Middle Aged Gigging: Ellur at The Square Chapel, Halifax.

It’s not often I get out to see a new artists anymore. I’ll sometimes watch someone new supporting one of my favourites, but the days of getting out and watching new bands and unproven talent have long gone, I’m afraid. Tonight is slightly different though. This is actually my third time of seeing Ellur live, but while on the other two occasions she’s performed with a band, tonight it’s just Ellur, a guitar, a couple of plants and around 150 people in the audience. So, no pressure then!

Pressure or not though, when you’re being compared to Joni Mitchell and Sam Fender in the same night, you really must be doing something right. And believe me, Ellur is definitely doing a lot of things right. I hear both of these comparisons from people around the place tonight though and in truth I can’t help but agree. Ellur really is one to watch.

Tonight, as stripped back as this gig is, Ellur truly thrives. Right from the off, she’s got the audience eating out of the palm of her hand, asking us if anyone here is actually from Halifax and then, when she finds out that no one is, she tells us it’s ok, as ‘it would be a bit shit without you’! There’s a presence and charisma that belies her years but then of course, the key ingredient is that she also has the songs to back it all up.

Tonight is just a short set, but it’s still superb and while the comparisons I mentioned are completely valid, for me there’s also something a bit reminiscent of Suzanne Vega about Ellur in this performance. She’s got a fantastic voice and songs like ‘Yellow Light’ and ‘Your Dog’ absolutely soar with the latter being introduced as ‘a song about this guy I was dating who was an arsehole’. I mean, it’s fair to say there’s a few of them about! A bit later, there’s also a brilliant sing along during ‘Thank God You Tried’ where we all get to feel like part of the act!

However, tonight it’s powerful closer ‘God Help Me Now’ that really showcases Ellur’s talent. There’s a wonderful subtlety that’s coupled with moments of sheer power in her voice here that you can’t help but be hooked by and the song itself is just superb. And then, having enthralled us all for far too short a time, she gives a couple of curtseys and is off.

As small as this gig has been, it feels like we’ve all been in on a bit of a moment. Apart from anything else, to put yourself out there with no one else and just a guitar for support is perhaps as brave as it gets for a performer. And yet tonight, Ellur absolutely smashes it.

With an E.P. out soon and then a debut album next year, Ellur could and should really take off and if there’s even a small shred of justice in the world Ellur’s star will be allowed to shine brightly in the coming year. What a privilege to see such a genuine talent up close! If you get a chance in the new year or indeed any time in the future, get out and see her perform, with or without the band. You can thank me later.

Always look on the bright side: Five things that made me smile this Autumn.

It’s been a little while since I wrote one of these; a series that I started writing every month in order to remind myself that there were definitely positives in my life. At a time when I felt like I was struggling, I also wondered if it would help anyone else who might stumble upon this and read about some happy or funny stories. As ever, some are related to me and some are just the kinds of things that I’ve spotted in the news. Because everybody needs a bit of a smile now and again.

My new job. In September I started a new job and I have to say it’s been tough going since day one. I’m lucky enough to work in a very supportive environment and I’m still just about enjoying the challenge. There are plenty of positives too, but one in particular stood out from last month. As with most schools, our behaviour system has negative points as well as positives. Sadly, I find myself having to log a lot more negatives than I’d like and at times it can mean that there’s not enough time to catch up with the positives. However, some groups are very keen to remind you to put them on the system! One boy in my Year 7 group really managed to make me smile last month with his reaction to being given an achievement point. He’s always very keen to get them and always asks on his way out of the class if he’s earned one. And on this occasion when he asked and I responded positively he walked off with a barely audible, yet emphatic ‘Yes’ and a bit of a fist pump! A lovely, golden moment!

The Morley 10k. The town where I live has been holding a 10k race for a few years now and I’ve managed to run every one, despite my health issues. For this year’s I’d trained pretty well, running the route a few times and bringing my time down every time. I’d also ran quite a few 10k+ training runs and was feeling good. However, on the morning of the race I felt terrible. Like I was going to vomit imminently. I considered not running, but managed to pull myself together, resolving that this year’s goal was just to get round. But when I got into my running I felt quite strong and, checking my watch, was going quite fast. Sadly, I slowed a bit in the second half of the course before managing to put together a strong finish and eventually came 342nd out of 849 runners. Not my finest hour, but easily enough to make me smile (once I’d gotten my breath back and stopped groaning)!

The Winner of the Great North Run. Sadly, it wasn’t me. Partly because I didn’t take part but mainly because it would have taken me most of the day. Also, it’s the women’s race that I’m writing about. You see, I have a connection to the winner. Let me tell you about it. Every Saturday morning, me and my son volunteer as marshals at one of our local Park Runs. Every week we wait eagerly for the first runner to arrive, often marvelling at how fast they’re running. A short while back now, we were stood at our usual spot, not expecting the first runners for a couple of minutes yet. And then, as I glanced to my left, down the track, she appeared. A female runner, going extremely quickly. She was a real sight to behold. Graceful, powerful, effortless; she looked like a proper athlete. It turned out that she was! Mary Ngugi-Cooper is a Kenyan athlete who apparently lives locally and she’d just ran our course record time! She even came back the next week and broke her own record again! Fast forward to September and I found myself watching the Great North Run – a very famous half marathon) on telly while I did a bit of Sunday morning ironing. It was held in torrential rain (the race, not the ironing), but something else began to pique my interest. Every time they cut to footage of the women’s’ race, I was sure I recognised one of the leading pack. But I couldn’t quite place her. Anyway, after a thrilling finish the same lady won the race with just 5 seconds separating the first 5 athletes. When her name appeared on the screen, the penny finally dropped. My mate Mary from ParkRun had just won the Great North Run!

The return of Gone Fishing. ‘Gone Fishing’ is a BBC series where two blokes go fishing. Yet, of course it’s much, much more than that. The two blokes are comedians Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse, both heroes of mine. The series came about after Bob had a triple heart bypass and had pretty much given up on life. When no one could tempt him to leave the house, his friend Paul got in touch and suggested a spot of fishing. It worked. Not only that though, after a few trips the two realised that they could make a television series about it, which they went on to do. Amazingly, given that this is a programme where two blokes just go fishing, it’s just been commissioned for an 8th series and I’m currently enjoying the 7th. Gone Fishing is much more than just some fishing though. It’s about health, friendship, nature, humour and much more and is a truly heartening watch. Needless to say, the latest series has me smiling.

Beekeeper discovers lost bees. A lovely story from the BBC website in September. When he became a father something inspired Ross Main to set out to find his grandfather’s lost beehives. Maybe it was the memories of tending them with his grandad and possible hoping to pass on similar lessons to his own children. Anyway, Ross set off to the abandoned quarry where the hives had been and despite the hugely overgrown area, he found one last hive, having worried that they’d all been sold off. Even better news though, was that the bees had survived. After a bit of research Ross was able to transfer the hive to his home town and start to tend to them. Now, some 9 years on he has set up an apiary business, manages around 300,000 bees a week in 90-100 colonies and sells honey to local farm shops as well as teaching locals about the value of bees to the ecosystem. What’s not to like about that story?

I hope at least some of those made you smile!

Middle Aged Gigging – Embrace at the Victoria Theatre, Halifax.

First there was a blanket of snow. Then there was torrential rain, followed by strong winds and in short, Yorkshire got battered by the weather. But it was Embrace that nearly took the roof off the theatre tonight.

As part of their tour for the 20th anniversary of the album ‘Out of Nothing’, tonight the band play the Victoria Theatre in Halifax. As local lads, it’s a bit of a homecoming kind of gig and as such, it was always going to be special and judging by the amount of smiling faces around me, the boys did the trick.

First up tonight are Fever, an indie rock band from Hull. The first thing that strikes me about Fever is that they are yet another in a now long line of support bands who make me feel very, very old! At least two of them look like they might need to spend tomorrow finishing off some GCSE coursework, but if that were true I’d say to sack the exams off, because Fever are excellent. There’s a hint of the Arctic Monkeys about Fever’s sound and while that may sound lazy, it’s certainly not an insult. Singer James has a real presence and a great voice and at times he reminds me ever so slightly of a young Ian Brown. But what makes Fever such a good watch tonight is most definitely the songs with tunes like ‘Why Can’t You hear Me?’ and ‘Gold Intentions’ making them a band that you should definitely seek out.

What we’ve all braved the rain and the snow for though, is Embrace and so as ‘What A Wonderful World’ is brought to an abrupt end and the lights are dimmed, there’s a tangible excitement in the room, which is quite the effort at our age!

We’re thrown straight in at the deep end with the classic ‘All You Good Good People’ and the whole room are on side and singing along. The band sound incredible and when they follow it with ‘Come Back to What You Know’ the atmosphere ramps up another notch.

‘Out of Nothing’ is the record being celebrated tonight though and so we’re given a run of songs from the album with ‘Looking As You Are’ being dedicated to Danny’s 5-year-old daughter Kate. ‘Keeping’ is the stand out track in this section for me though and as we break the run for a brilliant rendition of ‘Nature’s Law’ it feels like everyone is having an amazing night.

A special mention has to go to ‘A Glorious Day’ here though. I never thought I’d be the kind of bloke to turn on his camera light and sway at a gig, yet Danny McNamara asks and here we are! It looks and sounds amazing!

Half way through the set and it’s difficult to see how things could get better, but we’re then treated to and incredible ‘Out of Nothing’ which feels more and more like some kind of religious experience every time I hear it live. Rick – and his broken nail – takes the mic for a blistering ‘Refugees’ before the band are joined by Nicole from Eevah for ‘Never’. What a song and what a voice she has, by the way!

‘Gravity’ then does its usual job on me! As the first song at our wedding – and I’m guessing it’s the same for a few others in the room – it’s special anyway, but as someone who’s had heart trouble these past few years, ‘Can you hear my heart beating?’ is a gut punch like no other, albeit it a kind of friendly one. I cling to Mrs C and sing along, all the while trying not to cry in front of Danny…again!

Over the years, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve began to dread Danny McNamara announcing ‘Ashes’ by asking us if we’ll be jumping up and down. I’m 52 and had a pacemaker fitted two years ago, Danny. My knees are shot and my back aches on a near permanent basis these days. Jumping up and down gives me the fear! However, as the song kicks in and he follows it with the familiar refrain of ‘Up, up, up up!’ I’ve got an arm in the air and I appear to be doing exactly as he says and in turn facing that fear! What a song! It’s an incredible few minutes, albeit something that I’ll no doubt regret as I attempt to roll out of bed in the morning. I check my heart rate as the song ends – a familiar action these days! It’s 98 and not too bad, but still, I’m chuffed to bits when the security bloke offers me some water!

Thankfully, I get a break as Embrace leave the stage to rapturous cheers. And that’s what this feeling is when we see them; rapture. We smile, we forget everything else, we dance, we just about jump up and down and we’re able to lose ourselves for a couple of wonderful hours.

But obviously, it’s not over yet!

After a brilliant ‘Protection’ Danny gets us dancing for ‘We Are It’ and I wonder if me or Mrs C will ever be the ones who get pointed to. If you know, you know, as they say! Having been treated to ‘No Use Crying’ in Manchester last week, it still feels kind of exciting to hear it again live in the encore.

A powerful ‘Near Life’ allows us time to breathe a little before everyone in the place adds their ‘la, la, las’ to an incredible version of ‘The Good Will Out’ and I swear there’s enough power in those smiles to light up the room.

I’ve been watching Embrace play live for almost 30 years now and it’s always a beautiful feeling. I never want that to end. Tonight was another gig to file under ‘incredible’. Thanks lads; let’s do it all again soon!

Three Mags at Wembley!

It was a bit of a funny old weekend. Those international breaks are rarely that entertaining and I think we’d all much prefer to be watching our beloved Newcastle United. But then with three players in the England squad for Sunday evening’s game against the Republic of Ireland, I’m guessing that a lot of us found ourselves watching.

I found out via social media that we had three starters in the team. It took me by surprise, despite the fact that Anthony Gordon and Lewis Hall had both played a part in the victory away in Greece a few days earlier. I thought that Hall deserved the start this time, but England being England, was still quite surprised to see him in the team. I mean, I’d have been less surprised if I was told that they’d just called up the perma-injured Luke Shaw.

And then there was Tino Livramento, a player highly rated at St. James’ Park, but who so far had been largely ignored by England despite making the last couple of squads. I thought I’d read it wrong when suddenly he was in the starting line up for Wembley, even though I really rate the lad and think he could be England’s first choice right back for many years to come. Still, there was no time for grumbling and just about enough time to get the telly on and watch the match.

I thought our lads did extremely well. Gordon was a constant threat out on the left hand side, despite being handled quite well by the Irish and in particular their right winger Ebosele when tracking back. Gordon being Gordon though, he just kept making the runs and would eventually get his reward when scoring his first international goal. A good run across his defender and a cute finish too that gave the keeper no chance of ever getting across to it. And there was double the reason to celebrate as it was from Livramento’s cross via a flick on. A goal made on Tyneside. Well, sort of.

Tino had a good, solid debut. I thought he was a bit more conservative than he is with us, in terms of getting forward, but as the game wore on he just got better and better. He looked like he belonged in the shirt, playing alongside some of the best the country has to offer.

Lewis Hall, for me was a contender for Man of The Match. He was calm, assured and dynamic going forward; the player that we’ve grown used to watching for Newcastle, week in, week out. What a player we’ve got on our hands and what a left back England have too!

All three of our players did their country proud on Sunday evening and in doing so no doubt made all Newcastle fans proud, too. This was the first time in 27 years that we’d had three players in an England starting line up; an indication that our future really is bright.

So, it was a lovely Sunday evening for us Mags. The icing on the cake though came with just a little bit of help from our ‘friends’ down the road. On the weekend that mackems celebrated another famous social media win – their lesser Bellingham started for the U-21s and got asked for some autographs and their manager was spotted by one of their fans enjoying the delights of our city – we had the three starters for England…

Clearly, there are levels to this game.

Review: Rhod Gilbert at the Grand Theatre in Leeds.

Rhod Gilbert is a notoriously dour comedian. A bit miserable and matter of fact. Funny though, but cynical and blunt. And tonight we’re promised that things will get beyond blunt.

Rhod’s latest tour – Rhod Gilbert and the Giant Grapefruit – is all about his battle with cancer over the last 3 years. Well, they do say that we can find humour in anything.

As he takes the stage he’s quick to warn us that things are going to get dark. But we know why we’re here and exactly what the circumstances of the show are. Gilbert has fought and beaten head and neck cancer, after the discovery of a growth – that’ll be the grapefruit – on his neck. Ironically, this was found during a trek in South America to raise funds for his local cancer hospital. And as the man himself says, when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade. But when life throws you grapefruits, you’re never going to be sure quite what to do. But, like comedians are inclined to do, he made a joke out of it and took it on tour.

It’s a very different night of comedy that begins with the comic asking if there are any people in the audience who’ve also had cancer. But it works. There are, I suppose as you’d statistically expect, a fair few audience members who have gone through and recovered from cancer. A couple of people have even had the same cancer as Gilbert and so some of tonight is spent discussing what they’ve been through. It’s never indulgent and always funny (which feels like a weird thing to write even now).

It’s a brilliant show. Gilbert is, as ever, engaging and forthright. Nothing is held back, meaning that a few thousand of us are treated to tales of cancer based constipation that we probably could have done without! But, even when we’re cringeing about it, we’re laughing. Along the way, we’re treated to tales of John, Rhod’s driver while he was unable to drive himself, who is ridiculed mercilessly.

As promised, there are lots of darker moments tonight. It’d be impossible to avoid after a 3 year cancer journey. But it’s actually uplifting. Brutally honest and all the while searching for a bright spot, but it’s dark. I find myself wondering whether or not it’s ok to laugh at times, but realise that the whole room is laughing so it’s probably the whole point. Sometimes, when the chips are down, if you don’t laugh, well you’ll probably cry and I know which I prefer.

There’s a brilliant section near the end of the set where Rhod gives out awards for those who’ve featured in his battle against cancer. I won’t give the game away as some of you might go to see the show in the coming months, but there’s a brilliant tale involving a trip to get treatment that almost ended up in Aberdeen of all places. And remember, Gilbert lives in Wales! There are also awards for those who reached out to Rhod during his last 3 years, some with wise and beautifully written, sage pieces of advice…and others where it’s just plain weird.

The show ends with Rhod now offstage and a video that was made during his treatment. Keeping with the themes of the night, it’s funny while also being really sad at times and we’re given just that extra little bit of insight into Gilbert’s character. Thankfully, it’s been a happy ending and I dare say that there was more than just me in the room who was choking back a few tears as Rhod rang the bell to signal that he’d beaten cancer.

Welcome back, Rhod!

NUFC: The ones that got away – Hugo Viana.

You would have had to have been either exiled on a remote island or taking some time out in space to not know that Manchester City have been in the news a bit lately. The 115 Premier League and Uefa related charges against them, the success of their challenge to the Premier League or just the fact that they seem to be stumbling a bit and really not maintaining their happy habit of winning football matches, Citeh are never far away from the news. But did many of us notice the appointment of Hugo Viana as their incoming Sporting Director for the 25/26 season?

Now any of you younger readers may be muttering ‘Hugo who’? Well, let me inform you and at the same time remind some of us older Mags of Hugo’s past. Because Hugo really was one that got away from Newcastle United.

Hugo Viana was signed by Newcastle as a 19-year-old from Sporting Lisbon (or Sporting CP as they seem to be known nowadays). His was a record Toon fee for a teenager at £8.5m and having won the Young European Player of the Year award in his previous season (now the Golden Boy award) he arrived with a lot of expectation. This was undoubtedly an exciting signing. But sadly, it just didn’t work out.

Viana joined us as a hugely gifted footballer. Playing as a left sided central midfielder he was viewed by Bobby Robson as being a natural successor to Gary Speed. And maybe this was part of the problem. Speed was not only a favourite of Robson – one of his ‘blue chip boys’ – but of the fans too. Despite age creeping up on him, he wasn’t slowing down and was still very much a dominant force in our midfield alongside the likes of Kieron Dyer, Jermaine Jenas, Clarence Acuna and Nobby Solano. As a result, Viana’s chances were limited and he never really got the run of games that would have hopefully seen him become a mainstay of the team for years to come.

Viana had an excellent passing range but probably lacked the pace and physicality to succeed in the Premier League. It didn’t make him any less of a player though. Think Yohan Cabaye, but crucially without Cabaye’s experience, aggression and will to win. So it was then, that we only ever really saw glimpses of Viana’s greatness on Tyneside.

There are a few standout memories of Viana’s time at Newcastle for me. Firstly, the goals. Viana didn’t score many, but he was never one for tap ins, either. He scored only 4 goals in 61 appearances, but they were all pretty special. A first time screamer into the near top corner against Chelsea at the Gallowgate springs to mind as well as his strike from the left hand corner of the box against Feyenoord away in the Champions League. The other two were free kicks that he elegantly caressed into the near corner, before running off laughing like this was the easiest thing in the world.

Viana was a player that promised much in flashes. There’d be moments of brilliance where he made the game look simply effortless and in those moments it wasn’t overly hard to understand what the club had seen in order to shell out millions. However, Hugo was obviously very young and as a result – at a time when not too many very young players were joining our league – the move just didn’t work. The league felt too physical for the nuances of his game and he just wasn’t afforded the time on the ball that was perhaps needed for him to flourish. As often with players coming in from the smaller European leagues, he just couldn’t seem to get going at Newcastle.

In the end, it was inevitable that we’d cut our losses and that Hugo would be allowed to move on. I imagine that it came as a relief to the player when he was loaned out to Valencia for the 2005 – 2006 season. However, it was a similar story there as he struggled for game time and consistency and by 2009 he was off to Braga, back in Portugal. Here he was much more successful, making 123 appearances and scoring 16 goals in 4 seasons.

Following a spell playing in Saudi Arabia, Hugo returned to Portugal, eventually taking up the post of sporting director at Sporting Lisbon, where after getting through a number of managers and hugely expanding their scouting network, his success has now led to his recent appointment to the same role at Manchester City. Hopefully, he can be a success in his new role…just as long as it doesn’t harm us!

What do you remember of Viana’s time on Tyneside?

Review: Russell Kane at the Leeds Grand.

It’s 10.40 on Sunday night and I’ve just got home. My face aches, particularly across my cheekbones and I think I probably need a go on my inhaler. I feel genuinely knackered, but it’s not a bad thing though…just the result of spending some of my evening laughing like a drain in Russell Kane’s company.

I last saw Russell probably over 10 years ago and so, given the amount of time, I’m not entirely sure what to expect. What I do know is that it’s going to be a very physical kind of gig. A bit like Lee Evans but with a better sense of style and far more up to date references.

First up tonight is Jack Skipper, a comedian I must admit that I’ve never heard of. But that’s part of the treat here. I mean, us middle aged types aren’t often out on a Sunday night anyway, but as far as a bit of mystery is concerned, I’m restricted to the pub quiz, the meat raffle and a bit of ‘open the box’ if I’m lucky! So a mystery comedian is fine with me!

It can be quite awkward seeing any new comedian though. I’m always immediately aware of the chance that they might just die on their arse and I was brought up to always try to be polite. What do I do if he’s just not funny? Happily though, Jack raises some decent laughs early on before then dropping a C bomb and really warming us up.

Starting off by talking us through how he’ll pay his kids back for all of the early mornings that they provide him with when he’s hungover, he then moves on to the fact that we’re out on a Sunday night – a miracle for some of us if it’s not on the calendar! Particularly true in our house! He’s an ex carpet fitter, so gives us some jokes and stories about his time in that particular trade as well as his take on his school days and the fact that he feels that he’s just not that bright. Bright or not, Jack Skinner leaves us all with a warm glow and the feeling that we’ve just seen a future star. There’s a hint of Micky Flanagan and a touch of Jack Whitehall, while also having something akin to Russell Kane himself in there, yet Skinner definitely has his own way. He’s funny, relatable and likeable and deserves his success when it comes.

Now normally when reviewing any kind of gig I’ll have some points of reference. So, if it’s a band it’ll be notable songs and if it’s a comedian, it’s the topics they talk about or just a great gag. Russell Kane is very much a different kettle of fish though. I swear tonight feels like it’s 100% off the cuff and it’s all the more brilliant for that fact. It’s obviously not off the cuff at all, but for someone to meander through as many topics, views and stories and still get back to the point time after time, all the while making the entire room laugh uproariously, is a real skill.

It’s not hard to work out why this is called the ‘Hyperactive’ tour. If you know Kane’s live work then you know his style; perpetual motion at what feels like 100 miles an hour. And anyone who just bought tickets for a good night out is left in no doubt as to the name when he bounds out and proceeds to just do circuits across the stage as he talks. Kane is a phenomenon; he never seems to stop and his delivery is incredible coming as it does on the run, during a dance, lying down or just crouching in front of us. Even taking a drink is done while wandering!

Whether there’s a plan or not, Kane’s material is superb tonight and I find myself wondering ‘Is this the funniest show I’ve ever seen?’ about halfway through. The answer is that I don’t know, but that’s the fault of my memory, not Russell Kane. Tonight is very definitely up there though.

In a way, Kane is hugely unprepared for tonight’s show as when he takes to the stage he’s only actually been in the building for 10 minutes or so. Apparently he was stuck in motorway traffic, which not only leads to a glorious bit about Slaithwaite – a place Kane discovers that the locals pronounce as more of a noise than an actual word; Slaawit – but lands him in quite an agitated mood. In turn, this adds even more to the energy of the show!

Quite a chunk of tonight is related to the audience. Kane ‘picks on’ the front row from the off and much fun is had at the expense of Yorkshire folk and their accents and attitudes. There’s nothing at all malicious in this and Russell judges the tone brilliantly so that the whole theatre is laughing as one. Even when he does a brief section about Geordies later on, I can’t take offence. It’s just very, very funny and stingingly accurate!

Kane says himself that he doesn’t tell jokes. In fact some of tonight seems dedicated to almost giving us a sermon about enjoying life, but it’s just hilarious at the same time. There are a good ten minutes spent on gently mocking ‘Gen Z’ as he asks questions of a 17 year old near the front and I find myself veering between wiping tears of laughter away and feeling dreadfully sorry for the lad!

Further down the line, there are riffs on his working class roots, his family, his wife and also the joys of living up north. All of it is priceless, hence the aching face and struggling lungs when I get home.

Only when Russell starts talking about limiting his show to 70 minutes, do I realise that we’re nearing the end. So relentless has he been that it feels like time has flown. Maybe somehow, with his dancing and speed walking around the stage he’s managed to find a way to speed up time? He admits to being worn out and I think every last person in the room feels exactly the same. But we’re all smiling.

Kane leaves the stage to rapturous and well deserved applause and much acclaim. There’s no chance of an encore, but nobody seems to care. This has been a wonderful night spent in the company of someone who appears to be a wonderful human being. And boy, is he funny!

If you get the chance to catch any of the rest of the tour, then jump on it. If not, start preparing yourself for next time!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Russell Kane; perhaps the funniest stand up in Britain.

Middle Aged Gigging: The Bluetones at the Brudenell Social Club in Leeds.

I’ve lived in Leeds now for well over 25 years and seen a lot of gigs in that time too. However, strangely, I’ve never been to the Brudenell which makes me feel a little bit sheepish about tonight’s gig. Almost like I’ve been cheating a bit in the way I’ve seen my local gigs!

Mixed in with that sheepishness though, there’s the usual excitement at seeing The Bluetones, so it’s all good as they say.

The Brudenell is literally just a big, traditional working men’s club, but over the years it’s gained a reputation as a fantastic venue hosting all manner of brilliant music, so naturally I’m looking forward to our visit. And I’m not disappointed because the atmosphere in the place is just great and we’re treated to a superb night.

Support tonight is provided by local Leeds band, The Loose Cut and it’s safe to say that they’re excited to be here too. I’ve seen them supporting The Bluetones before and they were good then, but tonight there’s definitely an extra edge to their set. Their sound lies somewhere on the heavier end of indie pop and there are loads of good tunes here tonight, starting with opener ‘Last All Night’ and carrying on through the set with the singalong of ‘Round and Around’ and the highlight of ‘Resist’.

The Loose Cut are really loud too. We’re right next to the stage and as well as the usual throbbing of the bass going through my body, I can even feel my jeans shivering. Definitely a band to check out, but maybe take a step back if you’re my age!

Ultimately though, we’re here to see The Bluetones, a band I’ve seen loads times before over the years. And that amount of gigs really matters as I know that I’m pretty much guaranteed a brilliant night full of great songs and a bit of in between songs entertainment as provided by lead singer and all round top fella, Mark Morriss. There will always be something slightly different with this brilliant band.

Tonight, the main difference is that the band have recently released their first new music in 14 years. It’ll be the first time I’ve heard it live and I’m interested to hear how it’ll sound even though I bought the EP when it came out last month. The band are usually pretty tight though and so I don’t think I’m in for any nasty surprises here.

The other difference comes with the lads’ on stage attire. Over the years, The Bluetones have worn tuxedos, dressed as scientists and done the encore in pyjamas and dressing gowns as well as various other looks. And tonight is no different…although actually different, if you know what I mean! Tonight the lads take to the stage in a combination of t-shirts from their own merch, jeans, white Converse and wait for it…blue sweatbands, which I have to say is an excellent touch. I mean, it’s hot under those lights and there’s none of us getting any younger!

Old favourites ‘Bluetonic’ and ‘Cut Some Rug’ start things off in brilliant fashion, with the already ‘on side’ packed house signing along in unison. It feels clear that the band are up for this and so are we.

The pace continues with ‘Fast Boy’ and the excellent ‘Down By The Reservoir’ before the band show some sympathy for the many middle aged limbs in the audience by playing a trio of slower songs in ‘Keep The Home Fires Burning’, ‘4 Day Weekend’ – in honour of Jesus, apparently – and then ‘Sleazy Bed Track’. Mark gives us a jokey dressing down during this section for not buying these singles when they were out. I resist the urge to tell him that I did, in fact buy them, for fear of looking like a bit of a tw*t though. I mean, you don’t want to look like that in front of your favourites, do you? I did buy them though…

Then, it’s time for us to be treated to our first live taste of new material as ‘Drive Thru’ makes an appearance. And it is a proper treat. Like anyone who’s waited 14 years to hear new songs, there’s the fear that the band might just not have it anymore. But we shouldn’t have worried, especially given this band’s track record. All of the new songs tonight sound fantastic and they’ll sit well alongside other live favourites, hopefully for years to come.

Before we know it we’re into the last three tracks of the night, although with a bit of a wink from Mark, we’re comforted by the fact that these won’t actually be the last songs of the night. We’re dropping the pretence after all these years and apparently there’ll be something called an encore…

It’s a race to the end of the set with ‘After Hours’ followed by ‘Slight Return’ and then ‘Never Going Nowhere’, coming as it does with its now traditional 80s pop medley. Tonight there’s ‘Obsession’ by Eurythmics, ‘Jump’ by Van Halen, ‘Power of Love’ by Huey Lewis and The News (a personal high point!) and a remarkable stab at ‘Feel For You’ by Chaka Khan! Believe me, you’re not getting this type of entertainment elsewhere and nor are you getting the option of finishing a song in the style of a) The Bluetones or b) Elvis, which is another thing that happens tonight! It’s safe to say Mark, that if it all goes t*ts up, you could make a decent living as an Elvis impersonator. I mean, we saw one in Mallorca that was genuinely robbing a living, so the Balearics market is ripe for the picking!

The end of the night comes all too soon with said encore of new track ‘Madeline’ and the classic that is ‘If’, which is so highly anticipated apparently that some bloke behind me is literally effing and jeffing at the band to play at the top of his voice!

If I’m honest, I would’ve stayed for a good while longer listening to these lads tonight. The Bluetones really are an absolute joy and I’m sure even big sweary Dave (possibly not his real name) would agree, despite the minute or so delay in playing ‘If’!

Afterwards, we make a quick trip to the merch stall so I can grab a t-shirt and a new hat and then it’s time to head home. Once again, as with so many other times in the past, it’s just been a brilliant night. Mark, Scott, Adam, Eds and Richard; thanks for the gig and for putting another huge smile on my face! That said, if I could make a suggestion for next time…how about ‘Thank You For Being A Friend’ from The Golden Girls for that medley? Surely no one would grumble…not even big sweary Dave!

Until the next time; cheers lads!

Anthony Gordon: Our latest long term superstar!

As an advocate of his from the very start of his Newcastle career, the recent news that Anthony Gordon had signed a new long term deal was music to my ears. As it would have been to many a Newcastle fan too, no doubt.

Gordon joined the club in January 2023 for £40m in slightly controversial circumstances. I say slightly controversial but it feels like Everton supporters have been apoplectic about it ever since, despite claiming to be glad to be rid of the lad. You’d think it wouldn’t be much of a problem as they’re constantly reminding us of how bad he is, but here we are.

At the time of the signing I wrote another article and was happy to state that Gordon was ‘a fantastic player’, ‘a very talented footballer’ and that in my opinion he’d prove to be ‘a genuine success’. All words that I’ll happily stand behind getting on for two years later! Not that I think I showed any real insight when we signed him, of course. Gordon just felt like the kind of player that was always going to be a fan favourite at Newcastle. And so it has proved.

After a slightly shaky start when Gordon himself admits he wasn’t fit enough to play effectively in Eddie’s system, the lad has gone from strength to strength. In front of a set of fans that want a team that tries, Anthony Gordon’s most obvious strength is his will to win and work rate. Whether it’s chasing down seemingly lost causes or leading the press and pressuring an opposition goalkeeper at full speed, Gordon never lacks effort.

However, while a phenomenal work rate is a plus, it’s Gordon’s attacking flair that gets people off their seats. Following in the footsteps of stars like Wayne Fereday and Ian Stewart must have been daunting, but Anthony has revelled in the challenge… (If you’re a Toon fan of a certain vintage, you’ll get that joke. If you’re not, please don’t Google Wayne Fereday NUFC).

Playing predominantly as a right footed left winger, that ability to cut in onto his right foot and either find a pass, a give and go or just get off a shot at goal is priceless. It feels obvious that he’s going to do it and yet at times he looks unstoppable. In terms of going past full backs Gordon is a bit of a throwback, bringing to mind memories of players like Ginola and Robert and although he doesn’t have their delivery, it’s safe to say that the game has changed since their day anyway. Nowadays, a lot of teams favour a winger that can cut inside as part of a front three and while Gordon doesn’t supply the sort of arrowed crosses that Laurent Robert would ping in for Shearer, we’re just not that type of team any more.

Anthony Gordon has proved himself to be crucial to the team. Firstly, he’s reliable. He’s almost never injured, which with the demands of the modern game is quite something and at Newcastle United is a bloody miracle! He’s generally a 7 or 8 out of 10 kind of player as well. The performances – give or take a few games this season – are generally there. For me, when he’s running at a defender and threatening to go past them on either side, he’s worth his weight in gold and is a real crowd pleaser.

Personally, I think tiredness could be a key factor so far this season as the lad hasn’t had a decent break from football for a while because of two summers worth of international duty. Maybe there’s been some kind of hangover from the Euros when he was criminally ignored by Gareth Southgate, when even the most narrow minded mackem or Evertonian could see that we were crying out for his pace and ability to get the team up the pitch. Whatever it is, I expect that sooner or later he’s going to kick into gear again and hit the heights that we witnessed at times last season.

Perhaps the comfort of this long term contract will be the making of the lad again this season. In life, when we’re settled, we’re often at our best. I know that if I have less to think about or worry about, then I’m capable of focusing more on the things that matter. With Gordon, there have been flashes of his best form and ability this season, but it’s been widely acknowledged that he’s not been quite at the levels he previously set for himself. And personally, although I would have never let him anywhere near that penalty against Everton, I admire the guts he showed in taking it and also in continuing to give everything afterwards. I for one am still very firmly of the belief that we have a hell of a player on our hands.

His comments after signing his new deal should be music to the ears of Newcastle fans. “I think the club’s in a great place…I love it here…I feel very connected to everyone – team mates, fans and everyone involved.” So far, Gordon has scored 15 goals and provided 11 assists in his 74 appearances for the club; not at all bad for a winger playing on the wrong side! He’s been involved in some fantastic moments too. There have been spectacular goals against Sheffield United and Manchester City last year, as well as the goal against Liverpool at home when he showed the pace and power to get in behind their defence and the composure to finish one on one. I also enjoyed his tap ins against Arsenal and Man Utd, just because he had the intelligence to be in the positions and stay onside, when not every winger does.

Gordon seems to be a cracking lad too. It’s evident that he’s happy to make time for fans and that – as far as we can ever really know – he absolutely loves the club. Then there’s the charity work, visiting sick children and just generally making their day. And of course touches like leaving money behind the bar at The Strawberry can’t be ignored either!

The future is inevitably bright for Anthony Gordon. A fixture for both club and country and fully settled too. Hopefully, he can rediscover the form from last season soon – although 2 goals in 10 this season is hardly bad – and help to get us up that table!

Thoughts on Gordon so far at Newcastle?

Teaching: I’ve been on a course…

This week, as a work thing, I did something that I haven’t done for years. So long in fact, that I really can’t remember how many years it’s been, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it’s been well over a decade. I went out on a course.

I’ve long had an aversion to courses. I’m not good around new people and really can’t be bothered trailing to anywhere different with all the navigation issues that it can create. And that’s before you get to the chaos that going out on a course can create. You leave behind a classroom full of resources and a day’s worth of classes doing – or simply not even attempting – all of the work you’ve spent time creating and then setting for them. So basically, your room is at the mercy of whoever’s covering your lessons and a load of students frothing at the mouth at the prospect of you not being there. A course you say? I’ll just stay at work, if it’s all the same.

There was no avoiding this though. Firstly, I’m at a new school and so keen to make a good impression. But secondly, this was a course for mentors and I needed to be there in order to learn how to use the software that I’ll be working with as mentor to a new teacher or an ECT as I’m required to call them nowadays.

I started the day by making the kind of mistake I’ve previously laughed heartily at in others. Yes, I didn’t check the dress code, meaning I was the only person to turn up in a shirt and tie! Oh, the horror as I walked in! I almost wore a suit though, so I was relieved that I could just quietly rid myself of my tie and not look too stiff in amongst the sea of hoodies and jeans.

There were plusses though. I got to leave the house later, meaning more time to lounge about over breakfast, the course didn’t start until later than work, we got a free lunch and then we were treated to an early finish, so it turned out to be not so bad.

However, the whole experience left me with a number of questions as well as wanting to share a few observations too…

The first thing that occurred to me was the name of the thing. They’re no longer courses, apparently. No, now we go on conferences. So when did that change? And why? It’s clearly the way things are these days, with academy chains running things like businesses and referring to people on courses as ‘delegates’. Ridiculous, really. I mean there were around 30 of us sat in a classroom watching and taking notes as two presenters talked us through some slides. It didn’t feel like what I imagined a conference to be. I thought conferences were about ‘networking’ (perish the thought and pass me the sick bag) and maybe standing around drinking wine and being waited upon with nibbles. I got to sit at a desk and settled for jacket potato with cheese and beans for dinner! Not even a warm plastic cup of chardonnay in sight!

The school we were at was one that I used to drive past daily for a decade. I actually imagined that one day I’d work there. It was a short commute for me and had a name that conjured up far more positive and idyllic images than the reality. Now though, following some dark days for them, they’ve knocked it down and rebuilt the place and I have to say, it was an impressive building. It’s nice to see that money is being spent in education…if only we could recruit more teachers.

Even a brand spanking new building has its drawbacks though. For about the first hour of being there, every few minutes the sound of gushing water would interrupt us. No one had any idea where it was from, but boy did it sound close. Very off-putting, I can tell you! I was sure that we were going to get soaked at any time! And then there was the school bell. I say bell, but it sounded like the kind of alarm you expect would signal an approaching apocalypse. And it just seemed to go off so often! A ‘conference’ with the threat of drowning or zombie panic. It’s no wonder it’s taken me so long to get back out there!

While watching our presenters go about…well, presenting, it struck me that this was the kind of job I’d have liked. I love the showing off aspect of my work and have always loved giving assemblies or running training for staff, so I’d like a bit of that there presenting I reckon. But then, it occurred to me that I’d be very worried about the amount of questions I’d have to fumble an answer for and that I’d probably really just want to be telling stories and doing dad jokes – not what your average ‘delegate’ wants in these corporate heavy days of education. Maybe I’ll stick to the classroom after all!

The two presenters we had were very good and yet still my abiding memories of them talking to us revolved around their language choices. No sweary Marys, don’t worry, but just using phrases I’d either never heard before or just hadn’t heard in years. Firstly, one of them kept saying ‘Hell’s Bells’, which I thought had died out years ago and then the other referred to students as being like ‘giddy little kippers’, which really threw me as the only kippers I’ve ever encountered were dead and being offered up as part of guest house breakfasts. So, not giddy at all. But all was forgotten and forgiven when one of them kept using the word ‘twiggle’, which I’d never heard. Going on the context of use, I worked out it must be a verb meaning to change something slightly, like to ‘tweak’. But twiggle seems like a great word and I’d encourage all 14 people who read this to start using it immediately!

In the afternoon though, an old ghost returned to haunt me. Every so often in teaching someone latches on to a person who’s had an idea and set themselves up as some kind of guru. It’s particularly irksome, because almost every idea is recycled from years before and these people aren’t reinventing any wheels. Anyway, just after dinner, there he was smugly standing there jabbering on about something I wasn’t listening to on a video. I won’t mention his name (it’s not even a proper name), but suffice to say it soured those few minutes until he disappeared again!

Overall though, despite my reservations, I had a pretty good day and actually learnt some stuff. Best of all? It was the compliments. I genuinely think that I’m a hopeless mentor and yet still the presenters told us on several occasions, “you are all amazing” as well as referring to us regularly as “special”. I must remember to tell my wife!