year-old kids getting used to new people.

At the end of the game I ramped up the positives and made sure everybody knew that in the second half we’d been far, far better. We train again on Wednesday evening, when we’ll try to tweak a few things about how we play in order to cut out the kind of silly errors that cost us dearly this weekend.

Then, we have another home game next Sunday. Same time, same place, different opposition. Hopefully I won’t allow myself to get too relaxed and too carried away then, because as I found out at the weekend, it turns out that excitement’s not always what it’s cracked up to be!

Always look on the bright side: Things that made me smile.

Almost two weeks ago, it was time for me to head back to work. A new academic year has now started and having spent the whole summer free of this particular stress, I never take the return very well at all. Despite 22 years as a teacher, I never get used to going back and I never look forward to it.

That first week would also later turn into the week when Queen Elizabeth II passed away and whatever your feelings about the monarchy, it seems to have hit large swathes of people really hard, especially here in the UK.

While none of this made me hugely emotional, it all combined to make me feel low, quite sad and just a little bit like I could do with a boost. So, rather than wallow in the doom, I thought I’d think – and write – about some more positive aspects of the last few weeks, something that I started to blog about early on in August. Here they are in no particular order.

A few weeks ago I chanced upon an article on the BBC website, something that I make sure to have a look at every day. The article was about a restoration project with a difference – the re-planting of seagrass off the Welsh coast. Seagrass is, as the name would suggest, a type of grass that grows in the sea. Bigger than the type of grass you’d find in your garden, but grass all the same. Brilliantly though, a single hectare of seagrass can be home to 80,000 fish and 100,000 invertebrates. It also absorbs and stores carbon dioxide, making it a really important plant to have in our seas.

The project is taking place off the Llyn Peninsula in North Wales, which is somewhere we holiday every year. Its aim is to plant seeds that will grow into a 10 hectare seagrass meadow by 2026. In the sea off our favorite beach, there is already an area of seagrass, which is revealed every time the tide goes out. So the story really resonated with me and I must admit, the idea of its benefits just really made me smile.

The next smile giver is a little simpler than the serious, but exciting eco-project I’ve just written about. We’re big telly watchers in our house, viewing a whole range of things from terrestrial channels, Sky, Netflix, Disney+ and Amazon. We even have ‘Family Telly’ time every day in our house, where we all sit down to watch something appropriate together. But it’s not a family friendly piece of TV that has made me smile recently.

‘All Of Us Are Dead’ is a South Korean high school zombie horror show and to be frank, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds! We started watching it around a month ago and, despite its obvious flaws – blood stains on the kids’ uniforms that have clearly been scribbled on with a marker pen, for instance – it is just a fantastic piece of telly. We’re big fans of anything apocalyptic in our house, so it was onto a winner from the start, but its jeopardy and originality really make it stand out. It’s dubbed, which might spoil it for some, but still if you enjoy the odd fright and a bit of a rollercoaster ride of a programme, then I’d highly recommend tuning in.

While not wanting to go into too much specific detail and attract any unwanted – and frankly unwarranted – criticism, my daughter’s GCSE grades really put a smile on my face. Our faces, in fact, because it was a boost for all the family. She’s worked incredibly hard over the last few years in preparation for them and in the end got very much what she deserved. It’s a set of grades that should help open some doors for her and hopefully help with her progress as she enters further education and even when heading into the world of work eventually. She has a habit of asking, shall we say, ill-thought out questions, as well as just saying ridiculous things, but it turned out that we have a very, very bright kid on our hands and her success made me immensely proud.

Football can be a very cruel sport. Especially when you’re particularly invested in it, as I am. In fact, football was very cruel just a couple of weeks ago, when my team Newcastle United lost a game in time that had been added on to the time that was added. In essence, we lost a game because the referee seemed to revert to playground rules, allowing play to continue until the home team scored the winner.

However, just before this game we had rescued a point in an away game at Wolverhampton Wanderers with an absolute wonder goal from Alain Saint Maximin, our maverick Frenchman. The ball was cleared from deep inside the Wolves box, going so high I expected it to come down with snow on. And what did Alain do? Volleyed it straight into the back of the net from around 20 yards out! Smile? It made me leap around our front room like a giddy teenager again!

The final thing that has given me a bit of a boost over the past couple of weeks has been the surprise I’ve had upon going back to work. Two weeks ago I was dreading returning back to work after 6 weeks of summer holidays. I always do and wrote a post about it.

Teaching: That first week back.

However, although I still can’t declare myself happy to be back working, I’m surprised by how smoothly it feels like I’ve got back into the old routines. I suppose, having been a high school teacher for quite a while now, I should expect just to be able to do my job with the minimum of fuss. But there’s still anxiety at this time of year, every year. Still though, although I’m tired beyond belief at the end of every day – age can be a cruel mistress, dear reader – I’ve not encountered any problems at all and have just been able to take up where I left off a couple of months ago. Definitely a reason to allow myself a bit of a smile!

More again soon on this topic. I’ve enjoyed writing about the things that have made me smile and I think it definitely helps with my mood! Feel free to leave a comment if you enjoyed reading!

Tracking, swooping and discussing: Welcome to the world of transfer window jargon!

As fascinating as it is, the transfer window can be a frustrating and baffling place. As a fan of Newcastle United, during the Ashley years I lived in hope, despite the fact that every fibre of my being told me that it was a fruitless exercise. As if any of us didn’t learn our lesson after we signed Shefki Kuqi!

Yet still, we feel our hearts skip a beat at the mere sight of the yellow ticker at the bottom of the Sky Sports screen and we can’t stop ourselves from refreshing Twitter (and especially the NUFC hashtag) every minute of every day at certain times of the year! And don’t get me started on ITKs! I’m guessing it’s exactly the same with all clubs at this time of year though.

Although things have very much changed for my team on the transfer window front, one thing has stayed very much the same; the amount of hilarious jargon used in the reports relating to the window.

Recently, while I was having a scroll through the BBC Sport gossip section, I found that it was out of hand. And then when combined with places like the Chronicle Live website and listening at any length to Talksport, the language just seems to enter an entirely new dimension. Here’s a selection of what I found.

‘Tracking’ was something Newcastle did a lot while Ashley was owner and as far as I could tell, at most it meant watching a player and generally it seemed to just mean building your hopes up a bit but not buying a player. The verb tracking though brings to mind some kind of cowboy film scenario where native americans are using special skills to find the foot marks from a player’s Gucci trainers on a pavement outside a nightclub somewhere or a broken branch in a hedgerow where the player they’re searching for has passed. At best though ‘tracking’ seems to have meant scouting, which if I’m not mistaken has been going on for years! But, reading newspapers and websites, the amounts of players being tracked was quite something.

I also read a lot about clubs having ‘made contact with’ various players. Now firstly, I thought that was kind of against the rules. ‘Tapping up’ they called it. You’re not supposed to just make contact if a player has a contract with another club. I get it that clubs do, but it’s actually against the rules. Secondly though, it’s funny, because making contact could mean almost anything from sending a letter, a text, an email or even just shaking his hand when you played against him. Sadly, I have a feeling that during the Mike Ashley era, we probably attempted to make contact with players via carrier pigeons…blind ones.

Some new jargon seems to have emerged in recent years with phrases like ‘maintaining an interest’. Another ridiculous one for me, this. Basically, it sounds like a club have said they’re interested in a player and then a bit later, when they’re ‘maintaining an interest’, well they’re just still interested. So, all in all, a pointless report to make really. Great for those ‘clicks’ though eh?

Staying with matters of interest, it amuses me when I read that clubs have ‘cooled their interest’ in a player. How is that interest cooled? Does the coach get forced into a very cold shower? Are they subjected to the ice bucket challenge or just asked to make their minds up while sitting under the shade of a nice big parasol? A weird phrase really. Sadly, again I think that Newcastle’s interest was often cooled in the past when it looked like that carrier pigeon hadn’t been able to make contact with a player. Or just when Mike Ashley realised that he couldn’t sign said player for a bargain bucket price or traded for a box full of Lonsdale tracksuits.

One of the more vague expressions I read concerning transfers was that a club was ‘weighing up a bid’ for a player. Almost like a manager would go to the chairman, let him know that they’d been ‘tracking’ a player, had ‘maintained an interest’, but didn’t know whether to actually sign them. So the two of them were just going to sit their and ‘weigh up a bid’, looking quizzically at each other. Similar to this in terms of vagueness was reading that a club were ‘discussing the possibility of a deal’. Not the deal, but the possibility of a deal. Weird.

It amused me to read that a club was ‘exploring a deal’, conjuring up images of Jurgen Klopp or Pep Guardiola in a big canoe going up the Amazon or Ralph Hasenhutll wandering round the jungle in the Republic of Congo, looking for a right back. Come to think of it though, Ralph Hasenhutll sounds way more like an old time explorer than a football manager so maybe it’s a more accurate phrase than we imagine.

Similarly vague is the new kid on the block as clubs are now often described as ‘preparing an offer’ for a player. I mean, how much preparation is needed? It makes transfers sound like one of those property shows where the house hunters really want the property but are encouraged to make low-ball offer after low-ball offer, pushing the money up by a thousand pounds every time until they get to a ;point where the seller will actually let the house go. Or is it just that so much money is involved in transfers these days that everyone at the club is encouraged to search down the back of their sofas to club together any pound coins they can find? Or do some managers just not really know what to say when it comes to transfers? Maybe there are some painfully shy bosses that we just don’t know about yet.

Some of the more old school phrases still get used around transfers today. One of them revolves around the idea that clubs have ‘swooped’ to make a signing. Again, it’s ridiculous, implying as it does that there is some kind of eagle-like quality to managers or even football clubs. Personally, I’d love to see some managers being urged to run off the side of a cliff wearing some home made wings, but that’s got nothing to do with the transfer window.

With a day or so still to go in the summer transfer window there’s still time for someone to invent some new jargon with which to entertain us. It’s certainly allowed me to conjure up some strange scenarios over the last couple of months. Anyway, here’s to my club Newcastle pouncing tiger-like or maybe even ambushing their way into one last signing before midnight on Thursday.