It’s been a while since I wrote any poetry. Anything complete, that is. There are several pages of notes and drafts in various notebooks and on my phone, as it goes and I definitely need to find time to get some of them finished. I know that there are notes and stuff because I’ve just looked. Every so often when I look I find one that I remember little or nothing about, although they’re usually from some stage of my time at home recovering from heart surgery last year.
Today’s poem is one of them. On first view it looked more or less complete, but once I read it again I made a few changes and additions and came up with what’s below. It’s a poem about the frustration of the every day routine, when the every day routine is slow, dull and painful.
Routine
As the gulls cry above
they seem to mock you,
gliding as they do, freely,
uninterrupted across another slate grey sky
almost laughing at the state you're in.
Beneath there is no flight, no such freedom
as you struggle through the curtained drizzle,
checking your pulse, taking deep breath after deep breath,
careful to slow your steps
and evermore conscious of how helpless you must look,
knowing that you will collapse like a man at the end of a month long expedition,
somewhat gasping and groaning at your discomfort,
but trying to hide your fatigue
as you return indoors
where only the slow death march of daytime TV
and snacking await.
The beard, the boredom and the bitterness
that come with early onset uselessness slowly grow,
the ticking of every clock in the place
the only soundtrack to both your thoughts and your days,
while you sit, restless, clueless about how this all came to pass.
I’ve no idea when this was written. It could have been any of several weeks where I just couldn’t see an end to the weakness and fatigue that I felt. What I do know is that I felt angry. Livid at the fact that while having a pacemaker fitted was undoubtedly essential for me, it came with no real warning. I never would have suspected that the palpitations and dizziness I’d been experiencing on and off for months would have needed anything more than tablets to be sorted out. Maybe that’s why I’m an English teacher and not a cardiologist!
While I’m still a little angry and frustrated, the days of freezing cold, lonely walks are long gone. And while I’m not as healthy as I’d like to be, I’m a lot better than whenever this was written.
I’m gradually coming to terms with the changes that surgery has brought about and slowly recovering, although I think it’s going to be a lot longer before I feel quite myself again. So the poem is reflective of the kind of bleak times that I rarely, if ever seem to have anymore, but it intrigued me when I found it.
Anyway, I hope it made for a decent, interesting read! Feel free to leave a comment.
I must admit to a tiny bit of a crisis of confidence before writing this latest article. I mean, who wants to read my ramblings about a programme they’ve inevitably already watched? But then I remembered that there are shed loads of grown adults out there who video themselves watching live football, swearing their heads off and acting like babies for all the world to see. So with so little to lose, I wrote the article!
If ever there was a collection of images that sums up the change in Newcastle United since October 2021 it’s there for all to see in episode 3. Granted, one side of the images isn’t here, but is undoubtedly etched in the mind of all of us. I talk of course of the players taking ice baths in wheelie bins and paddling pools during Mike Ashley’s reign. In this episode though we see the enormous changes in recovery technology brought to Newcastle by the new regime with a glimpse of the new hydro therapy pool. The difference is massive and the progress is there for all to see. Professional athletes being treated like professional athletes; who knew that this might help?
Later in the episode, while visiting Atlanta ahead of the Premier League Summer Series, Darren Eales refers to Newcastle as ‘a 130 year old start up’ creating a stark image of what the new owners must have found when they first arrived. Graeme Robson of Wor Flags later talks candidly about the fact that the new money can’t be ignored, but really all we wanted was for the club to be run properly. Not very convenient for the narrative touted by a lot of the media, but the truth all the same and a truth that ‘We Are Newcastle United’ needed to convey.
In this episode the players and the fans move more into focus. We start with Alexander Isak’s brace against Forest away and are reminded of the karate kick finish for the first. A hell of a goal and a hell of a start to what I must say has been my favourite episode so far.
As we move on to the build up to the home game against Manchester United it’s hugely positive. For me, the insight into the small touches by Eddie Howe are really interesting. Just things like greeting every player as they arrive at the training ground – ‘How’s that knee, Joe?’ – and then the enthusiasm on the training pitch and the encouragement – ‘Yes Cal…love that Callum’ are just lovely. I’m not naïve enough to think it’s anything special either, but you get the feeling that this is relentless from Howe and his staff. I, for one, would thrive hearing that type of thing every day.
Later in the show, when asked about the Carabao Cup Final defeat, Eddie tells the interviewer that ‘Any defeat you have is always in there, somewhere.’ Again, it’s the attention to detail and the steely determination that we all love, especially when defeats under the last regime were greeted with unwanted days off for the players and impromptu holidays for the manager. Not every time – no one can afford that many holidays – but enough so that every time that Eddie speaks you admire him just a little bit more. Although after a while, I’d have to tell him that my name’s not actually Callum…
Next there’s a focus on the lads and lasses at Wor Flags with an insight into their work and the preparation that went into the huge surfer flag that covered the bottom tier of the Leazes. Firstly, this serves to show the dedication of the fans – from those that donate money to make it all possible to the volunteers who put everything in place and organise the whole thing. Secondly though, it confirms that I’d be absolutely no use to them. While they’re unfolding, hauling and precisely positioning flags that cover almost an entire stand and weigh half a tonne, I still have to have my wife guide me through the folding up of a picnic blanket. I guess there are levels to this kind of thing, but it serves to illustrate the passion and dedication that is felt around Newcastle United.
As episode 3 rolls on to the Manchester United match, it’s hard to imagine the stadium looking any better and while some of the camera work is very much reminiscent of shows like The Apprentice, it’s very much appreciated. St. James’ Park is always an impressive sight and a thing of beauty but the documentary really celebrates the place here. The surfer flag looks incredible, but Wor Flags member Graeme’s excitement and pride is arguably even better.
This was by far the most emotional episode so far for me personally. I know lots of people said that the cup final footage brought them to tears, but not me. However, seeing the scenes in the dressing room both before the Manchester United game and at half time almost makes me crack.
Callum Wilson’s story later on, adds to the raw emotion and gives us an intriguing insight into not just the player, but the man and what makes him tick. The smile is infectious and instant, almost making it hard to imagine what he has gone through to get to this stage. But then key words like ‘turmoil’ and ‘adversity’ dominate during the visit to his old school and for me it serves to show that Callum Wilson found not just a football club, but a home when he joined Newcastle United. Wilson has played a massive part in its upturn, yet even in these more positive times he’s quick to flag up the importance of hunger and anger in achieving his goals. And I think it’s quite a neat parallel to the anger and determination of the fans in almost forcing change a couple of years ago.
And then, alongside some beautiful sweeping shots of the stadium and the odd bridge, we hear from some of the fans about the importance of Newcastle United. Again, there’s a big contrast here. Firstly, a Hindu fan speaks beautifully about the club being ‘the great equaliser in the city’ and how, when the time comes, he wants to be reincarnated as a Newcastle fan. Then we hear from 4 primary age kids, perched on a wall and one of them reflects about his sadness at the season ending soon, but that ‘summer’ll be good…wi’ hot tubs and that’. I’d like to think that they both speak for us all in their own way!
Speaking of speaking for us all, I’m sure I’ll be doing just that when I say that Anthony Gordon’s enquiries about pillows had us all on the edge of our seats. After already packing in quite a bit of drama, Gordon’s sleepy time enquiries promise to ramp it up another notch. Pillowgate turns out to be a bit of a let down though, with no one bar Anthony himself giving a shit. Even Nick Pope’s revelation that he sleeps with a pillow between his legs falls strangely flat. Still, if anyone was ever curious about how many pillows the likes of Gordon and Tripps sleep with, they got their answer.
At the end of the episode we get to re-live the remarkable events of the Spurs game. An extraordinary performance that will live long in the memory of every fan. As the goals flow and a rival is thoroughly humiliated the voiceover states, ‘What a time to be a Newcastle United fan’. I’ll drink to that and look forward to episode 4, but before I do, I have a question.
Has anybody else noticed the woman in the opening credits – and she’s there at the Spurs game too – arms aloft in celebration just shouting ‘No…no’? See, some of us are so wrapped up in the joy of this club that we forget how to celebrate. Newcastle United, that.
I know that lots will view this programme as mere PR – and they’d have a case too -but I for one, am thoroughly enjoying it. Thus, from the moment the ever engaging Amanda Staveley states that “the city is just alive” I’m invested in episode 2. Call me simple, but I just love watching things I love on the telly!
Episode 2 covers the awkward subject of the Carabao Cup final; its build up and the actual game itself. And while I understand that the focus of the show is on the boardroom – or Alnwick Castle as it’s known in these circles – I think the episode suffered a little bit by not covering slightly more in terms of the fans here. Surely there were more stories to be told given the length of time between out last and latest appearances at Wembley? But perhaps I’m being hyper critical because actually, I think the story that was told, was told very well.
From the moment a Toon fan expertly catapults the wire attached to the giant Newcastle top over the shoulder of the Angel of The North, we’re getting a flavour of what this all means. No other fans mess about with Antony Gormley’s statues in the way that we do! In between various Geordies telling us of their excitement there are sections of board meetings and it displays just how tirelessly Staveley and the gang are working to take the club forward. It made me laugh when Peter Silverstone said that they’ve contacted 1193 companies in their pursuit of a shirt sponsor as I’m guessing that Lee Charnley was working at slightly different levels when he got Fun88 to part with a few million.
As a seasoned telly watcher, I also think that I may have uncovered how the series ends. The key is in Amanda Staveley referring to literally everyone as ‘my angel’. With this in mind, I’m now wondering if the last one will end a la Spartacus, with first Callum Wilson, then Eddie Howe, Miggy, Bruno, the tea lady, several of the ball boys and girls and all of Wor Flags claiming “No, I’m Amanda’s angel” before finally everyone agrees that in actual fact it’s Bruno’s dad that’s Amanda’s angel…and everybody else’s by the looks of things in this episode. Sorry, if that becomes a spoiler, by the way.
Suddenly though, it’s cup final day and we hear what it means to the local lads in the squad. Dan Burn tells us about going to games and worshipping Shearer – I’m Alan’s angel, by the way Dan – before making an impassioned dressing room speech, but it’s not that that impressed me. No, I was more impressed by the slow-mo shot of Big Dan rising to make a defensive header in training, which only needed a bit of David Attenborough over the top of it in order to be awarded a Bafta, in my opinion. I’m not ashamed to say it, but I think it made me fall a little bit in love with Blyth’s finest.
Other highlights included the old lad in the pub who told his mate, “Peter, if it’s 1-0…I wouldn’t be able to to do anything. I’d be pissed out me brains!” I think it summed it up for a lot of us who simply can’t put into words how much some success would mean. Get that lad a statue, I say!
Episode 2 also gave mackems the first chance to play their inevitable game of ‘FTM Bingo’ with one Newcastle fan referring to the Geordie Nation and then some Sam Fender played underneath a section of the show at one point. Still not enough for them to get a line, let alone a full house though, so no doubt they’ll be sat there with their dobbers in hand, salivating again next week…some might say as usual!
Watching the footage of the Carabao Cup final didn’t feel emotional for me and I know that from social media some people have said that they shed a few tears. Sure, it was a tough watch to see various faces going through the emotions and people like Dan Burn just gazing forlornly into the crowd at the end. For me though I thought that the show covered it well and in fact, it just made me think that those lads will remember that feeling, as we all will and we’ll be better next time. And there will be a next time.
After that we were back with the big guns on the board, with Peter Silverstone taking us into the commercial department, which was illuminating about the state the club had been left in. The revelation that we only have about 40 staff charged with bringing in commercial income whereby a club like Arsenal have around 150 is the kind of detail that us ordinary fans probably never think about, but it illustrates perfectly the amount of catching up the club have got to do.
And then we were privvy to a Zoom call where catching up was the whole agenda with the announcement of the Sela deal and the fact that we were finally earning more than just enough to cover Mike Ashley’s crisp budget from our front of shirt sponsor.
The episode ended on a happy note with the victory over Wolves and the season getting back on track. I have a feeling that Miggy was Amanda Staveley’s special angel that day.
So, now we’re set up for episode 3 and an incredible upturn in results and performances, as well as the emergence of Eddie Howe channeling Rab C Nesbitt and swearing like a trooper. It’s safe to say I’m really enjoying the show and actually, even though fans or players aren’t really the stars here, it’s an interesting take on the club. There’s still not enough Jacob Murphy, mind you…
From the moment of hearing the first whispers of an Amazon documentary about Newcastle United, I was worried. As a hugely superstitious football fan I couldn’t see anything but trouble. I had no wish for the drama that has always had a habit of following Newcastle United around to be broadcast to millions. However, with our neighbours down the road seemingly cornering the market in cringeworthy football telly, perhaps there was some hope after all. And of course, this is a very different Newcastle United nowadays.
So it was that I sat down in front of ‘We Are Newcastle United’ feeling pretty optimistic, really. I mean, it helps when you know the ending, I suppose, but I was genuinely looking forward to it. So much so, that I thought I’d do a little bit of a review.
Obviously as a Toon fan, I was always going to feel positive about this. The takeover, multiple excellent signings, Wor Flags, Eddie Howe and Jason Tindall and a modicum of success…this was set to be a good watch. And so it proved, with footage of the takeover, signings, Wor Flags, you see where this is going… Wonderful stuff.
The focus of the episode (and it seems the series) was very much the board, while the team, the club, the fans and the community around it would all have a starring role somewhat organically. Hearing Amanda Staveley’s views within the first few minutes made for a heartwarming start. Her talk of falling in love with the club and that spine tingling feeling of being around St. James’ Park very much echoes how we feel as fans and while I understand that this could easily be viewed as simple soundbites aimed at currying favour with the fans, it just didn’t come across that way.
Amanda Staveley comes across as warm, passionate and genuine. The kind of person you’d want looking after something you’ve cherished for years, really. In fact, it felt that way with everyone involved, from Staveley, Yassir Al Rumayyan, through Mehrdad Ghodoussi, Jamie Rueben and even people like Darren Eales. This seems to be an ownership where everyone buys in, everyone supports.
For the rest of the 55 minutes of the episode, Staveley came across as a natural for the job and one of the stars of the show. Knowledgeable, smart, eloquent and sharp as a tack, I for one was left in no doubt about her authenticity and she was a pleasure to watch. And while it would be easy to get carried away by lingering shots of the stadium, the bridges and the flags, that wasn’t the case for me. The passion and authenticity of the owners was there for all to see, with the footage of the fab four – Mehrdad, Amanda, Yassir and Jamie – at the Liverpool game, particularly intriguing. Fans, that’s what I saw. No one mugging for the camera, just supporters bitterly disappointed at the result.
So what else caught my eye and made episode 1 worth a watch? Well, firstly there was Eddie Howe; always focused, always understated and telling the camera that “We’ve achieved nothing, yet” which is both factually correct, if you’re looking for trophies and the like, as well as being the kind of pragmatic, determined approach we’ve come to expect. Certainly, when compared to his predecessor’s ‘ticking over’ approach, Eddie makes for cracking viewing. And of course, we’ve yet to see his sweary Mary side!
The there was the trip to Riyadh and the chairman inviting 100 people over to his house! We’d have had to do that in stages and probably over two or three nights! I might have had to rescue the gazebo from the shed and wrestle that back up as well! It seems that the club have come a long way since the days of Money Mike taking advantage of 2 for 1 pizza offers in local restaurants. His Excellency must have one hell of a semi-detached, mind!
I enjoyed the mini focus on Sean Longstaff as well and of course it was spine tingling to replay the night of the Carabao Cup semi final second leg again. But I think Longstaff came across really well and it was obviously a smart move for the programme to have a ‘local lad made good’ angle. But given what the lad has been through over the last few years, when it looked to be only a matter of time before he left and faded away as another tale of what might have been, this was a heartwarming aspect of the first episode. He paints a mean birdhouse as well and we’d have never known about that without Amazon!
It was great to relive Anthony Gordon’s signing too. A player that I personally have a shedload of belief in. But of course, footage of his signing also brought his one man polo neck tribute to Kraftwerk back into the light too and I for one could never get enough of that.
The episode ended with the sheer raw emotion of the cup semi final win; lots of elated fans, emotional players and Jamie Reuben proving that an expensive private education doesn’t always make you the most eloquent bloke in the taxi. How did he feel on the way to the match? “Nervous, nervous, nervous…nervous” apparently. I shouldn’t laugh because God knows what I’d be like in front of a camera!
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the first episode of ‘We Are Newcastle United’. Of course I did. But bias aside, I thought it was a great watch that portrayed the club and the city really favourably. Yes, it was a little bit slick and stylised at times and maybe not the usual gritty football documentary, but no one’s gone all Charlie Methven or Alan Partridge on us…yet. I’m very much looking forward to the next one.
What do I hope to see in the coming episodes? More Jacob Murphy, naturally, maybe Matt Ritchie making a bug hotel out of broken corner flags with some local young offenders and if possible Adam P calling Chris Wood a ‘big divvy’ when he doesn’t sign his programme.
Star Rating? 5 stars, obviously! A must for all Newcastle fans but a decent watch for football fans everywhere, in my opinion.
It’s been a while since my last Pacemaker Diary entry, so with a bit of time to kill and a few tings to update, I thought I’d write another.
In my last entry, in April, I wrote about hitting a bit of a bump in the road. I’d had to abandon a run, was suffering with dizziness and a general feeling of tiredeness and just generally wasn’t really coping with the whole ‘adjusting to having a pacemaker’ thing. I’d been back at work for around a month and was beginning to feel like I might not make it through to summer.
Well, it’s now summer. Two weeks into the holidays to be precise and while I’m nowhere near as fit and healthy as I had been pre-pacemaker, I’m still slowly getting there. Obviously, this is incredibly frustrating. You might argue that I should have gotten used to how my body feels and reacts to things by now. After all, I had my pacemaker fitted about 9 months ago. But, dear reader, I’m not used to it and that’s all there is to it. Or rather, I am used to it but I still absolutely hate the whole idea of it! It’s wonderful to still be here and I’m eternally grateful to the NHS and the staff at the hospital that helped me through and indeed the ones that still help when I have some kind of appointment, but I can’t change how I feel.
The phrases “I’m getting there” and “It’s just going to take time” have become as much a comfort as they have a pain in the arse, but I have to just keep reminding myself – and sometimes others, who don’t seem to get it – that I am indeed getting there and that this whole process of feeling myself and feeling fit again is jus going to take time! Friends who’ve gone through the same or similar have told me on numerous occasions that they didn’t feel themselves again for a long, long time and I suppose I’m simply finding out about how true that is!
Anyway, enough of the moaning and moping. There are some positives to discuss!
For one, I’m still running. It’s been a while since I had to be mature and force myself to take a break and as a result my fitness is consistently okay. It’s not great, but it’s okay…didn’t Whitney Houston once sing about that or something similar? Perhaps, that’s not a good thing…
I’ve been uncharacteristically sensible about my running for the past 4 or 5 weeks and have built up my distances really steadily. So, perhaps I’m tempering my frustration and anger a little bit after all.
Having completed the Leeds 10k in late June I took a break and haven’t ran that distance since. Instead, when I got back out I settled for running just 5ks for a couple of weeks and then built the distance up from there. I still haven’t managed another 10k run, but I think I will do soon as I’m consistently running over 5 miles. There have been varying results pace-wise, but I’m feeling more than capable of getting round the distance. It’s still reeeaaallly frustrating to see how slow I’ve ran at times, but I just have to cope!
I ran while on holiday recently, taking on some huge hills in North Wales, while receiving curious looks from llamas on a local farm! I ran for 5 miles, finishing on the beach and felt fantastic afterwards, but I made sure that I gave myself lots of recovery time and didn’t go for a second run that week which was a relief and a bit frustrating in equal measure! However, the change of scenery and obvious challenge felt like it did me the world of good.
After every run I’m on to planning my next one and genuinely feeling like I can go further. I was out earlier this week and managed 5.3 miles and I’ll be out again this weekend. I’m hoping that this one can be my first 10k since June, but we’ll see how the body reacts over the next couple of days.
I managed to damage my lower back around a month ago and then just when I felt it was almost better, injured it again. The first time was while leaning out of my chair at work to pick up something I’d dropped and then the second time was while getting something out of a cupboard in the kitchen! Both dangerous and high stakes activities, I’m sure you’ll agree but as frustrating as this is I guess it just comes down to having a battered, middle aged body, so I’ll have to cope!
As part of getting my back better I’ve started doing yoga again. It was something me and my wife did years ago and both felt we benefitted hugely from it. But time constraints and a young family got in the way and it fell by the wayside. However, my wife recently suggested a few moves that might help my back and so yoga is back on the agenda. I’ve only managed a couple of very short sessions with the aid of my phone to keep me right on the positions, but I’m hoping it will start to help with my health. It’s a bit more complicated as anything that means putting weight or pressure on my left hand side results in my pacemaker digging into me, but I’d take that over palpitations and blackouts any time!
I’m also hoping that yoga will help with my mental health. I’ve had lots of support in recovering from surgery and adapting to this new almost constantly fatigued, old body. However, it’s still been incredibly tough and I’ve felt isolated and sad throughout. The running has helped as I’m alone with my thoughts and can resolve a lot of stuff while I’m out. But I’m hoping that yoga – however bitesized it might be – will help me feel a lot calmer and relaxed about things.
So, there we have it. I have my next 10k race planned for October and am wondering about entering another before that. Either way though, I’m just hopeful that I can stay fit and healthy for long enough to feel that I can go back to work again in September feeling a bit brighter about things and then have a real go at the October 10k. As ever though, it’s just nice to still be here, however difficult things might seem and however low I might get at times!
Sunday 30th July is International Friendship Day, so I thought I’d write something about friendship.
So, what exactly is International Friendship Day? Well, it was first brought about by the UN in 2011 with the idea that friendship is the kind of thing that can inspire peace and build bridges between communities. And there was me who just thought friendship was about talking obsessively about football and music, while also cracking as many stupid jokes as I could manage in any given time. But friendship, to me, might just mean recommending a film or a book to someone or sending them a video that I think they might like. Because if that person wasn’t a friend, I wouldn’t read a book, hear a band or see a video and think of them.
So, while the UN thought the day should be about community activities and promoting international understanding and respect for diversity, my goals will always be quite a way more lo-brow than that. It’s a nice idea though, I’m sure you’ll agree (the UN’s, not mine…).
When I found out about International Friendship Day it got me thinking about the whole idea of friendship and what kind of friend I am.
First and foremost, I think I’m mainly a long distance friend as through a combination of circumstance and bad luck a lot of the friends I made in my younger years live nowhere near me anymore! Perhaps I should take the hint! However, not only did I move away from my home town in my twenties but a number of the friends I then subsequently made have since moved away from where we live. And they haven’t moved away to another part of town; some have moved continents away, making it very difficult for me to be what I’d call a ‘proper’ friend.
As well as the distance impairing my attempts at friendship, there’s the fact that I’m absolutely terrible at keeping in touch. I think I have an aversion to phone calls brought about by working in a call centre in my younger years, but I’m even pretty poor at texting or sending emails. These are the type of things that I tell myself I’ll do ‘later’ and then never get around to. Time after time after time.
I do think I have my good points as a friend. I’d like to think that I’m reasonably good at putting a smile on people’s faces and I’m definitely there if ever a friend is in need. I’m actually a good listener, even though I’m sure I give off the kind of signals that say ‘Do not talk to me!’. I try to remember things like birthdays, so that even at a distance I can let friends know that I’m thinking about them. And I am thinking of them. I’m just terrible at keeping in touch, which in turn probably makes everyone think that it’s always them that’s doing the chasing.
Friendship to me means shared interests and the knowledge that myself or my friends don’t need to try very hard. I’m not about to end a friendship because someone hasn’t been in touch in a while and thankfully neither are my friends, otherwise I’d literally have none left! Of the good friends I retain, I know that I can go ages without speaking to them – and most likely will, given the type of friend I can be – but the minute we meet up everything will be ace again within minutes.
Friendship means putting smiles on faces and I’d like to think I’m pretty good at that. If anyone’s a fan of a daft laugh, then it’s me. At work, I like to send silly emails to my friends because I know it’ll make some, if not all of them laugh and I think that’s the role I play a lot of the time. With friends outside of work, it might be a text or a WhatsApp message that I know will make them smile, because it’s the kind of thing we’ve been joking about for years. Class clown? You betcha! Sometimes there’s no better feeling than putting smiles on faces.
Friendship has been important to me over the past 9 months or so, while I’ve been ill. Lots of mates have checked in on me on a regular basis, which has been really comforting and people have been quick to let me know that I wasn’t alone in all that I was going through. Lots of friends have helped me cope with the frustration of recovery and kept reminding me about exactly what I’ve been through and exactly how well I was doing, despite my own pessimism. And I suppose today is as good a time as any to remind them of how thankful I am for them being there. So, cheers lads and lasses!
So, while I won’t be spending the day in some kind of organised event, like the UN would want, I will be vowing to make more effort with my mates. I’ll be sure to drop a few messages to some people saying hello, reminding them that I’m still alive and checking in on how they’re doing too. And with 5 weeks still to go before I go back to work and a new academic year, perhaps there’s time for a few meet ups too!
So, enjoy International Friendship Day and maybe check in on your own friends. Ask how they’re doing, what they’re up to or maybe even organise a meet up, if you haven’t seen them in a while. Tell them I sent you!
So, after much speculation, Allan Saint-Maximin has left the building. In truth, it’s been on the cards since the moment he walked in given our previous owner’s fondness for selling players on at a profit, but it’s something that will take a lot of our fanbase a lot of getting used to.
A funny one, Maxi. Surely there isn’t one of us who hasn’t gasped or cried out at a piece of sublime skill that he’s just performed. Maxi did that; he made impossible things seem possible at times and he had the gift of getting football fans out of their seats. That said, he’s undoubtedly been equal parts frustrating over the years too. So for all the gasps at his brilliance, there have been plenty of groans of frustration. But you’ve got to take the rough with the smooth as Newcastle fan, haven’t you.
Saint-Maximin arrived at the club as an £16.5m signing from Nice. He came with a reputation as a bit of a maverick and there were rumours that he could be quite a difficult character. One thing was for sure; with the hair and the Gucci headband he definitely stood out. I remember at the time doing something I don’t often do and searching out his clips on YouTube, then watching him run almost the length of the field before scoring for Nice. And while I’m not one to buy into hype too much, I did think that we might well have a bit of a player on our hands!
Those rumours of being a difficult character never really surfaced at Newcastle and within a couple of months it became clear that Allan was a calm, rational and eloquent young man as well as an outrageously gifted footballer. As a fan I took to him straight away, but there was always a frustration with him too. For every incredible bit of skill or screamer of a goal, there was also the frequent sight of Maxi sat on his backside, arms aloft, complaining about something or other while simultaneously not helping out the team.
Although he was signed by Steve Bruce, he was never a Bruce signing, if you see what I mean. Clearly, this was a deal long in the making and had been decided on long before Bruce darkened our doors. And from the word go, it felt like Bruce didn’t have a clue what to do with Maxi.
For the most part of his four seasons with the club, Maxi was the only light in the tunnel that felt like it might never end. While Bruce rejected anything resembling tactics in favour of us lumping the ball in the general direction of either Maxi or Callum Wilson so that they could bail us out of trouble, Maxi was often, in many ways, the only reason to watch us play.
Looking back many fans will point to moments such as Maxi terrorising Kyle Walker and co at the start of last season in the 3-3 draw with eventual treble winners Manchester City, in my opinion there were lots of more impressive highlights. His goal against Burnley at the end of the 21-22 season immediately springs to mind as he received the ball in the centre circle and then just dribbled and dribbled towards goal. Just when you thought he’d probably lost the chance there was one last cut back before a shot was arrowed into the back of the net. His volley at Wolves last season to rescue a point was also something else and his goal in a captivating game against Leeds in 2021, when he dribbled across the box before firing the ball into the opposite corner will live long in my memory. But there were always ridiculous bits of skill and while they weren’t always game changing, they were enough to get you out of your seat in an era where many who’d attended St. James’ Park were simply vacating theirs.
At times, Maxi was a one man team. If he couldn’t do it, invariably nobody else could. And that’s not to deride other talent in the team, but when Saint-Maximin was in the mood he was often unplayable.
Ultimately, I think it’s a shame that he’s leaving, although I understand the reasoning. He’s not a guaranteed starter these days and thus becomes a saleable asset. I think injuries have cost him dear and in the cold light of day, because he’s not always fit, we can’t depend on him. Eddie Howe will look at players like Elliot Anderson, Anthony Gordon and, if the inevitable happens, Harvey Barnes and be able to see that we’ve got more than adequate cover. Barnes’ record of goals and assists is well documented and surely even the most hardened of Saint-Maximin fans will be able to accept a similar record at Newcastle.
When so many of us were falling out of love with the game and maybe even the club, Maxi continued to call us back and force our hand into giving it another chance. The football romantic in me is gutted at the thought of not seeing him in our colours anymore. But modern football moves fast and Maxi is simply a victim of that movement.
For many kids starting their NUFC journeys Maxi will be the hero that they’ll possibly never forget. The first name they had on the back of a shirt and a modern day Ben Arfa, Cole, Shearer, Beardsley, or Supermac, if you’re a little bit older, although not quite in the same class as those mentioned. And it’ll take a little bit of getting used to not seeing that distinctive dribbling style, the jewellery, the headband and let’s not forget the bandages in black and white. For what it’s worth, I think he’s a player that was made for the Champions League, but I don’t think we’ll suffer by not having him there. I’d place far more importance on players like Isak, Trippier, Bruno and Tonali in terms of how we do in Europe.
Maxi’s legacy is that he was a player who made memories and allowed us some hope. A player that in some small way might just have saved the club when it was at its lowest ebb. I for one think there’s a great deal to thank Allan Saint- Maximin for.
To quote Shakespeare; “parting is such sweet sorrow”. In other words, it’s sad to see Maxi leave, but we’ll have other heroes to rely on. So, don’t get upset and start ranting on social media about tactics and other players that you think should have been sold. Just enjoy the fact that Allan Saint-Maximin gave every Newcastle supporters some fantastic memories and moments of joy to hang on to. As well as a popular board game and the odd expensive watch! Thanks for lighting up the darkness, Maxi.
So, the summer holidays are almost upon us and parents everywhere are facing up to a big shift in their routine. Soon, you’ll no longer be packing the kids off to school before finally finding some time to breath in a morning that’s probably already felt like it was an entire day. Soon, those kids are all yours again for a hectic 6 week period!
So, what can you do to fill those long hours? Well, I might just have some useful and hopefully affordable solutions.
My children are both a bit older now and so we don’t get to go to some of the types of places that I’ll list, but the first one is still popular, despite my eldest now being 17.
Farm parks are always a winner with kids. Obviously there are always plenty of animals to look at and at some of the parks you can even let your little (or big) ones pet the animals. Such is their popularity that lots of farm parks have expanded over the last decade or so and include a wide range of experiences for your kids to enjoy, like tractor rides, sheep racing, adventure play grounds and even mini golf.
Farm Parks are very much a growing industry and as such can be found all over the country. We have Cannon Hall Farm down in Barnsley, which is only about a half hour drive away and it’s absolutely fantastic for kids, making it very popular indeed. My daughter still insists we go every summer, even though she’s just turned 17 and my almost 14-year-old son always enjoys himself too.
A quick Google search showed me that there are enticing farm parks in almost every region and Trip Advisor lists some of the best as being in the Cotswolds, Essex, West Yorkshire, Stratford, Devon and Shropshire. There are plenty to choose from in both Wales and Scotland too.
Prices vary and a good tip is to visit on a weekday when many parks reduce their rates. Our local one at Cannon Hall only charges £6.95 for adults and children over 2 on weekdays, meaning a family day out for under £30, which is brilliant!
Den Building. This is something I’ve written about before and it’s always a winner with kids. It’s free too! Just get yourself along to your local woods, pick a spot to build a den and then get the kids scavenging for materials to build with. Make sure that you’re not breaking branches off trees though! Lots of places regularly trim their tress though, meaning that if you keep your eyes out there’ll be a ready supply of logs and branches to build with. Combine your den building with a walk through the forest and maybe even a picnic and you’ve got at least a fun few hours out for everyone. And if you’re not sure where to start there are some den building tips on the link below.
Picnics! The idea of eating outdoors – or just anywhere that’s not a table – is always exciting for children. So, knock up whatever your kids love to eat – usually some sandwiches, sausage rolls, fruit, juice and a few sweet treats for ours – and head to the park. You could fill a bit of time on the swings or even liven up your day with some games. I bought a plastic and foam baseball set (bat and ball) in Asda years ago and it’s provided hours of fun for us as a family playing a hybrid game of rounders and cricket. We still use it now when we head to places like Roundhay Park, in fact! All that fresh air and running around never fails to help them sleep and a decent picnic ensures full tummies too!
Plodging! Plodging, I hear you ask. Well, let me educate you a little bit. Plodging is in fact the art of wandering around in a body of water and kids absolutely love it. My two loved being able to get their wellies on and go in the streams of our local country parks and in fact, they awarded me a trophy not long ago and I reckon my role in their plodging history was what earned it for me.
The coveted ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ glasses case really is the big one in the dad awards world!
Obviously you have to keep a close eye on them, but it’s always fun. You can even go in with them, especially if they’re younger, but it’s about common sense, I suppose. Stick to the shallows and don’t let anyone get too adventurous! You could make things more interesting seeing who can find the shiniest rocks or best shells if you’re at the seaside or even come back out and try skimming stones. And don’t knock grabbing rocks, by the way; my son used to love doing this and amassed quite the collection as the years went by! I think he might even still have some!
Museums. Museums provide an excellent experience for kids. And many of them are totally free! The best bit is that the UK has loads of museums covering a wealth of different subject matter, so there’s sure to be something for your kids.
My home town of Newcastle has both the Discovery Museum and the Great North Museum, as well as Beamish, The Living Museum of The North slightly further afield, while where I live now in Yorkshire we have Eureka, The National Children’s Museum, the National Film and Photography Museum, the Leeds Museum, The Thackray Medical Museum, The Royal Armouries, as well as the Railway Museum in York and lots of others.
While doing some research for the article, I also discovered the wonderful Manchester Museum, the brilliant Kelham Island Museum in Sheffield, the Coventry Transport Museum, The National Football Museum in Manchester, The National Museum of Scotland, The North Lincolnshire Museum in Scunthorpe, The Blaise Castle House Museum in Bristol and the Pitt Rivers Museum in Oxford. The list could go on and on and we haven’t even looked at London!
Lots of museums nowadays are interactive and child friendly, so it’s not just a couple of hours of staring at objects in glass cases, which might well bore even the most patient of children. From descending down an old mineshaft in one of a surprising number of mining museums that we have, to riding around cobbled streets on a tram or old trolley bus at Beamish, there are a whole host of options to explore and there’s sure to be a fantastic museum near you.
The Beach. Surrounded by water as we are here in the UK, lots of us are lucky enough to have a beach somewhere that’s reasonably close. Living in Leeds, we’re very much landlocked and the likes of Scarborough and Bridlington are a good hour and a half drive away, so days out at the beach are few and far between. But we are able to recreate the beach experience at places like Bolton Abbey where we can sit at the side of the river and safely plodge, if needed!
The beach always has something to do though and it’s generally relatively inexpensive. You could dig holes, build sandcastles, go rock-pooling, play bat and ball or even hold a beach Olympics and it’s going to cost you very little, especially if you’re lucky enough to live close to the sea. Just make sure that you check out the weather forecast in advance!
Country Parks. Again, living in Yorkshire we’re blessed with quite a few of these nearby and they still provide a good day out with our kids, even at the cynical, moody ages they’re at now!
Many country parks have play areas, adventure playgrounds, trails to walk and other fun to be had, but really a day at the park is exactly what you make it. We would always take stuff to do; a kite, bats and balls, a football and even an insect hunting kit at one stage! Younger ones can even just be told they’re going exploring and they’ll enjoy the mystery of that…as long as you add some drama. The link below picks out some of the best ones in the UK.
So hopefully there’s a bit of inspiration there that helps you or yours out this summer. It can feel like a long time to be with your children day in, day out, but it can be made more than memorable with a little bit of thought. And as you can see, it doesn’t have to cost the earth either!
Our academy system has been a puzzle to me for many years now. Set up to take the cream of talent in the area and turn them into Premier League footballers, it has rarely covered itself in glory. There have been successes, of course with players like Sean Longstaff and to an extent Elliot Anderson being our more recent. But there have been so many false dawns and so many bright hopes that promised much, but ultimately failed to deliver.
One such example was brought to my attention recently by the fact that he was released by one of my local clubs, Huddersfield Town, down here in West Yorkshire. So, what happened to Rolando Aarons? And what could have been?
Having joined the club in 2012 from Bristol City’s academy, Aarons spent some time in our academy sides before making his first team debut as a substitute at the start of the 2014 Premier League season. In the game against Crystal Palace a couple of weeks later, Aarons really made his mark, scoring and assisting in a 3-3 draw. Described by then manager Alan Pardew as “the kind of player fans love”, Aarons looked set for a very bright future and it seemed that we’d unearthed a real gem. Here was an attacking player with skill, flair, power and pace; someone who would make the fans sit up and take notice and – as he’d sort of come through the academy – one of our own as well.
Amazingly though, he would then go on to make only 10 starts over the next 5 seasons, with substitute appearances bringing him to a total of 27 appearances in that whole time.
In 2016, Rolando signed a 5 year contract with Newcastle as the club put their faith in this bright young star. He was 20 at the time and we were preparing for a season in the Championship where Aarons could have played a big part in our campaign. By October of that year though Aarons had been involved in what was described as “a wild west brawl” while out celebrating his son’s first birthday and the controversy would drag on until over a year later when he was sentenced to a 10 month jail term that was suspended for 12 months.
In the season that the brawl happened he made just one start with controversy hanging over him and persistent injuries hampering him throughout the season. Then, in our next season back in the Premier League he once more managed only the single start.
Something had to give as we started 2018 and it was decided that a change of tack was best for the player. So, he was sent out on loan. In fact, during his time at Newcastle, Rolando was sent out on loan on 5 occasions to Verona in Italy, Slovan Liberec in the Czech Republic, Sheffield Wednesday, Wycombe and Motherwell. In those spells he made 48 appearances and again, never really made an impact because of injuries.
Rolando Aarons’ story is the quite a sobering one. Here was a young player with tons of natural ability and in both Pardew and Benitez, he had managers who believed in him. But all we ever saw of him were fleeting glimpses; yet enough to suggest that he could go on to be a top player. In fact, early on in his career he was compared to Raheem Sterling in terms of stature and ability, but sadly, he never lived up to that promise.
In two years with Huddersfield Town he made just 11 starts. Even then, friends of mine who support the Terriers talked of a player who obviously had huge ability. And while – again – there were glimpses of said ability, his time in Yorkshire just didn’t work out. A loan last season at Motherwell ended up being cut short and by the end of the season Rolando was released. As I write, he’s still without a club. No longer the bright young prospect, Aarons is now 27 years old and should be reaching his prime.
Rolando Aarons looked to be one of the stand out academy graduates of recent history and there were many of us who thought he’d go on to play an important part in the future of the club at a time when Mike Ashley was refusing to invest. With pace and skill being much needed requirements in the modern game it felt like he had a real chance of going all the way to the top, but it wasn’t to be .To hear of the latest setback in his career is very sad indeed.
Every once in a while I like to write these blogs, mainly to remind myself that in amongst all of the reasons to moan about life, there’s always something to smile about. It’s nice to send some positivity out to readers too though. We all need to moment to smile about, don’t we?
So, what was turning the frown upside down in June then?
The weather. I don’t know about where you live, but here in the UK, in our little corner of West Yorkshire, it was wonderfully sunny for a while. The British joke about this, of course, is that we spend most of our year complaining that it’s too wet or too cold only to then complain that it’s too hot when we get our annual 5 day heatwave! It seems the weather gods can’t win! However, the sunny weather made me smile. And while it doesn’t make running or working in the garden any easier, it does make the whole place look better. We had a few afternoons spent just sitting, reading and chatting in our back garden and the colours are fantastic. And then you look up and see a clear, vividly blue sky. How could you not smile?
The Borrowdale Banksy. If you don’t already know, then Borrowdale is in the Lake District here in the UK. It’s a National Park and an area of outstanding natural beauty. Borrowdale itself is a particularly remote area but for the last couple of years, slate sculptures have been appearing; the work of the Borrowdale Banksy. No one seems to know this Banksy’s identity, but the sculptures are fantastic, as you can see below and news of the latest one made me smile.
The latest Borrowdale Banksy sculpture in the Lake District
Eating Out. June is a very busy month in our house as there are two family birthdays within 3 days. So, much of the first part of the month gets taken up with planning and buying presents and it just feels like we’re rushing around for weeks. This year however, we decided that rather than just eat out to celebrate both birthdays at the same time, we’d go out twice. This was smile-worthy for two reasons – delicious food and drink and no dishes for me to do! And then, having enjoyed the meals so much we decided to end the weekend with a Sunday roast in the pub!
A Science Cover. Covering lessons is one of my least favourite things as a high school teacher. You often don’t know the class or have the faintest idea about the subject and you’re usually required to move halfway round the school to get there, meaning that you often arrive late with a chaotic cluster of children waiting for you, excited by the fact that their teacher’s not here. It also means that you’ve lost a free period. On a delightful Friday last month, I walked into my room and turned on my computer to discover I’d been given a Year 7 Science cover. My only free of the day, gone! I was gutted. However, a few minutes later, things got better when a member of the Science department came down to tell me about the class being moved. She asked if I’d like them to come down to my room, so of course I said ‘yes’! First problem removed. Then it turned out they were doing an exam; a peaceful cover almost guaranteed. Sadly – but much to my amusement and hopefully yours too – once I’d settled the class and got them going with their exam, my inner teenager came to play. I had the brainwave of thinking I might try to do the exam myself. Why, I don’t know. I was appalling at Science at school. But when I opened the first page I was delighted. The first section was human reproduction and try as I might to have a proper go at the questions, all I could do was attempt silly answers. The results, below, had me stifling giggles and holding off smiles for what felt like the rest of the day. And yes, to confirm, I am a 51-year-old man.
Local Legend on Strava. Lots of you will know that I love running. It’s been important for both my physical and mental health, especially over these last 5 years or so and it’s been something I’ve done on and off all my life. Nowadays I track my runs via the Strava app on my watch and was thrilled on a recent run to find that I’d earned a ‘medal’ for an achievement. Eager to see if I’d beaten some kind of personal best, I was straight on the app in order to have a look. Imagine my surprise to discover that I’d become a ‘Local Legend’ on a stretch of my run that others in my town must use regularly. Imagine my surprise turning to fits of laughter though when I discovered what I was the local legend of. My official title is ‘Local Legend of Poo Bins to Topcliffe’, a stretch of path that leads up to a local mill building at Topcliffe from…well you can work the rest out for yourself.
Let’s concentrate on the ‘legend’ rather than the ‘poo bins’.
The Leeds 10k. I’ve written about this already in another blog post, but June was the month that I completed the Leeds 10k, which would have been reason enough to smile in itself. However, I also managed to run it in the fastest time I’ve managed since my heart surgery – 56 minutes, if you insist on asking! – and this kept a smile on my face for days!
So, in terms of good stuff happening, June was an excellent month. Even getting a cover lesson ended up with me smiling, even though it was a very juvenile reason! I hope you enjoyed reading about it all though!
Middle Age Fanclub 